025. Want to Go on a Date? (2)
A date with my younger sister.
Have I ever done that in my life?
...I don't know, probably not.
"Ah, it's hot...."
A July evening wasn't hot enough to burn your skin off, but since the sun hadn't set yet, it was still pretty scorching.
Quite overwhelming for the two of us, who had been basking in air conditioning all day long.
"Should I fan you or something?"
"Forget it, oppa. Let's just hurry up and go inside anywhere."
"What about food?"
"We can figure that out after stepping into a cafe or something."
Yeonju, who was particularly more sensitive to the heat than I was, had her shoulders slumped the moment she stepped outside, walking toward the shade as much as possible to avoid the sunlight.
...Seeing her like this, she's exactly the Lee Yeonju I used to know.
I think she was like that back in high school too.
"...."
Following behind Yeonju, who seemed to have no energy left to even speak, I absentmindedly scanned our outfits from top to bottom.
Me, in a black short-sleeved shirt with a slightly stretched collar and shorts.
Yeonju, in a loose-fitting white short-sleeved shirt and gray shorts.
Our shoes were also the same sneakers we wore every single day.
"...What are you looking at?"
"No, just thinking both of our clothes look pretty shabby."
As I was closely checking us out, Yeonju, perhaps sensing my gaze, whipped her head around and glared at me with dagger eyes.
...It wasn't like I was looking with any special meaning; I just felt that for going out to eat something delicious, we were both dressed way too carelessly, so why look at me like that?
Sure, I had a prior record... no, a mistake from the previous loop, but to you, that should just be a dream.
"I need to have bought clothes in the first place to dress up. ...I haven't gone outside much for years either, so I have nothing to wear."
"...Then, wanna go buy some clothes first? It's good to have at least one set of summer clothes anyway."
"With oppa? ...Me?"
And yet, you're looking at me with such a meaningful gaze.
...Even though you probably don't know I harbor such desires, are you sensing it instinctively?
That I'm acting awkward.
"Since we're near the department store anyway, why don't we go catch some AC, buy an outfit, and maybe hit a barbecue restaurant?"
"Go to a barbecue joint after changing into new clothes...? The smell will soak into everything."
"Ah."
"...Let's buy clothes and just get sushi. Skip the meat."
"Got it."
However, she was only being wary; my sister didn't seem to dream that I had committed such an act.
...No, in her dreams, she probably was.
She just considered it a dream.
***
"Haa..., now I feel alive."
Stepping into the department store straightened my sister's hunched back right up.
...She's always been unusually weak to heat, so I understood, but still.
Basking in the cold air as we sluggishly walked toward the clothing stores together, I felt a strange aura that seemed to reject us.
Well, I only ever bought cheap T-shirts or pants off the internet to wear.
Just imagining a store clerk coming over to talk to us made my chest feel strangely suffocated.
"...Don't you usually buy clothes or anything?"
"...I bought plenty of avatar clothes."
"Ah..., figures."
...Of course, Yeonju didn't seem much different.
For her, dressing up characters was probably way more cost-effective than real-life clothes.
As we got closer to the store, I could feel both of us growing increasingly stiff.
And so, this dorky pair of siblings broke into a cold sweat, swallowed hard, and stepped inside the store.
When the clerk approached with a smile, Yeonju and I took a step back in unison.
"Is there a particular style you're looking for?"
"No. Just...."
Overwhelmed by the gentle voice of the female clerk, I turned my gaze to my sister, but Yeonju was also subtly hiding behind me, staring at me.
You dragged me out here, so take responsibility—was that it?
...Still, well, this was a hundred times easier than telling a hair salon how I wanted my hair cut, so I cleared my throat a few times and spoke up confidently.
"...We're looking to buy something that's comfortable to wear together in summer. Something cool."
"Yes, of course."
"But not too casual, something decent enough to wear outside...."
"Understood, then could you please come this way, valued customer?"
When I gave an answer that wasn't just vague but completely devoid of substance, the female clerk skillfully put on her customer service smile and guided Yeonju and me further inside.
Then, while recommending various clothes, she kept unleashing a dizzying barrage of comments like, 'Would you prefer matching tones?', 'This is a best-seller', and 'This suits your body type nicely.'
