Tokens of Solace and Shadows of the Past
I had no recollection of when I returned to the Rose Palace or when I drifted off to sleep. Struggling against an immense weight, I barely managed to pry my eyelids open. Debbie stood quietly by the bedside, watching over me.
"Yesterday, was everyth—cough..."
A sharp prickle flared in my throat the moment I tried to speak. Debbie silently offered me a glass of water. Gulping down the cool water in a single draught soothed the burning irritation.
"My memory's a bit fuzzy. Um... did everything go well yesterday?"
The last thing I remembered... I had completely lost my head. Caught in Raymon's embrace, I seemed to recall shouting and babbling incoherently. And Raymon, for his part, had offered an unbelievable string of apologies.
I am sorry.
Over and over, those words had rasped against my ears with desperate agony, as if he were coughing up blood.
He had meant it, no doubt.
Yet yesterday, I had felt like a candle burnt down to its stub; my mind had been completely numb. His words had lacked any sense of reality, floating past me as though addressed to someone else.
Please, do not blame yourself... Truly, it sounded just like the ever-dutiful Young Duke Castrein. Was I so utterly broken yesterday that he felt compelled to plead and apologize with such sheer desperation?
Well, of course I was a mess. Carefully avoiding any mention of Raymon's name, I glanced up to gauge Debbie's reaction.
"Yes, Milady."
"Well, I suppose you took care of everything, as always."
"How is your body feeling?"
"Strangely, my eyes sting..."
"Ah, well, your eyelids are terribly swollen. You look like a goldfish."
—Whoa, she's right! (ง˙∇˙)ว Contractor, are your eyes actually open? Because it doesn't look like it!
Critiquing someone's appearance the second they wake up is extremely rude, Sword!
"..."
My fingers brushed against the pillowcase, only to find it damp. Had I been crying in my sleep? Debbie took a damp towel and deftly dabbed around my eyes. As my vision cleared, something peculiar caught my attention from across the room.
"...What's that?"
Debbie shrugged and wheeled over a tray that had been set beside the bed. I had assumed it held breakfast, but it wasn't food at all. Several small boxes were stacked neatly upon it.
The first item handed to me was a little gift bundle accompanied by a card. In neat, rounded handwriting, the card read:
Dear Sister,
Always have sweet dreams! This is the friend who keeps nightmares away from Bibi, and now it will protect your dreams too!
When I untied the ribbon of the small package, something surprisingly plush and voluminous poofed outward, defying its compact packaging. It was a stuffed rabbit doll with vivid crimson crystals for eyes. My melancholy evaporated in an instant, and I burst into laughter.
"What is this? Isn't this Bibi's prized doll? Did she say it was okay to give it to me?"
"Yes. 'Mister Bunny' is a very competent doll, after all."
Something about Debbie's deadpan tone struck me as bizarre.
"Wait a second. A doll is... competent?"
"Mister Bunny's eyes are top-grade ruby magic crystals. He repels uninvited night intruders and protects his master. He also has an auxiliary feature that plays lullabies, though you can switch the track to something else."
"...Just send it back to her."
"If you return it, Lady Bibi might send 'Mister Bunny with a Carrot' next."
"What on earth is that?"
"The carrot is obviously a weapon! It's specially treated to—"
"Does that family maintain an entire legion of combat dolls?!"
Debbie simply smirked instead of answering. It was a foolish question on my part. Of course the formidable Duke Castrein would equip Bibi with automated assault plushies or whatever else she fancied...
The next item handed to me was a pale gold box. Lifting the lid revealed a bounty of dried flower petals nestled inside. I instantly recognized them—they were the very same flowers that had showered down on me during the festival in the south. The varieties that bloomed in the capital lacked that distinctive touch of violet.
"What's this? Did the young Count Cortez send it?"
"Ah, no. Um... the Young Duke sent that."
Debbie subtly peered at my face. I gently touched the delicate petals piled in the box. Dried to a crisp, they were fragile enough to crumble into powder if handled roughly. Did he actually gather and preserve these petals when we were watching the flower rain down south?
Picturing Raymon carefully gathering stray petals gave me a strange, ticklish sensation. A faint, lingering fragrance drifted up. I closed the lid before the scent could disperse completely.
