Chapter 243
Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 243
Chapter Title: An Unstable Harmony
It was the first time in the history of the Union that the same person was recorded in every dispatch.
[Chairman Silas, instigator of the Rhodes Civil War, captured by Vice Commander Oscar of the Faith Division. Union and opposition forces, waiting outside, successfully entered the Silas estate after Runner Loan of the Faith Division broke the barrier.]
[Fallen monks appearing near Sionne Leoder annihilated. The dark blizzard that had troubled the Stability Division and the Orthodox Church Knights was dispelled by Runner Loan of the Faith Division.]
[Additional magic circles in Ferrara’s ‘Aquio’ and ‘Laeti’, where the entire populace had perished due to a magic circle, were dispelled by Runner Loan of the Faith Division. Commander Garcia and Vice Commander Richard of the Responsibility Division, stationed in each town, reported respectively.]
[In Bremer, at the northernmost tip of the Grafton territory, the Honor Division, which was confronting Norfolk, shortened the defense barrier’s completion by two days earlier than expected with the assistance of Runner Loan of the Faith Division. Confirmed isolation of some Norfolk forces and the retreat of a large-scale army.]
[In the Belmar Highlands of the northwestern Grafton territory, Commander Adrian of the Faith Division was tracking clues about Le Tell. He witnessed the ghost of Runner Loan of the Faith Division. An official request has been made to confirm Loan’s well-being.]
The voices of the Administration Bureau staff, discussing the dispatches, grew louder and louder.
“Isn’t Loan in the Union right now?”
“This is… it’s like they’ve all had a collective mental breakdown.”
“Perhaps they all had the same dream?”
“What are you… so that was magic, too? Did he cast a spell powerful enough to affect the entire continent?”
“He might have actually gone.”
“Then isn't that even stranger? It’s beyond magic, practically a miracle.”
Unanswerable questions.
The records of a single night, so unbelievable that they would have been difficult to share if not for Director Lazarus’s approval.
When these reports were reconfirmed by various people across the continent, they were once again astonished and brought smiles to their faces.
They had to believe it, having seen it with their own eyes, but they hadn't realized he had been so active in so many places overnight.
And for one person in particular.
*Did Loan die? How, where did it happen? Did he appear in a dream to ask me to soothe his lingering resentment?*
Adrian, who had been nursing his sorrow while sitting haphazardly on the frost-covered roadside, staring at his broken glasses frames.
“What the…”
He turned his head toward the distant Union and let out a hollow laugh.
Meanwhile.
Loan, who had bewildered the continent with his overnight exploits, was now bewildered himself.
When he opened his eyes, the sun was high in the sky, and he was still in the Governor-General’s rear garden.
*I thought it was just for a moment.*
*How could sleeping in a chair be this comfortable? Am I in my right mind to have been so discourteous to the Governor-General?*
As he chided himself, the Governor-General, who was watering the flowerbeds, turned to look at him.
Loan hastily bowed his head.
“My apologies. I fell asleep without realizing.”
“You must be tired. It was no ordinary incident.”
She offered a rather warm smile.
“The Administration Bureau was likely quite busy while you were asleep. They’re waiting outside even now. They must want to confirm the truth of it all.”
“Ah…”
“You went to so many places, indeed. And did so many things.”
“Yes. It just ended up that way.”
“Yes. It was somewhat dangerous, but I thought you would handle it well. Because it was worth it. Because it’s something you can’t understand without experiencing it. I also thought that if you could do it, there would be much to gain. However. I didn’t realize that your kind nature could become a poison.”
“A poison, you say?”
“Isn’t it a case of overworking your body and soul, defying human limits and the natural order? It was too much.”
A strange sense of defiance rose within him at the Governor-General’s words.
He had expected praise, but she called it a poison. After he had succeeded so well and returned safely.
And so, he ‘retorted’ in a way he would not have dared to before.
“As a member of the Union, I simply wanted to help my comrades in their struggles and save those who were suffering.”
He thought he had ended his statement quite firmly. But.
The Governor-General, who had paused at Loan’s retort, let out a small sigh. Her lips pursed as if about to whistle.
“You are right. But my heart, which cares for you, is not at ease.”
Her voice was low and subdued, and her gaze, fixed on a point somewhere in the distance, seemed strangely sad.
“…”
He was at a loss for words.
The deep affection embedded in her words, the undeserved sentiment that she cared for him, made his heart ache.
A wave of regret suddenly washed over him.
“I’m sorry. I have caused you worry. My thoughts were too shallow…”
Loan’s eyes and the corners of his mouth suddenly drooped.
He hadn’t understood.
His desire for recognition had taken precedence. *Why doesn't she understand?* he had sulked, in a way.
While he was angry at his own immature attitude, on the other hand, he honestly still felt a little wronged.
But the Governor-General, watching him, was also not at ease.
Her heart sank without her realizing it.
A wave of self-reproach washed over her, thinking, *What have I said to this child who has returned after performing such great deeds?*
Even though she had lived for so long.
Even though she thought she had become stronger than anything through countless incidents and accidents.
She never knew that a single expression could cause her heart such pain.
“No, it’s not that. There is nothing to apologize for. That is my karma to bear. Besides, didn’t I tell you to go myself?”
They both felt sorry for each other, and both blamed themselves.
Unable to find the words, they looked away from each other for a moment.
Loan was the first to speak.
“There is much I wish to tell you.”
“Yes. I want to hear it from you directly, too. What you saw, what you experienced, and what you felt. And perhaps, you have questions for me as well.”
