Not My Taste
No matter how much it felt like I'd sold my body, I still had to take what I was owed. Otherwise, Song Haneul—who already thought the bar was set low—would only demand increasingly absurd things from me going forward.
She seemed to know just how insane what she'd done was, because she stayed quiet through the shower and after.
What was I supposed to do with this awkward silence? I hadn't done anything wrong, but being alone together under this kind of atmosphere wasn't exactly comfortable. Sitting still felt impossibly hard.
"Hey. You gonna give me that hundred thousand won or what?"
Honestly, I'd wanted to squeeze more out of her…
Before I could even finish the thought, I saw Song Haneul searching for something. The words visible on her tiny laptop screen were enough to dirty anyone's eyes—the kind of terms that made you go ugh out loud just looking at them.
"…Give it to me later."
Fine. Whatever. People could have weird tastes. That might even explain what she'd pulled in the bathroom. It would've been better if none of it had been aimed at me, but since none of this would've happened in the first place under normal circumstances, I figured it was better not to dwell on it. Even if we went back to normal someday, I could look the other way. Family duty and all that.
"Hey—hey, hey, hey! It's really not like that!"
With that, she yanked me over hard.
…Even after listening to her completely ridiculous excuses, my opinion didn't change.
"Let go. That hurts."
"I don't know why either, okay? That's why I was looking it up… I mean, I know it's my body, but it just gets turned on on its own—why the hell is this crazy thing standing at attention…"
Even when I'd been a guy, that thing had a mind of its own. The second a thought crossed your mind, or the second you saw something with your own two eyes, it would spring up at the worst possible times. Still, it had never reacted to family before. Watching Song Haneul shower or jerk off had never done anything to me—so why was it reacting now that our bodies were swapped? I didn't want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if I had to, maybe it was because the body swap made her register me as a stranger. That was possible. Even I felt weird looking at "myself" through a third party's eyes right now. The gap between being me and looking at me was so huge it gave me a sense of disconnect.
But I didn't feel like saying any of that out loud. It wasn't certain, and I didn't want to hand her a convenient justification for this kind of behavior.
"I won't think it's weird, so just give me the money. You said you'd pay more."
"…Fine. I'll give it to you."
"But do you even have that much cash? Blowing money on stuff like this."
"I'm dying of urgency here and you're the one who said you had to get something out of it. In situations like this, money's the best solution."
She grumbled, but her fingers flew over her phone without hesitation.
"Here. A hundred and fifty thousand."
"Whoa. You really are loaded, huh?"
"I get an allowance and never leave the house, so it piles up. And I've got Mom's card for snacks and stuff."
While I'd been off living on my own for school and then disappearing into the military, this one had been living large. It was a little galling, but the cold reality of it just made me sigh. I'd been put through something rough, sure—but at the end of the day I'd made a hundred and fifty thousand won, so it wasn't all bad.
"Since I made some money, maybe I should eat something."
Food was a decent way to shake off this awkward atmosphere and the heavy, drained feeling hanging over me. Turning on a game was an option too, but in my current state I couldn't even bring myself to try. I went for the simple, reliable solution and opened a delivery app.
"I want some too."
"Then order something. Split it."
"I will. I want waffles this time."
"I'm not really into sweet stuff."
We were absurdly close twins, but even so, this was one place we diverged. Maybe that was inevitable with opposite-sex fraternal twins.
"You order yours. I'm ordering mine."
"Weren't you going for dessert?"
"I was talking about actual food."
"You don't even drink coffee?"
"Coffee is… just an Americano."
I hesitated for a moment, then decided there was no real need to split everything so cleanly.
"What, so you do eat."
"Then I'll order the food and you get the dessert. That works, right?"
"Okay. So what are we eating?"
"Rice bowls today."
"Rice bowls are a hard pass. Something else. Isn't there anything else?"
Why was she so picky?
"Soup rice, then."
"Ugh, give it here. Let me look too."
"God. You really need to do military service once."
"What are you talking about? Why would I go somewhere like that? All that hard training wrecks your skin."
"You need to get put through the wringer once so you stop being picky about the menu."
I still had nightmares about those gaping croakers staring up at me. Anyone who'd been through that would learn to just eat whatever was put in front of them and call it fine.
"Ah, never mind. Rice bowls are okay. I'll take the eel rice bowl."
"Going for the expensive stuff, huh."
"I'm paying. I said I'd pay."
"I was just saying you're eating expensive food."
"Unbelievable. Just order. Order already."
I hit the order button, and after watching TV for a while the doorbell rang.
"Shouldn't have bothered."
"Why?"
"This gyudon isn't to my taste."
"…Wasn't this the place we ordered from before?"
"Was it?"
I'd only ordered it once in a while, so I couldn't really remember. I left most of it and picked at the rest, and before long the doorbell rang again.
"You ordered while we were eating?"
"I timed it when I put the order in. Came a little early."
"You calculating bastard. How are you not fat?"
"I used to eat that and then skip meals for the rest of the day?"
"Which is why you have no muscle."
She brought the waffles straight to the table and unwrapped them. I'd stopped halfway through my meal, so I was left in that awkward half-hungry state. I never felt like this when we ate pizza—why now?
"Hey, you eating all of that?"
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason. Just wondering when I was supposed to eat mine."
