Hell's Tooth Extraction Show
Comparing the crystal orb readings of normal healthy vitals and arsenic levels with those of the eldest son Logan, Duke Frederick was utterly shocked by the stark results.
The duchess, his mother, and even his second son Oscar—who had conspired with them—were immediately thrown into the underground dungeon.
'I treated my adopted son no differently from my own flesh and blood, yet both my wife and second son turned out like this.'
After the social gathering where all the noble families had visited, I had to stay a few more days at the duke's estate as a witness in this arsenic murder case. Now, with all investigations finally wrapped up, I was packing my bags to leave.
"There you are, Director."
"What brings Young Lord Frederick here?"
"I told you to call me Logan."
Logan entered through the open door, his face much brighter. After this incident, we'd grown even closer. And why not? I was practically his lifesaver.
"Father wishes to see you. He said he has a parting gift before you leave."
"A gift?"
"He's in his study. Shall we go?"
After Grace and Oscar were locked away, I'd already earned a whopping ten thousand gold—an amount equal to a fifth of the debt I still had to repay. All the hardships here melted away like snow, leaving my heart filled with the abundance and peace of a Buddha.
'And now another gift?'
This was the isekai world. No such thing as the Korean tradition of refusing three times before accepting. Reciting more profit for more people in my mind, I followed Logan to Duke Frederick's study.
"Come in, Miner. It's truly regrettable to part with my benefactor."
"Benefactor? I merely did my duty as a doctor."
It was a polite way of saying hand over the gift already, but Duke Frederick continued in a solemn tone, visibly moved.
"Nonsense. I've seen many mages and priests over the years, but none struggled so tirelessly to save lives without demanding compensation like you. During the past few days of investigation, we even uncovered maids and servants complicit with Grace."
The estate had been abuzz even after the social gathering ended—likely because they were rooting out everyone involved in the plot.
"Thus, as lord of Frederik Dungeon Zone, I, Graham Frederick, hereby bestow upon you the title of baron."
"……?"
Wait, the gift was... a title?
Too stunned to speak, I turned to Logan, who accompanied me. He already knew, a faint smile on his face.
"Accept this, the patent proving your title. Baron Miner Gold."
"Congratulations, Baron Gold."
Baron Gold! The unexpected gift brought tears to my eyes.
"I never imagined... thank you so much."
Hehehe, with this, I could escape the endless harassment from those guild bastards. From now on, anyone barking orders to cut my hair whenever they felt like it or throwing their weight around would shut their mouths—or I'd have them all sliced up.
Such thoughts kept a grin plastered on my face.
At Duke Frederick's request, we held a modest celebration banquet. Finally, riding the night sky turtle—my isekai equivalent of a red-eye flight—I arrived back at the Beauty Tower the next morning.
"Resuuu! I missed you so much!"
"Eek! Can't breathe, Cache!"
The moment we dismounted the sky turtle carriage, Cache rushed over and showered Res with kisses.
"Welcome back, Director."
"Everything good, Ravi?"
"Yes! Director! Cleaning's all done, and meals are prepared! You haven't had breakfast yet, right?"
"Not yet. I've got work, so eat first with Res."
Of course, not everyone welcomed me back warmly. The ex-cult Jo family stared at me like I was a boss returned from hell, offering soulless greetings.
"Anyway, good to see you all after so long. George, Jonathan."
"Yes, sir!"
"Gifts are packed in the carriage—take them to the staff lounge. Josephine, Joy."
"Yes!"
"You two park the sky turtle on sublevel 2. Feed it, groom it, maintain it—rotate among the four of you."
"Four...? Who do you mean...?"
Josephine was already catching on after just a few weeks apart. Who do you think? She must've forgotten how much I despised the Jo lackeys.
"Correction. George, Joy, Jonathan handle the gifts. Josephine does the parking and all care alone. That's it."
"W-Wait, Director!"
"I'm heading to the Ling Office. Eat without me."
And today, of all days, was October 25th by the Ailene calendar—Monday. Tax payment day. Bleh.
'Think positive. I'm a baron now.'
Before leaving Duke Frederick's estate, he'd told me to visit the Ling Office to register the patent and officially become nobility. I was itching to rub it in that vicious Rachel's face—not out of spite, but pride—then hurry back to the Beauty Tower to brag.
But.
