I Miss My Mother
I miss my mother.
How much time had passed?
An hour? Two?
I had no idea.
Slurp— suck—
Ever since that unknown drug had melted my brain, the concept of time no longer held any meaning for me. All I could do was accept reality in helpless resignation, thoroughly crushed beneath Mardian.
"Hic… sob…"
Just where had everything gone wrong?
Had I copied her incorrectly?
My childhood friend, beloved by everyone. I had merely imitated her. I had simply mimicked the behavior of the girl who basked in happiness amid the favor of countless people.
I greeted everyone with a bright smile just like her, listened attentively to others' stories just like her, and captured people's hearts with just the right amount of coquetry just like her.
But the results could not have been more different.
My childhood friend won the affection of countless men and women, yet no one ever crossed the line with her. At most they would timidly confess. No one ever took it further into action.
How do I know? Because whenever anything happened, she always told me about it, almost as if she were bragging.
"Hey, you know what? I got confessed to today. From that senior who's rumored to be the handsomest guy in the department, no less."
— …
"Hmm… is that all you've got? Don't you feel anything?"
— …
"…It would've been better if you'd been a girl."
— …?
"Hm? Ah, never mind. It's nothing."
She would occasionally say strange, incomprehensible things, but she was a beautiful young woman who lived happily, basking in everyone's affection.
At the very least, she never ended up in a situation like mine—being raped by another woman.
So why had I fallen into this?
I had only copied her actions exactly.
There shouldn't have been any discrepancy in those actions…
Why me…
Why am I the one suffering this?
"Open your mouth."
Mardian's resentful voice dragged me out of my thoughts. At her command I parted my lips like a puppet whose strings had been cut. She wasted no time pressing her mouth to mine and thrusting her tongue through the gap.
Slurp— suck—
Mardian no longer gave me water. Instead she moistened my throat with the filthy saliva that poured from her in thick streams.
"Ah… uh…"
Her tongue ransacked the inside of my mouth. Every time it moved, my body flinched and trembled with it. She wrapped around my tongue, scoured every corner, and coated me thoroughly with her sticky spit until nothing was left untouched.
After long minutes of plundering my mouth, Mardian pulled back with a heated breath. A thin, glistening thread of saliva stretched between us. She licked her lips and looked down at me with those red eyes that burned with savage hunger.
"Ha, fuck, I can't take it anymore. Just marry me, Tina. I'll make you happy."
Her rough words made my body tremble harder.
Why?
I had given her my mouth exactly as she wanted. I had satisfied her disgusting, ugly lust. So why were those red eyes still blazing with such spine-chilling desire?
"Hic, Ma-Mardian… please… stop…"
I hate this. Stop already. My body feels like it's melting… I'm going to die like this. I did everything you wanted. Please just stop and let me go.
"…Is this bitch of a slut begging me to fuck her right now?"
All that answered me was a voice boiling with hopeless lust. In a situation that offered not a single glimmer of hope, my reason began to fade into darkness.
"I'll give you exactly what you want, Tina."
"N-no…"
Mardian's hand slowly reached toward me. I thrashed with every ounce of strength I had left to push it away, but the more I struggled the more painfully she pinned me down.
"D-don't come closer… I don't want this…"
"It's all right. I'm sure it'll feel good."
With a single hand she seized both of my wrists and held them fast. The strength in her grip was beyond imagination; I was seized by a powerlessness I could not resist. Every time her rough breath brushed my face, terror and despair crashed over me.
Still pinning my wrists with one hand, she brought the other slowly to my face. Her fingers slid down my cheek in a cold, eerie caress that made me shudder.
"N-no… don't, don't…"
"At last I get to touch your fruit."
Mardian's red eyes flared like fire. The breath leaving her mouth sounded like a beast's snarl, repulsive even to hear. Despite my fierce resistance her hand drew ever closer.
At last it slipped through the gap of my torn blouse and closed around both of my buds. She seized one breast without mercy and squeezed with all her strength.
"Ahghhk?!!"
A sharp, metallic pain exploded through me; my back arched violently. The agony was so overwhelming that my vision flipped and my mind reeled.
"…Ha, Tina, even your breasts are this adorable."
"I-it hurts…! It hurts!!"
"Endure it for your master."
With those words her hand grew even more violent. Like a child mauling clay, she kneaded my breast with rough, merciless fingers that knew nothing of gentleness. Pain rolled through me in waves as she crushed my flesh without pity.
"Ahghhk?! Hiiik?! It hurts!! I said it hurts…!"
