Chapter 22
Translator: True Detective
Chapter 22
Shyness
At Yuria's counseling request, Nogada pondered for a moment before answering.
"Try it."
"So I have a friend-yeees. A friend I've known for a long time but became close with only recently-yeees."
"Everyone has one like that."
"But lately, should I say that friend looks different-yeees. Suddenly I keep caring about him and my eyes follow him, it's a bit flustering-yeees. Originally I didn't think much of him-yeees."
"How was it originally."
"Hmm... Bulk? Bear hibernating. Frustrating guy. Bastard whose face is wasted. Person I want to bully for no reason?"
"Now?"
"Bulk, tactless bastard, calm-bug, person I must bully for no reason. Somewhat cute too... Anyway feeling like this-yeees."
"Pfft, why try to approach him while making such an evaluation?"
"I am quite, what to say-yeees. Picky you see-yeees? But I fit well with him somehow-yeees. Didn't talk a lot but seems we communicate well too-yeees."
"You are picky?"
"Yees. Very picky and annoying style right-yeees? Wariness is strong too and sense of distance is thorough so hard to approach style-yeees. Plus moody too, and speech style and way of thinking are a bit unique so many get flustered-yeees."
"I never felt that once."
"Because in the first place I approached Mr. Nogada first-yeees."
"Besides that, didn't particularly feel strange either."
"That is the reason I requested counseling specifically to Mr. Nogada-yeees. Atmosphere is somewhat similar to that friend-yeees. Age is same too."
"So I asked thinking there might be overlapping parts-yeees."
"First of all curious why you try to get close to him that much."
"Just attracted?"
"Is that all?"
"Umm... and comfortable-yeees. If with other kids feel a bit burdened or something like that, but when with him there isn't such thing-yeees. Rather comfortable feeling. So kinda approach him unwittingly should I say-yeees. Strange right-yeees?"
"Not up to strange. But seems he doesn't think of you comfortably? Looks like he feels burdened too."
"No-yeees. Definitely must be feeling same as me-yeees. But strangely avoids me-yeees. Feeling like going against instinct, feeling like trying to be awkward. Ah right! Like a cat-yeees. Quiet when stroking then suddenly accelerates and hisses wildly!"
"Putting all words together until now, just no different from a retard though."
"Retard, you say-yeees."
"Sorry. But according to your explanation isn't retard correct."
"... No-yeees. Just a bit, defense is high-yeees. Get angry sometimes because that is a bit excessive, but rather challenging spirit arises because difficulty is high. Should I say challenge spirit burns-yeees. But a bit hard because doesn't work well more than thought-yeees."
"Must be quite a frustrating guy. Why don't you just push hard."
"Of course tried-yeees. But doesn't pierce so..."
"Maybe he just dislikes?"
"No-yeees! That, once talking starts converses fine again-yeees. Accepts greetings diligently too-yeees. But despite that sense of distance doesn't narrow at all so it's difficult-yeees. Can't understand heart at all-yeees. Is he really a cat."
"Frustrating just hearing."
"Yees. Whether tactless, or pretending to be tactless, keeps distance sharply-yeees. What's more unfair is I haven't done much yet right-yeees? But keeping distance so..."
"That is hundred percent pretending to be tactless."
"As expected so-yeees."
"Dense character who doesn't understand even when expressed openly exists only in manhwa. Don't think you treated him ambiguously with your personality, if maintaining ambiguous distance until now that is just insidious."
"Uh... is that so?"
"Said he doesn't avoid if you approach."
"Uh... yees. Correct-yeees."
"Doesn't approach either though."
"Yees!"
"One of two. Managing fishery [leading on], or supreme retard."
"F... Fishery?"
In the conversation of the two, viewers saw the angle known only to them and were making a fuss.
"If not fishery then means just weighing all day unable to decide this or that so retard. Or kind that acts loser-like because self-esteem is shattered. Hate this side more though."
"Uh... um... is that so? That, maybe just timid so-yeees?"
Yuria, flustered by his harsher than expected evaluation, was busy defending Kim Jae-hyun without even knowing the chat window situation.
"No, if it's your personality definitely must have shown signs tremendously."
"Uh... yes. Think I showed quite a bit..."
"If he couldn't understand that, that alone is already a fault."
"Ah..."
