Chapter 5
Arrogant little shit hell has unfolded right here in the park—an arrogant little shit hell.
"Hehe, mister♥ Even a tiny kid like me beats you♥"
"Loser♥ Pathetic loser hanging out in the park in broad daylight with nothing better to do♥ Unemployed bum♥ Incompetent failure♥"
My army of arrogant little shits scatters throughout the park, swinging verbal knives at everyone they see. Two or three of them gang up on a single person, mercilessly taunting without mercy.
"Loser♥ Virgin-stinking single mom♥ Total loser♥"
"Idiot♥ Moron♥ Total nerd♥ Evolutionary reject bitch♥"
"Tiny tits too♥ Gum-drop boobs♥ Cliff chest♥"
True linguistic terrorism. A royal knuckle flick made of words! The people can't say a thing back to my arrogant little shit legion's provocations—they just tremble in silence!
"Grghhh... I want that arrogant little shit knuckle flick so bad...!"
"I wanna discipline 'em...!"
And the emotional energy bursting from them flows straight to me, filling up the storage tank. Emotional energy is the power intelligent beings emit when they feel joy, sadness, anger, pleasure—any strong emotion. The more intense the feeling, the stronger the energy leaks out from their bodies. That's what us Darknis folks collect...
...collect it to... uh...
"Hmm, what was it again?"
Doctor told me for sure, but I can't remember. Something about converting it to magic power, then boiling water...? And using that to spin some turbine or whatever. Pfft. Doctor's such an idiot. If you're boiling water, a gas stove works fine. Why bother collecting emotional energy? And boiling water to make electricity? What a lame idea. Boiling water makes electricity? Doctor's gotta be dumb. You'd get zapped every time you ate ramen♥ Tongue going all tingly♥ Science-illiterate idiot Doctor♥ Wage thief♥ Poor me, slaving away for her impossible lame plan. But oh well, can't be helped. Gotta let Doctor eat♥ Idiot Doctor♥ Lame Doctor♥ Can't even use a gas stove, moron♥
"Ahh, the tank's filling up with emotional energy♥ Getting cussed out by a little kid like me♥ Trembling in rage but powerless to do shit♥ Poor pathetic adults♥"
"Grrrrghhh...!"
The tank fills noticeably faster from the wide-area taunt. Nice! At this rate, I'll hit today's quota in no time.
"Come on, almost to target♥ Let's go, let's go♥ Pump out that energy, loser aunties♥"
"Just one knuckle flick... Just once..."
"But this kid's clearly a minor... No way... Hit a minor and I'll get canceled on SNS... Roasted as a child beater... My whole life ruined...!"
"Lmao wtf is this kid a minor??? Pissing me off this bad but if he's underage how you gonna comp my baby bottle for the milk I wasted lmaoooo"
Watching the tank fill to the brim sparks a sudden curiosity. Emotional energy's just pure power—you can't tell what exact emotion produced it. You can only guess the intensity from the total amount. With this much super-strong energy piling up, what are these losers feeling? Surrounded by my identical arrogant little shits, probably terror. Shaking in fear at my greatness. Pathetic losers♥
"Loser♥ Loser♥ Loser♥"
The endless taunts from countless arrogant little shits, and the people taking it helplessly. If that famous Greek poet and philosopher Confucius saw this, he'd tremble and say:
—Terrifying!
Deep in my profound, philosophical thoughts, Lion looks up at the sky like a chuunibyou edgelord.
"Be careful. It's coming from the sky."
"What? Rain?"
No sooner do the words leave my mouth than something red like a meteor plummets from above. Wind pressure scatters leaves and rolls pebbles. Dust clouds the impact site.
"What the hell is that...? Never seen a magical girl like her...!"
Dust hasn't even cleared, and Lion's already chuuni-losing it♥ But I get why she's on guard. My senses—sharper and stronger than Lion's—tell me this magical girl ain't normal. No way it's Chae Sua?
A figure emerges through the dust cloud. Her red coat flutters in the wind, black leather steampunk corset hugging her body with a dark sheen. Golden hair gleams untarnished by the yellow haze, sparkling like it holds the sunlight.
"Magical girl... a magical girl!"
"Save us, magical girl!"
"This is hell! Bratty little shit hell!"
The hostages surrounded by arrogant little shits cheer. You losers couldn't do jack against the brats, and now you think one Chae Sua saves you?
"Magical Girl More Red. Making my entrance."
More Red, huh. Her magical girl name, I guess. Heard some use aliases to hide their identities. But that's a magical girl? What magical girl drops in from a dust cloud wearing steampunk leather?!
"Hmph, not bad entrance for a loser."
"Tyranno? Why's Tyranno here...?"
No surprise Chae Sua's rattled. She expected small-fry villains, not a big shot like me plopped right there.
"Hehe. Didn't even tell you my name—how'd you know? Stalking me? Pfft! Can't even ask a guy's name, pathetic virgin♥"
"Grr, that arrogant little shit... I'll teach him a lesson someday...!"
"Can't hear a word♥"
Fine by me. Chae Sua showing up is perfect. Tank's full anyway. Time to snag my whip back and bounce.
"Tyranno. Release the civilians!"
Wonder how long that smug face lasts♥
"Hey, loser! Reason I'm here today? You."
"Me?"
"Yeah! To take back the whip you stole! Hand it over!"
Demands her rights so boldly.
"Hand over what?"
Ha, does this loser need it spelled out?
"My whip!"
