Chapter 279: Saint Guwon
Chapter 279: Saint Guwon
“Ooh! So this is the bathroom I've only heard stories about! It's magnificent!”
Standing in the middle of the vast, luxurious bathroom, made entirely of high-quality marble, a gasp of admiration escaped my lips.
It made sense, since this was the first time I'd ever seen something like water flowing from statues carved into the corners of a bathtub.
What's more, if you looked closely, there were no seams at all.
Not just the floor, but from the floor to the walls, and the floor to the statues—there wasn't a single seam anywhere in the bathroom.
It was as if the entire bathroom had been carved from a single, massive block of marble.
Just how much money did it cost to make this one bathroom?
It must have cost a sum far beyond my imagination.
“You’re being so dramatic.”
Diana, who had followed me in, saw my reaction and stroked my head as if she found me cute.
For Diana to stroke my head while I was standing straight, she had to press her body right up against mine, stand on her tiptoes, and stretch her arm out as far as it could go. So, while she was in her big-sister mode with a cute expression, she was actually putting in a desperate effort.
Don't give me that 'you're so cute' look. You're way cuter than someone like me.
Normally, I would have bent down a little to make it easier for her, but not this time.
Being in the bathroom meant we were both naked, and with her pressing herself against me like that, why would I bend down?
As expected of the one with the youngest physical age. Her whole body was youthful and firm beyond compare.
While feeling the sensation of Diana's body against mine, I answered without showing any sign of it on my face.
“Dramatic? Not at all. This is seriously amazing. I can see why Sara and Leia would love it.”
That's right. We were now in the massive bathroom inside the mansion.
The very same bathroom where the girls had apparently gathered without me, giggling amongst themselves.
I'd been living in the mansion for quite a while, but this was my first time coming in here.
I'd been wanting to check it out for a while, but it was sort of an unspoken women-only zone.
Between my girls, the people from the Mage Association, and the employees, there were more than a few women in the mansion, so it was hard to just barge in, not knowing who might be using it.
But when I decided to ask Diana today, she—having been in her big-sister mode since dinner—readily agreed.
She told everyone in the mansion to finish using the bathroom by ten in the evening, which is how we ended up having it all to ourselves.
There weren't any maids to help with bathing like Sara and Leia had mentioned, but the bathroom itself was more than satisfying enough.
This is making my dreams swell up all over again. Someday, I'm definitely going to have a harem play session with my girls in this very bathroom.
No, even if we don't go as far as sex, I just want to gather everyone together and wash up while feeling their soft skin, each with its own unique charm.
It was such a magnificent bathroom that such thoughts came to me naturally, but I deliberately hid them and spoke to Diana.
“If only there were maids here to attend to me, it would be perfect… Ouch. That hurts, Diana.”
“I meant for it to hurt! How can you say such things when you're here with me like this!”
Tch. I thought it would be fine since she was in her rare big-sister mode today. Guess not.
Diana stopped stroking my head and immediately launched a pitter-patter attack.
Of course, it didn't hurt at all, but she'd get angrier if I didn't pretend it did, so I put on a decent act.
“What? Are you jealous? You don't have to be. I didn't say it with any perverted intentions.”
“If not perverted intentions, then what intentions did you have!”
“No, it's just that I've never experienced being washed by maids before. I was just curious what it would feel like. You know how you sometimes want to try new things, right?”
“…Stop with your ridiculous lies.”
I tried to say it with the clearest, most innocent eyes possible, but Diana just stared into them and cut me off.
How did she know?
Ugh. Don't look at me like I'm some kind of pervert.
I can't help it! Being bathed by a maid is a man's fantasy!
“Haaah… I suppose it can't be helped.”
But she soon let out a deep sigh, shook her head, and muttered.
“You'll call the maids?!”
“Are you an idiot! Of course not! I'm saying that since it can't be helped, I will attend to your bath myself!”
Oh. So that's what she meant.
“What? Do you have a problem with that?”
Of course not. I have no complaints whatsoever.
On the contrary, having Diana herself attend to my bath is a luxury beyond compare.
Alright. Since it's come to this, I'll have Diana wear Vanessa's maid outfit from my inventory and at least get the feeling of being bathed by a maid... Wait, the size won't fit. Dammit!
Should I at least have her wear the maid headband? No, forget it. I'll just get scolded.
“No! I have no complaints at all! It's just…”
“Just what?”
“Can you… wash yourself?”
“Hm? What do you mean by that?”
“Well, you must be used to being bathed by others. And it seems you use magic to wash when you're alone. Washing someone else is surprisingly difficult. What if you're a girl who can't even wash herself…”
“What in the world do you take me for? Don't worry about such useless things. Do you think I was always in this position? I, too, was once an ordinary person whose only special trait was being born with the ability to use magic.”
“Huh? But you're a High Elf, aren't you? Weren't you a person of high status from birth?”
“Well, it's true that High Elves were treated as quite special among the Elves, but when I was young, there were quite a few other High Elves besides myself. I wasn't in the same position I am now. Besides, when Elves lived together, even those who were treated as special didn't have attendants like they do now. In any case, what I'm saying is that I used to wash myself when I was young.”
“Still, that was thousands of years ago…”
“N-Not quite thousands of years!”
“But if it was when you were young, that's almost three thou—”
“Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Shut up! Shut up!”
Diana covered her ears and screamed, as if she didn't want to hear it.
It was like this before, too. She loses her mind whenever her age comes up.
Does she hate talking about her age that much? I don't really mind it.