"Yours is just one Americano."
"True."
With nothing left to say, I rummaged around and pulled out a single cup. I stuck in a straw and took a sip—and a bitterness far stronger than I'd expected slammed into my tongue.
"Ugh!"
"What?"
"It's way too bitter. Did they just burn the beans or what?"
I stuck my tongue out with a look of pure suffering, and Song Haneul snatched my cup away. She sniffed at it, then tilted her head like she couldn't tell either way.
"What would a girl who only ever drinks caramel macchiatos and vanilla lattes know about it?"
"Hey, I know how to drink it. I just don't go out of my way to enjoy the bitterness."
In a fit of pique she took a long pull through the straw—then actually smirked.
"You threw a whole fit over this being bitter?"
"…Unbelievable."
This time it was my turn to be speechless. Since when did the person who always whined about not being able to handle bitter suddenly act like this?
"I can't drink it."
No matter how I tried, I couldn't get through two more sips. Diluting it might have helped, but I couldn't even bring myself to try. It felt like pouring boiled bean water that had been scorched onto my tongue.
"Ugh, this is way too sweet. How much caramel did they dump in this?"
Mid-meal, Song Haneul took a sip of her own coffee and scowled. Our tastes had definitely changed.
"Isn't it because of the body swap? We've only been eating safe, mild stuff until now."
"You think so…? Yeah, maybe. Then you try this."
She held out the caramel macchiato. Half skeptical, I took a swallow just to check.
"Huh. It's fine?"
The sweet flavor spread just right, like my prediction had landed perfectly. A sweetness I'd never particularly wanted when this was my own body was now something my brain was craving with almost violent intensity.
"What is this… Is it really because we swapped bodies?"
The longer this went on, the more clearly I could feel how different the body was.
"Guess so."
"Well, you're the same way."
"…Just drink it. I'll give you some waffle too."
"Mm. Might as well try it."
Sure enough, even the waffle—something I'd never eaten before—suited my mouth perfectly. I was almost grateful Song Haneul had given me half of hers. The feeling of someone who never liked sweets suddenly eating them was strangely new. It was a sensation I never would have known if our bodies hadn't been swapped. And once we switched back, I might never be able to eat them again.
"Is it a hormone thing? Or a taste-bud thing?"
I was a little curious. Taste was mostly subjective, after all. Unless it was some mass-appeal food that captured almost everyone's palate, likes and dislikes were always going to exist.
"Just eat it if you want it and leave it if you don't."
"You pissed you can't eat the stuff you used to?"
"It's just… weird, feeling everything change like this. We don't even know when we'll switch back, so enjoy it while you can."
"Enjoy, my ass. You're only saying that because you're the one enjoying it."
Song Haneul clamped her mouth shut, apparently out of comebacks.
"God. I even did military service—what the hell is this hardship. I thought once I got back I'd just drink myself stupid and play games."
"Speaking of which—let's drink."
"Huh?"
"Alcohol. There's still some left from before."
"Oh. Right."
I'd forgotten. The fruit soju we'd had with the pizza. I'd thought that was what caused the swap afterward, but now I wasn't so sure. We'd drunk it a couple more times since and nothing had happened, which was frustrating in its own way.
"Yeah. Let's finish it off."
We cracked open the bottles at night. This alcohol-trash body that got drunk after barely half a bottle still refused to adapt. Was it cost-effective, the way it hit so fast—or was I just a lightweight idiot who couldn't hold anything and started swaying alone?
"Gimme th' bottle…"
"Your tongue's twisted."
"Th' bottle."
Drinking a little over half a bottle was the problem. The moment I'd opened two bottles with the intention of finishing them fast, my body had started taking a beating.
"Shiiit… so… tight…"
I twisted and groaned, and Song Haneul clicked her tongue and came over.
"What's tight? Your chest?"
"Mm. Tight."
"We've only been swapped for how long and you're already uncomfortable again? Want me to undo it?"
"No… that's not it…"
I thought she might loosen the bra for a second, but I could tell that wasn't what was squeezing me. It wasn't the tightness—it was more like my chest itself was throbbing. I'd been toughing out the constant ache assuming it was just the underwear, but if I'd known it was this, I would've said something sooner. In the beginning the bra had been clamped on so hard my chest felt ready to burst, and I hadn't been able to make a proper judgment. It wasn't my original body, so deciding anything on my own had been hard enough.
"Wha's…"
My tongue had gone loose. My mind was hazy. My blank gaze drifted through empty air, and then my eyes simply closed. I figured if I shut them, the spinning in my head might be more bearable.
"Mmngh."
"Go inside and sleep."
"Just… a little."
I sniffled and barely managed to hold up my heavy head. Then, all of a sudden, some scrap of awareness returned and I blinked.
"Huh."
Had the film cut out?
I couldn't remember much of what came after. Blinking, I became aware of a strange sensation somewhere between my legs.
"What the."
I'd never seen Song Haneul drink. So I had no idea what her drunk behavior looked like. She probably didn't know either. Which meant the dampness between my legs sent every possible thought racing through my head.
"Oh, fuck."
The sensation alone dragged a curse out of me. A full-grown adult, telling herself this couldn't be happening, I lifted the blanket with terrified eyes.
A small, stunned oh slipped out of me.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Consciousness caught up a beat late and screamed.