The Eunuch's Warning
The ceiling was unfamiliar.
Damn it. Never thought the day would come when I'd actually say that line.
No, in all my years of living, this was the first time I'd seen such extravagant luxury—countless intricate patterns and jewels embedded into a ceiling.
The bed was the same.
I'd expected the expensive bedding to be something like silk, but this was smooth as marble yet light as a wedding veil.
And its size? With a bit of exaggeration, it was as long as the cold pool in a men's bathhouse.
After staying at a hotel that easily cost over a billion won a month, I'd thought I'd seen the peak of extravagance, but...
This wasn't even in the same league.
"Your Majesty."
"Whoa!"
Kim Hwang-je jolted upright in bed, startled.
A bald man in silk robes stood beside the bed.
He had his hands tucked into his sleeves, clasped together, looking down at Kim Hwang-je.
With his plump cheeks and belly, he looked like the kind of guy you'd want to poke just to see what happened.
Anyone could tell he was a eunuch.
A string of curses nearly burst from Kim Hwang-je's mouth.
"Oh ho, you son of a bitch. Perfect timing..."
"Eek... Your Majesty, to use such vulgar language on our first meeting? Please act a little more like the protagonist!"
"Protagonist my ass! Hey! Have you ever seen a protagonist get turned into a eunuch?"
When Kim Hwang-je's eyes widened threateningly, the eunuch discreetly took a step back.
"Haha... Your Majesty, that could never happen. You are currently more virile than anyone else."
"...Then why are you laughing?"
"Because you're only virile in this dream..."
"You're asking to die!"
The eunuch raised both hands and trembled.
"Ah, please, Your Majesty. We don't have time to waste on such trivial matters."
"What?"
"So, could you perhaps postpone whipping me for a little while?"
"Did I clearly say I was going to whip you?"
"Aigo, Your Majesty. Of course you did. And the candles—I specially prepared your favorite red ones... Aigo, Your Majesty!"
Kim Hwang-je grabbed a candlestick and chased after the eunuch.
The eunuch fled nimbly, dodging him.
For someone so plump, he was ridiculously fast.
Kim Hwang-je kicked open the door the eunuch had left through and burst into the hallway.
"Huu...?"
But the moment he stepped into the corridor, all urge to rage vanished.
A colossal arched hallway stretched out—so vast that three tanks driving side by side would have fit comfortably.
Treasures hung at regular intervals along the endless corridor.
Armor, weapons, paintings...
Yet every tool was sized for a giant rather than a human, and the paintings looked tall enough to span two stories.
It felt less like a palace and more like standing before massive art installations set up in an open field.
"Did I shrink? Alice in Wonderland?"
The eunuch peeked his head out from a far corner.
"Aigo, Your Majesty... Serving you takes no small amount of effort...! We don't have time!"
"And now the eunuch's whining about having no time too. The only difference is that the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland had balls, unlike you."
"Your Majesty... please don't tease me too much..."
Ah, crap. Was that last one too harsh?
Tears welled up in the eunuch's eyes.
Understanding exactly how he felt, Kim Hwang-je cleared his throat to reset the mood.
"Ahem, ahem. Since you called me here, get to the point. You didn't summon me just to give me a tour of this palace, right?"
"I really did call you to give you a tour."
"What?"
"So please, just listen quietly. The longer we talk here, the more it interferes with helping Your Majesty."
"Then you shouldn't have spouted nonsense in the first place! Right?"
"Yes... of course. Then, Your Majesty, shall we go?"
Snap.
The moment the eunuch flicked his fingers, the scenery changed.
A massive fortress now stood before them, rivaling the enormous passageway from before.
It was the very fortress Kim Hwang-je had longed for in his dreams.
It was absurdly huge—like stacking ten Hoover Dams on top of each other.
Tall and mighty.
The land that rolled out below looked endlessly vast.
Kim Hwang-je honestly marveled at it.
"It's seriously huge. Did they carve an entire mountain to build this?"
The soldiers around it were four times the size of normal humans, all wearing magnificent armor and carrying impressive weapons.
