In Real Life — 2
"Come on~ Relax. You're far too tense."
"...Nngh—"
I tried to follow her instructions, forcing the rigid tension out of my lower body. My legs, however, refused to unlock so easily. Seolgam’s soft hands began to massage them with slow, deliberate care.
"You, of all people… this frightened, and yet you had the nerve to torment me like that? Well… I suppose it can’t be helped. It’s your first time."
Without warning, her fingers pinched my clit.
"…!"
My body jolted; my legs snapped shut on instinct. As if she had expected exactly that, Seolgam simply pushed both thighs outward with her arms until I was spread into a wide M.
"Mm. You’re a lot more flexible than I expected."
While I reeled in pure panic, Seolgam examined me with the ease of someone who had done this a hundred times. All the while her fingers never stopped caressing my clit. Every tiny motion of her hand sent a strange, electric shiver racing through my entire body.
"W-wait…! This is still—"
I reached for her, desperate to stop whatever was about to go further wrong. But her finger was faster. I felt one slender digit slip inside me. It stopped just past the entrance, curling like a hook to press against the upper wall of my vagina.
"……!"
"Press here and you go quiet, don’t you?"
My head trembled as I stared at her. She watched my face while her finger moved in small, searching circles, parting the soft flesh inside me and discovering sensitive places I myself had never known. The way she moved—claiming, mapping, owning—made my body feel as though it no longer belonged to me.
This was nothing like when I touched myself. I couldn’t control the intensity; I couldn’t stop when I wanted to stop. Lewd, ragged breaths filled the room—closer to panting than breathing.
Once her exploration was finished, her finger turned aggressive. It drove deeper, scraping along my walls. A sensation I had never felt before rose from my sex and hammered straight into my skull.
"…Hah… ngh…?!"
My hips bucked helplessly against the unfamiliar pleasure. Seolgam gave me no freedom even for that; she pinned my waist down with one hand so I couldn’t escape the stimulation.
"Expression, body, or voice—pick just one. …You’re so hot like this I can barely hold back."
Even as she spoke, she drove me harder, as if she had never intended to hold back at all. The mounting pressure tore a cry from my throat. I could hear my own voice echo through the thin walls into the hallway outside. With my hips locked in place, making noise was the only way I could endure. Shame was shoved far away; I simply let the sounds pour out.
Her hand was relentless, never ceasing its assault on every weak point. Whether her technique was simply that good or I was just that pathetic… the crisis arrived far too quickly.
I squeezed my eyes shut, body already beginning to shudder under the oncoming wave—
"……??"
Seolgam noticed at once and stopped her finger completely.
"…Haa… uuh… W-why…?"
The plea slipped out before I could stop it. Halted right at the edge, my body grew even more restless. All I wanted was for her to finish me—now.
"It would be such a waste if you came this soon."
"Nngh…?!"
After granting me only the briefest respite, she started moving again. Seolgam’s skill was terrifying. She could have pushed me over whenever she wished, yet she deliberately stopped me at the brink again and again. My already exhausted body was driven to the limit by the endless cycle of almost-climax and cruel withdrawal. My head burned as though it would explode. Consciousness blurred; my heart hammered like a mallet against my ribs.
"…Y-you’re… too much… this is… this is…"
Tears welled up unbidden. This was revenge—far too vicious. My voice came out half sob, half moan.
"…Hmm. Shall I let you come?"
"…Y-yes… please…"
Words I would never have spoken under any normal circumstances. Pride no longer mattered; my body simply could not take any more.
"Then how about a little defeat declaration? If I like what I hear, I’ll let you finish right away."
"…De… defeat declaration…"
I swallowed hard.
"You know. The same way you made me beg you to spare me."
"……."
Regret flooded me. I had never imagined my own actions would return to me like this.
Ding—
Seolgam already knew I had no real choice. She unlocked her phone and tapped the video-record button.
"Hurry."
"…Uh… uuh…"
Breathing hard, clinging to the last shreds of reason, I forced the words out one by one.
"I… I’m just a… worthless female who… loses her mind to a single finger… so please…"
A faint smile touched her lips.
"You have to finish the sentence. What exactly are you asking for?"
"……Do… do whatever you want… make me come… completely ruined…"
Crushing humiliation crashed over me. The moment the words left my mouth I flushed scarlet and covered my face with both hands. Looking thoroughly satisfied, Seolgam saved the video and slipped the phone away. Then she leaned in, slid her finger back inside, and stopped on one precise spot.
"Ready?"
"……."
I nodded, staring up at her with a tense face. Seolgam smiled like a mischievous cat and pressed hard against that deep place.
"Uh… ah… aah…?"