"What? Baron registration tax? You're... serious?"
"Line's backing up. Don't make me repeat myself."
Her unexpected response made my head spin. And it wasn't just that.
"But the Dungeon Zone Special Law exempts income tax, right? What's this nobility tax?"
"Even if it's a speck of land, registering as a baron changes the area around Beauty Tower to Baron Gold Territory. No more protection under the Dungeon Zone Special Law."
"Ugh... How much is the nobility tax?"
"Half a percent of annual revenue. You're not saying that's too much, are you?"
I knew it, but still. The best perk of the dungeon zone was income tax exemption.
'Hell... this is hell.'
Far from the perks I imagined with nobility, the taxes were piling up higher. It felt like a noose tightening.
"No one's forcing you. Don't want to be noble? Skip it. First time I've heard of someone too broke for a title."
Rachel's mocking words from the Ling Office clerk ignited volcanic fury. But I had no choice.
"Here."
"Receipt?"
"No need."
In the end, I shelled out two hundred gold for the baron registration tax.
"Haa... Bunch of damn robbers."
Death and taxes were inevitable, but this tax bomb had me fuming. To cool off, I walked back to Beauty Tower instead of taking a carriage, trudging along. The grand plaza was already rowdy in broad daylight.
"Eolssigu-sigu, gonna pull it out! Eolssigu-sigu, gonna pull it out! The tooth puller from three years ago is back, folks who didn't die last time! Give him a hand!"
A makeshift stage on one side of the plaza—they were gearing up for a full show.
'...Tooth puller? As in, extracts teeth?'
No time for deep thought as crowds surged toward the stage.
"Wow, it's been ages! Son, go home and fetch Dad!"
"Nooo! I don't wanna get mine pulled!"
"You will! When else you gonna do it?"
"Honey, let's get ours pulled. Your mouth stinks."
"Yeah? Guess you need one too."
"Hohoho, hope you've got teeth to pull."
From the crowd's chatter, it was definitely a tooth-pulling show. But in the middle of the dusty grand plaza, with people, horses, carriages kicking up dirt? Was this a joke or what? No medical bed, no tools—just a tooth puller in a tux and a magician's tall hat on a high stage that screamed circus.
'...And what are those guys doing?'
Left of the stage: two men wildly piping away. Right: two juggling balls. Less medical procedure, more freak show.
"Ahem! People of Frederik Dungeon Zone! After three years roaming the continent honing my skills!"
The man center stage paused dramatically, wriggling like a mollusk to draw eyes.
"I am the tooth puller, Clementine!"
"Woooah!"
"Clementine! Clementine!"
"Pretty teeth!"
He whipped off his tall black hat, unleashing a flock of pigeons. The crowd chanted his name in ecstasy.
'What a bizarre spectacle.'
I pulled out my crystal orb and called Walter immediately.
I hung up and squeezed into a remaining seat in the plaza. I could've just walked by. But tooth-pulling was undeniably medical practice. Not that I was venting my tax rage—nope. Not a dentist myself, but some instinctual pull from professional unease kept my eyes glued to Clementine, who danced wildly amid pipers and acrobats, nearly dislocating his shoulders.
"Alright~ Folks of the territory! Ready to get pulled?!"
"No!!"
"Not ready? Whyever not?! Don't tell me? You Frederik Dungeon Zone folks want free trials?!"
"Yes!!"
He looked like a doljanchi MC—my mind reeled. But the vibe screamed he was about to do something real, forcing me to focus on the tooth show.
"Well thennn! If you all crave free trials, who am I to deny?!"
Flutter—whoosh. Clementine leaped down, yanking off a cloth cover. Beneath: narrow jars about forearm height.
Fwoosh—crackle—
He stuffed straw and something into the jars and lit them up.
"Here we gooo! The free trial you've all been craving! You don't still believe the Black Moon priests' nonsense about tooth ghosts causing pain, right?!"
"No way! Black Moon scammers!"
"No such thing as tooth ghosts!"
Riding the crowd's fervor, Clementine bounced around the stage in goofy poses.
"Exactly! Tooth pain, ache, throb—only one reason!"
"Tooth worms!!"
"Spot onnn! Before the real pulling, inhale this free smoke to drive out tooth worms! Let's begin~!"
And so the hellish tooth extraction show that made my head spin truly began.