Side Story - Selene (2): "Ha, Haha... A Pitiful Child Deceived by a Cruel Goddess!"
After I was appointed as an Inquisitor, the first heretic I met was a brown-haired dwarf grandfather. From what I heard, one of my seniors had dragged him in, and interrogating him was supposed to be my very first duty.
Now, this pitiful dwarf denies me and Teht. He insists we must worship a new god, and that's why he was brought here. I've given him several chances, but he still refuses to acknowledge us. We're working so hard for all of you, you know.
On my right, an array of weapons and torture instruments lay neatly arranged.
Choose whatever you like from here. Then interrogate this heretic. Teach him clearly and firmly that we are right.
Ever since I became a priest, she—Iia—had begun speaking to me like this from time to time. Her voice was clear and lovely; just hearing it somehow lifted my spirits.
“How can a goddess who manipulates a child like you however she pleases possibly be in the right!”
“Um, Grandfather… I have one question…”
“…Yes. You poor child. What is it you wish to know?”
“Does the Goddess Iia truly exist?”
The dwarf fell silent at my question. Then he threw his head back and roared with laughter.
“Kuhahaha! How should I know? She’s a god who’s never once shown her face to me. No matter how much I deny her existence, she never appears to prove it! Can something like that truly be called real? If so, then it’s nothing more than a fiction built atop the church’s lies, isn’t it?”
This is too much. After everything I’ve done for you people.
Iia sounded genuinely sulky, her voice thick with hurt. For some reason, it made my chest ache to hear her like that.
“I’m sorry, but the Goddess Iia does exist. It’s just that you don’t believe in her, Grandfather.”
“Child. Of course I know they exist. They are real gods. But that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m saying is that they are not right. Therefore, there is no need to believe in them.”
The dwarf grandfather said he had only been humoring my earlier question. Now he revealed his true heart.
“If the Goddess Iia and the God Teht are truly righteous, why do they permit evil to exist? Why don’t they save those who suffer? If they are justice itself, why do they not rescue people in pain? Can you answer me that?”
This time he glared at me, as if daring me to refute him.
Oh my. That’s quite the difficult question. If I had to answer it myself…
The answer was simple.
“No, Grandfather.”
Huh?
Why doesn’t this grandfather understand? If gods exist, isn’t that enough by itself?
“Whether the gods’ judgment is right or wrong isn’t for the likes of us humans to decide, is it?”
Oh my.
In my previous life, I had wished countless times that the god my so-called parents believed in actually existed. Family. Friends. A home. Time. If they were going to take everything from me, then at least let them be real. I had prayed for it with all my heart. Otherwise my life was simply too miserable. Sleeping on freezing winter floors. Eating bread covered in mold. Wearing torn, filthy clothes. Having no one to call even after becoming an adult. It was too pathetic. So please, just tell me they simply hadn’t cared about someone like me, but that they had existed… I had thought it over and over.
But in the end it was only a dream. The god they believed in did not exist. Only a god completely different from what they imagined had been there.
If it had been the old me, the moment I spoke with Iia I might have given up on everything. I might have fallen into despair, convinced my suffering had been meaningless. But somewhere along the way, my wish had transformed into a simple belief that it would be good if a god existed. Even while believing no god was there, I kept hoping one might be.
Within that contradiction, I met Iia. And now, that was enough.
“Just the fact that a god exists is enough for someone to receive salvation. Don’t you understand that, Grandfather?”
“Ha… By that logic, it doesn’t even have to be those two gods, does it?”
“That’s right. If only they could prove their existence.”
“…Tsk. You’re already a brainwashed doll.”
“I’m not brainwashed. I’m standing here because of my own thoughts.”
“Yes, and they made you think that way!”
This grandfather was hopeless. Unable to refute my words, he could only blame Iia.
You know how terrifying baseless malice can be, don’t you? We feel the same fear toward it.
Yes. I know. Just as you say—if it’s someone like this. If it’s a heretic like this, then he must repent.
Thinking that, I slowly surveyed the weapons and tools around me. What I chose was a hammer nearly as tall as I was.
Isn’t it heavy?
It wasn’t heavy. Well, it was a little heavy, but I could hold it with both hands if I tried.
“Do you still have no intention of repenting?”
“If you want me to repent, tell the Goddess Iia to come here herself.”
“…”
I slowly raised the hammer. The dwarf grandfather quietly closed his eyes.
The other priests will heal him anyway, so don’t worry.
Of course. This was a fantasy world where magic existed, after all.
With that thought, I swung the hammer with all my strength. A loud crack rang out as the corner of the chair the dwarf sat on shattered.
Oh my?
“…Hm?”
“…I can’t do it after all.”
Asking me to smash a person’s head with something like this? There was no way I could.
