The Madwoman's Invitation (10)
"Turn around."
I turned to face the snake-eyed woman standing behind me. Elua met my gaze with her nose held high in arrogance, a sly and venomous smile curling her lips.
"It's been a long time, hasn't it."
"Yeah, Princess. Your eyes are as vicious as ever."
Elua let out a short laugh at my petty jab, unflinching. Her pupils dilated wide, then narrowed to slits. She was a far cry from the one who'd been throwing tantrums half a year ago over me snatching the Holy Sword. What the hell had happened in the meantime? Or maybe it wasn't a change in that short gap—maybe she'd just gotten even worse.
The dead king had told me once: the snake eyes of the royal bloodline were a mutation. They all ended up killing themselves or dying young. Whether it was madness from the inbreeding to preserve the bloodline or a curse from some vile lesser god, no one knew. But one thing was clear—the princess had those snake eyes too, and she wasn't normal. And now, she seemed even less normal than the last time I'd seen her.
"I'm grateful you accepted my invitation. I was worried you might not show."
"Why? If I didn't, you'd just send the Royal Guard to drag me here?"
"The Royal Guard? As if they'd be enough."
With that, Elua flashed a cunning smirk with those eerie snake pupils.
"Looks like you didn't bring that Holy Sword you always keep glued to your side like a lover today."
"Too heavy. And I figured flashing something that pricey around exalted folks like you might make their eyes spin."
"Exalted folks..."
Elua turned to survey the banquet hall with a leisurely yet chilling smile. It was packed with nobles, high officials, major tycoons, and influential figures—the ones who decided the kingdom's direction and wielded massive sway over it. The same ones who'd smile to her face as the future queen and stab knives in her back the moment she turned.
"Exalted folks... I wouldn't know. Their blood doesn't taste like wine, does it? And their guts don't spill gold coins when you gut them."
The Minister of Defense blanched at the princess's words.
"I'm truly curious. What does noble blood taste like?"
Elua turned back to me, pulling her gaze from the hall.
"What does your blood taste like, Balder?"
I stared at her steadily before giving a curt reply.
"Fishy iron."
"I'd love to savor that taste someday."
"Doubt you'll get the chance."
Elua's smile widened, her mouth stretching unnaturally to reveal stark white teeth. A smile that could drive you mad...
"Minister of Defense, you're dismissed."
At her command, the minister let out a tiny sigh of relief—barely audible to me alone—and slunk away.
Now alone with her, Elua kept that serpentine smile as she asked, "I hear you're running an inn these days."
"I told you when I retired. I'm opening an inn. And you already knew that, right?"
"Still, I wanted to hear it from you. What kind of services does your inn offer?"
"What do you care?"
"Who knows? I might end up staying there myself someday."
"Bullshit..."
Undeterred by my curse, Elua pressed on.
"Don't you regret storming out of the royal palace?"
"Not a bit. Business is booming, the staff are great, and it's a blast. Should've quit the hero gig way sooner."
"Staff."
Elua's snake eyes scanned the crowd and locked onto Francois. She stood there alone, looking somewhat dejected.
"Quite the beauty. That kind of staff..."
I cut her off immediately. "Fuck off. Touch a single hair on my employee's head, and this place turns into a flat plain right now."
At my aggressive tone, Elua's pupils widened slightly, her smile fading for a split second. But it was fleeting. She slipped right back into that sly, sinister expression.
"Why do you think I'd do that?"
"I know you're nuts. Obsessive, possessive as hell. Just don't pull that shit on me."
"What 'shit' are you talking about, Balder?"
She asked as if she genuinely had no idea.
"Obvious. Wreck their surroundings, neutralize them until they've got nowhere to turn but you. That's your specialty, isn't it?"
"First time I've heard I have that specialty—from you. Thanks for the tip."
I wanted to spit right in that loathsome face. I even pursed my lips to gather saliva, but Elua called my name.
"Balder."
Her tone was soothing as she caressed her wrist.
"Do you see this?"
I didn't need to look. I knew—the countless scars slashed across her wrist.
"And this."
She pointed to the ugly marks etched on her slender neck with a delicate finger.
"Balder. I've danced on death's doorstep plenty of times. And every time, someone tasted my blood."
Stroking the noose marks, Elua asked with a horrific smile, "What do you think mine tastes like?"
"No clue. But if I had to guess... rotten sewer water?"
"No. Not at all. Fishy iron. Just like yours. Our blood's the same."
I stared at Elua wordlessly. Crazy bitch... She's lost it completely.
Elua held my gaze for a while before speaking.
"I'd like to propose you return to the royal palace."
"Hah."
I let out a hollow laugh. I'd been waiting for that line.
"Why propose that? Nah, shut up. Let me guess."
