The Somewhat Mad Saintess (4)
I first checked her appearance for any wounds. Nothing was visibly wrong, so I knelt beside her and pressed my ear to her nose. Her breathing was normal. No smell of alcohol, no injuries—why the hell was she lying out here exposed like this? Did some pickpocket clock her on the head and knock her out? But who in their right mind would dare pull that shit on a holy woman...?
"Hey, Saintess."
I shook her shoulder, but she showed no sign of waking.
"You can't sleep out here. Come on, get up."
"Ugh..."
Soon, the saintess let out a groan and opened her eyes. She propped herself up on the ground with effort, raising her upper body. I asked the bewildered woman, who was looking around in confusion.
"What are you doing out here? Why are you sleeping on the ground? Why not go back to the temple?"
"Hmm... where is this?"
"The street. Did someone hit you?"
Celereja the saintess shook her head vigorously as if trying to clear it, then slowly stood. When I reached out to help her, she smacked my hand away hard. It didn't seem like displeasure—more like an instinctive reaction. As proof, after hitting my hand, she gave me a slightly apologetic look.
But that lasted only a moment. Her face quickly turned icy as she brushed the dust off her clothes.
"What do you want?"
"None of your business."
She walked past me toward the city center. As I stared blankly at her retreating figure, she staggered after a few steps and clutched her forehead. I considered helping, but she started walking steadily again, so I shrugged it off and headed back to the inn.
What the hell was that all about...?
The next day, I tested the statue. With Idwild watching from outside the fence, I opened the gate without a card and stepped inside. The statue's eyes immediately blazed black as it charged at me like a madman. I turned and fled outside the fence, and it stopped right at the boundary, slinging that grotesque club over its shoulder and glaring at me.
I backed up further to put more distance between us, and only then did the statue relax(?) and return to its post. But when I sneaked back toward the fence, it whipped its head around, spotted me, and came charging again.
"Solid performance."
I sent the statue back to its position, locked the gate, and praised it. Idwild wriggled uncomfortably, not knowing what to do. The grass where it stood had withered, but thanks to Della wiping it down weekly with holy sword-infused water, the black magic pollution didn't spread beyond a certain range. No side effects, tireless guard—for a mere ten gold coins. I got damn lucky.
Today, that gloomy black mage looked especially pretty.
During the day, people trickled in after seeing the help wanted posters. Most wanted general servant jobs; a few aimed for head chef. I decided not to hire any chefs. When I tested them with simple dishes, their knife work was sloppy, and they didn't know shit about spices. One guy who could actually cook started lecturing me about kitchen layouts and ingredient storage, so I sent him packing.
For servants, I hired one able-bodied young man and one young woman. But one tried to steal a silver candlestick, and the other got caught peeking at Idi and Della's door while jerking off. I kicked them both out. And that bastard had jizzed all over the employees' doors, but no one wanted to clean it, so I had to scrub it myself. The fucker came buckets.
Inn work doesn't require special skills, so you get weirdos applying. Sorry, Idi and Della, but we'll make do with three for now.
Toward the end of the busy dinner rush, Della burst through the inn door after returning from City Hall, looking for me.
"Master! Come quick! Hurry!"
Della was wildly excited—what big trouble now?—so I hurried after her. She dashed across the courtyard to the stone wall.
"The saintess is here..."
There she was, huddled against the low stone wall. Back to the wall, knees drawn up and hugged tight, face buried in them, not moving an inch. Even as Kali wagged his tail and sniffed her.
"No way... what if she's dead...?"
"Nah, she's not dying suddenly. Hold on."
I gently shook the huddled saintess's shoulder.
"Saintess."
"Oh my!"
Her body slowly tilted sideways and flopped to the ground with a thud. Della freaked out that she was dead, while Kali happily licked her face. I shoved him aside and listened— she was making weird noises.
"Della, quiet."
Up close, it was faint snoring. Ear to her face confirmed it: she was definitely snoring.
What the actual fuck...? Squatting asleep under the inn's wall...?
But now wasn't the time to speculate.
"Della, prepare a guest room. Gotta put her down."
"Y-yes!"
I scooped up the saintess and carried her inside. Idi, clearing tables, saw her and retreated across the hall, her massive tits jiggling.
"Wh-why are you bringing her...?!"
"Don't worry, just keep working. She's asleep."
"Asleep...?"
Upstairs, Della had the door open. I laid the saintess gently on the bed. Della removed her shoes and veil, revealing ash-gray hair spilling out. Still snoring deeply, we covered her with a blanket and left, closing the door.
"What happened? Was she really sleeping out front?"
"Dunno..."
I was as baffled as Della. But she roamed the city late every night, and her face grew gaunter by the day—she clearly wasn't sleeping. Was collapsing on the street before from sleep deprivation too? Fanaticism's one thing, but abusing her body like this for faith... she's fucking nuts.
At dawn, three men came to the inn. Adventurers heading to northern Apenzel on a scholar's commission to map uncharted lands north of the city.
"You shouldn't go that way. Gotta pass through a troll nest."
"How do you know? Been north of Apenzel, boss?"
The soup-slurping adventurers all eyed me.
"Not exactly 'been'—ran into trolls midway and had to turn back."
Strictly speaking, I took a job to wipe out an aggressive troll pack.
"I see. Yeah, we're worried too. Apenzel's synonymous with trolls."
"But the pay's insane—couldn't turn it down."
I pointed to the troll skull: "That's a troll."
"Holy shit... that big...? Hope we don't run into any."
I advised buying cold-weather gear in Lithelm, the direct territory city before Apenzel. Unavailable or ridiculously priced there. They listened eagerly to my other tips, eyes gleaming.
After eating, they wanted rooms. Rest half a day, then head north via Fribourg. Rode through the night from Bue, so the schedule seemed grueling. But unavoidable to reach Apenzel fast.
One climbing the stairs limped oddly. I called him back.
"Twisted my ankle dismounting..." he said sheepishly, scratching his head.
"Come here."
Sat him down, untied his travel boot. Even fully unlaced, it wouldn't come off. When I tugged, he groaned.
"Ow... hurts..."
"Not just a sprain."
Finally yanked it off—ankle swollen huge.
"Looks cracked... you walked on this?"
"Haha... long way to go."
"Keep going, you won't walk at all. Needs treatment."
"But the schedule..."
He glanced at his buddies, hesitating.
"Skip treatment, you might never walk again."
"Damn, what now..."
They dithered, prioritizing the payout. But he'd be done soon.
Suddenly: "Step aside."
Celereja the saintess had appeared behind them, eyeing the ankle. Recognizing her habit, they moved.
"When'd you wake up?"
Ignoring me, she knelt, examining the ankle.
"I'll heal you."
"Ah... yes..."
The man seemed touched by her casually handling his filthy foot. Her hand glowed golden. The adventurers' eyes widened at the warm holy power. As her infused hand caressed the swelling, it visibly receded.
"Ooh..."
They gasped. A saintess tenderly healing a weary adventurer's foot with holy power... like beholding a sacred, solemn artwork. I regretted calling her a mad bitch. Personality aside, a saintess is a saintess.
"Th-thank you..."
Handing back the healed ankle, he teared up. She looked up at him and extended her palm.
"Saintess..."
He grabbed her hand in感動, but she pulled away.
"Twenty silver coins."