The After-Party (1)
Thankfully, I managed to focus during class. Yeonhee still had studying to do, and I'd decided to actually put in the effort myself — if I dropped everything the moment exams were over, I might get demoted from slightly-less-of-an-idiot straight to idiot.
During the scattered breaks we traded bits of small talk here and there, though none of it really stuck. Whenever a question came my way I answered, but I couldn't even tell if I'd managed not to stammer. It wasn't as if I had all that much to say, so most of the time just drifted by without incident.
Lunch period, though, was a different story. It was basically a time slot purpose-built for socializing, so I got pulled in whether I wanted to or not. Afterward, afternoon classes gave me enough room to sort through my thoughts, and I managed to get my feelings somewhat under control.
When class ended, Yeonhee's question after school pulled every pair of eyes toward her.
"Hey, midterms are over — want to do an after-party?"
"I wanna go! I wanna go! Exams were so hard! I want to eat something good, and I want to go to karaoke!"
"If you don't throw an after-party once exams are over, you're not even human. Obviously I'm going!"
"You slept through the entire exam period."
"Sleeping burns energy too, you know?"
Watching Kim Naeun and Kang Hanbyeol start sniping at each other the second they were left unsupervised, the last question came my way.
"Hanbyeol and Naeun are in — what about you, Juyeong?"
"I'll go too."
"There's no way he'd actually— wait, what?"
Kang Hanbyeol forgot whatever he'd been about to say and did a double take.
"You're going? Since when are you this agreeable?"
Well, maybe that was proof I'd changed a lot from how I used to be. And being agreeable was a good thing, wasn't it? What, did he want me to throw a tantrum and flop on the floor like a little kid? If that was what he was hoping for, I wasn't about to live up to it.
"What's the big deal if I go?"
"It's weird, though, right?"
Did he have to say it that bluntly? They asked me to hang out, I said I'd hang out — what was weird about that? It wasn't as if I'd never gone before. Sure, I'd dragged my feet whenever they asked, but I'd always ended up going anyway. If bluntness was Kang Hanbyeol's strong suit, it was also what made him uniquely gifted at pissing people off.
"Sorry to say this, but... yeah, it is kinda weird."
If even Kim Naeun was piling on, just how far had my reputation sunk?
"Juyeong, you're really okay, right...?"
And then even Yeonhee asked, her voice laced with worry. Did I not have a single person on my side? All this over one little sentence. There was nothing to gain from listening any further, so I changed the subject.
"...Whatever. Are we going right now?"
"I thought about it at first, but hanging out right after school felt like it wouldn't be enough time, so I was thinking tomorrow — how about it?"
Exams had ended on Thursday, today was Friday, so tomorrow would be Saturday.
"I'm in!"
"Oh. We're going all day? Then of course I'm in."
Nobody seemed to have any objections. Aside from me, none of them had ever been the type to shy away from hanging out, and they seemed more focused on hanging out together than on the hanging out itself, so time and place probably didn't matter much. And I didn't have any particular reason to object, either.
"Sounds good."
"Then I'll put the time and place in the group chat we made before."
"Got it."
"Shall we head home, then?"
The plans were set. There was no reason to linger in an empty classroom. We passed the remaining kids from other classes, and once we went through the school gates, we'd split off from Kang Hanbyeol and Kim Naeun.
"Yeonhee, I'll be waiting for the chat~ See you tomorrow too, Juyeong~"
"I'm heading out too. See you both tomorrow."
We watched the two of them wave and turn away, and then Yeonhee's voice reached us, so we turned as well.
"Shall we go too?"
"Yeah."
It was still the hour of sunset, and Yeon and I walked side by side along the asphalt. Neither of us broke the silence, so of course no conversation passed between us. It was the same quiet as always, and yet today, for some reason, that silence sat strangely wrong.
"Why'd you say you'd go today?"
The voice that broke the silence was so full of curiosity that no other emotion could be felt in it. I needed to say something, but whether it was because I still wasn't used to being more tense when it was just the two of us than when we were all together, or because I'd come to understand this new feeling — my mind went blank for a moment, but I snapped back quickly. For all that it felt like I'd been thinking for a long time, in reality it had only been an instant.
"Is that really that important?"
"You've been acting weird since this morning, so I was just wondering."
