That's a Separate Matter
Mom has great social skills. She's busy with work, sure, but her natural friendliness means she still manages to make friends even when she's overseas.
If you could call it a talent, that was it. She laughs easily and has a real gift for empathizing with people, so getting close to them comes without much trouble.
Having met so many different kinds of people from every country imaginable, her instincts are sharp too. Even when every person has their own distinct personality, she quickly picks up on what they want and what they want to avoid.
That kind of awareness is probably why making friends comes so easily to her in the first place. Which came first doesn't really matter. The important thing is recognizing that behind that warm, affectionate manner sits a pair of very sharp eyes.
Let your guard down without realizing that, and there's no telling what might happen.
"…She told me something like this."
While Mom stepped out for a moment, I brought up the conversation from yesterday. It was a shame that I was the one who heard the talk meant for Song Haneul, but given that our bodies still hadn't switched back, I hoped she'd cut me some slack.
How was I supposed to know our bodies would end up like this? And who could have guessed that after doing it, we wouldn't switch back?
So what? I felt a flash of go ahead and cut me open then defiance, but I still had no idea how Song Haneul would take it. I watched her carefully, half-expecting her to get picky about it. How the hell did I end up in this situation anyway?
"You did well."
"So what are you going to do?"
No real reaction. Was I supposed to count that as lucky? Fine, she'd let it slide, but we still needed a plan for what came next. If we dragged our feet, things could go very wrong. I had no idea how to settle the anxiety building in my chest.
Naturally, suspicion would fall on the one with a dick—on "Song Hamin." Song Haneul had taken the lead in a lot of this, so Mom seemed to be approaching it a little more carefully. Even now, Mom clearly had her doubts. She had a gut feeling but no hard proof, so she was keeping her distance and issuing quiet warnings. She probably knew I'd understood exactly what she was getting at.
She was suspicious enough that if we'd actually done it, this was her way of telling us to stop right here. Hearing it with that intent left me unsettled, but the fact was we had done it, so no good rebuttal came to mind. If we really hadn't, I probably would have flared up in anger—Is that how you look at us?
Thinking that far, I realized I should have gotten irritated after all. It would have weakened her suspicions by a layer. I made a mental note: next time she said something like that, I was going to get properly angry.
"What do you mean, what am I going to do?"
"I'll go out first, say I'm heading out for a bit. If I buy a movie ticket or something, that should cover it."
Would anyone believe a kid who said she was going to a café and then came back four hours later? Sure, some people did that, but it was usually hard to swallow. A movie theater at least gave you a solid three-hour alibi, which was convenient. After that, if I hit a café, the timing for the room rental would line up perfectly. Throw in a walk on the way back and it would be more than enough breathing room.
"Then what about me?"
"You… tell her you've got plans with friends, hang out with me, and come home late at night."
That was the kind of thing "Song Hamin" would do. He'd gone out plenty even when Mom was around, so it wouldn't feel off. The problem was that it was Song Haneul, not "Song Hamin."
"So I'm supposed to just kill time outside by myself until I come home?"
"I'll give you the ID, so go to a PC bang or something. Rest there for a while. Or there's a computer, so do whatever there."
She didn't play games, but writing scenarios there wouldn't be so bad, right?
"Do whatever… You're not telling me to write a script there, are you? How am I supposed to write in a place full of people?"
"People won't care what you're doing anyway. They're too busy with their games."
"Isn't there something else? Are you just going home first?"
"We have to leave separately and come back separately. If we walk in together, it'll look suspicious. And I need to stay out only as long as my alibi covers. We're doing all this so we don't get suspected."
Was she planning to make all that effort to avoid suspicion completely pointless?
"I don't even know what to do outside. What am I supposed to do before I go home…"
"Just go to a café or something. That works, doesn't it?"
"…Fine, for now. So when are we going?"
"Today's shot. Let's go tomorrow."
I floated the suggestion carefully to a grumbling Song Haneul. We weren't going to have sex—we were going to switch bodies. Well, it was basically the same thing, but the latter was what mattered. I couldn't lose sight of that. If we just had sex and came back, that would be its own kind of problem. It would only pour fuel on the anxiety of a mother who was already suspicious.
"Tomorrow? One o'clock?"
"I'll go at one. You at one-thirty."
"Same room as last time?"
"Yeah, I'll try booking it and send you the details."
Song Haneul nodded. She seemed to be thinking something over, rubbing her chin.
"We're meeting outside and going in together anyway, right?"
"Yeah, that's the plan."
"What if Mom offers to drive you?"
"Then drop a pin for the PC bang."
"…Ah, tell her I've got a friend there?"
"Yeah. You get it."
"You treating me like an idiot?"
Song Haneul snorted like she couldn't believe it, but I didn't particularly care. My head wasn't in a place to listen to that kind of thing right now. Even if we switched bodies tomorrow and came home, the suspicion wouldn't just disappear, so the danger was still there. I found myself wondering if getting angry was the only way to clear it. If that was all there was, I'd have to push back whether I liked it or not. Snipping the bud early would make it easier to move around.
