007. Sense of Distance (2)
007. Sense of Distance (2)
I hesitated for a moment before answering quietly.
"...No."
"Eng? Really? ...Why?"
My sister asked with a puzzled expression.
"That's because...."
Come to think of it.
Why didn't I?
It wasn't like I was super active in department life,
but there was a junior who chased after me because she liked me,
and there was a senior I had mutual feelings with.
However, it never developed into a relationship.
"...I don't really know either."
Looking back, I guess back then I just wasn't particularly interested in dating.
How should I put it...
I felt like the money and time poured into dating was a waste.
Go out on one date, and tens of thousands of won get blown on a single meal.
Talking on the phone for hours every night, sticking together every single day.
Then I saw so many people whose real lives became miserable because they couldn't even take care of themselves.
Nurturing a cute, sweet love—sure, that's great.
But how long does that actually last?
There are so many couples who fight viciously over trivial personality differences or insignificant taste differences and end up breaking up.
Of course, it wasn't that there were no friends living happily ever after.
Some of my classmates were already married and had kids.
However, I didn't have the confidence for that.
I thought that rather than meeting someone who wasn't a good fit and suffering for it, playing games alone or drinking with friends was way better.
With this mindset, even when I had opportunities to meet someone, I kicked them all away.
In the end, until I graduated from college, I had never properly held a woman's hand.
"Could it be... you're not on that side?"
"That side?"
"Liking... men."
"...Would I be?"
Dumbfounded, I stared ppanhi at my sister's face.
"If not, whatever."
My sister sseuk averted her eyes with an awkward expression.
"...."
Haeun... probably never had one either.
In the first place, after going through that mess, I think it's a miracle she didn't end up with a distrust of humanity.
"...Oppa, what's your ideal type?"
My sister rested her chin on her hand and asked, staring mulkkeureomi at me.
"Why all of a sudden?"
"Just... I was wondering if it's because your standards are too high."
"Mm...."
Ideal type, huh.
I pondered for a moment.
As for height, as long as she isn't too short, it's fine.
It would be perfect if she fit ssok into my arms when hugged.
For her chest, bigger is obviously better.
Her face..., well.
I think as long as she isn't ugly, it should be fine.
"...Still, personality is important after all."
Someone who meshes well with me without having to force it.
And yet someone who would like me.
...But in this world, there is no such woman except Omma.
"Nobody who says they look at personality actually has low standards."
"That... I can't deny."
Even I think I'm picky.
No wonder I couldn't date.
"Ask me too."
"Huh?"
"Ideal type. I want to say my ideal type too."
If you want to say it, can't you just say it?
...Is what I thought, but since I'm a sweet oppa,
I obliged and asked as she wanted.
"So, what is our Yoo Haeun-ssi's preference?"
"I am...."
My sister took her hand off her chin, lay face down, and said while kicking her feet dongdonggeorimyeo:
"...A smart person?"
"What's with that?"
That scope is way too broad.
"Since I didn't get to go to college. Shouldn't I meet someone smart?"
"Do you really have to...?"
My sister.
Dating isn't a game of balancing out the average.
"If possible, I'd like it if he graduated from an in-Seoul university..., and I want him to be tall too. Around 180cm or more?"
"...."
"Money... he doesn't need to have any. He has to be sweet to me... Ah, I hope he works out hard too. It'd be nice to work out together."
My sister said with an excited face, counting on her fingers.
"Ah, right. And the most important thing. He has to be more mature than me."
"A mature person?"
"Yeah. I like someone I can lean on when things are tough."
"...."
Both you and I really want a lot.
"How about it? Isn't this pretty decent?"
"I mean, it is, but...."
The problem is that usually almost no one satisfies all of those at the same time.
"And isn't that practically a marriage candidate rather than dating?"
"Is it?"
"Yeah. You don't date while calculating all those things."
My sister wore a convinced expression for a moment, then soon pouted her lips slightly.
"By the way, oppa. You talk like you've dated a whole lot."
"...."
"Is it really true you've never dated?"
I subtly turned my head away.
"It's true."
"Doesn't seem like it..."
"I told you it's true."
"...I can't believe you. Hyeonseo-eonni is one thing, but taking care of sanitary pads and my clothes for me too. Somehow you seem way too familiar with women..."
