Stalker (2)
We left the school and walked for a long time, Yeonhee trailing behind me without a word. A long silence stretched between us the entire way, and the place we arrived at was a quiet cafe near both our homes — sparsely occupied, out of the way.
The moment we stepped inside, I broke the silence with a question about the order.
"What do you want to drink? I'll buy. Pick something."
"......?"
She'd been following me quietly, with no idea what I was going to say, so of course my behavior now left her just as confused. Still, we were about to have a conversation that might be hard on her. I figured I owed her at least this much.
"This is probably going to take a while, so let's talk over a drink."
"......"
When I made it clear I wasn't backing down, she let out a heavy, reluctant sigh.
"Haa...... Fine. I'll have an Americano."
"Got it."
With that settled, I paid, waited a moment, and once the drinks came out, headed for the farthest window seat in the corner of the cafe. The most secluded window seat in the place — the kind of spot where no one would overhear a word of what we said. We sat across from each other there.
I didn't say anything, just let the time drag on, until she got restless enough to speak first.
"So. What was it you wanted to talk about?"
Stalling any longer seemed pointless. I decided it was time to just say it, and asked her straight.
"Something's going on with you lately."
For a split second, I saw her pupils waver. Then they settled back as if nothing had happened.
"You called me out here for that? If that's all, we could've talked at sch—"
"Lee Yeonhee."
I cut her off in a cold voice, and I saw her flinch in surprise. Even after coming all this way, she was still being stubborn.
When someone is struggling, the right thing is for someone to step in, offer comfort, and share the burden. But that was beyond what I was capable of. The idea of me — someone who'd spent half his life alone — offering anyone warm words of comfort was laughable. Comforting her was something anyone could do. It didn't have to be me.
Which was why I'd decided to tell her what she actually needed to hear. Words that only I could say, because I was who I was. Something I would never normally do. Words I would never normally speak. This would be the first time, and the last.
"You really are... a lost cause."
"......?"
Her face said she had no idea what I meant by that sudden remark. I kept going.
"Kang Hanbyeol, Kim Naeun, or anyone else. I don't know what you're dealing with right now, but anyone with eyes can see the state you're in."
"......"
I was no exception, was I?
"But nobody's digging into it. Why? Because you said you were fine. No — more precisely, because you've been trying to hide it."
"......"
It wasn't that they left her alone because she actually looked fine.
"They were afraid that extra kindness, unwanted concern, would just be a burden on you. So nobody asked. They've been waiting for you to say something."
If someone watches a person they care about grow more haggard and exhausted by the day and doesn't want to help — that isn't a friend. The world is full of people like that, but at least none of them are in her circle.
"You knew they were offering you that kindness, and you pretended you didn't — out of nothing but your own stubbornness."
"......"
You'll never know, not in your entire life, what it feels like to have no one around who'll reach out a hand when you desperately need help. That sensation of being alone no matter how frantically you search.
"If you really thought of them as friends... that's the one thing you shouldn't have done."
"......Then what am I supposed to do?"
A small, trembling voice slipped from her lips. This was the real part. I had to drag out the truth she'd been trying to hide — the truth she'd had no choice but to hide.
"Ask for help. Tell them you're struggling. Beg them — please, help me. That's what I'm saying. Ask."
"If...... if I could've done that, I wouldn't have been hiding it in the first place...!"
I could feel her growing more emotional. Almost there.
"I couldn't tell my parents because I didn't want to worry them, and I couldn't tell my friends because I didn't want to drag them into danger...... I couldn't tell anyone!"
She'd been thinking of the people around her, in her own way. But she'd gone about it all wrong. If she'd really been thinking of them, that was all the more reason not to do this. The helplessness of being able to do nothing when a precious friend is suffering — if something happened to her, the people around her would surely blame themselves. Kim Naeun and her parents especially would carry that trauma for the rest of their lives. And I knew better than anyone what trauma does to a person's day-to-day existence.
"Are you... trying to make the people around you live with trauma for the rest of their lives?"
"......Of course not."
"Then ask for help."
"......"
Even then, she kept her mouth shut tight, clearly still wrestling with it. So I had no choice but to speak first.
"Haa... I'll help you."
"......What?"
The sound slipped out of her like she must have misheard. I didn't care, and kept going.
"I've got nothing to lose, and I've already got trauma, so if I fail, I'm the perfect candidate, aren't I?"