“Fine! If you're going to talk like that, then I just won't wash you!”
“No, wait! Lady Diana! That's not it!”
“Hmph! What's not it?! I have no idea what you're talking about!”
“I'm begging you! Lady Diana! Please wash me! I want to experience being bathed by you!”
“See? You should have just asked honestly from the start.”
As I bowed desperately and begged, it seemed she wasn't entirely displeased.
Diana grumbled but took my hand and got into the tub.
Phew. That was a close call. This does mean she's going to wash me, right?
I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't touch the topic of her age, but I went too far without realizing it.
Honestly, Diana is something else!
Her reactions are so fun every time I tease her, it just makes me want to do it more!
Thinking such unreasonable thoughts, I pulled Diana close to my side.
“It's a bit too big for just the two of us. It feels luxurious having it all to ourselves, but it's so empty it also feels a little lonely.”
The tub was big enough to easily fit twenty or thirty people.
In a tub like that, it was just the two of us, and Diana was stuck right to me. I couldn't help but feel it was even more spacious.
“Even if you say that, I'm not going to call the maids to fill it up.”
But hearing my words, Diana replied in a sulky voice and lightly slapped my thigh.
Tch. She saw through me. She's so sharp.
“Really. You're in here with me, so why do you keep talking about maids?”
Did I talk about maids too much?
Diana muttered, sounding a little lonely.
Oops. This won't do. I'd definitely decided to tease Diana today, but I didn't particularly want to see her sad. I didn't mean to tease her like this.
“Sorry. It's just that you look cute when you get jealous about the maids… Ouch. I said that hurts, Diana.”
“I meant for it to hurt! You really! How can you be so mischievous!”
Even as she pitter-pattered against me, her expression was much brighter than before.
I believe that I, who would sacrifice himself to soothe a woman's heart, am a true gentleman.
“Alright then, shall I receive our dear Diana's bath service?”
“Don't get cocky! Honestly…”
Despite her words, Diana manipulated the Magic Stone embedded in the tub.
At that, the water in the tub changed into a slippery, foamy substance.
“Wait a moment. So, the sponge is…”
But that was it.
Diana seemed to have no idea where the bathing supplies were.
Can't be helped. Shall I, the true gentleman, offer my assistance once more?
“Who needs something like a sponge?”
“What are you talking about? If there's no sponge, what are you supposed to wash a body with?”
“You can just wash me with this, can't you?”
“…What are you pointing at? I don't see anything where you're pointing but me.”
She looked around as she spoke, as if she thought I was pointing at something else.
“I was pointing at you.”
“Hm? ……Are you an idiot!”
After a moment of processing my words, Diana's face turned bright red, and she lunged at me, roaring with anger.
“Who! Would do! Such a! Shameless thing!”
That's the look. The look of someone who has never, in their entire life, even imagined such a thing.
It seemed she'd powered up from extreme embarrassment, putting more force into her fists than usual. Not that it mattered, since it was still just pitter-patter.
Oh, Diana. Making a fist isn't everything. It's meaningless if you still hit with the palm-side of your hand. The problem with your attack isn't just the power; your form itself is just a pitter-patter.
But since it's cute, I'm never going to tell her.
“B-But Sara and Leia did it for me…!”
I cried out, pretending to be in pain from Diana's pitter-patter on my chest.
At that, Diana's movements froze.
“Wait. What did you just say?”
“I said, Sara and Leia…”
“Both of them?! I can understand Miss Leia, but Miss Sara too?!”
The fact that she was the only one left behind seemed to be quite a shock, as Diana cried out with a stunned expression.
If this were a manga, she'd have the sound effect 'Kugugung' [rumble] pressing down on her head.
Good. It seems my plan worked better than I expected.
“Yeah. That Sara, when it's just the two of us, she's surprisingly…”
“Ugh!”
Ooh. The flames of jealousy are burning in Diana's eyes.
“Fine! I'll do it too!”
Diana stood up gallantly and shouted.
But she only shouted; no further action followed.
“Diana? What are you doing?”
“…What am I supposed to do?”
Well, it made sense. Just a moment ago, Diana couldn't even imagine washing someone with her body.
Even if she suddenly tried, she probably wouldn't have a clue what to do.
This might be even more fun than I thought.
This is the perfect chance to indoctrinate the clueless Diana into some embarrassing bathroom play.
All sorts of scenarios came to mind, and I could feel a smile spreading across my face.
“First, lather up your chest with foam.”
“M-My chest?!”
“Yep.”
“Ugh. But…”
“Nothing to be embarrassed about. I like your chest just the way it is, Diana.”
“You, who stares at Miss Leia's chest every day, are saying that?”
Every day... Well, I do look at them every day.
I can't help it! It's a man's instinct!
“Hey, you just don't know it, but I secretly stare at your chest too, Diana.”
“A-And you're boasting about that!”
“Anyway, I like your chest too. Why? Do you hate that I like it?”
“Th-That's not it… Ugh. Honestly, the things you say…”
Diana glared at me with a complicated expression.
Diana, looking angry but also a little happy, was cute as always.
“So, hmm?”
“But didn't you say before that it hurt because my bones were digging into you!”
She remembers that?
When was that even? She's got a great memory, that one.
“That was just me teasing because I wanted to play with you. Common sense says there's no way I'd feel your bones, unless you were completely flat like Silvia… Anyway, there's no way!”
“…Really?”
“Of course.”
“Uuuuugh…”
It seems my persuasion worked.
Though her expression was still suspicious, Diana slowly began to lather her own chest with foam.