Hyeonseo is just a neighborhood friend.
The reason I'm nonchalant about sanitary pads or female products is because I attended a female-dominated department.
Since there were so many human beings with XX chromosomes around me,
I naturally just got better at reading the room.
"You don't trust your oppa?"
"...Saying it like that makes you sound even less trustworthy."
My sister stared at me with suspicious eyes.
Whatever. What are you gonna do staring like that?
I wasn't about to lose and stared back.
"...."
"...."
The staring contest that continued for a while
ended in defeat for my sister, who couldn't overcome her pareureu trembling eyelids.
"They sting..."
"That's why I asked why you picked a fight knowing you couldn't win."
"Oppa lied first."
"I told you it's not a lie."
My sister rubbed her reddened eyes with her lips pouted out daetbal.
"...Fine. Tomorrow I'm just gonna go see Hyeonseo-eonni."
"All of a sudden?"
"Yeah. I talked to her via text earlier. Telling her I was sorry about yesterday."
When on earth did they exchange contact info?
"...Did you tell her the reason too?"
"No. I just told her it's because I dislike people touching my body."
"Is that so...? So what did she say?"
"She said she understands. We agreed to meet up just the two of us later, excluding oppa."
"Why leave me out?"
"If oppa is there, we can't talk comfortably. There are conversations only women can have."
"...."
Jjeop. Now that she put it that way, I had nothing left to say.
My sister stood up from her spot and stretched jjuk.
"Heua..., I'm sleepy. I'm going into my room to sleep a little more. Wake me up when it's time for dinner."
"Yeah. Turn on the air conditioner if it gets hot."
"Got it."
My sister gave a big yawn and went into her room.
"......."
Should I get up soon too?
I should go for a light jog on the walking trail for the first time in a while.
**
For dinner, we roughly made do with the leftover soybean paste stew.
My sister insisted on helping with the dishes, so this time we did them together.
"The sun sets really fast."
Haeun said while wiping a dish.
"Because it's the countryside."
There are plenty of lights in the city, but here even common streetlamps are rare.
So even though it's midsummer, it gets dark in no time.
"Are you really bored?"
"A little bit? It's similar to when I was in the hospital, so it's not that hard."
"...."
Did she say she spent all day doing rehab and just watching movies and dramas in her hospital room?
"Do you want to play a game or something?"
I don't have a state-of-the-art desktop, but I have the laptop I used back in college.
It's not new, but it's good enough to run latest games decently.
"I don't really know games."
"I'll teach you."
Believe it or not, I once reached a pretty high tier.
Teaching my sister a thing or two isn't hard.
"Mm..., later. Today I'll just rest—"
"Is that so? Then let me know if you get bored."
"Okay."
After finishing the dishes, we watched a drama together before going into our respective rooms.
I was watching Noutube on my phone, and just as dawn arrived and I was about to sleep, the door opened slightly and my sister came in.
"...Oppa. Are you sleeping...?"
"Not yet. Why?"
"My... stomach hurts so much..."
My sister said while pressing lightly on her lower abdomen.
Her face looked a bit pale.
I quickly sat up.
"Does it hurt a lot?"
"Yeah, today it's a bit... severe."
What should I do.
If it's severe enough to wake her up from sleep, it seems really serious.
"What about the patches we bought last time? Did you try using them?"
"Yeah. ...Here."
Haeun slightly opened the waistband of her pants to show me.
Something was already stuck around her waist.
"Then should I give you painkillers? Or warm water?"
My sister slowly shook her head.
"I took the medicine earlier... and I tried drinking water, but it's no use."
"...Is it really severe? Should we go to the emergency room?"
To get downtown, it takes over an hour even by car.
I don't know if Haeun can endure during that time....
"Mm-mm..., it's not to that extent."
"Then what can I do for you?"
"I think if my belly is warmed up, it'll be fine..."
Haeun hesitated before carefully continuing her words.
"So I was wondering... by any chance, can oppa help out a bit?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. You just need to leave your hand on my belly for a bit..."
"...."
Still, touching the belly of my fully grown sister is a bit... uncomfortable.
When I hesitated, Haeun said with a tearful face:
"Because my hands are cold right now... it doesn't work if I do it..."
"...."
Do regular siblings go this far...?
