The Peculiar Nature of My Massage Trait
A Gate appeared, swallowing half of the apartment complex in an instant. And then, the monsters poured out from within.
I ignored the sight of my parents trapped under the rubble, unable to escape, and turned to run. From behind me, a mangled voice filled with desperation reached my ears. I didn't want to hear what it was saying. It was obvious. It had to be a voice filled with resentment toward me.
“Siwoo! □□ □□□!!!!”
Watching me run away like this, they must be cursing me.
“Siwoo! □ □□□□□□!!!!”
But there was nothing I could do here. I was merely repeating the events of the past over and over again.
'Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up—.'
I want to change the past. No, I don't want to remember it. I am a cowardly wretch.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Ayoung sitting quietly beside me. Her gaze was filled with concern. Judging by the soft sensation at the back of my neck, it seemed she felt guilty for knocking me out and had brought a pillow. Giving me a disease and then the cure, are we?
'Wait, what was that dream again…?'
I felt like I had dreamt something, but I couldn't remember a thing. 'Seriously, what was it?'
Anyway. The time for revenge had finally arrived. She dared to hit me with a spinning kick? I would definitely knock her out today. 'Hoo… stay calm.' I steadied my breathing and calmed my heart. Amitabha, Avalokiteshvara. I was currently targeting a nine-tailed fox. To defeat such a cunning creature, I couldn't let my emotions sway me. Maintaining my composure, I stood up and bowed my head without a word.
“Eh?”
“Master. I believe I was too rude earlier. Would you grant me the honor of massaging you as an apology?”
“Hmph! Fine! You’ve finally come to your senses!”
“Yes, Master.”
“Then, shall we see how good your massage is?”
For the sake of revenge, enduring the shame was the right thing to do. That was my philosophy, Lee Siwoo’s philosophy. But the look on that cunning woman’s face was slightly annoying.
“What’s with that look? Do you like being called Master that much?”
“Do you like being knocked out? Want to go again?”
Phew, I lost my composure for a second. Namu Amitabha Avalokiteshvara. I immediately tucked my tail and scanned Ayoung’s body.
“Oh?”
“Why?”
“The massage area isn’t your feet today?”
“Really? It changed? Oh, right! You said the massage effect reduces foot fatigue! Today ———”
Suddenly, a sweet scent filled the air. Sniff. Haa. That was the smell of money. I had to play along. I reacted with an exaggerated performance!
“Oooooh! Is that so! Amazing!”
“Ahem. So, that’s how I landed that kick.”
I pictured the body of a snake and the legs of a bird.
“Wow! Ayoung, you’re the best!”
“And so, I did this——”
I followed up by drawing a dragon with deer antlers and fish scales.
“Oh!!! That’s incredible! You must have gotten a lot of magic stones then!”
“Yeah! I sold a mountain of magic stones and came back!”
I looked at Ayoung’s shoulders, which were raised high enough to pierce the sky. If I added the eyes here, it would be the finishing touch—the Huolongdianding.
“As expected of my Master! Amazing! Give me a tip!”
“Very well! If you perform the massage perfectly, I shall!”
Just how many magic stones did she pick up that her shoulders were more fatigued than the feet she used to kick? Truly, the shoulders of a breadwinner are always heavy.
“Then, please take off your clothes.”
“What?!”
“The massage area today is your shoulders. I need to apply the newly acquired massage oil and perform the treatment.”
“N-no! I, I’m not wearing anything underneath right now!”
“Pardon? You’re going commando? That’s even better!”
“Do you want to die?! And I am wearing a bra! Wait!”
I shut my mouth as I watched Ayoung stand up with a stern expression. It’s better if she isn't wearing anything, right? Isn't it?
A moment later, I looked at Ayoung as she emerged from the room and wore an expression as if the world had ended.
“What! Why!”
“No! Why are you wearing a tank top?! You should have come out in just your bra! How could you ignore a man’s romance like this!”
“Are you telling me to come out wearing only my underwear?!”
“I’ve already seen them secretly several times! What difference does it make to see them once more?”
I saw Ayoung silently getting into position. The posture of her 720-degree spinning kick came to mind naturally. The cunning nine-tailed fox—no, the divine mountain tiger—was taking a hunting stance. Cold sweat trickled down the small of my back. My tongue was faster than her kick.
