19. Key Grab Failure Chicken, Running.
"Haaah... haaah...!"
I'm running for my life, lungs screaming like 'No more running, you loser! We're on strike!' Heart on the verge of passing out yelling 'Stop running already, you pathetic loser!' But I keep going. Better to drop dead than get caught by those perverts!
"Hiiik... hiiik... huuuuh...!"
My perfect, powerful body boasts stamina way beyond any other villain's, but after sprinting this long, I'm about to keel over. "Haaah... haaah... where the hell is this?!"
I know the Darkness layout inside out, but this corridor blaring red sirens, flashing crimson lights everywhere—it's chaos. I eat and sleep here every day, yet this path is totally new. Still, gotta run! If I wanna live, keep running!
"No, stay backkkk...!"
Glance behind—eyes bloodshot pervert loser aunties shambling after me like zombies. "Mesugaki! Mesugaki! Mesugaki!" "Proper education! Proper education! Proper education!"
Crazy losers chanting those two words, hot on my tail! Gonna lose my mind gonna lose my mind gonna lose my mind! "You losers, know your placeee!"
Keep going, further, faster! If those wild-eyed losers catch me, who knows what'll happen! My brilliant brain can picture it all too vividly.
-Nooooo! Smooch slurp right in my diiiick!
-A mesugaki like you needs proper education with this!
-Ughhhh! Lion heeeelp!
"Eek! No way, haaah, not gonna, haaah, let that happen!" Shake my head to banish the horrific images creeping in.
If a smart, pretty, handsome Tyranno-sama like me gets nabbed by brain-dead zombie losers, it'd be a loss for the whole planet—no, the universe!
"Ah! There it is!"
Finally! The safety room built for magical girl invasions. Lock myself in, and I'm safe. Got months of food and water, comms to HQ—send a rescue signal, and special forces will come save Tyranno-sama!
"Special forces show up, and those losers are toast!"
Darkness won't let its world treasure get nabbed by those loser aunties! Dash over, yank open the door. It's so thick and sturdy, tough to budge, but reassuring.
"Nngh, this is the kinda steel door Tyranno-sama needs for safety!"
"Mesugaki! Proper education! Mesugaki! Proper education!"
"Eek!" Pervert losers right on my heels! Squeeze out every last drop of strength to slam it shut. "Close alreadyyy!"
-Boom!
Made it before they pounced. Door seals, and like zombie flicks, pervert aunties pound the steel—bang bang bang!
"Hehe, losers♥ Pound all you want, this door ain't budging♥"
Stick my tongue out at the idiots on the other side. "Huu. Safe at last."
Relief hits—my body and dick are secure. Tension melts away. Stumble on wobbly legs to the plush bed and flop down.
"Ugh! What a pain! How'd this even happen?!"
Should request rescue from HQ first... but need a quick breather. Stretch out, relax—then a noise from the safety room bathroom.
"Wh-what? One of the pervert aunties?"
Grip a pillow tight, ready to swing. "Come at me, and I'll bash you with this!"
Door opens—a woman I've never seen steps out. "Huh? Tyranno?"
Cascading black hair. Breasts not huge, but perfect proportions—would rock any outfit. "Lion?"
Stranger, but somehow I know it's her. That unique speech pattern?
"That's me. What're you doing here?"
"All the Darkness losers went nuts. Haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
Too lazy to explain—flip on the TV, any news channel. They're all covering the same crap anyway.
The culprit behind Darkness turning into this mess shows up on the news.
What the hell is the country thinking?! Only one fix: Tyranno-sama becomes president.
"Mesugaki rape legalization? What the fuck?"
"Tell me about it."
Kill the disgusting news, flop back on the bed. Mnya, ran right after waking up—sleepy now.
"Loser kitty. Send a rescue request to HQ for me. I'm beat."
"........."
"Loser kitty?"
Lion climbs onto my bed instead of answering. "Kitty?"
Uh-oh. Her eyes on me look dangerous.
"If it's legal... no reason to hold back anymore."
"Eek!" She pounces with fluid grace!
"I liked you first... I did first... won't give you to some blonde thug like Chae Sua."
"Huuuh?" Lion's attacking me? No way she'd do something this rough.