Goosebumps exploded across my skin. Something rose from deep inside. A few seconds later the tension broke; a tidal wave of pleasure swallowed my entire body. My legs flew open on reflex. My toes curled tight, the soles of my feet cramping; my hips jerked wildly against my will. I threw my head back and trembled from head to toe. The climax showed no sign of ending.
And still Seolgam held my thighs apart, pumping her fingers roughly through my soaked folds.
"Aaaah…!! W-wait— st-stop—!"
My body’s reactions only grew more violent; I squirted again and again. The pleasure had long since surpassed anything I could handle. Yet I never blacked out—I had to feel every last second of it with my whole body.
I had once heard that a first time, no matter what kind it was, could never be forgotten. In that moment I became certain.
This stimulation… this pleasure… and Seolgam’s hands. I would never forget any of it.
"…Haa… haa—"
For a long while I could only gasp, unable to gather my thoughts. Aftershocks still made my body twitch. Seolgam gathered the thoroughly soaked blanket into a pile, then took wet wipes from her handbag and carefully cleaned every part of me. Even the chill of the wipes didn’t startle me—her touch was simply too gentle, too thorough.
Once she had wiped me clean, she pulled me into a firm embrace. I rested my hands on her shoulders and buried my face against her soft skin. Breathing in her warm scent finally calmed the heart that had been pounding so painfully from overexcitement. Right now, Seolgam was the only person who could soothe me.
As the tension drained away in her arms, tears suddenly spilled over. Relief was the strongest feeling. Strangely, there was no anger or sense of violation at having my virginity taken. I had to be honest with myself: sleeping with someone as beautiful as Seolgam for a first time would be considered a luxury by many people. So there was no rage, no injustice. But it didn’t feel good either. A hollow emptiness lingered. This hadn’t been the fruit of love; it had been sudden and forced. And then there had been that… rather extreme defeat declaration.
It was only because the other person was Seolgam that I could accept it at all. That faintly bitter ache also fed the tears.
When I cried, she stroked my back and soothed me.
"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was too rough and selfish, wasn’t I? You felt hurt."
The cool tone had completely vanished; her voice was as soft and gentle as if she were calming a child. Nested in her arms, I nodded quietly.
"Mm-hm. Cry all you want. I’m not going anywhere."
Seolgam stroked my hair and back. I pressed myself even deeper against her. She turned briefly, brought over a water bottle, and carefully helped me drink. The water made me feel a little better. The tears stopped, yet I still didn’t want to leave her warmth. Her body heat, her pleasant scent, and her soft hands all at once made my eyelids grow heavy. My body was utterly spent; sleep claimed me almost at once.
"…!"
I woke with a start. Outside the window the sky had already been painted a deep navy. I must have slept for quite a while. As I pushed myself up and headed for the living room, sharp muscle aches flared all over my body. The apartment lay in thick darkness.
I switched on the living-room light. Seolgam was nowhere to be seen. Had I already grown used to her presence so quickly? For some reason the room looked a little larger. On the drying rack out on the veranda hung the blanket—she must have washed it before she left.
"Huu…"
I replayed everything that had happened today. It already felt unreal, like a dream. My body felt sticky and unclean. I hurried to the bathroom.
Hot water poured over me, and only then did the last remnants of tension finally melt away. After the shower I changed into clean clothes; the fresh, soft fabric lifted my mood. …I was starving. I hadn’t eaten a single thing since morning, then gone through all of that, then collapsed for hours. Of course I was hungry.
I rummaged through the kitchen cabinets.
"……."
Of course the instant noodles were completely gone. I pulled on outdoor clothes and stood in front of the elevator, pressing the button. It was already rising toward me.
3… 4… 5…
I watched the numbers climb without thinking. Our apartment was on the 17th floor; there was still a long way to go.
10… 11… 12…
The elevator didn’t stop on any intermediate floors. A sudden, unlikely thought flickered through my mind. Could it be Seolgam?
No, of course not. Even if it stopped on our floor it would just be another neighbor. I didn’t live here alone. It wasn’t that I disliked the idea of Seolgam coming… but I also didn’t feel a pure, happy anticipation. And yet I wasn’t completely indifferent either. I couldn’t make sense of my own tangled feelings.
13… 14… 15…
"……."
16—
Ding. 16th floor.
Below me the doors opened; I heard someone step out. Right… Seolgam had a broadcast tomorrow. There was no way it was her. The flicker of disappointment that hit me left me flustered. Had I been hoping, subconsciously, that it would be her? My mind was a mess. …What exactly did I think of Seolgam right now?
[17]
Ding. 17th floor.
The doors opened. I lifted my lowered head, about to step inside—then froze mid-stride.
"…Oh."
"Hm? Where are you off to?"
Seolgam stood inside the elevator, both arms full of shopping bags.