Chapter 32
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 32
Chapter Title: Solace
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#Solace
For the first time in ages, Winter sought out the cozy darkness. Pitch-black weightlessness. The stars he'd gathered filled the spherical celestial dome. Even scattered starlight had nowhere to land. Every direction was just vast emptiness. And that felt good. If there were something there, he'd have to deceive himself into believing it was real.
After that, he'd have to struggle desperately to cut off the ensuing thoughts.
Yes. The darkness was good. A sanctuary for the mind's rest.
He hadn't come here once since the twenty-seventh game began.
‘I had to become someone who wasn't me.’
Truth be told, he shouldn't return. Winter existed here, and nothing else. So the boy would reclaim his original self. It was a troubling state of affairs.
But he couldn't stay away. Today, the stone in his capricious heart weighed heavier than usual. That weight dragged the boy into the abyss. Winter waited for the moment. Time would pass, and he'd lighten on his own. It was the waiting he'd grown accustomed to throughout his life.
Sinking the torn fragments of his heart into quiet oblivion. The time it took for his swollen past to settle into tiny sediment. The boy's one way of comforting himself.
But it wouldn't settle easily today.
The fresh wound stung deepest because it was the most humiliating memory. He'd rarely been treated as a full human in life. Even so, he'd never been handled so thoroughly as an object before. Rage boiled like lava. Sharp, hot stones. Ready to erupt at any moment.
He tried thinking of something else. Fortunately, there was one thing. A person who'd been denied humanity alongside the boy. Their brief encounter left a deep impression of shared sorrow. There was another like me in this world. I'm not the only one who's lived in pain.
The loneliness eased, if only a little.
How long had he drifted in silence? A signal woke the boy. Light and sound. A message from non-human intelligence, telling him it was time to return to those without lives of their own, who sought others' lives and lost their empathy in the process. The boy sighed. The night had passed too quickly while he pondered.
It still wasn't complete.
‘Can I do this?’
He had no choice.
#Negotiation, Camp Roberts (2)
Winter had his eyes closed. His heart still churned. Even standing still, the ground seemed to ripple like waves. A little longer until he could immerse himself.
Three. Two. One.
The boy opened his eyes and asked quietly.
“Doesn’t it make sense to you?”
Two people stood before him. Park Jinseok and Lee Yura, who’d been waiting outside the lodging. Yura looked intimidated, while Jinseok gauged Winter’s mood. It was because of the boy’s earlier silence with eyes closed. They thought he was angry.
But true to his nature, Jinseok didn’t shy away from speaking. He nodded.
“Yes. I’d accept it if it were Jejung hyung. But not Yura. Think back to what happened in Paso Robles. She put everyone in danger, didn’t she?”
It was a protest against appointing Yura as combat squad leader. Courage and ability were separate, he argued. Jinseok’s formal speech had stabilized nicely. That reflected Winter’s standing. His overly firm tone was his own effort to erase the lingering awkwardness.
“Better than the selfish ones, sure. But we still have to separate will from skill. I don’t think Yura has the qualifications to lead anyone.”
He was ambitious too. He wanted to be combat squad leader. Not inherently bad. People without ambition lack drive. So it was a talent. For the Winter Alliance not to grow complacent, someone like Jinseok was needed.
Under normal circumstances.
Right now, Yura mustn’t bow her head. Winter spoke.
“Do I have those qualifications?”
“Pardon?”
“By your standards, didn’t I put everyone in danger too…?”
Jinseok’s face fell, caught off guard. His agitation was immense. He flushed with embarrassment.
Winter now had standing, skill, and achievements. So Jinseok had to defend him. But it wouldn’t be easy. Deep down, he still believed Winter’s decision in Paso Robles had been wrong.
Before Jinseok could answer, Winter turned to Yura.
“What do you think?”
She fidgeted. Emotions flickered across her face: regret and fear dominant, then lack of confidence. The boy waited calmly. Sure enough, her words matched his expectations.
“I’m… a woman… and weak… I’m sorry. I’m grateful the little boss believes in me, but I lack confidence.”
Eyes watched intently from around them. The boy wasn’t so obtuse as to miss what that meant. Yura was aware too. No, those gazes were the pressure that had pushed her this far. They’d bolstered Jinseok.
Yura chose her words carefully, then her lips moved again.
“It’s fine if I get hurt or die. But not if others get hurt because of me. I couldn’t bear it. I have no skill. And…”
“And?”
“Most who go out are men. I think it’d be much more comfortable for everyone if Jinseok stepped up instead of a woman like me.”
“That’s exactly it.”
