The Somewhat Insane Saintess (5)
We adventurers all fell silent, staring at the saintess's palm. She irritably thrust it out with a smack.
"Twenty silver coins."
"What... what do you mean...?" the man whose ankle she'd healed stammered in bewilderment.
"You new to holy healing or something? It's not free."
"Is that... so...?"
As Saintess Celereja said, holy healing wasn't free. You paid a set fee at the temple for treatment. But this was different. She'd gone ahead and healed him like she was dispensing divine charity, only to demand payment now.
Naturally, the adventurers didn't have twenty silver coins on hand. They were utterly flustered—they hadn't expected the saintess to haggle with them, and they lacked the guts to stand up to her.
So I stepped in for them.
"Why do they have to pay for healing?"
"I healed them, so they pay. Isn't that obvious?"
"You didn't tell them upfront. You acted like it was charity, then hit them with a bill?"
The saintess shot to her feet and snapped back.
"So if you eat without asking the price, you don't pay?!"
"Hm..."
I glanced at her and muttered glumly.
"Well... no, if you eat, you pay..."
The adventurers, who'd thought I'd back them up, looked disappointed when I folded so quickly.
The saintess eyed me like I was some nobody and grumbled.
"What nonsense."
But I hadn't folded.
"Oh, right. Saintess, you owe for lodging."
"...What lodging?"
"You slept here last night."
"What? You guys shoved me into a room on your own... Ah...!"
The saintess suddenly clamped her mouth shut.
"Heh heh. By your logic, if you sleep, you pay."
I held out my hand to her.
"Single room. Twenty silver coins."
The saintess glared at me wordlessly. But with four witnesses, she couldn't backtrack.
"Come on. No money? You could wash dishes. Two days oughta cover it..."
"Here!"
She yanked a small pouch from her pocket and practically threw it at me. I opened it, took exactly twenty silver coins, and handed the rest back.
I gave the coins to the adventurers.
"Long trip to Apenzel. Use it for the road. Senior traveler's courtesy."
"Th-thank you..."
The adventurer glanced nervously at the fuming saintess and hesitantly offered the coins back.
"Saintess... your healing fee..."
"Aargh!"
She snatched the money like it was diseased and stormed out with a roar. But Kali was at the entrance, so she couldn't leave and just hissed in frustration.
"Hiss! Outta my way! Hiss!"
"Hey, easy."
I shoved her aside, picked up Kali, and patted him. The saintess bolted into the still-dark predawn courtyard.
What a foul-tempered, dogshit saintess... Wait, no—calling her dogshit was an insult to dogs.
I stroked Kali and headed back inside. The adventurers stood frozen, still processing what just happened.
"Go rest upstairs. Wake you for lunch?"
"Y-yeah... please..."
They muttered among themselves, heads tilted, and climbed the stairs. Watching the man walk off fine, I thought stocking basic remedies for minor injuries might be smart. Travelers often came back scraped up.
I knew basic first aid, but it'd kill me if I handled it all. Can't hire a doctor or pharmacist either—too damn expensive.
Hm... Think on it later.
But what was that crazy saintess's deal, dozing against the inn wall? I'd meant to ask...
A cat snuck into the wagon parking lot, chased by a statue—minor commotion. Good that the statue worked, but it plowed through a few wagons chasing it, spilling cargo everywhere.
Lucky the loads weren't fragile, or the inn would've been bankrupt.
Oblivious, Idwild grinned creepily at the rampaging statue.
"Hehe... Working perfectly..."
I yanked her arm.
"Hey! Can't you make it dodge wagons?"
"Then... it'd be harder to catch thieves..."
"Better than smashed goods."
"Fine... I'll adjust..."
Idwild gestured, and the statue slowed. No longer berserk, it tiptoed between wagons like a gentle owner playing hide-and-seek with the cat.
The bakery we rented sent over some fresh loaves—their first batch since opening. Landlord's tasting privilege.
