Chapter 57
Chapter 57
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 57
Chapter Title: Why Do Humans Pray?
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By any chance, is there something like a carrot around here?
Why do humans pray to God?
Is it the desperate verbal struggle of a mortal cast into despair?
Is it a means of communication to connect with the transcendent?
Or is it a play disguised as faith, just to keep oneself from crumbling?
Philosophically, theologically, or even literarily—
A wise sage might offer various profound answers to that foolish question.
Unfortunately, I only had one response.
'I don't know.'
From my perspective, having grown up in a church nursery before my emotions could fully develop, prayer was just an utterly commonplace act.
It wasn't about asking God for something specific or seeking forgiveness in sincere repentance.
It was like brushing your teeth before bed or washing your face in the morning.
Just a blind routine that had become part of daily life.
How terrifying that habit was—I even went to church without fail while in the military.
— [Snake, they say Buddhists give hamburgers, but you're still going to church?] ... Of course, there were times I'd tried believing in other gods.
Anyway.
So why was I spouting this crappy philosophy about God and prayer now?
— Saintess Nice Wanna Die? Donated 100,000 won! — [Suha, smack her back hard enough to echo, 5,000 won per hit?] Because I was sincerely praying to God for the first time in ages.
In my current state, if she smacked my back, I really wouldn't last long.
I might end up puking up everything I ate yesterday.
I was a little curious what face Suha would make if that happened—but
Even I didn't want to spew breath in front of an audience.
Maybe my prayer worked.
"Eh, no matter what, how could I actually hit you?"
Suha quietly withdrew her hand that had been reaching for my back.
— Lol — Someone like Saintess needs to be tamed with beatings fr — Holding back lolololol — 5k button right there and holding back? Of course, Suha wasn't a saintess.
"Still... you donated 100,000 won, so completely not hitting you feels kinda off—"
"Eh."
Her true nature was always that of a streamer prioritizing broadcast fun.
"Ah, I got it!"
She wouldn't miss a golden opportunity like this.
"Every time I lose in PvP, Saintess takes one hit."
"...What about my say?"
"In return, you give me your all in advice to help me win."
— Ooh — Lmaooooooooo — This'll be fun — Saintess panicked — Saintess run now Truly, big corps are big corps for a reason.
I was honestly a bit impressed by Suha just now.
The fun point of Suha's stream was extremely simple.
'Me nagging and coaching Suha.'
And 'Suha getting indignant at my nagging.'
A setup anyone watching her stream would be all too familiar with.
But no matter how delicious a flavor, eat it too long and you get sick of it.
So Suha slightly tweaked the setup.
'Me desperately advising to survive.'
And 'Suha the trash-hand struggling due to innate limits despite effort.'
Before viewers tired of the familiar taste, she improvised new content.
— Saintess Nice Wanna Die? Donated 1,000 won! [Totally agree] With the mission donor's OK, no holding back now.
"Um, Suha... one problem."
"Yeah? What?"
Just one issue though—
"You don't improve even with advice, so isn't this too unfair for me?"
— Pffft lol — That's... true? — Crazy bitch lol — ㅇㅇ Donated 1,000 won! [Catching that angle here?] This is too unfair.
"Whoa, why'd you suddenly turn off the cam? Uh, uh—"
"This mouth's the problem, right? This mouth?!"
"Mmph! Mmph!"
— Can't stop trolling even right next to her — Lmaooooooooool — As ever, beatings are the answer for mad dogs fr — Moment proving gut-punch is the only way to exorcise Saintess ㅇㅇ — Crazy bitch lol Got owned twice already without a chance to fight back.
Looked like I needed to start exercising ASAP.
...Damn.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Alright, Coach Saintess, what should I do to win? Four losses in a row now."
Of course, Suha wasn't seriously trying to beat me up.
Even when she turned off the cam just now, she just lightly tugged my cheeks—no real harm.
And though I didn't feel much pain, I deliberately screamed exaggeratedly, pretending it hurt.
That'd be more fun for the viewers.
Yeah, this was all just WWE for the 'Saintess who gets smacked for being cheeky' broadcast angle.
No personal feelings involved...
— Take a few more hits! None...
— Ow ow it hurts! Hurts! '...Or maybe not?'
It did kinda hurt a lot earlier.
My butt still felt sore somehow.
...Nah, just my imagination?
Whatever.
Brawling like this would just draw viewer ire, so—
"First off, Suha's problem is..."
Time to get to the main advice.
"Everything. All of it is a problem."
"...Huh? All, all of it?!"
— ? — Pffft lol — Lmaoooooooooooooool — ㅇㅇ Donated 1,000 won! [Problem = Suha] My sincere conclusion, but taken as broadcast WWE maybe.
"W-wait! Don't turn off the cam! Not joking!"
I hurriedly stopped her as she reached for the cam again.
— Was the streamer always this violent? — Now going straight for punches — Saintess corrupted her... — Suha used to be pure concept ㅠㅠ — Huh? Pure? Streamer's always been like this lol She hits lightly, but her hands still sting a lot somehow.