“Yes.”
“But before that…”
The Governor-General paused for a moment, then looked at Loan intently as she continued.
“There is something you must examine. And that is yourself.”
“…”
For a moment, Loan misunderstood the Governor-General's words, thinking she meant he should properly assess his situation and position and show proper etiquette.
But that wasn't it.
“Your body will not be the same as before. You will probably realize it once you properly observe yourself. The things you have done are bound to have side effects.”
“What kind of side effects are you referring to?”
“It will be more helpful for you to realize that on your own. And until you are certain that you are ready, do not use that vessel for the time being.”
At the Governor-General’s words, Loan instinctively reached into his pocket.
The vessel that had guided him to the spirit world was in his hand.
For a moment, he felt a secret impulse to journey to the spirit world again.
As if she had read his mind, a slightly sterner voice came back to him.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes. I will keep it in mind.”
Though her words were somewhat cryptic, Loan had no choice but to obey.
Loan left the garden, hearing the Governor-General’s words to come back after he had recovered.
He was immediately besieged by the staff of the Administration Bureau.
That was their job.
Although they had shared the dispatches, they needed to confirm the truth of the matter with the person involved.
After all, even he thought it was all nonsensical.
After astonishing them further by telling them the unvarnished truth, Loan finally returned to his quarters.
He immediately recalled the Governor-General’s words and sought to observe his body.
He thought it would be even better to organize what he had gained last night and what he sought to gain while circulating his mana in a seated position.
‘Uh…’
At that moment, he felt a certain change that the Governor-General had mentioned.
He wasn't sure if he could call it a side effect just yet.
He hadn't realized it immediately after waking up, as he had been through an emotional upheaval and had been helping with interviews and investigations.
But now that he began to move his body in earnest, it was clear that it was not the same as before.
The mana throughout his body seemed to be flowing more smoothly than before.
To be precise, it felt less smooth and more excessively free.
As they say, too much is as bad as too little.
‘Circulation should be a constant flow…’
It had its own laws, and only when those laws were under Loan’s control could it display its proper effectiveness.
But now, it was unrestrained. To put it another way, it was chaotic. It even ignored the influence of the Circles spinning in their proper directions.
It felt as if his mana couldn't find its way within its paths.
The same was true for the mana pathway that had finally been opened by the Governor-General's touch.
What should have been a straight pillar was revealing its own will, as if trying to branch out.
*Have I lost control of my mana?*
Was this the side effect the Governor-General had spoken of?
Why had this happened?
In any case, it seemed clear that moving as light and a line in the spirit world had caused the current problem. If so.
‘Was it because of the absence of my physical body?’
That was the first reasonable hypothesis that came to mind.
If there was something that had been temporarily absent from his original self, it was the physical body made of bone, flesh, and blood.
If a single human being is formed by the gathering of mind, body, and the mana that forms their foundation, then in the spirit world, he had existed in a new form without a body—a spirit form.
The temporary imbalance that occurred in the spirit world was now affecting his current self.
‘Right now, the instability of mana is more pronounced, but…’
It wasn't just mana that had been without a physical foundation. The soul was the same.
Instability of the soul, or mind, was also a possible problem. Perhaps he was already in such a state, just unaware of it.
And based on this hypothesis, there was one more thing he could confirm.
If he was experiencing a mana imbalance, it meant that his body and mana had been separated, which in turn meant that mana also existed in the spirit world.
That was why the clusters of light had felt so familiar.
It was just that the way they manifested was somewhat different.
He had thought that mana formed the foundation of the world, but the fact that the spirit world was the same held great significance.
‘There might be things I can do even in a spirit form.’
He could reach such a conclusion.
If so, he might be able to resist the ‘Eye’ or the ‘Dream’.
‘That light that drove away the darkness. Something like that might be possible.’
But that was a matter for after the hypothesis was proven true.
For now, Loan decided to accurately re-examine his body’s condition.
He deliberately opened the window, letting in the cold wind.
He closed his eyes and recalled the cold streets of Doughton, where the winter wind had been fierce.
He breathed with the feeling of starting over from square one.
As he slowly and deeply controlled his breath, a slight change occurred in the undisciplined flow of mana.
He felt confident that he could set it right again.
‘As I thought, no single part can be considered especially important.’
Loan had been admonished by Vangelis before.
That while his mastery of mana had reached a high level, the completion of his physical body had not kept pace.
This case was of a similar nature.
The body, mind, and mana were closely interconnected and influenced each other, which meant he needed to pay more attention to their harmony and balance.
Until now, he had been focused solely on ‘mana’ with the single-minded goal of becoming stronger.
His body and mind also needed to be cultivated alongside it.
Not simply to become stronger, but to become complete as a ‘human being’.
He could not advance if he was not mature.
‘She said she expected there would be much to gain from the spirit world.’
And yet, he had acted as if he were lecturing the one who created the Union and established its will. Even his mind was half-baked.
‘How arrogant have I been?’
Loan slowly composed his mind, his mana, and his body.
He put his heart into every single breath.
He was taming his mana. He was worried that if he stopped, it might fall back into bad habits.
*Whooosh?*
Once the first path of circulation found stability, the first Circle also seemed to spin with its proper sound.
Next, he refined the second, horizontal path of circulation.
As time passed again, the Circle that powered it also became orderly.
And the third.
The fourth.
Now, the fifth.
He did not stop for a long time.
He was that focused.
The process was smooth and natural.
Loan didn't even realize he had completed the fifth Circle.