Toilet Revolution: The Dawn of Public Restrooms
Wintervalt Ducal Castle, Duke's Office.
The heart of the North thrummed ceaselessly today as always.
"Your Grace, I bring joyous news!"
Knight Captain Sedric began his report with a beaming face.
"Tarkan has safely regained consciousness. The 5,000-strong orc legion we captured alive is obeying Your Grace's commands without issue. Not a single one has rebelled."
Kailan nodded as he took a sip of the warm tea Eleanor had brewed with solar magic. It was expensive black tea imported from the southern continent at great cost—a luxury now possible only because Wintervalt had achieved a black-ink budget.
Kuh. This is the taste. A extravagance I couldn't even dream of back in the red-ink days.
Kailan shot his wife a grateful wink. He didn't care if the retainers saw.
"Good to hear he's conscious. Quite the relief."
The gall of the man, demolishing the entire Wintervalt Barrier single-handedly and then brazenly attempting an unauthorized leave. No villain could top that. Fortunately, he was now undergoing intensive treatment, primed for a solid life as a Wintervalt laborer.
Food costs would add up, but compared to the workforce they'd provide, it was pocket change.
With the orc report neatly wrapped up, Viscount Arzen—who had been waiting at the side—stepped forward with a grave expression. Dark circles hung heavily under his eyes.
"Your Grace... It's a blessing the orcs are complying, but the situation in the new city is far from ideal."
"Hm? Trouble in the Wintervalt New City?"
Viscount Arzen pulled a thick ledger of statistics from his robes, his face ashen.
"The population... has exploded beyond measure. It's nearly quadrupled since completion."
It was only natural. Adventurers and merchants were flooding in from across the continent. And now, with nearly 5,000 orcs joining the mix... chaos was inevitable.
"The city's infrastructure can't keep up with the population boom at all. Sanitation crews are woefully short-handed."
The new city, built with Eleanor's help, was magnificent but still under development. Apparently, the cleaners couldn't keep pace with the mounting filth.
"Tch. Hygiene issues are only going to worsen."
"Just as Your Grace says. Complaints are pouring in about indiscriminate street urination from out-of-towners. Businesses are griping about the stench already, and worst of all... disease rates from poor sanitation have doubled in the last month!"
The mood in the conference room turned somber as Viscount Arzen finished.
"An epidemic would be disastrous."
"If merchants can't stomach the smell and leave... what shall we do, Your Grace?!"
All eyes turned anxiously to Kailan.
Problems arose even when he solved too many. His retainers were utterly convinced he'd work another miracle.
Damn. Disease rates doubled?
Kailan set down his tea, no longer in the mood. His lovely wife had just set up the medical aid society to fatten the territory's coffers. Fail to fix hygiene, and those subsidies would eat it all up.
That wasn't all. If the central commercial district reeked of shit instead of food, shop rights and rents would plummet. Adventurers would bail on the filth, dragging merchants with them.
This could rack up massive losses if mishandled.
And quarantine, relief supplies, medical deployments—these weren't issues a single word from him could auto-resolve. Mountains of approval documents loomed already.
The moment an epidemic hits, we're back in overtime hell.
Kailan's gaze drifted to his wife beside him, diligently noting the minutes with a serious look. Was it his imagination? Her beautiful platinum hair and flawless skin seemed a touch duller than usual.
I can't shove my pretty, loving wife into overtime hell any more than this!
Besides, the day they strolled the new city together and stepped in street shit? Catastrophe.
Decision made, Kailan rapped the table lightly. The room fell deathly silent. All eyes converged.
His retainers sure knew how to listen.
"...The health of the people is paramount."
The Northern Duke's heavy voice echoed through the room—a lord sleepless over his subjects' well-being. Or just a weary man's voice sharpened by looming overtime.
"If the population grows, facilities must scale accordingly. We can't let our people suffer in filth."
The retainers' eyes sparkled. What magic would he wield this time?
