The Stalker (1)
"I'm heading out."
"Alright~ Watch out for cars, okay~"
It was still too early for the sun. I said goodbye to Mom, pulled the door open, and stepped out on my way to school.
The air outside had that early-spring bite to it—chilly enough that a cold wind sliding past my body made me hunch my shoulders on instinct.
"Ugh... it's a little cold. I should hurry."
Chilly or not, I set off down the road in high spirits, my steps light and quick. I hummed under my breath, letting the whole of me show how good I felt.
As I walked, I started turning over what kind of prank I should pull on Juyeong today.
Hmm... maybe I'll sneak up and hug him from behind.
...No. That was going too far. If I did that, I'd be the one who looked desperate. Putting that one on hold.
Then what if I take his hand and lace our fingers together?
I pictured it: me holding his hand, our fingers locked.
...Not great.
In the daydream, Juyeong just held my hand with that same blank face of his.
Have we been holding hands too much lately?
It was only my imagination, and even so his reaction came through with perfect clarity.
Well. I was the one who picked a guy like that... of course something this small wouldn't throw him...
That thought pulled a recent memory up with it.
I'd been sulking in the club room after we settled on a movie genre, and his hand had come down in a gentle stroke, as if he were soothing me. Of course I'd been stunned at first. It must have taken a good several seconds just to process what was happening, and when I finally managed to come back to myself and roll my eyes up at him, he didn't even seem to realize what he was doing.
So I forced my frozen mouth open and barely got the words out.
"...Looking after a puppy?"
He was calling me a puppy.
For a moment I was so dumbfounded I didn't know what to do with myself. I had plenty to say—except my body refused to listen. I just sat there, frozen, staring up at him.
Why did I freeze like that...?
The longer I turned it over, the more the embarrassment crept in.
...Ugh. Why am I the one who has to feel embarrassed here!
A spike of irritation hit me. Lately it felt like I was the only one getting thrown off. I was pretty sure I'd been the one pulling more of the pranks at the start, and yet somewhere along the way I'd become the one on the receiving end.
How was it that the person who'd actually done the thing got to walk around perfectly fine, while I was the only one burning up with shame?
This wouldn't do. I made a promise to myself then and there—I was not getting swept up like that again—and headed for the classroom.
The next day.
I stepped out the door in a good mood, same as always. Other kids might've found it weird, someone actually enjoying the walk to school—but so what? Lately there was plenty to look forward to.
Getting a rise out of Juyeong, for instance. Pulling pranks on Juyeong, for instance.
I'd gotten dangerously good at teasing Han Juyeong. What I hadn't noticed was that I'd also started thinking about him all day without meaning to.
I walked along entertaining those uncharacteristically dumb thoughts—unworthy of a girl who was supposed to be smart—and before I knew it the school had drawn close enough that other students were coming into view.
That was when it happened.
A gaze came flying in from somewhere and landed on me.
It lasted only a moment, but for someone whose nerves had been honed by other people's eyes since middle school, a moment was more than enough.
Just some student on their way in, I figured. I glanced around and couldn't tell who it was, but I already knew my face drew men's attention, so I didn't bother digging any further.
The way people look at an attractive person of the opposite sex without thinking—my existence itself was the kind that pulled the eye.
And since the gaze had only been there for a second, I didn't make much of it, and let it go.
The day after that.
The same gaze found me on the way to school.
It felt like it was licking over my whole body, which was unpleasant—but it wasn't as if I was unused to being looked at, so I decided to pretend I hadn't noticed.
Gazes like that were the whole reason I'd gotten myself a fake boyfriend. Realistically, though, Juyeong couldn't be glued to my side every second of the day. Our relationship was still too in-between for that.
That was what I told myself. When I actually thought back on it, though, we were together constantly—except for the morning walk to school.
After school we headed the same direction, so we always walked home together. Mornings were different. Juyeong left the house so early I couldn't match his schedule, so I went in alone.
Naeun's house was the opposite way, so we couldn't meet up either—and even if we could, I'd be putting her out, which I didn't want.
I did consider pestering Juyeong to leave a little later.
It would've looked too much like a kid throwing a tantrum, though, so I let it go.
"Hey, guys. Morning."
"Morning, Yeonhee~"
"Yeonha. That's Yeonhee plus hi."
"...?"
She offered up her usual unchanging morning greeting, then sat down.
Kim Naeun, sitting on the diagonal from me, returned it cheerfully. Kang Hanbyeol fired back with his signature brand of nonsense.
I was about to say hello myself—except something about her face looked different from usual, and the greeting caught at the edge of my mouth.
Wondering if it was just me, I glanced over at Kim Naeun, who didn't seem to have noticed anything. Still curious, I kept looking at Yeonhee, and her mouth moved.