I'm no masochist with a taste for pain,
Hit or not, if it keeps the stream fun...
Still, I'd prefer not getting hit.
Well... half the profits today are mine, so 2,500 won per hit—but
That's 100 hits for 250k.
Better to take three more sexual harassments.
'...What am I even thinking.'
Maybe hanging with weird viewers too long since starting streams.
Sexual harassment over beatings? My head's gone nuts.
Focus on the stream for now.
"All problems? What do you mean?"
"Suha, what's the difference between PvP and PvE?"
"Uh? Obviously whether the opponent's a player or AI."
"Right."
PvP and PvE.
Just one letter apart, but the difference is huge.
Facing players vs. AI requires totally different approaches and tactics from the start.
"But you're playing like it's AI, not a player."
"...Me?"
Suha tilted her head, clueless.
— AI? — Just cuz she's trash-hand? — She dies a lot in raids too Chat reactions weren't much different from Suha's.
Looks like a long explanation incoming.
*Gulp.*
I took a sip from my glass to wet my throat before continuing.
"Raid bosses have fixed patterns, right? Dodge in on swings, out on slams..."
"Yeah."
"But people?"
Unlike PvE's patterned repeats, PvP has endless variables.
"You can't predict what people will do. Way harder than any boss."
— True — This bitch comes at you with tambourine instead of weapon lol — Boss patterns get predictable once memorized "Means you gotta be proactive, but you're playing too passively."
"Passively?"
"Yeah, against the berserker, you just waited for provoke."
"Yeah... scared of one-combo if CC'd..."
"Against the archer, you just ran till trap/net."
"Uh..."
"That's the problem."
This was Suha's core issue.
She baits opponent turns then counters—but lacks the skill to counter effectively, so she keeps dying.
"Saintess in PvP chips away from range, but you're too defensive, so they rush in happily."
Her biggest loss reason so far: ranged class but can't keep distance.
Not just reflexes—too defensive, can't force opponent mobility cooldowns.
— ㅇㅇ Donated 1,000 won! [This bitch was always this smart?] — Yeah — Kinda shocked rn tbh — What is this? Just troll like usual — Troll now and the old hag next to you beats you to death lol [Banned viewer] — Means she hates getting hit that much lol "Ah, I think I get it now!"
After the long explanation, Suha seemed to grasp her issue.
Unfortunately, that issue was—
"Oh, FYI, knowing it won't change much."
"Huh?! Why not!"
"Well..."
Knowing ≠ fixing.
"...Why are you staring at my hand..?"
"...Nothing."
"Wh-what nothing?! Why can't I fix it?!"
If I say it, she'll hit me.
— Lmaooooooooool — Reason = you're a total trash-hand can't fix — Suha seems you don't know — Saintess getting manners beaten in is hilarious Not saying it.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ No matter how doomed Suha's talent, not completely hopeless.
Can't handle meta builds? Use something else.
The one suiting her best—
"8-damage build?"
"Yeah, no mobility, all 8 skills pure damage."
All-in on offense: 8-damage build.
"Won't stability suck?"
"Yep."
Of course, zero mobility means crap stability.
But,
"But you can't use mobility anyway, so better without."
"Ugh..."
Suha always wasted mobility on escapes only.
Mobility isn't just for running.
Unused utility? Better gone—that's my philosophy.
"Can't handle perfect hex builds at your level, so focus on one-shot power."
8-damage core: Land one, chain the other seven.
One hit, then instant kill.
Easier than other builds in that sense.
"Chain easy: Q, W, E, R... Hit Q, spam W to F."
"Got it."
After a few combo practices in training grounds, Suha jumped into PvP.
💥 DEFEAT! 💥 [Kyaaaaack!]
"Ahh..."
Not one skill landed. Utter defeat.
— Wow really.. — Ban bait?? — So much to say but holding back — Notepad ON — My teeth hurt Suha fr — ㅇㅇ Donated 1,000 won! [Wow really... no... haa...] ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Suha Yam] [0] [VS] [1] [Sunsshi Combo] [System: Sunsshi Combo wins!] "I-it's just one round... next one good... Huh? What're you doing?"
"M-me?!"
"What's with the phone..."
— ㅇㅇ Donated 1,000 won! [Is this donor an angel? Just spraying skills on ground—] "Ah."
"...That's you?"
"N-no, not me?"
[Nickname Check] [Pure Advisor] — Crazy bitch lmaooooooooool — Secretly dodging again lolol — Lmaoooooooool — Won't get caught? Lol — Wall real fr Got caught.
"By any chance, is there something like a carrot around here?"
Should shake this place up.
Looks like none.
— Huh — Cam off again — RIP Saintess "Ah, no, why blame me when you suck!"
"I-I'm not sucking, stop teasing!"
— Starting again — Still yapping after beatings, Saintess ain't normal — Never was — Stop hitting already lolol Put up with teasing?
Too much to ask.