"If because timid should have cut off or distanced long ago. Can you call a guy maintaining ambiguous relationship timid?"
"Uh... mm true though-yeees?"
"Rather recommend keeping distance a bit. If opponent has feelings for you it will show in some way."
"Actually tried to do that, but this rather became urgent on my side... made a little mistake-yeees."
"What mistake."
"Umm... anyway mistake-yeees. Anyway resultantly ended up keeping distance a little-yeees. Seems will approach again soon though..."
"That was done well. If up to my heart want to say don't meet such thing, but since you seem to like him a lot already will try to endure."
"... Yees!? Me?!"
"Yeah."
"Ey, not to that extent-yeees. Said interest arose not long ago-yeees."
"First of all, in my view seems you liked him from before."
"Ey. What did you hear-yeees. Before couldn't even approach because slightly awkward-yeees. Even after getting close a little just good to bully..."
"Bulk, bear hibernating, frustrating guy, person I want to bully for no reason."
"Mm, yees. Correct-yeees. Romantically interested recently..."
"But do you know that? Now that you say after liking, or before, there is no big difference in impression?"
"Eh?"
"Just difference in words, essentially same words."
"Ah...?"
Yuria held her breath for a moment unwittingly at Nogada's words.
I liked him from before?
No?
Just from far away, sometimes greeting a bit.
Just awkward relationship.
Uh, but.
Was I a personality who felt... awkwardness?
Me?
No way.
Yuria held her getting hotter face and took a deep breath.
Thinking about it never felt shy in my life.
Because I was born extroverted, and never been hated by anyone.
Of course became cause of inferiority complex, but that is not called hatred.
Rather close to high praise.
Like insults eaten during game.
So in my world only two types of people exist.
People who love me and people who envy me.
Therefore there is no shyness.
Because there was no bad result approaching.
Because I trust myself.
But thought it was shyness, awkwardness and chattered.
Funny looking at it now.
"Ha."
When... was it from.
Liked from before?
Then why didn't approach during that time and... surely I.
"If not never mind. Could be my misunderstanding."
"... No-yeees. Seems right words-yeees. As expected did well to counsel-yeees."
"Originally others know these things better. One doesn't know one's own heart."
Meaning.
Really didn't know.
That was being shy?
Not awkward?
No not a fool how can confuse awkwardness and shyness... But I never felt both right.
Deserves to not distinguish enough...
Hand is hot.
Face is hot.
Smacking lips at rising breath asked carefully.
"What about other's heart-yeees?"
"Hmm?"
"Said one doesn't know one's own heart-yeees. Then can know other's heart-yeees?"
How about him.
Is this just me too?
"Actually don't know that either. Eventually know nothing."
"... Puhahah!"
Right.
Can't know.
I worried too much about what I can't know.
Thought complicatedly for nothing.
Yuria felt stuffing chest becoming refreshing.
"Right-yeees? Know nothing-yeees."
Rather than chasing unknown, just do what I can do.
I just do as I did, no bump stronger.
"Well, but do we have to know. We just need to know this."
Nogada said that and lifted hammer.
"Yees. Right-yeees. For now this is it-yeees."
"Let's do remaining counseling later again."
"Yees."
Yuria calmed down excited voice and started work.
At first intended to ask subtly.
Because can't bring up reality story suddenly.
Intended to make it sound like story about Nogada moderately...
Talking became serious and said too much.
Did it show?
Didn't show.
Relief.
If like this it's a happening.
Yuria who shook off even remaining bit of discomfort expressed gratitude with clear voice.
"Thank you. Thanks to you inside is pierced [refreshed]."
Since working now could say after finishing, but decided to say in advance.
Because gratitude too big to keep.
Yuria gained a lot from this counseling.
First knew Nogada has no or little romantic interest in her.
Actually only text exchanged so hard to have.
Anyway became able to treat him more relieved.
And realized my heart I didn't know myself.
Didn't get strategy which was goal but this alone was big.
Found cause of sudden love I didn't know, and realized frustration was illusion made by myself.
Knew myself and knew opponent.
Now only winning left.
Viewers also gained a lot from this counseling.
Gained many misunderstandings.
Nogada gained something too.
"Other's romance fun?"
"Originally like that-yeees."
Gained fun conversation topic.
It was a good counseling mutually win-win, win-win-win.