Chapter 22
A few days passed after revising our outdoor plan. Lion and I grabbed only some simple self-defense weapons and opened a dimensional gate to descend to Earth. Instead of the park that's popular for opening gates, we chose a dimly lit alleyway where hardly anyone passes by. The goal of this mission isn't just any emotional energy—it's collecting a specific emotion, so there's no need to take hostages or pick a big fight with magical girls and blow everything out of proportion.
People usually open gates in parks because there are crowds even during the day, plenty of space to battle magical girls, and even if facilities shut down, it's not a huge deal. But none of that's necessary for us today. I heard someone once opened a gate at a construction site instead of a park and got beaten black and blue by the day laborers whose rare break time got ruined by the villain.
"Hmm, looks like no one's around, so we probably didn't get spotted by other magical girls," Lion said after scouting the area. Luckily, no pack of magical girls swarmed us the moment we arrived.
"That's 'cause we picked a shady alley no one comes to on purpose♥ Let's hurry to where people are. Gotta blast through this loser mission in a flash♥"
For a downtown alley, it's all twisty-turny, so it might take a bit to find our way out. Lion and I trudge along the empty backstreets.
"Ugh, no matter how I think about it, I just don't get it."
"What's not to get? I explained it all—did you forget already?"
"My brilliant brain wouldn't forget something like that. Don't lump me in with a total loser mangy cat's goldfish memory♥"
All I gotta do is wear this watch and unleash indiscriminate loser barrages on losers. I picture myself in a massive bomber plane in my head, dropping bombs labeled loser♥.
-Hyah ha! Crush all you weak losers!
-Eek! The pathetic losers can only tremble before my overwhelming mesugaki bombardment!
No, that's not it. I shake my head to clear out the random thoughts.
"What I'm saying is, why desire to discipline mesugaki of all emotions?"
"What's wrong with desire to discipline?"
"There are tons of other emotions. Like longing for this great Tyranno, or jealousy, or awe at my nobility. Wouldn't those collect way more? But why discipline specifically?"
Discipline sounds totally uncool.
"You must not get it. The only reason you haven't gotten disciplined all this time is thanks to the whip absorbing that discipline desire."
"What does that even mean? I've never gotten a knuckle flick 'cause this Tyranno is just that awesome."
"The moment someone decides to hit you, the whip absorbs it... Ugh, whatever. Talking's just gonna hurt my mouth. I'll let it go."
"See? You're dodging 'cause you don't get it yourself♥ Hurts your pea-brain more than your mouth, huh♥ Dummy♥"
As we're bantering back and forth, I spot a little girl who looks kinda young walking ahead in the distance.
"Hehe. First loser target spotted♥ I'll be right back, Lion♥"
"A kid might be a bit much..."
Whatever Lion says, I've already locked onto that kid as target number one. Teasing a little squirt like her is child's play. Gonna bully her till she bawls her eyes out♥
I sneak up behind the kid as she walks away, then whisper right in her ear.
"Lo~ser♥"
"Eek!"
The kid jumps in fright and whips around. She's your average kid you see anywhere, but pretty cute, so she'll be fun to mess with.
"W-Who are you?"
The kid's face flushes red. Must be super embarrassed. Well, duh—having a beautiful adult like me whisper in her ear? Falling in love is only natural. She should be grateful this Tyranno is her first crush forever♥
"Eek! S-Stop, eek! Even your screams are total loser♥ Loser kiddo♥"
The kid bristles at the sudden loser insult and fires back. Got some pride, huh?
"No way! I'm not a loser!"
"No way♥ I'm not a loser♥"
"Stop copying me!"
"Stop copying me♥"
"I said stop!"
"I said stop♥"
I twist my pronunciation all weird to mimic her, and sure enough, the watch hands twitch as the emotion gauge fills up. At this rate, it'll be full in under an hour.
"What are you?! Why're you suddenly picking on me?!"
Huh? This loser pointing her finger at me? Time for a proper scolding.
"Me? I'm an evil villain who gobbles up little kids like you!"