"...Is there something on my face?"
"Huh?"
"You were staring so hard, I figured."
So it wasn't a lie, her being sensitive to other people's eyes. I'd only been looking for a second and she'd caught it immediately.
"No, I just... wondered if something was up."
"...?"
I said it straight, and she tilted her head with a look that asked what that was supposed to mean.
"Your face just looked a little different."
I said it, but I couldn't even pin down what was different, so it came out half-uncertain. She patted over her own face once, then spoke again.
"Ah... it's nothing, really."
She answered in a vague sort of voice, then went on as if nothing had happened at all.
If the person in question said it was nothing, poking further would just be sticking my nose in. I decided to drop it.
And she really did go on as if nothing were wrong. Aside from that one look on her face first thing in the morning, Yeonhee spent the day the way she always did. She sat through class the way she always did, ate lunch with all of us the way she always did, and walked home with us the way she always did.
"I'll head off here, then. See you tomorrow."
"Yeah."
At the fork in the road we said our goodbyes and started walking toward our own houses.
A few days later.
She looked more worn down with every day that passed.
She'd greet us with a face so haggard it was almost painful to look at, acting like nothing was wrong—and this time it wasn't just me. Kang Hanbyeol and Kim Naeun both reacted.
Kim Naeun, closer to Yeonhee than anyone, took one look at that face and nearly bolted over in a single stride.
"Yeonhee, is something going on...?"
"Huh? No? Nothing's going on."
"Nothing going on, my foot... You look completely worn out..."
"D-do I...? I haven't been sleeping well lately, maybe that's it... haha."
That was not the face of someone with nothing going on.
"Yeah...? If anything is up, you can tell us, okay...?"
"She's right. If something's going on, Juyeong'll help you out."
Hey. Don't just volunteer me like that.
"Yeah. I will. Thanks, Naeun. Hanbyeol."
She smiled when she said it. At least to my eyes, though, there was something bitter sitting underneath that smile.
No matter how I turned it over, something was off. It might have been overstepping—but I decided to take a step closer anyway.
The second I confirmed Kang Hanbyeol and Kim Naeun had turned to face the front, I tore off a scrap of paper, wrote on it, and set it on her desk.
Can you spare some time after class?
"Uh, uh...?"
A fairly stupid sound slipped out of her, like she hadn't expected that from me at all.
I tore off another scrap and set it on her desk.
I've got something to talk about.
She checked the paper, finally collected herself, and started writing something in her notebook. Then she tore it off and set it gently on my desk.
Talk about what?
I read it, wrote a little underneath, and passed it back.
I'll tell you when we get there. Anyway—are you free?
The answer came back before long.
Yeah.
I wrote her one last thing.
Then stay behind a bit after school today.
She read my last note, and her shoulders gave a little twitch. Then she looked at me, her face faintly flushed, wearing an expression that said don't tell me...
It's not what you're thinking.
I scribbled it down fast, making my point before she could run with it.
Asking her to stay behind after school, just the two of us, because I had something to say. A confession cliché so well-worn it could've been lifted straight out of some rom-com.
The thing I had to say wasn't a confession of mine. It was to hear hers.
And for that, we needed as few listening ears as possible.
Time passed. The bell rang its way through every period, and after-school arrived in the blink of an eye.
"Yeonhee, Juyeong, let's go."
"Ah—Juyeong and I have something to take care of. Could you two go on ahead today? Sorry."
"Yeah? Well, nothing we can do then. Let's go, Hanbyeol."
"Ehh? Just the two of us?"
"I don't like it either, okay? So quit complaining and come on."
Yeonhee fed Kim Naeun and Kang Hanbyeol a reasonable enough excuse and sent them on ahead. Hanbyeol got his arm grabbed and was dragged out of the room, throwing me a look that was clearly a plea for help. I ignored it cleanly.
Once those two were gone, the other kids left in the classroom trickled out one by one, until the empty room held no one but Yeonhee and me.
"...So. What did you want to talk about?"
An awkward silence, the two of us alone in an empty classroom. Yeonhee was the one who broke it.
"Mind if we move somewhere else first?"
"...If you were going to do that, why'd you tell me to stay in the classroom?"
She asked it with genuine confusion. I'd originally planned to talk here, but—you know how it is in manga. Some student who happened to stay behind at school walks by and coincidentally overhears everything you're saying.
It was an otaku-brained concern with basically no basis in reality. The conversation was sensitive enough for her, though, that I wanted to be careful. More than careful.
Today, I was going to dig up everything she'd been hiding. Every last bit of it.
And with that, we stepped slowly out of the empty classroom.