Yeonju, targeted first, kept repeating 'yes' to every recommendation or option asked, reluctantly ending up with an outfit the clerk picked out.
"Then, for the gentleman, this way...."
"Ah, yes, yes."
...I also just repeated 'yes' every time she showed me something, and ended up receiving clothes of a similar color to my sister's.
A sky-blue open-collar shirt and ivory slacks.
Combined, would it be a little over 100,000 won?
Including Yeonju's, it'd probably be around 200,000 to 300,000 won.
It suddenly struck me as surprisingly cheap.
...Normally, my head would be filled only with thoughts of how much fried chicken I could buy with this money.
"Mhm...."
Taking off the shabby clothes, putting on the new ones, and standing in front of the mirror felt bizarre.
My shoulders looked a bit broader than usual, and my back looked less hunched.
...Is this not too bad?
Since I had changed clothes anyway, I unnecessarily tidied my bangs a few times before opening the curtain.
"...Oppa changed too?"
...And then.
In front of my eyes, instead of the clerk, stood my sister.
A sky-blue polo shirt and an ivory skirt reaching just above the knees.
Yeonju, who always roamed around the house wearing only a T-shirt and dolphin shorts,
now wore fluttering clothes and looked up at me with an awkward expression, fiddling with the hem of her outfit.
"...Why are you staring like that?"
For a moment, I couldn't answer.
...It wasn't because she was pretty.
It was just so damn awkward.
Because what stood before my eyes didn't feel like my little sister, but Lee Yeonju.
"...It looks good."
"I never asked for your review."
"Clothes really do make the person, huh."
"Ah, is that so?"
Having said that, my mouth went dry for no reason.
Yeonju also blinked for a moment before shifting her gaze back to me.
Then, scanning me from head to toe, she gave a slight smirk and pointed at the rags I was holding in my hand.
"Oppa too..., after always wearing that stretched-out collar shirt, wearing that makes you look somewhat like a human being?"
"Is looking like a human being supposed to be a compliment?"
"Sounds more like a compliment than what oppa said."
Facing each other felt strangely awkward.
Of all things, even our clothing colors were similar, so our reflection in the mirror looked to anyone like a couple wearing matching outfits.
...Yet, that.
Felt remarkably unfitting.
I didn't know if it was just because I was one of the parties involved.
"...Are you two siblings by any chance?"
...To the point that even the clerk watching us from the side noticed.
I froze for a moment at those words before nodding.
"Ah, yes. We're siblings."
"Ah, no wonder.... You're so close. You must get along really well."
"Yeah, yeah, well...."
Buying matching clothes together, teasing each other.
In the clerk's eyes, we just looked like siblings on good terms.
...Though I couldn't bring myself to smile.
***
Stuffing the discarded clothes into shopping bags, we walked out of the store in our new outfits.
We headed straight to a restaurant, filled our starving bellies with expensive sushi, exchanged more trivial banter, and finished a brief dinner.
At this rate, it was hardly a day you could call a date.
I wondered if we should at least grab coffee and watch a movie, but...
I felt that bringing up such things between siblings would be a bit burdensome.
...No matter what kind of deed I had committed yesterday, in the end, it was already an erased memory.
As I walked alongside Yeonju matching her pace down the sunset-lit street, I looked at our reflection in a glass wall.
A matching couple look no matter who saw it.
Two people looking far more presentable than a while ago when we came out just to shove food down our throats in stretched-collar tees.
Yet the clerk recognized at a glance that we were siblings.
Of course..., that was the truth, but.
...Because it was the truth, my feelings were even more complicated.
Because yesterday, I had momentarily forgotten it.
Maybe it was only natural.
In the first place, when we first stepped into the store, our clothes looked to anyone like we'd just crawled out of bed.
And what Yeonju and I chatted about was, at best, between platonic guy and girl friends—definitely not the banter exchanged between people flirting or dating.
"...Since we're on our way home, wanna grab some groceries?"
"...Sure, why not."
Having grown strangely quiet, we spotted a mart on the way home and turned our steps toward it.
Pulling out a shopping cart as we entered, one of the wheels must have been subtly misaligned, because every time I pushed forward, it kept drifting to the right.
