It's All Fucked Up (2)
“Ah, no thanks.”
“Pardon?”
The escort knight looked stunned as he repeated himself.
The Kan Hart Grand Duchy. One of the empire’s premier martial noble houses guarding the northern front lines. Their prestige was so immense that even the emperor kept a wary eye on them. And their knight order could stand toe-to-toe with the imperial guard. Among those who lived by the sword, it was one of the two peaks of success.
That’s why he himself had broken his bones with grueling effort just to join their ranks.
“I said no…!”
And yet here was this woman in front of him, throwing a tantrum like a child.
“May I at least ask why?”
“J-just… I don’t feel like it…”
“…”
As his face twisted in disbelief, she flailed and kept talking.
“H-honestly… I think the imperial guard is better than the Kan Hart house…”
Crack.
“Eek…!”
“…Pretend I didn’t hear that.”
He ground his teeth to swallow his rage.
Ideal. He knew her true colors from the background check. She was someone to handle with care. Even the grand duke had spoken bluntly about her.
This act was probably just that—a performance. So… why? Why was she so desperate to avoid joining House Kan Hart?
But failing the grand duke’s orders was out of the question. The escort knight took a deep breath and addressed her.
“Let’s talk somewhere else first.”
Ideal hesitated, then nodded.
About thirty minutes in the carriage, right when her butt was starting to go numb, it lurched to a stop with a snort from the horses.
She’d come along only to refuse them definitively. House Kan Hart was doomed to extinction anyway. There were many reasons, but the decisive one was treason. They’d tried to stick a knife in the emperor, only to get blocked by the protagonist’s party. As punishment, the entire house vanished without a trace.
I’m basically walking into a collapsing building…
If she became Ashu’s master here, it’d be suicide. For the sake of her future, she needed zero connection to them.
Too late for that now.
“Please step down.”
The escort knight opened the carriage door, got out first, and extended his hand.
What’s this? A handshake?
It felt sudden, but refusing an offered hand went against etiquette. She grabbed it confidently and shook. Hey, maybe I’m getting the hang of medieval manners. A proud smile crept onto her face.
…She’d learn soon enough it was just an escort.
“Then, allow me to make the formal proposal again. Ideal.”
“…”
“Please become our young master’s teacher.”
“A teacher… what exactly would that entail…?”
“Social education, etiquette training, martial arts instruction, and so on.”
It was teacher in name only. Basically, they wanted a nanny. No wonder Ashu dropped dead at her words—he listened to her.
There were clear upsides. A warm bed and full belly. In the medieval world, getting both at once wasn’t easy. She’d learned that the hard way this past week.
But she had to think long-term.
I have to refuse somehow.
“I-I only came here to refuse for good…”
…But she’d overlooked something.
“May I ask why?”
“H-honestly, the north is cold and…”
“No need to worry. The grand house has insulation magic so effective even bears skip hibernation.”
“…A-and it’s underdeveloped.”
“The Kan Hart Grand Duchy is more advanced than most cities. Whatever you’re concerned about, we’ve got it.”
The Kan Hart lands sounded livable. Wait, wasn’t it the north? She’d imagined constant famines and frozen deaths…!
Need another excuse…!
“H-honestly, working for the imperial house over the grand house—eek!”
“…I didn’t hear that.”
As she shrank back, trembling, the knight sighed.
“Do you really not want to join House Kan Hart?”
“…”
She nodded vigorously. He pondered, then stood abruptly.
“No helping it, then. The grand duke promised you generous compensation unmatched by anyone.”
Her ears perked up.
“Sadly, our talk ends here.”
“W-wait.”
She stopped him as he headed for the door. Generous compensation…? How much? Come to think of it, teaching briefly as a kid probably won’t get me killed. Maybe just until I save enough? Even with collective punishment for treason, they wouldn’t hunt down a short-term childhood tutor, right?
Gulp. She licked her lips.
“H-how generous are we talking…?”
For a moment, she swore the knight turned with a victorious smirk.
His lips parted, closed. Three-year contract. Renewable. Ten million gold per month.
By the time she came to, she’d already stamped the contract.