Song Haneul rested her chin on her hand at the table, staring straight at me, and let out heavy sighs one after another. I was the one with more to worry about, honestly.
"…That's what made Mom start suspecting us that day. If we're in the same room at dawn, of course she's going to get suspicious whether she wants to or not."
Whenever I thought back to that night, I couldn't help clicking my tongue. That was when the careful watching had gotten worse. Having Mom around was already awkward enough; if it became uncomfortable on top of that, I couldn't take it anymore. I found myself wanting to get out of this house as soon as possible. Though once January came and it was actually time to leave, Mom would be starting work again soon enough.
"But it still felt good, didn't it?"
"That's a separate matter from that."
It had felt good. The feeling, at least. There was no way it couldn't. When she rubbed those big breasts against me, if that didn't feel good, nothing would stand up. Setting aside the chill that ran down my spine from the fact that it was Song Haneul doing it, and the dread from knowing Mom was under the same roof.
Doing something you knew you shouldn't always carried resistance, but every time we crossed that line, some unnameable emotion welled up. Was this what it felt like when even I couldn't control myself? My mouth went completely dry. Not knowing what else to do, I ended up tapping the table to change the atmosphere.
"Anyway, just keep that in mind."
There was no choice right now. Leaning on those words wouldn't mean anything after we switched bodies either. Once we were back to normal, I already knew what I had to do. I shouldn't have given in to the temptation that night. Or maybe not—it had felt good, after all. Did thinking about it that way make it even weirder?
Well, doing that kind of thing with family, ending up in that kind of relationship with your sibling—it was a secret you couldn't tell anyone. A relationship you had to hide meant it wasn't something you could be proud of. I knew that. I knew. But every time I tried to face it properly, I couldn't keep my hands still and grew restless. My head felt like it was melting, and I shook it.
"Keep what in mind?"
When she made that indifferent face with a man's body, it somehow looked like she was getting serious. The cold expression made my body freeze for a second.
"Tomorrow I'll leave first, then you leave, and we'll switch our bodies back outside before we come home."
Wait—thinking about it, once the bodies switched, the one spending time outside and coming home later would be me, right? Why had I been thinking like nothing had changed? Because even after forcing it last time, we still hadn't switched? Then we'd just do it and go home, nothing more.
"Hmm."
"I misspoke earlier. Keeps switching and I get confused. After we switch bodies, you go home first. I'll be at a PC bang or somewhere."
"I see."
Even so, that indifferent attitude didn't change. It felt like there was something she wanted and I hadn't hit it. Why did I have to cater to Song Haneul's moods when I was the one going back to my original body? But for now, I just wanted to prioritize getting back. I was already so stifled I could die, so I wanted to let the small stuff slide.
"So we're clear, right? It's not like there's anything inconvenient for you."
She made a nasal sound, then let out a short laugh.
"No."
"Then… wait, no?"
"Yeah. No."
With a face full of mischief, Song Haneul rejected what I'd said and shrugged her shoulders.
"It's not like Mom will stop being suspicious just because we switch back. Isn't it already screwed?"
"…That's true."
Well, even if we switched bodies, all that changed was something Mom didn't know about. Her perception wouldn't shift.
"Then isn't it meaningless?"
"Still, dealing with things in our original bodies is more comfortable for each of us, isn't it?"
"I don't care how you answer."
"Mom keeps worrying."
"I wasn't that bothered by it."
Song Haneul didn't react at all to the word "Mom's worry." It was different from the coquettish act she put on to get allowance money, different from the aegyo. There was something dry about it. I knew that feeling vaguely. Not so much from watching Song Haneul up close, but because we'd experienced it together. Maybe I'd just felt it a little less.
"Song Hamin."
"…What."
"Let's live together."
At the sight of Song Haneul laughing playfully with a heh, I recoiled a little.
"Why don't you just tell Mom, 'We're fucking~'?"
I glared at her with narrowed eyes, but Song Haneul didn't back down.
"Should I say it like that, then?"
"Crazy bitch."
I had no choice but to take a step back here. The way she sometimes lost all reason and just charged forward was scary. She seemed to know that if she acted completely unreasonable, I would be the one to retreat.
"Living together would be more comfortable, don't you think? We wouldn't have to watch for when Mom and Dad are coming home."
"What about getting allowance from Dad?"
"Just… money showing up in my account or something? I use cards anyway, so whatever."
"…How much do you have?"
"I'm not telling you."
Well, nothing I could say to that.
"Living together is a bit much."
"I'll talk to Mom nicely. That should be fine, right?"
"Hey. Hey, hey. Don't."
"Heh. Switch back and try, then."
The corner of my mouth twitched. Telling me to switch when the conditions weren't even clear. Did she even realize she didn't properly know either? Or had the conditions she first mentioned been a lie…? Whatever it was, one thing was certain: right now, Song Haneul had me completely in her grip.
"If we live together, I feel like we'd fight a lot, not just a little."
"You think so? We haven't fought since you came, have we?"
"That's not quite right."
"Ah, is that so. I don't remember."
She leaned back against the chair with complete composure. That feeling of being blocked no matter where I turned refused to let me go. It tightened around my heart until I could barely breathe.