But they didn't seem to notice Kim Hwang-je or the eunuch at all.
"Whoa..."
"Your Majesty, this continent originally belonged to the mighty Nephilim."
"Nephilim?"
"The most brilliant, yet also the most corrupted..."
Since some difficult term had come up, Kim Hwang-je mentally jotted it down.
So the Nephilim were the original rulers of this continent.
"Hmm, let's go with that."
What exactly are you trying to tell me?
"It's about to begin. The Wave."
But there was no need for words.
A colossal rift tore open, and...
A black wave surged from the horizon.
A tsunami across the plains?
Beep—!
Whistles sounded from all directions as Nephilim wearing armor made of solid gemstones thundered across the ground.
They roared in unintelligible voices and hauled out cannons from tunnels.
"Uh... that thing?"
What the hell? A self-propelled howitzer?
An Armstrong gun!
Kim Hwang-je's eyes widened.
If you turned an entire three-story villa into a cannon, would it look like that?
And they were all made of jade or lapis lazuli—when they prepared to fire, a soft glow emanated from inside the barrels.
It wasn't just one. They stretched endlessly across the top of the massive fortress.
"Wow. That's on the level of the Gustav train gun?"
"Yes, something like that. Though these are even larger. That one was only 800mm, while these fire 3,900mm shells per barrel!"
"Wait, wait. Don't mess with my head. Aren't you fantasy natives? What's with the sudden train gun talk? And millimeters? Why are you so familiar with metric measurements?"
"Ah, well, Your Majesty. Just chalk up the details to magic. You'd only get annoyed if I explained anyway, right? It's for convenience. Convenience."
Kim Hwang-je gaped, utterly dumbfounded.
He'd thought he'd grown used to this eunuch's stubbornness after experiencing it so many times, but it still threw him off.
"Anyway, Your Majesty, they will soon unleash their fire..."
Boom! Rumble rumble rumble rumble rumble!
"Ah. They've fired. Don't look back. It'll hurt your eyes."
This didn't sound like a joke, so Kim Hwang-je didn't turn around.
Boom—! Rumble rumble rumble!
The ground-shaking explosion was so loud his ears went numb.
Groooooooar!
An unbearably intense heat slammed into the back of his head.
"Graaaagh! It's hot!"
Kim Hwang-je frantically dove behind the nearest pillar.
But the eunuch was already standing there.
"Why did you dodge so late? Ack!"
Finally got him.
Kim Hwang-je kicked the eunuch right in the groin.
Then he looked down at the collapsed eunuch.
Whew, ten years' worth of indigestion just melted away.
"Aigo ooooh..."
"What the hell was that?"
Kim Hwang-je asked the eunuch rolling on the floor.
"Aigo... Your Majesty... Yes, exactly what you're thinking... That was a nuclear self-propelled howitzer."
"You said this was fantasy! Fantasy!"
"It is, Your Majesty. It's simply deep dark fantasy."
"What the hell is that..."
Kim Hwang-je rubbed the back of his head, which felt like it had been cooked red.
"Your Majesty. All the physical laws of the universe ultimately converge into one. Isn't that the principle of all things returning to one? The Nephilim reached a similar principle through magic."
Kim Hwang-je felt a chill run down his spine.
Blocking waves with nukes was everyday life here?
"You wanted to show me this?"
"Yes... Well, I had to show you that even this won't be able to stop it forever..."
The eunuch rose smoothly, as if he hadn't been in pain at all from the beginning.
"Here they come. The harbingers of destruction."
Bang!
A gigantic moth-like creature—literally a million times larger than a military Tinker Bell—slammed into the fortress wall.
Its size looked to be three times that of Namsan Tower, including the mountain itself.
Its spiraling teeth bit into the wall, chewing up the Nephilim hiding inside.
The wall collapsed like a beast letting out its final roar before death.
"Now, stand up, Your Majesty."
The eunuch helped Kim Hwang-je to his feet after he'd fallen from the impact.
