Memory (6)
Memory (6)
The embarrassment of wearing a dress had long since flown away.
Seeing that the children in front of me held no wariness toward me, I actually felt it was fortunate I had come dressed like this. If they'd been needlessly frightened, we wouldn't have been able to have a real conversation.
The problem was... now that I had these children gazing at me with such curious eyes gathered before me, I had absolutely no idea what to say.
I couldn't come right out and ask, 'I'm from the same orphanage as you. Do you recognize me?' There were too many of them for that. Even if Daniel figured out my identity, he didn't seem like the type to tell anyone else, but I couldn't be sure about the other nine children.
"......."
And only after thinking that far did it strike me: I truly didn't know a single thing about these children.
Which was only natural. You often discover unknown sides to a friend you've known for ten years. If these were children I'd only lived with for a few months, simply remembering their faces after ten years was something I could feel proud of my memory for.
... Not that I felt particularly proud.
"Sis, look."
Claire had approached my side while I was standing there blankly. She slipped her arm through mine, linking elbows, and tugged me forward.
I took one step closer toward the children.
"Big Sis Sylvia."
Claire added, as an afterthought.
The words were directed at me, but they were probably actually meant for the children to hear, not for me. Claire must have known she couldn't tell them the whole truth either, but she probably wanted to offer at least a hint.
And a hint was, literally, just a hint. If these children ever came back to ask again with certainty, all I'd have to do was deny it with all my might.
A few children who heard Claire's words stared at me blankly, blinking. Blink, blink. Over the course of several blinks, the light of understanding entered their eyes, and soon their faces slowly colored with surprise.
And that light of understanding rippled outward like a wave, engulfing the children beside them one by one. They'd look at the child next to them, then study my face intently, then realize something. And then they'd gape in identical astonishment.
It didn't even take a minute for that cycle to repeat a few times.
These children all remembered me. To the point where they could recognize my identity in less than a minute.
And I hadn't even been able to remember all their names.
"This person,"
Claire spoke, still with her arm firmly linked through mine. As if she thought I might bolt somewhere at any moment if she didn't hold on.
... The last time we were all together like this was when I had been abducted by Lucas and became a member of the Imperial family.
Claire still hadn't fully grasped what had happened back then, but she seemed to think something like it might occur again even now.
"This person is Her Imperial Highness, Princess Sylvia Fangriffon of the Fangriffon Imperial Family."
A few children jolted in shock. Some hesitated, bending awkwardly at the waist as if debating whether they should bow, then glanced around at the others not moving and floundered in confusion.
They were all still young. Even though ten years had passed.
Did that mean I still looked young in other people's eyes too?
My mind was too muddled to think logically.
"We became close at the academy and I invited her. When she heard that we were protecting you, she said she wanted to see you in person, so I brought her here."
The playful demeanor she'd shown Leo had vanished somewhere. Claire explained gently to the children in a soft voice, as if this was exactly how it ought to be done.
I thought about Claire after I had disappeared.
It wasn't as if I'd never imagined it before. I'd imagined it many times, even after parting from Claire. She'd be doing well, I thought. She was with the Grace family, so there was no chance she'd grow up twisted. I'd imagined things like that. Until we met again at the academy.
And after we met, there was no need to imagine anymore.
Diligent and hardworking at everything, but with a cheerful personality, good at making friends, sociable... That resulting Claire was right beside me, after all.
But could I really call that Claire's true self?
Like the Claire in the original story who went through such events, grew twisted, and bickered constantly with Alice while growing up in the Imperial Palace—had she actually developed that personality because of unavoidable circumstances?
Right after I, who had been the children's center, disappeared... what had Claire said to them? How had she comforted them?
"Well? Isn't she pretty?"
She'd gotten prettier, hadn't she?
That was how Claire's words sounded to my ears.
Claire, now holding my arm with both hands as if embracing it and smiling, said it like she was showing me off. As if she herself was utterly proud.
"Her Highness is curious about your stories. What about all of you?"
"......."
The children's gazes lingered on Claire, then all turned toward me together.
"Shall we tell her our stories?"
Under normal circumstances, that would be an absurd thing to say.
Many nobles engage in charity. Whether out of genuine compassion, religious reasons, or to demonstrate their generosity, quite a few people fund relief activities in the slums, run orphanages, and even visit them.
But it would be rude to waylay such a benefactor by pointlessly telling long stories about yourself. Nobles and commoners lived in different worlds, so naturally, most nobles had no intention of deliberately listening to commoners' tales. Even if they were people helping those commoners.
But Claire had said it anyway.
As if I would want that.
And—
Yes, honestly, I did want that.
*
Emma had a talent for cleaning. It wasn't just that she mopped well. She had an exceptional knack for eyeballing an object's size and knowing exactly which space it would fit into, how to stack boxes to cram just one more into the storeroom. So now, she was receiving maid training. Once she grew a little older, she would probably work a few more years at the main estate, then meet a decent man and get married.
Oliver excelled at swordsmanship. Not quite to Claire's level, but it was clearly visible that he would grow enough to at least be of help at his master's side during a fight. So these days, he was undergoing training. Someday, when he came of age, Oliver would become one of the people guarding the entrance to this territory.
Chloe had a talent for caring for plants—
One by one, as if giving a presentation, they told me their stories.
Everyone was different. There were children who would end up working in similar places, but not a single one had a talent that could be called exactly the same.
And every one of them was one of the children I had lowered down with the tied-together curtain.
"......."
As I listened attentively to the children's stories, I said nothing.
The truth was, I remembered that day.
I had simply intended to leave with just Claire. It was Claire who had spoken to me about the children.
The kids... the kids are still inside.
Only after hearing those words from Claire did I go back up and try to save the children.
If Claire hadn't said that—
But the children, who smiled as if they could tell exactly who I was, introduced themselves proudly, as though determined to live hard enough that my saving them would never feel like a waste.
And beside me, Claire listened along to their stories with a beaming smile on her face.
Embarrassing.
Humiliating.
I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.
The sensation was similar to wearing ill-fitting clothes.
I wasn't... I wasn't as good a person as these children thought I was.
"...... Sylvia."
While I was listening, someone beside me abruptly tapped my shoulder and spoke.
It was Alice.
Alice, who had spoken to me from the side opposite Claire, wore a slightly worried expression.
"......."
Are you okay? That question wasn't voiced. Alice also knew what kind of children these were, proudly telling their stories in front of me.
And Alice too probably thought I had saved all those children. Or at least, she thought I had done something worthy of receiving such gratitude from them.
"Shall we rest a little?"
At Claire's question, I gave a small nod.
I moved and sat down in one of the chairs in the lobby.
When I said nothing, the others here said nothing either.
Ah, this wasn't what I'd intended.
And yet, I didn't know what I was supposed to say.
So for a while, I simply sat still, steadying my breathing.