"Should we buy some pork and grill it tomorrow, Yeonju? Ah, it gets smoky, so maybe boiling it is better...."
"Yeah. It's kind of getting old ordering delivery every day—"
Just as I emptied my thoughts and casually picked out things to eat for tomorrow, a man and woman walked toward us from the opposite direction.
"Whoa...."
"...? Was there something?"
"No, just the people who passed by. They were really tall."
"...."
A couple where the woman looked about my height, and the man looked a whole head taller than me.
Rather than just pretty and handsome..., a remarkably stylish pair, fully dressed up, brushed past us arm in arm, laughing.
...They look good together.
Is that what ordinary people in love look like?
"...Are you sure it's not because she was super pretty?"
While I was thinking that, Yeonju suddenly looked at me and asked with an impassive expression.
...Because she was pretty?
To be honest, I hadn't felt that way at all.
"What are you talking about? Compared to you—"
"Me?"
"...No, never mind."
I almost blurted it out without thinking, so I hastily swallowed my words back down and turned my eyes forward.
...Compared to you, what?
The woman who just passed by was, compared to you..., what.
Prettier?
Was I... about to say that to her face just now?
"What is it. ...Why are you trailing off, Lee Yeonwoo?"
"No..., just because."
"Not just because, what is it? What about me. ...That I'm better?"
"...Well, I mean. You probably have parts that are better."
"...."
I tried to fudge it somehow, but with her persistently interrogating me, I failed to make an excuse and ended up answering honestly.
...Saying you're better after walking past a woman who looked like that.
Having actually uttered those words aloud, no matter how I thought about it, it really didn't seem like something to say to a sister, and goosebumps suddenly erupted all over my body.
"...Pfft."
Seeing me squirm in embarrassment like that, a sudden snort of laughter escaped Yeonju.
...Why?
Why is she laughing?
Did talking nonsense make her feel good?
"Hey, why are you laughing?"
"No..., just. ...I had a really rough dream today, but looking at oppa, it's just suddenly so funny...."
"What's funny about me?"
"No, no. Just.... Ahaha..., because I felt like a fucking idiot...."
Flustered by my sister's completely incomprehensible burst of laughter, I frantically looked around, only scratching the back of my neck awkwardly after realizing that no one was watching us.
...Just what on earth is so funny to her?
Was me telling her she was pretty really that hilarious?
"Puhuhu..., ah. Ah, sorry. ...I suddenly just cracked up."
"No, don't laugh like that where there are so many people. It's making me feel awkward too."
"It's fine, it's fine. Nobody cares."
Having laughed her head off for nearly several minutes, Yeonju barely managed to stop laughing.
Then, grabbing the handle of the shopping cart instead of me, she turned her head back and gestured to me while even wiping away a tear.
"...Let's buy meat, oppa. I'll boil it for you."
"Do you even know how to boil suyuk?"
"If you look it up, everything's there; it's nothing. ...Oppa spent a ton of money today, so tomorrow I'll make a meal for you."
...Just what got into her?
I couldn't fathom at all what she was thinking to suddenly act like that.
How she interpreted what I said to laugh like that and speak that way.
Not in the slightest.
"...Suit yourself."
"Let's just eat something simple for breakfast and boil the meat together for dinner. ...Should we buy some booze too?"
"You don't even like alcohol."
"Drinking comfortably at home once in a while is fine. Mixing it with soda makes it pretty drinkable anyway."
"...All right."
...I don't know.
What you are thinking.
Or even what I am thinking.
Really...,
Though it felt like I really shouldn't know.
"...."
...From now on, I decided not to bother denying these feelings.
Because the more I tried to reject them, the weirder my actions became.
"...Does oppa like seaweed soup? Should we buy some seaweed too?"
"I like it, but only if you put in a lot of meat—"
"Then let's buy beef too. So I can boil it for breakfast."
"...Why are you spending my money like it's yours?"
"It's all going into oppa's mouth anyway, so what's the difference? Just spend a little. You have plenty of money anyway."
"...Fine."
I defended myself like that.
Even so...,
Guilty wouldn't turn into innocent, though.