“Wait! Stop the violence! It’s a joke, just a joke! I’ve never seen them secretly!”
“Right?! Even if you’re a crazy bastard, you wouldn’t do that, would you?”
“Of course! Obviously!”
“If you ever try to look secretly, you’re dead!!”
“I got it, so stop and lie down here.”
I patted the futon I had laid out in advance when Ayoung went into the room. Phew, I survived. Thankfully, it seemed she had never caught me.
System. Are you not working? Even if you enter a tiger’s den, you’ll survive if you keep your wits about you. You should be giving me things like this, you bastard.
“Hnnng. I-it feels good.”
“Hey… can’t you just shut up and take it quietly?”
“Haaang. I, I can’t help it! Haaang!”
“Haa…. damn it.”
“Huuuung! More, harder…!”
No. I could accept that feet are an erogenous zone. But why are her shoulders one too? At this rate, she’s going to tell me her entire body is an erogenous zone.
“I don’t even know anymore…. do whatever you want….”
“Haaaaaaaaang!”
And so, perhaps thanks to the 3-step combo of stroking→kneading→tapping, or perhaps thanks to the oil, Ayoung fainted again today.
Massage session for Lee Ayoung complete.
Massage Area: Shoulders
Shoulder stiffness has been relieved.
Relief amount increased due to the use of basic oil.
Recipient's satisfaction exceeded 100%, triggering a special effect.
Special Effect: For 24 hours, the weight of time (?) will not be felt.
Remaining Time: 23:59:59
“What’s with this special effect?”
“Haa? What a truly insane trait.”
It’s a total disaster.
“Oh, this is a sweet deal. I’ll boost my Duration again.”
I evolved from a 30-second man to a 3-minute man. Nice.
The next day. Sitting on the sofa and thinking deeply, a hypothesis formed. Perhaps I had discovered something great? What is it? It will be revealed in 60 seconds!
As soon as I left the house to prove my hypothesis, I ran into the lady next door.
“Hello. It’s been a while.”
“Oh, yes. How have you been? You seem to be doing well at night.”
“Pardon?”
“Hmm. Hmm. It’s a good age for it, but that sound…”
“Pardon?”
“No. The moaning sounds at night…”
“Ah, yes. I’m sorry. But it’s not like that.”
“Just how good are you at it…. the whole house is shaking…”
“No! It’s not like that! What that is, is!”
“It’s fine. I’m actually envious of a young lady like you…. sigh…. my husband has no use. No use at all…”
I ran away after seeing her ignore my words and cast her gaze toward my lower half. This was the sexual harassment I had only read about in text! Police officer! Help me!
Walking to the park, I thought about the neighbor’s misunderstanding. Of course, it wasn’t that I didn’t have the slightest thought of it. But how should I put it? I felt a strange sense of immorality? Me and Ayoung?
Hmm…? I just felt it wasn’t the right time yet. It was a feeling, not quite a feeling, that I was forgetting something important. Anyway. I went to the park to prove my hypothesis.
South Korea is currently in a super-aged society. Ah, here, super-aged society means 20% of the total population is 65 or older. 20% of South Korea’s population is roughly 10 million people. That means 2 out of every 10 people you see on the street are seniors over 65. Didn’t you know? Then remember it. It’s common sense. Ah, did it change after the Towers and Gates appeared? I don’t know about that. Pass!
Anyway. A park in a super-aged society is a place where you can easily see seniors sunbathing. The hypothesis I came up with was this: Not ‘Ayoung’s entire body is an erogenous zone!’, but ‘My massage itself is an erogenous zone!’
And not long after I arrived at the park, the hypothesis was proven.
“Huuuugh! G-good! Huuugh! My back!”
“Uoooh…! More, more! U, uuuuuh! Just a little more!!!”
“Yoho! My legs!! Yohohoho! They’re worth a million bucks!”
Hmm…. Let’s stop proving it. My massage trait is just weird. Daaaamn it. I should never, or rather, absolutely never do this to a man. Hearing those bizarre moaning sounds makes me want to vomit. If it had been a young man, I would have punched him in the face immediately.