Elua clamped her mouth shut and tilted her chin up slightly, as if to say, Go ahead, speak.
"You wanna use me to crush your rival factions, right?"
"That's a solid plan."
She laughed as if I'd just come up with the idea for the first time.
"And if I side with Gobert or the Noble Assembly, you'd be in deep shit."
"That'd be the worst nightmare, Balder."
Elua smiled coyly, but it only looked utterly repulsive to me.
"Finally, you wanna lock me up in the palace, keep me by your side."
"Who knows."
She dodged a straight answer with a grin.
"I refuse."
I shot it down flat. No way in hell was I dipping my toe back into that vile, ruthless political snake pit. Let alone becoming this mad bitch's plaything.
"First off, zero interest in politics. Second, too busy with the inn for side gigs."
"I'll restore your rank-one official status, bump your salary fivefold. Attendants, servants if you want..."
"Third. I hate your guts."
Elua fell silent. Her pupils quivered ever so slightly. Those vertical slits widened, almost looking like a normal person's eyes for a moment. Her lips trembled as if words might spill out.
But that was it. She said nothing.
We locked eyes in silence for a beat.
"Nothing else? Fine, my turn to ask."
"Go ahead."
"Did you kill the old man?"
"What makes you think that?"
"No idea. But funny how Alvis Duke 'accidentally' died too."
Elua pulled an exaggerated sad face.
"Such a tragedy. He was poised to lead the Noble Assembly."
"Yeah, why'd you kill him?"
"Got proof I did it, Balder?"
"The perp in a suspicious death is always the one who gains the most."
Her eyes widened sharply, mouth stretching into a grotesque grin.
"Whaaaat? Who could thaaat beee?"
Her face lunged forward, a weird fragrance wafting over. Even if her face skin ripped open right then and a massive snake burst out, it wouldn't surprise me. She was that close, noses nearly touching. I shoved her forehead back with a finger.
"You, Elua. All rivals gone, even the king stepped aside."
"Hng... True. But Balder, you're overlooking something."
Sweet breath escaped her creepy grin.
"Why assume becoming queen benefits meee?"
This snake bitch wouldn't spill the truth no matter how hard I pressed. No surprise there. Getting a confession from her was a pipe dream anyway.
Even if Elua did kill the king, I had no reason to step in and overturn it. I just regretted the old man's death and hoped Elua wouldn't take the throne—but I wasn't about to meddle in the succession.
Time to bail. I was done breathing in this snake's scent while talking.
"Remember what I said. Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me."
"I'll remember, Balder."
Elua replied with that inhuman smile.
I left her behind and stepped out from the pillar. Right away, a noble-looking man approached.
"Ahem. Care to chat? I'm—"
"Fuck off."
Elua had soured my mood, so I snapped at the noble outright. Being back in the palace was bringing out my old hero-days trash talk without me realizing.
The man, stunned by the outburst, just gawked speechless. Over his shoulder, I spotted the Noble Assembly elders eyeing us. This guy was probably their scout, probing who I was.
Fucking annoying nobles. Pissing me off nonstop...
"Sorry. You waited alone too long."
As I approached Francois, she stammered nervously, at a loss.
"Ah... uh... um..."
I was a bit thrown by this unfamiliar side of her—the always poised, elegant Francois.
"What's up? Did those nobles hassle you while I was gone?"
"No... nothing like that..."
Why was she acting like this? Did I leave her alone too long and piss her off? But that wasn't her style.
Then the chamberlain bellowed sternly.
"Attention, everyone!"
I turned to see Elua ascending the dais. She smiled down at the crowd with those chilling snake eyes. Servants bustled about, offering drinks to the guests. With the host on stage, it was time for the toast to kick off the banquet proper.
But even then, another noble approached—this time an elder duke from the Noble Assembly himself.
"A word, sir."
"What?"
The duke glanced at Francois beside me.
"This woman's from House Audrion. We've been tracking her for the Assembly."
Francois shrank back, shoulders hunching. Seeing her usual boldness flipped like this was starting to boil my blood. Sure, I was the one who'd wrecked her territory, but what the hell gave these other noble pricks the right to keep hounding her?
"And who the fuck are you to track her?"
"We need to investigate the mystery attacks on six territories, and the damage to noble dignity..."
"Fuck that noble dignity bullshit."
The duke paused, flustered by my crude response.
"Noble Assembly or whatever, touch Francois and I'll slaughter every last one of you and your families from grand dukes to barons. No exceptions."
"Wh-what the—"
Just then, Elua raised her glass, about to start her toast. I snatched one from a passing servant and hoisted it high, shouting loud.
"It's damn rude, I know, but if the princess permits, might Bertrand Balder give the toast instead!"