I already had trauma, so one more wouldn't matter. That's what I said, anyway. But there would be no failure. I'd make sure of that.
"What are you even......"
"And just so you know, even if you don't tell me, I'm going to get involved anyway. Keep that in mind."
My bullheaded declaration left Yeonhee speechless. After a moment, she slowly spoke in a voice that seemed to shrink into itself.
"......Why would you go that far for me?"
A reason... If I thought about it, I could come up with any excuse. But there was no need for anything grand. So for the first time, I decided to say that word.
"......"
A simple reason, nothing grandiose about it. And yet, a reasonably convincing one.
"Pfft. That's your reason?"
She let out a scoff, as if she couldn't believe that was my answer. Still, the atmosphere seemed to have loosened a little. Now it was time to hear the truth from her.
"Then tell me. What's been weighing on you."
Yeonhee was silent for a moment, then took a deep breath, steeled herself, and began to speak.
"The truth is... I think someone's been following me lately......"
......That's just stalking.
The problem she'd had no choice but to keep locked away was far more serious than I'd imagined.
"It's still just a hunch, but this isn't something that just popped into my head out of nowhere."
"At first I just thought, oh, someone's staring at me again. It made sense — I only felt the eyes on me in crowded places."
"But as time went on, they started watching me regardless of the time or place."
"At first it was only on the way to school. Then on the way home. And lately, I can feel those eyes on me just going to the convenience store near my house......"
The perpetrator was even more vicious than I'd thought.
"Can you feel those eyes on you right now?"
"No, I'm fine right now."
The perpetrator was probably hiding somewhere along her usual route, then following her once she came into view. That was why they couldn't keep up when we suddenly took a different path, like today.
"Just in case — have you gone to the police......?"
"If I report it with nothing but a hunch, I wouldn't even know what to say......"
Of course not...... The options for what we could actually do were shrinking by the second.
I thought for a moment, then glanced at my watch and looked out the window. The sun had almost set, and it was growing dark. Walking home at night in this situation was extremely dangerous. We couldn't afford to linger any longer, so I spoke up.
"Let's get going."
"Huh...? Why?"
"It's gotten too dark out. If it gets any darker, it'll be dangerous."
"......You're right."
So we quickly gathered our things and left the cafe. Even as we did, the sky had grown dark, but it was still manageable for now. We walked at a brisk pace down a different route than usual, until two forked paths appeared in front of us.
"Thanks for today. See you at school tomorrow."
Normally, we'd each take a different path from here to get home, but—
"...I'll go with you."
"Huh?"
"I'll walk you home."
"Uh... huh?"
If I was going to do this, I might as well see it through to the end. She seemed pretty startled by what I'd said, too.
"No, you don't have to go that far......"
Haa...... Of course this is how it goes. She still didn't seem to fully grasp her own situation. Wanting to go home alone when a stalker could be anywhere. I was too tired of arguing to say anything more, so I decided to just act.
I snatched Yeonhee's hand in one swift motion, and I felt her flinch.
"Let's go."
"......Okay."
Only after I'd gone that far did she start following behind me without a fuss.
We hadn't been walking more than a few minutes with her hand in mine when she suddenly stopped.
"This is my house."
The cafe had been close to both our homes to begin with, so it didn't take long to reach Yeonhee's house. I'd known it was near my place ever since we'd run into each other at the supermarket.
To think it was less than a ten-minute walk......
The detached house in front of us didn't have a yard, but it was still fairly large. I'd never thought I'd set foot in someone else's home in my entire life. Who would've guessed I'd end up here for a reason like this.
"I really am grateful for today. I'll head in for real this time."
"Yeah."
I only turned my back after I'd confirmed she'd gone inside after saying goodbye.
After I got home, I threw together a simple dinner, changed clothes in a hurry, and headed to my room. Sitting at my desk, I turned over what to do next.
A half-measure won't cut it. I need a way to end this for good.
How a minor takes on a criminal without the police. No matter which approach I took, every option was dangerous. The wisest, safest path would be to tell her parents, a teacher, someone close, and get their help. But she didn't want that, and I intended to honor that as much as I could.
Then there's only one way, isn't there......
There was one method that came to mind. But it might be genuinely dangerous, so for now I buried it in a corner of my head. This had all landed on me out of nowhere today — it wasn't as if a proper plan was going to materialize on the spot.
Nothing I can do about it right this second, I guess......
I sat there thinking for a long time, and didn't go to bed until after midnight.