But this man is a heretic who denies me?
If I just talk to him properly, he’ll surely understand.
You’re still so pure. Is it because you’re a child from that other world?
While Iia and I were having our little quarrel—
“I made a mistake!”
The dwarf grandfather sprang to his feet and swung his fist. The rope that had bound him had loosened when I smashed the chair with the hammer.
“Ack?”
With a heavy thud, my body flew through the air and slammed into the wall. Pain twisted through every limb.
“It… hurts…”
“Did you think something like that would scare me? Fool!”
“That’s not… I wanted to… talk…”
Lene. It’s a little late, but let me tell you one thing. Our order—neither I nor Teht—force faith upon any of you. You all have your own thoughts and freedom, after all.
“Talk? Kuhahaha! I’ll listen—in the afterlife someday!”
Yet the fact that he was captured by us means there is clearly a problem somewhere.
The dwarf grandfather slowly reached for the sword hanging on the wall.
And that dwarf killed three children of our order who tried to persuade him through conversation. He even lied and said he would listen to their words.
It would have been nice if you had told me that sooner.
That’s true. Anyway, that’s how it is. Heretics are heretics for a reason. They deceive and kill people without a second thought.
The moment Iia finished speaking, the heretic swung the sword. With a wet slice, his arm was severed.
“Good thing I stayed to watch, just in case.”
The person who opened the door and stepped inside was an old man. His neatly combed hair was a slightly faded gray. Sharp eyes held gleaming brown pupils. He looked like the very definition of a handsome older gentleman, and he wore priestly robes. I had definitely seen him before—when I suddenly became a priest, and again when I was made an Inquisitor. He was the one they called… the Pope.
“You are listening, aren’t you, Goddess?”
Should I answer?
“I already know you’re debating whether to answer. You’ve realized why I’m here, after all.”
Accurate. Though not very cute.
“In any case, I will say it plainly. Please stop assigning this child as an Inquisitor.”
…Huh? Why was this suddenly about me?
“A child this young. A child with such a gentle heart should not be doing this. As proof, she would have died just now if I had not been here.”
Suddenly Iia’s voice vanished. From the way the Pope’s expression changed, I could easily guess why. She must be speaking with him right now.
“What do you mean…? …Understood.”
The Pope gave a strange reaction, then approached me and reached out.
“May I call you Lene?”
“…Yes.”
“I’m sorry, but I will leave the choice to you. Do you… wish to continue this work as an Inquisitor?”
“Um…”
“If you find it difficult, you may refuse. No harm will come to you. So tell me your true feelings.”
True feelings. My true feelings.
Perhaps the Pope had cast healing magic on me; the pain had already disappeared. …Then what I needed to do now was already decided.
I slowly stood, picked up the hammer I had dropped earlier, and walked toward the heretic bleeding on the floor.
“W-wait…”
I swung the hammer with all my might. The unpleasant sensation of bones shattering raced through my fingertips. Honestly, it felt so awful I wanted to run to the bathroom and vomit immediately.
But this was the duty I would have to carry from now on.
“I’ll do it. I want to do it.”
If someone had to do this work anyway, then I would. I, who had been saved by the mere existence of a god, would make those who denied that existence repent.
“Please heal me.”
“Ah, yes…!”
The heretic who appeared this time was quite strong. Actually, if I was being honest, every heretic I went to meet seemed strong. Why was that…? Or maybe not. Perhaps it was simply because I was still a child and not yet used to handling a warhammer. Thanks to that, I returned covered in injuries.
“Hey, doesn’t it hurt…?”
“I-I’m fine…”
Of course it hurt. It hurt terribly. My right eye couldn’t see at all. Every breath sent stabbing pain through my damaged lungs. My left wrist had been completely severed. An arrow had struck my left side as well. The spear that had pierced my right thigh still left that area completely numb.
As expected, it wasn’t merely denying a god’s existence that made them the worst. Worshipping a god that didn’t even exist seemed far more terrible. Well, if they were decent people they wouldn’t have become heretics in the first place.
Still, as long as I came back alive, they would heal me perfectly. It hadn’t been truly life-threatening like last time. Although I had been in serious danger when I was tricked into becoming addicted to something strange. I really needed to learn how to spot lies better…
“It’s done…”
“Ah, thank you…”
My right eye could see again. Breathing no longer hurt. My left wrist had returned to its proper place and moved without issue. There was no pain in my thigh or side. Even when I checked the full-length mirror nearby, not a single scar remained. After thanking the priest for his flawless work, I returned to my room and collapsed onto the bed.
Why did heretics deny Iia? She didn’t force belief on anyone or demand offerings. They were such fools.
With that thought, I slowly closed my eyes.