Lips crash—then it hits me. Total dream, duh.
"Huuuuaaaawn... wah, jump scare!"
Snap awake—huge Lion face right there. Jerk up in shock, foreheads smack.
"Ow!"
"Ouch! What the hell, Lion! Scared me first thing in the morning!"
My noble forehead's red now!
"What morning? Sun's high noon already."
Check the wall clock—not morning, dinner time. "Huh? Really?"
Brain fog clears. Right, wandered all night, crashed at dawn. Overslept hard.
"But what were you doing there? Gave me a fright. Waking to your flat-face loser kitty mug."
Hehe♥ No way you were staring at my sleeping face the whole time♥ "Even if I'm gorgeous, that's too much♥"
"What nonsense."
Huh? Lion's colder than usual. She usually brushes off my teasing, but not this icy.
Something bugging her? Won't meet my eyes, paces the bed. Back turned, but deep in thought.
Finally speaks. "Tyranno. Where were you last night?"
Turns, golden eyes lock on—scarier than ever. Lion-like, sure, but never this fierce. Just now, pure predator glare—like a docu lion eyeing prey it won't let escape.
"Ugh, why the death stare? Scary."
Did she find out I snuck to Earth? Pissed about that? Nah, slipped out without seeing Doctor, Lion, or anyone.
"Asking again. Where."
Her killer eyes shatter my hopes. Busted 100%. And too mad for cuteness to fix. No point resisting—time to apologize straight up.
Been punished enough to know: play dumb, get it worse. Own it.
"Snuck to Earth last night... sorry."
Hang my head. "That's it?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing else?"
Beastly glare presses. Spill other secrets? Like meeting Chae Sua, buying phone? "N-no other... stuff..."
Her stare's terrifying—almost spilled, but hold back. Confess more, lose the phone I just got! The humiliation from Chae Sua to get it!
Can't lose the phone. Defend it at all costs. Play dumb.
"H-huh? Nah? Just a walk."
Act clueless. Total innocent stroll. No Chae Sua assault, no phone. Ignorance is bliss.
"Yeah? Hmph, got it."
Phew, loser kitty doesn't know more—no further grilling. Nailed the deception. My acting's top-tier. Fooled sharp Lion completely.
Earth trip means scolding, but phone safe—profit! Giggle giggle, dumb loser kitty♥ Knows nothing♥
"A-anyway, Lion. As apology, dinner's on me tonight. Something yummy?"
Change topic quick. "Heard the cafeteria added a new menu—chef's special chicken skewers, not regular chicken, native chickens raised on Jirisan. Rumor is they stole it from some hardworking farmer. Limited time!"
Name's hilarious: Key Grab Failure Chicken.
"Key Grab Failure Chicken... sounds good. Let's go."
Her face seems mad... sad? But topic shifted—win. Keep her distracted.
Hmm, convo topics? Recall that YouTube vid: 'Anyone Can Master Conversation ~Mesugaki Edition~'
"Can't even chat, loser♥ Giving you a pro tip♥
Stretching one topic into a convo? That's how you become an in-crowd mesugaki♥ Too hard for a loser like you♥"
Humiliating hearing mesugaki tips, but one time try. Topic: dinner we're heading to.
"Key Grab Failure Chicken♥ Name alone screams total loser♥ Failed at grabbing the key? Total idiot♥"
"Yeah. Pretty dumb."
She's engaging bit by bit! Plan perfect!
"Had it right there♥ But looked away, some stranger snatches it—
bon appétit on the native chicken skewer♥ Thanks for the hard work raising tribute chicken for me♥"
"Exactly. Don't look away."
"Right?♥ Total loser♥ Idiot♥ Moron♥ I'll devour that Jirisan native chicken you slaved over♥ Good job♥"
"Slaved over and..."
"Shoulda eaten it first♥ Duuumb♥ King of dumbbb♥"
"Realized now."
Lion stops dead. What's up? Turn— she's plopped in the middle of the hall, looking up at me.
"Why?"
"Shoulda eaten it first."
The chicken? Didn't know she loved it that much. Limited menu hype?
"Not too late. Let's eat."
"Yeah. Gotta."