Beyond the massive mushroom clouds rising in the distance, wings of enormous moths that would never grow familiar filled the sky.
"Ha..."
"Your Majesty."
The eunuch approached and brushed off Kim Hwang-je's robe.
Then he stepped back slightly, tucked his hands into his sleeves, and bowed deeply.
"That item is a gift from heaven... You must avoid this sight."
"Is that a threat?"
At that moment, far away between the giant mushroom clouds, the faint silhouette of a giant appeared.
When the eunuch saw it, he smiled sadly.
"A threat? How could I? It is my duty to prevent this. I would be grateful if you could trust this eunuch to obtain that item..."
And then Kim Hwang-je woke from the dream.
"Ah. Fuck."
That damn eunuch...
Ugh...
Kim Hwang-je suddenly felt transparent tears pouring from his eyes like a waterfall.
What were these tears?
Why was he crying?
But his chest ached as if a hole had been punched through it.
The egg is the world.
The egg must be broken.
Only when one world is purified...
Meaningless sentences floated through his mind.
These don't feel like my memories?
"Boss? Are you alright?"
Seo Jun-seo examined Kim Hwang-je's face.
The man had said he was just going to take a quick nap—why was he suddenly sobbing?
His face was completely drenched in tears, his expression dazed.
Although Seo Jun-seo usually maintained a poker face, he couldn't just stand by and watch his boss cry.
Especially not if it looked like he was crying over money!
He pulled a handkerchief from his tuxedo pocket and wiped Kim Hwang-je's entire face.
Then, without the slightest hesitation, he pinched Kim Hwang-je's nose with the handkerchief and blew it.
"Eugh!"
"Ah, are you coming back to your senses?"
Having someone else blow his nose for him!
Realizing he'd made a fool of himself, Kim Hwang-je grabbed the crystal water bottle beside him and splashed it on his face. Then he roughly wiped himself dry with his robe.
"Ugh, I'm fine. I just had a bad dream..."
"Ahjussi, you okay?"
Poyu asked.
That eunuch bastard... so this is how he flexes his power...?
"Poyu. Looks like I really do need to buy that thing."
"I wish you didn't have to... but I'm on your side, Ahjussi! Let's go!"
Even while trembling, Poyu planted its claws firmly on top of Kim Hwang-je's head.
The auction was in full swing, and the bids had already reached a staggering nine hundred billion won.
Kim Hwang-je raised his hand.
"Third-floor terrace, Mr. Kim Hwang-je. One trillion won! One trillion! We've finally broken the one trillion mark! Any more bids?"
But only a few seconds later, he let out another scream.
"Ah! Right as I said it! The white-haired hunter at the Warrior Training Alliance table on the third floor has bid three trillion won! Three trillion!"
"...What?"
Hey, you eunuch bastard. This was a game I was never meant to win from the start.
Your Majesty!
Poverty is not a shameful thing.
It is merely an annoyance.
But with power, most annoyances can be avoided.
Therefore, here is a good solution.
Launch an assault!
What?
Are you telling me to attack right now?
Kim Hwang-je regretted not kicking the eunuch harder in the groin earlier.
But the situation took a strange turn.
People from the Warrior Training Alliance at the third-floor table stood up and began protesting against the man who had bid three trillion.
"Catiyu! You cannot pay three trillion!"
"This differs from what was promised!"
"Have you gone mad? Does that money look like a joke to you?!"
"Not until there's dirt in my eyes!"
The white-haired, golden-eyed man called Catiyu leaned against the terrace railing, looking down below.
Suddenly, his head twisted 180 degrees.
Was his neck broken?
No, what the... was he an owl?
The Warrior Training Alliance members and everyone around them stared in horror at the man with the twisted neck.
Even the auctioneer blinked, unable to process the situation.
Who was it? Who had used magic to twist his neck?
Then, without warning, the massacre began.
"Humans, you've been far too noisy. Rest in peace."
Bang!
The heads of the high-ranking Warrior Training Alliance executives exploded and flew off.
Every time Catiyu glanced at someone, their head burst.