Chomp! I bite down on her tiny finger. Of course, I don't bite hard enough to draw blood—that'd make her scream bloody murder and attract attention. Instead, I gum it softly with my lips.
"Gotta melt a kid like you in saliva and eat you up♥"
Saliva's a bit acidic, right? If I keep her finger in my mouth long enough, will it dissolve? Even if not, it'll get all pruny like after swimming.
"Uwaw... u... ah..."
Watching her tremble gets my sadistic side squirming.
"Now time to lick ya till you melt♥ Lick lick♥"
"Nngooh... my fingeeer..."
Her face turns beet red seeing her finger melting in what she thinks is acidic death—like a ripe tomato.
"Scream for help why don'tcha♥ No one's coming♥ No one's gonna save you♥"
"Waaah... ughook..."
"Gonna suck ya like ice cream till you melt♥ Slurp slurp♥"
"F-Fuck... so hot..."
Hot? I pull her finger out. A long, clear string stretches between it and my mouth before snapping. I lean in close and whisper in her ear.
"You think I'm hot?♥ Total exposed ero kiddo♥ Go grow some height first♥"
I smirk mockingly and pat her head.
"Ughghh...!"
Her face goes from red to crimson. Poke poke poke. Haha, seriously. Messing with someone way weaker is always a blast.
"Boop."
I flick her forehead, and she flops to the ground like a puppet with cut strings.
"Not interested in a kid like you♥ Go eat a hundred bowls of rice cake soup first♥ Su~per lo~ser♥"
I leave the pathetic kid behind and keep walking. Check the watch—the gauge is pretty full.
"Aw, that poor kid."
Lion's caught up behind me, chattering away.
"You know what you just did, right?"
Hmph, who cares about some kid. It was fun bullying her once—that's all that matters. Why should I care?
"You just gave her a lifelong trauma."
Watching her finger slowly dissolve alive must've been horrifying. Stuff you experience at that age shapes your adult self big time. In a deserted back alley, attacked by this Tyranno and hit with acid on her finger... She probably won't step into alleys again, or maybe she'll be so scared of acid she can't eat sour food.
"Can't even drink sour soda? She's doomed to be a total wreck as an adult♥"
If I run into her later, I'll squirt lemon juice on her and tease♥
"Still not getting it. That kid's gonna be aroused only by mesugaki from now on. Poor thing. Tsk tsk tsk."
After that, we stuck to empty back alleys, bombarding every person we saw with mesugaki teasing. Teased a jobless bum wandering around in broad daylight.
-Loser bum♥ All you're good for is wasting oxygen♥ If you're gonna live like that, just end your loser life already♥
Or a salaryman shuffling along in his suit, all drained.
-Squid-limp auntie♥ You look like a squid too♥ Bet you get every insult under the sun at work♥ Quit if that's all you got♥
Or provoked a convenience store clerk.
-Loser who can only beep barcodes♥
Teasing random folks like that, the sky's already darkening before we know it. Being near mountains makes the sun set fast, and the narrow alley—barely wide enough for one car—glows under orange streetlights.
"Hmm. Not as much as I thought."
"Yeah. Figured it'd fill quick, but the capacity's bigger than expected."
The watch gauge is at about 80%. Doctor said fill to 90, so we need 10 more. Where the heck from? This alley's deserted even at night—barely any people. Just flickering orange lamps and sagging power lines like spiderwebs.
"Head to a crowded spot? But that's far... Wanna wrap this up quick and go home. What to do?"
Ugh, tough call. Sit here waiting for someone? Or hunt elsewhere even if it takes time?
While pondering at the fork, Lion shivers.
"Ah. Be right back."
"Where to?"
"Gonna pick some flowers."
Then she slips into a nearby building's back door. Watching her butt as she goes through the slightly open door cracks me up.
"Pfft! She really thinks she's human."
Cats should use litter boxes. Lately, Lion's been acting all human. Used to eat straight from the bowl, now grabs fork and knife. Searches computers for human clothes she can't even wear. Even prefers human toilets over her cat litter.
Thinks she's people now.