"Oh, that. You want the whip I took from you back?"
"Yeah, you loser!"
"Why?"
Eh?
"We're enemies, right? You're a villain. I'm a magical girl. And you want your whip back? Why?"
Eh eh?
"You dumb?"
D-dumb? Me? Calling me dumb? Chae Sua dares call me dumb? Didn't see that coming. Chae Sua refusing to return my whip? It's mine—my right as Tyranno to take it back. And a mere magical girl like her defying a terrifying, vicious villain like me? How? By being stronger? Charismatic? Cute or cool? Sure, Chae Sua ain't ugly, but compared to me? Not even fit to wipe my feet, total loser. Impossible. Totally impossible!
But it happened. Can't wrap my head around it. What...? ...Ah! That's it! Truth hits me—I can't hide my pity for Chae Sua. She's just super dumb. Doesn't even realize I'm way superior, ignores me 'cause of it. Or maybe denying reality in her head. Poor thing. Didn't know she was that stupid. Guess I gotta teach her body the fear of me.
"Go, my arrogant little shit legion! Show that magical girl the terror of this body!"
On my command, the legion neatly surrounds Chae Sua.
"Hehe, loser auntie came to catch us♥"
"Standing before us losers♥ Hilarious♥"
"What's with the leather outfit♥ Pervert♥ Exhibitionist♥"
And the approaching legion unleashes verbal hell! Even Chae Sua can't withstand this!
"Whoa... If there're this many, one disappearing wouldn't hurt..."
Unlike my expectation of her collapsing in piss-soaked terror, Chae Sua just stands there mumbling.
Too scared speechless, huh.
"Finish her! Let the magical girl know my terror!"
"Looo~ser♥ Loo~ser♥ Surrounded by arrogant little shits and can't do shit loo~ser♥ Nerd♥ Idiot♥"
"Wasted on those huge pointless tits, loser♥ Give 'em to a frog if you're not using 'em♥"
"Hehehe, speechless loser♥ What's wrong♥ Scared mute♥ Gotcha♥"
"Losing to arrogant little shits, loser bitch♥ Premature loser bitch♥ Go home and fap to your defeat, kay♥"
—Flick!
Chae Sua knuckle-flicks one. Chae Sua knuckle-flicks one!
"Waaaahhh~~~ She flicked, she flicked meee! Owaaaah!"
The flicked arrogant little shit crumples. Me and the whole legion go silent. F-flicking an arrogant little shit?!
"Wahhh! Run awaaay!"
"Magical girl who flicks brats! Ruuun!"
"Hiii! Stooop! Nooo! Hate flicks! Noooo!"
"Sorryyy! Won't tease aunties anymoreee!"
One flees, panic spreads—the legion scatters, shielding their heads.
"Hey! You losers! Where you going! Come back, losers!"
But knuckle flicks trump my orders—they fully disperse. Gah, those losers! Flick hurts and scares, sure, but scattering this easy? Modeled after me, but still just robots. Losers are losers, huh.
"Hah, hmph. No choice. I'll handle you myself!"
Asking nicely for my stuff back failed. Plan to reassert dominance via legion ruined by lame brats.
"Phew, couldn't hold back anymore. But one flick felt goooood. Next up, you, Tyranno."
"Eek!"
No. Don't freak. She's just a loser. Total loser!
Chae Sua approaches slowly. One step. Another. Up close, details sharpen: cheeks flushed red even on tanned skin. Breath growing ragged. Body twitching like holding something back.
I'm geared for battle. Pump energy into Tyrannosaurus Suit everywhere. Igniter hot, ready to spew fire. Come on, Chae Sua. Bring it!
She stops right in front of me. Height difference puts her huge pointless brown tits at eye level. Look up—backlight hides her face as she looms.
"Damn, up close it's even hotter..."
Hotter? Uh, probably means scary or intimidating-ish.
"Last chance, Chae Sua. Hand over my whip. Or taste the terror of this mighty Tyrannosaurus Suit."
"What if I don't wanna?"
Kicks away my final warning. Pity, Chae Sua. Your life's biggest—and last—mistake. No more words. Just vicious violence!
"Take this! Tyranno headbutt!"
Suit's steel dino head slams her face! Bones shattered for sure?
"Ow, what? Doesn't even hurt."
"Wh-what?!"
Why's Chae Sua fine?!
"Tyranno headbutt! Tyranno headbutt! Tyranno headbutt!"
Triple headbutt—even pineapple'd mush! But no broken bones, no nosebleed. Impossible!
"Tyranno fire breath!"
Suit mouth gapes, red flames scorch her face. Test run boiled ramen-level firepower. Flames lick her, but not a singed eyebrow. How?! Am I dreaming? Hypnotized? No way! Impossible!
"Who gave a kid a toy like this?"
Toy?! My attacks are toys? Lame-ass calling me a kid?!
"Th-thisss!"
For ultimate Tyranno bite, jagged teeth mouth opens—then Chae Sua moves.
"Enough, Tyranno."
One hand clamps suit mouth shut, other grips dino arm—my wrist—tight.
"Ow, ah, it huuurts..."
Grip crushes dino arm, pain shoots to wrist. Wait, was Chae Sua always this tall? This strong? Just wrist grabbed, why she look so huge, lame-ass?!
"Stooop... It huuurts..."
Was Chae Sua ever... this scary?
"Fuck, so damn hot..."
Her other hand reaches out. I flinch, eyes shut.
"Knock it off."
And Lion's words halt Chae Sua.