Winter smiled. Yura and Jinseok looked baffled. Yura tilted her head.
“What do you mean?”
“Jinseok, could you turn around and cover your ears for a moment?”
“Yes? Why…?”
“Please.”
It was comical. Jinseok complied reluctantly, despite his discomfort. Those standing at a distance pretending not to eavesdrop retreated further under Winter’s gaze. The more intently he stared, the farther they went. Awkward coughs followed.
What would come next? Winter shook his head gently at the tense Yura.
“No need to be nervous. I’m just explaining why I chose you as the first combat squad leader. Listen comfortably. If you still hate it after, I’ll change my mind.”
“Ah! Yes, yes!”
The “comfortably” part didn’t help. Yura clenched her fists and swallowed dryly. She leaned in for the secretive talk. Winter thought: She’ll improve gradually.
“You just said mostly men go out.”
“Y-Yes?”
“The gender ratio is the problem.”
His words flowed calmly from there.
“The ratio’s already off. You know why. Whenever something happens, men step up, fight, and die. More men must’ve died evacuating to camp too. Now it’s external ops and inter-org fights killing them off.”
In high-crime areas, men die in droves. Strength and violence are male domains, so fighting and death fall to them. It’s just good resources depleting first.
This refugee camp at Camp Roberts had higher crime rates than any pre-plague hotspot. Every group of refugees protecting themselves was half a violent gang.
“It’ll get worse. The mood will sour more, right? Because sane men die fast. Those with conscience or responsibility confront injustice first and risk themselves for everyone. Even in our group, someone like Jinseok is rare. Hot-tempered, but a good guy.”
Yura nodded vigorously. Even in the Winter Alliance, plenty of suspicious men lurked. Fewer women, but the male ratio was higher. Just as Winter said—sane men died off early.
Ability and conscience don’t correlate.
It was the same in San Miguel. When everyone rushed the roadside diner, a man had knocked others down to fill his bag first.
He’d been in prime condition among the aid recipients.
“Then what will the surviving men start demanding from women? That’s what worries me.”
Yura looked troubled.
“Makes sense, but maybe unnecessary worry. I heard women’s rights strengthened when men dwindled… like in France or the old USSR.”
But this camp didn’t match those cases.
“Doubt it. Women have no roles here. Everything comes from outside. Don’t you feel it watching other orgs?”
Women’s rights advanced in wartime by sustaining society’s productivity. But Camp Roberts lacked a proper society, let alone production means.
“Uh, um…”
Yura fiddled with her fingers, looking pained. Her next words were almost a whine.
“Even with you as little boss… it’ll happen?”
“If crooked men protest en masse or all defect to another org? I can’t handle the whole alliance alone. Can’t say it’ll definitely happen, but it’s too big a risk to ignore. We prevent it.”
Day after Apocalypse users sometimes engineered this deliberately. Pushing polygamy or polyandry. To them, it wasn’t a problem—it was the goal.
Typically like this: Cull men first. Leave only the capable. Add tricks. Sacrifice women deliberately on outings. Kill off men anyway. Back home, brag men died instead. Of course, some women die too—for fear among them.
Repeated lies become truth. Community consciousness shifts; women self-restrict. Past sacrifices are “proof.” Hard to refute.
Everyone wants to live. Women gain the perk of avoiding direct external danger. Easy self-persuasion. Safer, but forfeiting responsibility and rights.
Yes. Concession is power transfer.
The control AI reacted to his train of thought.
「AI Help (Insight Rank 10): 『Community Trait – Male Superiority』」
「Prerequisites for applying this trait to the community: 『① Female-majority gender ratio 180%+.』, 『② Assign Weak Will trait to 30%+ of community women.』, 『③ Community men’s average skill rank 5+ higher than women’s.』, 『④ Form community opinion unfavorable to women.』, 『⑤ Assign Conservative trait to 80%+ of members.』……」
「Expected effects if 『Community Trait – Male Superiority』 applied to 『Winter Alliance』: 『① Polygamy possible.』, 『② Strong immutable downward correction to org efficiency, integrity, diversity, productivity.』, 『③ Strong immutable downward correction to women’s productivity.』, 『④ Lethal immutable downward correction to women’s external activities.』, 『⑤ Downward correction to men’s will……』」
No need to read further. Few upsides, overwhelming downsides. Veterans with runs or DLC might not care, but Winter had no intention. He just hated it.
“I get what you want from me, little boss.”
Yura, who’d pondered deeply, sighed.
“Like you’re the U.S. Army’s billboard, I gotta be yours?”