"…This is better than any drug."
Whether she could not hear my despairing screams or simply did not care, Mardian only stared at my chest with eyes from which all reason had vanished.
N-no, this is weird, I can't take any more.
My body was changing. Every time her hand clenched and released, electricity raced up my spine and a tingling sensation spread through every limb.
My vision flipped. My mind was slowly going dark. If I lost my reason now, I felt certain I would never return to normal for the rest of my life.
I clenched my teeth and wrung out every last scrap of mind and strength I had left. Pouring everything into both hands, I flung Mardian's grip away and, for the first and last time, showed her open hostility.
Slap—!
The sound of flesh tearing rang out as Mardian's head snapped to the side. A vivid red mark bloomed across her lovely right cheek. I stared at her blankly blinking eyes and spat out the resentment and loathing that had been boiling inside me.
"Th-that's enough, you perverted villainess bitch…! You're nothing but a game character! I've killed the likes of you countless times in the game!"
For the first time I spoke the words that had been locked inside without hiding them. If I had been in my right mind I never would have said such a thing. But the strange drug in my system had clouded my thoughts, and I made the fatal mistake.
"…Tina."
And that mistake returned as an irreversible consequence.
"Hic?!"
Mardian's red eyes flashed; both of her hands shot out and locked around my throat. Sudden agony made my body thrash as if in a seizure.
Squeeze—!
"H-heuk!! Ghk!! Hic!!"
Her grip tightened steadily around my neck. My body instinctively gasped for air, but her brutal hands refused to grant me a single breath of oxygen.
"Huk, ghk, hic."
I clawed at her hair and kicked at her body in desperation. Even so, Mardian only leisurely continued to crush my throat.
"It seems Tina isn't quite as obedient as I thought."
"Ha, hic, ghk…! I-I can't breathe!"
"But it's all right. Big sister will train you slowly, for a very long time. Big sister really does cherish you, after all."
"Heu, uh, uk."
Deprived of oxygen, my body gradually lost its strength. The thrashing that had been a struggle for life grew weaker and weaker until my arms and legs hung limp like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
I hate this… again…
The agony of a throat being crushed, of lungs about to burst.
It was a feeling far too familiar.
"I resent you. If only you had never been born, my life never would have become this miserable!!"
I had been certain this life would be different.
Yet a pathetic human like me, no matter what I did, was always destined to end up like this.
Memories I never wanted to recall again rose once more to the surface in a situation far too similar.
"Why, why were you even born…! Because of you I…!"
Her voice reached me. The hands choking me now overlapped with hers.
Back then I had begged her to spare me.
I had begged her to forgive me.
"Who's your mother?! I never once wanted to have you! Die…! Just die! Die together with that damned bastard's child!"
But then as now, the woman before me only strangled my throat without a shred of mercy.
"When you wake up we'll start your education again, Tina. This time you'll become big sister's pet for real, all right?"
A single tear slid helplessly down my cheek. The moment Mardian's final words ended, the last thread of my reason snapped and my vision began to flip.
…I miss my mother.
Even knowing it was not love directed at me, the thing I wanted to see most in this moment was those blue eyes looking at me with tender affection.
Just as I was about to close my eyes into the fading consciousness, a deafening roar shook the carriage violently. Mardian's eyelids twitched; the hands crushing my throat finally fell away.
My body was freed in an instant, yet every ounce of strength had left me. I collapsed bonelessly onto the bed, gasping desperately to reclaim the breath I had lost.
"You…!"
Mardian's trembling voice reached my ears. With enormous effort I lifted my heavy eyelids and looked toward the place her voice had gone.
"…There is someone who has been searching desperately for that young lady, so I will take the liberty of committing this rudeness."
At the appearance of an unexpected figure, I could only blink blankly.
Black hair cascading like a beautiful night sky, and between those locks a pair of amethyst eyes shining with lofty light. The woman I had believed I would never meet again stood before me.
"A-even if you are a princess, wantonly destroying our Count family's carriage is—!!"
"One more word, Mardian."
The cold killing intent that filled the entire space sealed Mardian's mouth. While she swallowed dryly with trembling eyes, Viviana gripped a sword still dripping with blood and stepped toward us.
"I said one more word."
Strange…
Viviana… I had been certain she had lost all interest in me. I had thought she would never spare me another thought.
"Say one more word and I'll tear that disgusting mouth of yours clean in half."
But am I seeing things wrong?
Viviana…
Why… do you look so angry?