I've lived apart for so long that I don't know.
"...Is it a no?"
Seeing my sister's anxiously trembling eyes, I couldn't refuse.
"...Alright. I'll buy you a heating pad tomorrow, so use that next time."
"...Okay."
My sister's expression relaxed slightly.
I got up from my spot and went to my sister's room.
"Then..."
Haeun lay sideways on the bed and looked in my direction.
As if telling me to lie down together as well.
"...."
After hesitating, I carefully lay down on the edge of the bed.
Sticking closely behind my sister, hugging her as if back-hugging, I gently placed one hand on Haeun's lower abdomen.
At that, Haeun drew in a small breath.
"...Warm."
"Is it?"
Hugging her from behind, a faint scent of shampoo drifted from my sister's hair.
Fascinating.
Even though she's clearly using the same one as me, the scent is subtly different.
"...Oppa."
"Yeah?"
"Move your hand a little more to the side. ...Yeah, there."
"...."
I gently stroked around her belly as my sister instructed.
"...Eut."
My sister let out a slightly feverish breath, as if it hurt a lot.
"...."
I continued to carefully caress my sister's belly.
Firm abs forged from long training.
Above them, I felt the subtly squishy touch of belly fat.
This is strangely addictive.
After quite some time had passed, Haeun's breathing gradually stabilized.
"Are you feeling a bit better now?"
"...Yeah. Much better."
"Then hurry and sleep. I'll go after watching you fall asleep."
"I want to do that too... but sleep won't come."
"Just close your eyes and stay still. Then sleep will come."
This was based on my own experience.
When I was undergoing training in the military, I often slept like that.
"...Then tell me a scary story."
"All of a sudden?"
"If I listen to it, my mind won't wander, so I think I can fall asleep quickly."
"...."
Throwing a weird tantrum again.
I'll give her a pass since she's sick.
"Mm...."
I thought for a moment, then brought up a story I heard in the military.
"Have you ever heard the sound of a water deer crying?"
"No."
"Water deer cry like 'Haaaak!'. When you hear it in the middle of the night, it really sounds like a human scream, you know?"
"...Yeah."
"It's scary when you hear it for the first time, but after a while, you get used to it."
When I was a new recruit, I thought a spy had invaded.
"So nobody really pays attention... but they say that among those sounds, there's occasionally a sound made by a real ghost mixed in."
"...How do you know that?"
"There's always a way. The method to tell them apart is... when you hear the scream, you shout, 'Who's there!'"
"Then... what happens?"
My sister asked in a slightly frightened voice.
"If it's a real ghost... you hear footsteps."
"Footsteps...?"
"Yeah. Because as soon as it realizes a person is over here..."
I subtly brought my mouth right up to my sister's ear.
"It comes running like tadadadadak!!!"
When I suddenly raised my voice right at her ear, my sister started violently and trembled.
"—and rushes over."
"...That's terrifying, seriously!"
I replied with a hijuk smirk.
"You're the one who asked for a scary story."
"Even so, how could you shout right into my ear...!"
My sister was slightly tearing up.
She must have been really startled, as a tear welled up slightly at the corner of her eyes.
"Sorry, sorry. It's all a story I made up."
"...Really?"
"Of course. Why would a water deer come running?"
Honestly, it was a story I heard from my senior in the military too, so I don't know if it's real or not.
"How about it? Are you getting sleepy now?"
"...."
Haeun nodded her head and gave a big yawn.
"Then sleep for real now."
"Yeah..."
Only after my sister's breathing changed to a water deer... no, to an even rhythm did I gently pull my hand back.
I quietly closed the room door, returned to my room, and lay down on the bed.
I tossed and turned for a while gazing at the ceiling before falling asleep.
And for the first time in a while, I dreamed of the military.
In my dream, Haeun was a sergeant on final leave.
And I was a rookie who had just hit Private First Class.
With Sergeant Yoo Haeun on my back, I crawled on all fours around the Dormitory.
Haeun held onto my hair, shouting "Iryat! Iryat!" over and over in delight.
Yet strangely, it didn't feel bad.
After crawling around like that for a long time, I woke up drenched in sweat.
"......."
...Drive me crazy.
Even for a dream, what kind of ridiculous bullsh*t dream was that....