She tweaked the terms a bit. No martial arts training—that was the condition.
How was someone from the modern world supposed to teach medieval swordplay in a magic-filled era? The knight looked puzzled but didn’t push; getting her on board came first.
When he asked about departure, she said now was fine. Her only luggage was the sword Ideal had left behind—strapped to her waist. She’d scoured the inn top to bottom, but only booze turned up.
In the carriage together, she voiced her curiosity.
“Um, one thing I’ve been wondering…”
She’d never removed her mask outside the inn. So how had he found her? Better to know for future reference.
“You recognized me even with my face covered…”
“…We did a background check. Put tails on you too.”
“B-but I never took off my mask outside the inn…”
“Based on intel that Ideal was an alcoholic hermit, we combed every inn in the area.”
“T-that’s straight-up stalking… something trash does…”
His face fell at the jab. As she pondered saying more, a chill hit her.
Wait. They’d searched her inn? She only removed the mask there.
…And most of her inn time was spent exploring her new body.
So then…
Looking ahead, the knight’s face was off. A forced blank expression.
“…You saw, didn’t you?”
His pupils quaked at her words. He froze, blood rushed to his head, and he erupted like a volcano.
“Y-you, you crazy pervert!!!!”
Clang!!!
His head caved in.
She opened her eyes to a snowy expanse. Everything was white. Blue sky and white earth. No other colors allowed in its stark purity. The vast, deep blue horizon blurred into infinity.
“Whoa…”
As she gawked, the escort knight opened the carriage door. Icy wind bit hard, but Ideal’s body was tough. No wonder she’d racked up veteran status.
“We’ve arrived.”
Money was a scary thing. For her future, she shouldn’t have set foot here.
…But what could she do? She couldn’t survive otherwise. As a wanted criminal, even restaurant work was off-limits. Selling her body? Over her dead body.
…Military? Hell no. She was a deserter anyway—couldn’t go back. Past life, this life—military ties were exhausting.
Shoving aside stray thoughts, she stepped onto the blank canvas of snow.
Crunch. Her foot sank halfway into the fresh powder. Yeah, definitely the north.
“K-knight! Knight!! We were looking for you!!”
As they approached the mansion, some uncle-type yelled and rushed over.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s started again!!”
The knight sighed deeply.
“Again…?”
“Yes! It’s a total mess this time! Barbarians…!”
“Where?”
“Market crossroads!”
As the knight turned to bolt, he glanced back at her.
“Coming along?”
“P-pardon…?”
Me? Didn’t you just say barbarians? Why drag me?
“Oh, you’re the young master’s…?”
“Yes.”
The man’s eyes sparkled at her. Ugh, too much pressure.
“Ah, yes… sure.”
Refusing would look weird. She’d just spectate, fingers in mouth.
“Right, let’s hurry.”
Half-dragged, she followed—and arrived to—
“Y-young master!!!”
“Ah, yeah. I’m here.”
A boy drenched in blood grinned ear-to-ear.
“Young master, you can’t just pulp them like this…”
“They kept blocking my way. Big lugs.”
The boy sneered at the fallen barbarians. They were mangled.
Insane…
Now she got it.
“So I cleared ’em out.”
Why he’d okayed skipping martial training. Why invite a guest to a brawl.
All because of this precious little shit. Even this guy wasn’t stopping barbarians—he was calling for backup to rein in the psycho kid!
“Huh, who’s she?”
“This is the young master’s new—”
“My teacher?!”
His dull eyes lit up. Childish curiosity slimed over her like a tongue on sensitive spots. Goosebumps crawled up her neck.
“I only respect the strong…”
Please no. Hands together in prayer internally. Don’t pick a fight.
“Let’s fight!”
But bad omens always hit true. She wanted to cry. Him—the kid who soloed a barbarian gang? Now?
The knight might intervene… but no, his eyes sparkled too. Like parents eyeing a tutor for their spoiled brat.
You wouldn’t…
You bastards!! You called me for brat-taming duty?!
“Here I go!!”
The insane-scale golden child, Ashu Kan Hart, charged at her with a kiai and blinding speed.
—No matter how she sliced it, reincarnating into this isekai was a mistake.