Bakeries usually had massive ovens for selling bread, sometimes renting space for folks to bake their own using residual heat.
I sent the apprentice back with a bottle of mead as thanks.
"Thank you, landlord."
The kid bowed and left. Landlord, huh? Weird title.
Idi, Della, and I gathered to try it. Fresh-baked, tearing it by hand pulled perfect strings—looked delicious. The wheaty aroma hit hard, making my mouth water.
Chewy, sticky—perfect without jam or butter. Della tore bits with her fingers; Idwild chomped huge bites.
"Never had anything like this..."
Idwild always said that with good food. What the hell had she been eating all her life...?
Around afternoon, a city clerk showed up. Hildeva wanted to see me—come along?
Didn't know why. Not dinnertime yet, bit of downtime, so I went.
"Welcome, Bertrand."
Hildeva greeted me warmly at city hall.
"What's this about, calling me here?"
"We'll talk on the way."
She grabbed my arm and headed out. Now I saw: short coat for outings, bundle of papers under her arm.
"Going to the temple. Come with?"
"Me?"
The head priest wanted data on parishioners in her district—Rosens. Plus, discuss future faith activities. Insisted the administrator come.
"Those lecherous bastards probably want me alone in an empty temple for something shady."
"Told you. Priests are what?"
"Dogs that just hump?"
"Hahaha!"
Official request—no refusing. Alone? Sketchy. Clerk? Unreliable.
"Here."
Hildeva shoved the papers at me.
"Too heavy for me, but Bertrand passing by offered. Got it?"
Thus, I became admin assistant, lugging papers to the temple behind her.
The temple sat a bit toward the Vurn Mountains from downtown—quiet spot away from crowded streets.
Classic stone building: thick pillars flanking the entrance. Smallish, but imposing. Hm... How much donations and taxes per pillar?
Inside: worship hall right away. Young priest waiting.
"Welcome... Administrator..."
He trailed off spotting me behind.
"Hello, priest. Brought the data Head Priest requested."
Hildeva pointed at me; the kid sputtered.
"Ah... y-yes. Head Priest is in his office... this way..."
We followed to the back. He hesitated, then opened the door.
Spacious office: bookshelves, desk, guest table, sofa. Big bed in corner—head priest lived here.
Head priest on sofa chuckled at us, smile vanishing when he saw me.
"Administrator, I said come alone..."
"Too many papers. Ran into Bertrand, asked for help."
"Ahem... fine. Sit."
Hildeva sat; I dropped papers on table and joined her. Head priest stared blankly.
"You can go now."
"What? Came all this way, no tea?"
"Private talk with administrator."
"C'mon. My blood-sweat donations built those pillars."
I hammed it up; Hildeva bit her lip holding back laughs. No choice—he called the young priest for tea.
"Where's Saintess Celereja?"
I asked; he looked annoyed at the question.
"Out proselytizing."
Hm... proselytizing. Tea arrived; I lounged, leg crossed, slurping loudly.
He frowned at my vibe, half-listening to Hildeva's report.
Heh. Piss you off, asshole?
Soon we left with papers. Once back downtown, Hildeva burst out laughing.
"See the head priest's face?"
"Yup. Looked like a stud horse dragged off."
"Stud horse?"
Stud teases mares to excite 'em for purebred stallions—yanked away pre-mounting.
Hildeva roared with laughter. I chuckled, but not as hard. I'd glimpsed his robe bulging at the crotch when the door opened.
Thought he just chased money—turns out women too. Worse than expected.
Explains Celereja wandering, crashing anywhere at night. Like with Zamas. Why do these creeps keep showing up here?
Dinnertime, priest crew showed. Sat at fancy round table like entitled.
Head priest cleared throat, greedily scanning hall; young one ogled Della's ass.
Celereja blinked slowly, exhaustion etched on her face.
Head priest beckoned me.
"Strongest liquor here."
Celereja, nodding off, snapped awake.