"Aaaagh!"
"It's terrorism!"
"Catch him! Capture him!"
The hunters fell into chaos.
After all, every hunter present was at least 2nd Class.
This VVIP auction house was a place you couldn't enter unless you were someone like Kim Hwang-je.
Causing a disturbance here—wasn't that basically suicide?
But then the entire building lurched violently.
Rumble rumble rumble!
Something seemed to explode entirely, making the floor heave.
An alarm immediately blared.
"Boss! We need to evacuate right now!"
Boom! Crackle—
An explosion cut off the transmission.
Not only that, the lights went out completely.
The building shook again, and the floor of the hall collapsed!
"Uwaaaaagh!"
The hunters plummeted into the pitch-black darkness below.
It looked like cereal pouring out of a box—somehow too surreal to feel real.
Only the platform and terraces remained; everything below had been completely hollowed out.
At that moment, the white-haired man gracefully descended from the third-floor terrace and headed straight for the [Book of Cracks] in the center of the auction hall.
The people on the other terraces were not hunters but chaebols and government officials. They could only tremble in fear; none dared to step forward.
Kim Hwang-je spoke to Seo Jun-seo.
"Go inside."
"Pardon?"
Where was he supposed to go at a time like this?
Was he telling him to go home?
"Go eat the meal that's been prepared for you. And don't drink too much."
There was no time to explain anything to Seo Jun-seo.
Kim Hwang-je sent him straight to the palace courtyard using [Personnel Deployment].
"Aaaagh!"
Seo Jun-seo's scream faded away.
Kim Hwang-je resummoned the hunter.
"Hunter!"
"For ten thousand years..."
"Shoot that bastard dead!"
"I'll shoot him dead!"
The hunter drew a longbow from his back and fired three arrows.
All three arrows curved through the air, striking at Catiyu from multiple directions.
Tang!
Catiyu swept his gaze across the incoming arrows.
They twisted midair and disintegrated into sawdust.
His eyes then chased after the hunter running along the wall.
Everywhere his gaze touched warped and shattered.
But the hunter didn't falter. He ran across the walls while continuing to shoot arrows.
Dozens more rained down at once, covering every angle.
Yet this time, Catiyu simply rotated his neck 360 degrees?
The arrows all shattered in midair and scattered across the floor.
"...Is the screw in your neck okay?"
At Kim Hwang-je's words, Catiyu responded.
"Screw? I do not use such inferior things, human."
"Human? You talk as if you're not one."
"Of course. I am a far greater being."
"If you're so great, then you should just leave quietly when you don't have the money. What's with the rampage?"
Catiyu nodded immediately.
"If one is great, then yes, that is allowed. Human."
Kim Hwang-je clicked his tongue.
These guys were actually insane.
That's not what being great means.
Just how old is this guy's mental age?
Kim Hwang-je glanced down below.
The hunters who had fallen seemed to have been dragged into some kind of subspace.
There was no way to tell if they were alive or dead.
"Are you with Howling or whatever it's called?"
"That is correct."
Kim Hwang-je's eyes gleamed.
If it was Howling, maybe he could form a good connection.
"Come out! Give him some proper education!"
Flash—!
Immediately, Baekju and Sirius appeared.
They were now wearing tight leather suits that matched the supervisor lady's tastes—full-body tights that covered even their faces.
From the outside, they looked exactly like wrestlers.
"Uh, hmm."
When did their tastes change like this?
Sirius raised his hand.
"Your Majesty!"
Baekju responded.
"Long live! Long live! Long liiiive!!"
When Catiyu saw their vacant eyes and enthusiastic triple cheer, his mouth fell open.
"Have you lost your minds? Sirius? Baekju?"
He rubbed his eyes with both hands.
No matter how many times he looked, the sight was unbelievable.
Kim Hwang-je cleared his throat and answered in their stead.
"Catch him."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
"Tear him in half and kill him!"
Sirius charged forward with a thunderous roar.
"Human tastes. Passionate. Rejected."
Catiyu frowned.
***