"Loser cat as a human? Pfft!"
If a loser cat turned human, it'd be a tiny shrimp half my height, right?
Imagining Lion's human mode, I spot someone approaching from afar.
"Jackpot! Final prey♥"
It's late, my legs ache from walking all day. Gonna suck this one dry for the last 10% and toy with 'em till they beg for mercy♥ Her silhouette's barely visible outside the streetlight. Taller than me, curvy figure from afar—but human all the same. No way she beats this Tyranno.
"Hehe♥ What're you doing out this late, loser♥ Everyone else is having fun with friends♥ No friends? Total lonerloser♥ Cackle cackle♥"
"Huh?"
The loser hit by my mesugaki ambush speaks—and the voice sounds familiar. Wait, hold up. I know this voice from somewhere...
This voice couldn't be...
"Tyranno?"
The owner of the voice runs over. I spin to bolt, but her tanned grip snags my wrist.
"Whoa, it's loser Chae Sua♥ Grabbing so rough? Don't make it obvious♥"
Not obvious, but whatever.
"Ah, sorry."
Chae Sua lets go of my hand. I play it cool on the outside, but inside? Total panic. Why? Why her of all people? Why is Chae Sua here? Korea's got like 50 million people! Odds of bumping into exactly her—one person—in a deserted back alley? This is rigged! The goddess of luck must hate this Tyranno!
"But what're you doing here? Why the badmouthing? Part of Darkness activities?"
Darkness activities? Right. Actually, running into Chae Sua isn't bad—might even be good. Magical girls emit way stronger emotions than normals. One could fill the gauge we slaved over. I'm not doing anything wrong. Just some mesugaki insults. Even Chae Sua can't beat me up for that, right?
"I told you to call when you come to Earth."
Oh yeah. Forgot. When I come to Earth, there should be spotlights and a red carpet, but those clueless humans didn't prepare, so Chae Sua offered to stand in. That's why I even bought the phone—totally slipped my mind.
"Do I gotta call every time I go somewhere? That's total stalker obsession♥ You know I'll report you for stalking and ruin your life♥"
"H-Hey. Sorry about that time."
That time? Wasn't her first stalking gig? But she looks genuinely flustered, so maybe not.
"...Aha."
Oh, "that time" isn't the stalking—it's when she jumped me.
"Heh heh heh."
My lips curl up. Perfect. Time to tease her and fill the gauge.
"That time? Which one♥ Oh, you mean raping a weak, fragile guy like me♥?"
"Ugh, that was..."
"Nailed it♥ Can't even talk straight♥ Ironclad proof♥"
Chae Sua's eyes shake wildly.
"When I report it, I won't just say rape♥ Gonna blow it up huge♥ Say you made me do all sorts of pervy play♥"
"Pervy play? What play?"
Uh... didn't expect specifics. What counts as pervy? We're outside, so exhibitionism?
"Outdoor exposure or whatever?"
"Outdoor exposure? You're gonna tell the cops I forced that pervy play on you?"
"Yeah, dummy♥ Getting it now♥ Cobwebs in your ears or what♥ I punch in a few numbers, and Chae Sua's life is over♥"
"Report to the cops. Sure. But check this out."
Chae Sua holds up her phone, showing me a photo.
"Huh?"
It's from the day after she jumped me—the "blackmail nude" pic she tried to take of herself but accidentally snapped my grinning face instead. I'm beaming, thinking I had her blackmail material, with blatant post-sex marks all over my face.
"W-Why do you have that... Thought you deleted it..."
My hand shakes involuntarily.
"Why would I delete such a hot pic?"
"G-Give it!"
I lunge for the phone, but she dodges easily.
"Does that look like the face of someone forced? Huh? Looks like you're snapping an angry selfie?"
"N-No, that's..."
Chae Sua grins like a devil.
"Wonder what happens if I spread this around?"
Spread that pic? I'd die of embarrassment!
"Ah... please... not that..."
"Don't want it spreading? Then do what I say."
Her strong hand grabs my chin, then trails down to my crotch.
"Take off your pants."