I learned one more thing today. Three acts of patience can prevent a murder. And.
Achievement Unlocked - Am I Gay?
Description: Perform a massage on a M.A.N.
Reward: None.
The trait makes people moan, and the achievement is a screw-loose mess spouting nonsense. “Who made this?! What kind of crazy bastard is it!! Let me see your face! Damn it!” I shouted at the sky, mixing in plenty of resentment, but nothing happened.
I returned home and posted on the community.
I twisted my information slightly just in case. I am an S-rank, after all, and I didn’t want to be identified and have weird rumors spread later. Really. Really. Really. If it got out that I massaged a man due to unavoidable circumstances and rumors spread that I was gay, I think I’d just kill myself.
Comments started rolling in shortly after.
It’s a mess here too. As expected, it’s not that I’m crazy, but that the world is crazy. Seeing the comment left by the Hunter with the Flower Growing trait who is still active in the community, it seems it’s a common occurrence. Though they say it’s difficult, mine isn’t difficult, but still.
This is different from me. I have a shop that extorts money, and the achievement difficulty is low. A screw is loose, but the rewards are sweeter than anything. I can even get exclusive stat points. Anyway, after getting the necessary information, I deleted the post. It’s annoying if my identity gets leaked. I’m definitely not scared of rumors that I’m gay.
Just then, a KakaoTalk notification rang on my phone.
It’s true though…. Well. It’s fine if you don’t believe me. I like hearing women moan, so I don’t lose anything. Let’s think positively. Anyway, since a guest is coming, I should start cleaning. The house is a pigsty.
Ayoung turned off the screen after seeing Siwoo’s reply.
“Hayan-unni, he said it’s okay.”
“Really? But is Ayoung’s boyfriend really that good at massages?”
“Ah, Unni! I told you he’s not my boyfriend!! But the effect is killer.”
“Hee-hee? Really? Then can this Unni seduce him?”
“Y-yes? What did you say?”
“You said he’s not your boyfriend. Hee-hee. If the massage effect is that good, I’ll take him and live with him.”
“A-ah, no!”
“Hee-hee? Why-y-y not?”
“A-anyway, no!”
Hayan-unni had a sinister smile on her face. I know she’s joking, but for some reason, I feel anxious. Why am I anxious…? Right! It’s because Hayan-unni is too good for him! Lee Siwoo with Hayan-unni? Absolutely not. He’s always glancing at her chest, and it’s a problem that he’s always doing crazy things. Last time, the crazy bastard was digging a hole in the ground and living in it. Looking at his behavior, Hayan-unni is 100 times too good for him.
And there was something I was curious about. I’ve already fainted twice while getting a massage. I need to check if it’s only me. By any chance…. the moaning sounds he mentioned earlier aren’t real, are they? Anyway, he always talks nonsense and does stupid things, so I have zero trust in him.
“What are you thinking about? Are you worried about how to protect your boyfriend?”
“I told you he’s not my boyfriend! We’ve just been sticking together since we were kids, and then he had an accident, so we’re just living together!”
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop teasing you. Stop shouting. So, I’ll just go to your house later, right?”
“Yes! I’ll send you the address!”
Hayan-unni would never fall for Lee Siwoo. How could anyone see him as a man? 'Hmm-hmm. He is tall, but his body is average, and his face is just decent enough to look at.' There’s no need to worry. I’m just doing it for Hayan-unni. Right. I’m just recommending him because the massage effect is good. However, I want to know if I’m the only one who faints. No, is the effect only good if you faint? Hmm…. I don’t know. Since Lee Siwoo hasn’t really massaged anyone but me.
But…. What if. Just what if. What if Hayan-unni falls for Siwoo? Or conversely, what if Siwoo falls for Hayan-unni? Then I….
The events of the past come to mind. The day the accident happened. Of all days. That day. Whether it was misfortune or luck. Lee Siwoo doesn’t remember a thing.
'It’s annoying…. Why that day of all days. I can’t even resent him.'
Achievement Unlocked - You Are Trash for Crushing Expectations.
Description: Mental assimilation rate with the recipient has decreased.
Reward: None
“S-stop…. at this rate…. everyone will die….”