“Right. No one else can do it.”
“Ridiculous! How inadequate am I!”
She clutched her forehead, face crumpling. She had courage, but no faith in her abilities. So her courage stayed passive. If no one else steps up, I will. It was like that in Paso Robles too.
“I really have no talent for fighting. You know…”
“Don’t know.”
Yura was speechless. Winter added softly.
“Have confidence. You volunteered for camp runs, then for far riskier stuff. That’s real talent. Fighting? Honestly, no one here’s good. They’re all similar to me. Comparing acorns.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re the standard.”
Yura looked incredulous. To her, Winter was already off-spec.
“Can’t you trust my judgment? Don’t trust me?”
“No… it’s not…”
Unable to say no, she grimaced again. Winter drove it home.
“If it’s too hard, quit anytime.”
“Huh? Really? Why? It’s wasting time and opportunity. Someone else could grow…”
“Not waste. Remember in Paso Robles, when I said I needed goats?”
“Huh? Oh, that? Yes. But what’s…”
Struggling to follow, Winter told her of “The King of Colm Pou”. Then soothed step by step.
“I mean it. Quit if it’s tough. You still have a role, Yura. Experience won’t go to waste.”
“Ugh.”
Groaning with forehead in hand, Yura finally relented.
“You say that much, so I’ll try.”
“Wow, thank you.”
Winter brightened. Yura sighed, sighed again, then smiled too.
“Don’t know what you see in me, but I’ll do my best not to disappoint.”
“Yes. Looking forward to working with you.”
Jinseok still faced away. Winter tapped his shoulder. The young man turned quietly, hands over ears. No surprise. Winter beckoned to his ear.
“You can uncover now.”
“Done?”
“Yes.”
Winter stared straight at him. Jinseok averted his eyes quickly.
Staying put with ears covered, despite his personality. No flinch at the tap. Looking away first. His expression. Plenty of clues for mind-reading.
He eavesdropped.
Winter had worried he might. He’d heard the “good guy” praise too.
‘Still hung up on that incident.’
Unresolved conflict breeds grudges.
What does Winter think of me? My standing as leader’s solid—will he disadvantage me? Such anxieties. Surely harbored. Endless worry turns to pointless anger.
That’s why this. Better than overt praise.
Pretending ignorance, Winter said.
“Yura as combat squad leader is final. My decision as leader—no takebacks.”
“Understood.”
No real pushback. Relief from knowing Winter didn’t hate him. Winter confirmed he’d heard from the reaction. Continued.
“But one thing you should know.”
“What?”
“I said ‘first’ for Yura. Everyone glossed over it, thinking one-time.”
“So…”
Rising anticipation. Winter nodded.
“We need a volunteer platoon anyway. I see squad leader as platoon level. At least two, four for regular, more with rotations. You’re my second pick, Jinseok. Can’t today due to manpower.”
“…I’ll wait.”
Firmer tone.
“No more to say? Then I’ll go. Need to meet Sumiyoshi-kai folks.”
Jinseok tensed.
“Be careful.”
“Of course.”
He even bowed unexpectedly. Formal, but still.
Yura pondered again.
“I’m squad leader—if you’re going somewhere dangerous, shouldn’t I escort?”
“Not expecting that yet. I’ll only assign what you can handle. Relax.”
“Phew, good.”
Brightening, then serious, she warned Winter.
“They’re scary. Furious and vicious, they say.”
“It’ll be fine. They still have heads, won’t do anything rash now.”
“Really…?”
Only then did she leave, relieved.
But one more with business.
“Minister Min, what is it?”
Min Wangi approached quietly, warning lowly.
“People egged Park Jinseok on.”
“Yeah, figured.”
The gazes Winter had sensed. Ambitious ones among them volunteered as Jinseok supporters. Building factions, bonding.
Too quick acceptance surprised Min Wangi.
“And you still promised him squad leader?”
“Better to gather visible threats where I can see. Jinseok as squad leader makes good bait, no?”
“…”
The boy’s eerily casual voice.
Hm. Min Wangi adjusted his glasses, appraising.
“Little boss is scarier than I thought.”
“Who knows. I try to be kind only to those I can be kind to. And it’s just in case. No culling will happen.”
Plain words, heavy weight. The middle-aged scholar chuckled in satisfaction. He’d find his own tasks.
“Then I’ll watch both closely.”
Winter nodded. Yura now bore an officer label—deep approaches and temptations awaited. Those seeking profit through closeness. Cliques.
People and desires are inseparable.
============================ Author’s Note ============================
#The Future the Author Dreams Of
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