I didn't think I'd let anything show besides this morning, but maybe it had leaked out somewhere without me even knowing. Then again, even if it had, I wouldn't have noticed. There wasn't any special reason. I just wanted to go, that was all.
"Have you been watching me this whole time?"
I could've just told her, but I suddenly wanted to tease her a little, so that's what came out. Even after saying it I wondered if this was even like me, but I couldn't take the words back, so I waited for her answer. Yeonhee, however, wasn't as easy as I'd expected.
She fired it right back, as if she had every right to say it, and I was the one left flustered and speechless. Was it because even a fake boyfriend was still a boyfriend? How much longer would I even get to hear her say things like that?
"...Yeah, I guess so."
The faint flush on my face was hidden by the sunset that hadn't fully faded yet.
Even if a single sentence couldn't change the world, maybe hers was enough to change one person.
"I just... sometimes I want to hang out too."
"That's a good sign."
She drifted a few steps ahead, then turned back with a little giggle, and the sunset spilled over her from behind like a scene from a film. Backlight caught in her dark brown hair — nearly black — and even in nothing but her school uniform, she looked like a model. A little conversation was all it took for the mood to turn playful, and I felt foolish for having been so tense. I managed to settle down a bit.
"Maybe it's because a certain someone keeps dragging me around."
"Whaaat? Are you talking about me?"
"Who knows?"
Being a fake boyfriend was enough. For now, I just needed to focus on my role.
"..."
"What?"
"Ah... I think that's the first time I've seen you smile like that, Juyeong."
Was I smiling? And if I was smiling, I was smiling — what was "like that" supposed to mean, for her to react that way?
"What do you take me for?"
If I really had been smiling, then being able to smile like this was all thanks to a certain someone, wasn't it?
My phone buzzed against the desk with a low vibration. Hair still wet, a towel draped over my head, I picked it up and checked — the time and place Yeonhee had mentioned at school were already posted.
Are we starting with lunch?
Was meeting first thing in the morning too early? Rather than getting together at some awkward hour, hanging out a little, and then hunting down lunch, it seemed like she wanted us to eat the moment we met and then keep going from there.
Yeah, this way's probably better.
Stopping in the middle of hanging out to wander around looking for a restaurant would only kill the momentum. I was nodding along to myself when the phone buzzed again.
Even when this guy bought stickers, did he have to pick the most off-putting ones?
Still, I should at least ask what needed asking.
If we were eating first, wandering around looking for a place after we met would be way too inefficient. Better to decide ahead of time. Yeonhee seemed to think the same, because a message popped up right away.
That had to be the last thing you wanted to hear when you were the one making suggestions, and he said it like it was nothing. Honestly, I'd been about to type "anything" myself, but seeing the same answer already there made me not want to. I'd better just pick something.
Alright. Restaurant's decided, so I might as well pick out what I'm wearing.
I opened the top drawer of the dresser in my room. Inside, it was packed with solid-color cotton tees in white or dark shades.
Right... this is the kind of guy I am.
It wasn't like I was some cartoon character who rotated the same outfit every day, but this was probably what that felt like. I'd forgotten, for a moment, what kind of person I was.
Someone who valued convenience over appearance. Someone who preferred cheap clothes over expensive, stylish brands. That was the kind of person Han Juyeong was — I'd just gotten confused, walking around with Yeonhee every day.
Not like there's anything to choose from, then.
Still, there were no cartoon characters printed on them, and none of the colors were loud, so as long as I put them on properly I wouldn't look strange. If I'd gone and bought yellow shirts or red ones without thinking, just because they were cheap —
I'd be embarrassed for myself, sure, but the person walking next to me would've been even more mortified.
That would've been a whole different level of being a public nuisance. I'd have been the perfect picture of a loser just asking to get picked on in the street.
From the top drawer I pulled a white short-sleeve tee, from the middle a pair of jeans, and from the bottom a black zip-up hoodie.
This should be inoffensive enough.
I draped the clothes over the back of the chair and lay back down on the bed.
It's been a while since I last went out and had fun.
For nearly a month I'd been studying, shuttling between school, the library, and home — there hadn't been any time to hang out. So maybe I was looking forward to it a little, too.
I closed my eyes and thought about tomorrow, and before long the only sound left in the room was the soft, even rhythm of breathing.