Kailan directed Viscount Arzen.
"Viscount Arzen. Mobilize the entire city for large-scale sewer installation immediately. And build public toilets in every densely populated area."
"Th-the entire city, Your Grace? But... digging trenches and laying pipes demands immense labor and manpower...!"
Viscount Arzen gasped mid-sentence. Sedric's eyes bulged beside him.
"No way...!"
Sedric's gaze wandered the air. Laying underground conduits across vast Wintervalt and erecting buildings? No ordinary workforce could manage it. Even thousands of men would take months—a mega-project.
But just recently... 5,000 tireless muscle monsters had fallen under Wintervalt's control.
Overwhelming surplus labor, enough for barrier repairs and city redevelopment!
Did our lord foresee all this?!
Chills ran up Sedric's arms as he rubbed them.
He'd thought the order to capture the orcs alive stemmed from mercy. Wrong. His liege had pierced the hygiene crisis from population boom, the looming epidemic—and secured the perfect workforce to crush it!
"Ahh... Before Your Grace's unfathomable foresight... this old knight kneels once more!"
Sedric wiped tears of emotion. Viscount Arzen sniffled, fist clenched.
"Your command! We'll deploy the 5,000 orc laborers and start flipping the earth tomorrow!!"
Kailan inwardly wondered why're they like this again, but their self-igniting loyalty was hardly a bad thing.
"Good. Carry on."
With the Northern Duke's curt order, the Wintervalt hygiene revolution curtain rose.
Winter blanketed the continent.
Yet Wintervalt—the infamously coldest place—enjoyed a warmer winter than southern resorts.
Thanks to Duchess Eleanor's artificial sun dazzling the night sky.
"Wintervalt New City... what an incredible place."
Aria, the Green Tower Master of the Blue Shade. Despite the orc war's end, she lingered in Wintervalt instead of returning south.
The Northern Duke had proposed an additional commission.
[Help train my wife's magic.]
From the duke himself—the benefactor who'd helped complete the Verdant Heart. She couldn't refuse.
Besides, Aria's scholarly curiosity burned for Eleanor's off-the-charts solar magic. That miraculous power accelerating vine and plant growth beyond reason. Proper study could leapfrog the Green Tower generations ahead.
"Hmm hmm~♪"
Today's fun magic lesson with Eleanor done, Aria strolled the new city streets humming cheerfully.
To think she could strut in a thin robe even in winter.
"And the roads—how are they so flat and smooth? Not a speck of dust from passing carriages."
The slime-gel-and-soil pavement rivaled the central continent's royal roads.
"Hot meat pies! Freshly baked, juice-packed pies!"
"Ooh, smell that bread. Those skewers look delicious too."
Aria wandered like a tourist, buying and munching street food with glee. Two months in, and still enchanted.
Vibrant laughter, spotless streets, proud new blue-tinged buildings. A flawless city, no flaws in sight.
Then, suddenly.
"Urgh... grrrumble."
A sinister rumble from Aria's gut.
"Ah, oh no. My stomach... suddenly..."
Yes! The continent's top plant mage had a dire, secret plight lately.
Constipation.
Her delicate, sensitive nature made her loathe using unfamiliar privy in strange lands.
"Even so... a refined lady like me using someone else's chamber pot? That's just..."
The ducal staff hearing her... the thought gave her goosebumps. Too nerve-wracking to go.
Hence her buying a house in the new city.
Ugh...! Big trouble. My place is too far... Can't borrow a shop's pot. And I can't squat in some bushes!
Aria clutched her belly, waddling hurriedly home.
Passing the shopping district core, she spotted a crowd lining up at a new grand building on a cleared lot.
What's that? New bakery?
Urgent as it was, Aria grabbed a passing merchant.
New eats in Wintervalt New City demanded intel.
"Excuse me. What's that place? Why the huge line?"
"Public... restroom? Something like that."
"Public... restroom?"
Public restroom? First she'd heard of it. Utterly novel.