Another box was packed to the brim with fresh fruit, accompanied by a brief note:
Eating well is the only real gain.
Just reading the blunt words told me exactly who had sent it, and a chuckle escaped me.
"Did everyone send gifts because I was feeling down yesterday?"
"Yup."
"Tell them all thank you for me. I'll have to pull myself together."
"Aren't you going to take the whole day to rest?"
"No. I feel refreshed now. I'm going to see Her Majesty the Empress, so fetch Mary for me this time."
I offered a bright smile. My body was still heavy, but my heart felt considerably lighter.
"A-Are you all right?"
Elaine stared with an expressionless face at the woman addressing her in trembling fear.
The Emperor had personally entered the Licorice Palace earlier, flying into a rage upon witnessing its squalid, desolate state—as if he had completely forgotten that it was his own tacit negligence that had consigned Elaine to such miserable squalor in the first place. Or perhaps he knew full well and simply did not care.
Elaine gazed at the dust-streaked hem of the curtains with green eyes completely devoid of emotion. Having been berated by the Emperor with harsh rebukes—How on earth have you been serving your mistress?!—the thoroughly disheartened head maid nervously watched Elaine's every breath.
"No. I have never been all right."
"Th-Then, at the very least... please, just don't..."
Though titled head maid, her plain attire and timid demeanor made her look no different from a common scullery maid. She was likely the only person in this entire palace who genuinely cared for Elaine.
Murky liquid sloshed within the clear crystal goblet in her hand. Yet Elaine did not hesitate for a second; she raised the goblet and drained every last drop. Her already pale complexion bleached into a ghastly, bloodless white. Without letting her breathing waver for even a moment, she endured the searing agony with an impassive countenance.
"D-Didn't you decide... to yield to Imperial Consort Cleo's wishes? Why are you still taking this...?"
"Do you truly believe that woman would ever let me die in peace?"
A mocking smile, brittle as shattered glass, touched Elaine's lips.
"She saw how the Emperor drooled over my face, completely bewitched. Had my body not already been rendered virtually barren, she would have forced sterility draughts down my throat until she was satisfied..."
Her voice was faint as a whisper, yet sharp as a dagger densely studded with fine iron thorns. Even so, the head maid ventured to speak with utmost caution:
"B-But you met Her Imperial Highness Princess Titania today..."
"..."
"Did it not change your mind... even a little...?"
Elaine remained silent as she looked at the maid who had stayed by her side through all these long years. Though now styled as head maid, the girl's disposition had not changed in the slightest. Those gentle, sheep-like eyes; that clumsy honesty incapable of concealing her inner thoughts. She was a good-hearted child who had stayed by Elaine's side with a tearful face through all those desolate years while Elaine slowly destroyed herself in isolation.
...Imperial Consort Elaine.
The image of that young woman rose in her mind—speaking with calm restraint while concealing the turbulence in her eyes.
You cannot imagine how overjoyed I am to see you in good health.
A face that would never call her 'Mother.'
Gone was the child who once hovered anxiously near her, terrified of being turned away.
"I have no emotions left to squander on that child. The only man I ever loved in this world died believing he was saving her, and the only woman I ever considered a friend vanished of her own accord, claiming she would brighten the future. Truly, they were noble, magnificent people. But I am petty and weak... and I detest being that child's mother. Because I resent those who abandoned me for the sake of a child I can never bring myself to love."
Back when she was merely a count's daughter, Elaine had dreamed of an ordinary life.
She had loathed the family that constrained her at every turn. Though kept in the dark, she knew foul secrets and treacherous schemes coursed through every corner of the household.
They never treated her as kin—only as merchandise to be sold off to the highest bidder. There had not been a single tender memory in that house.
And so, she had treasured her bond with her gentle guard knight—reputed to be of common birth under the excuse of lost memories concealing his true lineage—and the slightly mysterious female friend she had met by chance. As long as those two remained by her side, it didn't matter what kind of life awaited her...
Run away with me.
That was why, the moment she learned she had caught the Emperor's eye and that her family had no intention of refusing, she had clung to her guard knight, begging him with all her might.
I don't care what happens to my family for defying the imperial decree. Please. I never asked for a life of luxury. Please... take me and run away anywhere...