The Castle Becomes a Skewer
“Uwaaaaaagh!”
A shape resembling the royal castle draped in soft fabric rose from his belly.
The most striking feature was the Magic Tower, shaped like an enormous skewer. Beside it stood the Temple of Light, still under construction. Behind that loomed the royal castle itself. An airport buzzed with farming biplanes taking off and landing, while a steel mill and a mysterious creature exchange sat nearby.
It looked exactly like a miniature version of the royal castle, sculpted from living flesh and placed atop his stomach.
“Wait—swallow? What the hell did you swallow?”
Kim Hwang-je thrashed in agony as something protruded from his belly. The pain was far beyond a mere sting.
Yet he couldn’t stop himself from asking. The artisan answered him once more.
“Your Majesty, the castle shall swallow the enemy!”
“You too…?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Advance and meet it head-on!”
That’s exactly what the damn eunuch said!
Is the final evolution of a mage becoming a eunuch?
Kim Hwang-je clutched his forehead. A fierce wind howled around him.
Your Majesty!
May I raise that artisan as my successor?
What a friend who understands a king’s sacrifice!
Of course he is still immature and cannot assist with the same greatness as I, but still!
However, the distorted descent of the royal castle… magnificent!
Now, step forward and stand tall!
Swallow the world whole!
Annoying bastards always side with other annoying bastards.
Kim Hwang-je raised a fist to smash the castle but stopped himself. If he so much as touched that Magic Tower right now, the entire structure might collapse inside his body.
Unlike him, the colossal flying steak hurtling toward them showed zero hesitation.
Look at that thing. Its flesh, glowing red-hot from acid breath, sprayed juices everywhere while shaking heaven and earth.
“…What if this fails?”
“It shall not, Your Majesty!”
“Every last one of you is clearly insane…”
First they drop a meteor on his groin, now they want him to block a flying steak with his stomach.
Kim Hwang-je pulled out a bottle of Arbocil and tossed it to the hunter.
“Y-Your Majesty?”
The artisan’s complexion changed. Kim Hwang-je spoke to the hunter.
“If I receive even the slightest injury, inflict the exact same wound on the artisan and pour every drop of Arbocil onto him.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I shall obey your command without fail!”
The artisan’s face turned deathly black, then purple, but Kim Hwang-je paid it no mind. He planted his feet shoulder-width apart, spread both arms wide, and faced the steak streaking across the distant sky.
“Come at me, you piece of beef!”
The flying beef slammed straight into Kim Hwang-je’s body.
He had expected a deafening explosion.
Instead the world fell silent, like a movie paused mid-scene.
Then, suddenly, heaven and earth warped.
“Huh?”
Kim Hwang-je was gazing down at the ground from an enormous sky. His perspective had changed. When he turned his head, the horizon curved in a gentle arc. At the center rose a gray-white citadel crowned with a beautiful spire—Adel Royal Castle.
“Ah… this viewpoint…”
He realized what it was. This was the perspective of his own silhouette, the one the people inside the kingdom saw whenever he activated The Castle Becomes Me.
In other words, he was looking at Adel Kingdom through the eyes of the colossal silhouette floating above the atmosphere.
The steak’s scream reached him. Focusing, Kim Hwang-je saw the steak plummeting from the sky. This, one might say, was a steak strike.
He had witnessed ordinary meteor strikes and even sulfur giant strikes, yet he had never imagined he would drop a flying steak onto Adel Kingdom.
At that moment the artisan’s voice rang in his ear.
“Your Majesty, now! Use the Emperor’s Iron Fist!”
“Iron Fist. Right, Iron Fist!”
Kim Hwang-je snapped back to his senses. He didn’t know where the voice was coming from, but it seemed he could still use the skill.
“Grab it, Your Majesty. Grip it tightly and drive it straight into the Ruby Salon!”
“Got it! Griffon’s Claw Strike!”
He raised both hands in a claw shape and slammed them into his own stomach. The sight of the giant silhouette’s hand smashing its own belly was being broadcast live across the entire Adel Kingdom.
Emperor's Iron Fist
“Gruuuuugh!”
A sticky, bone-deep pain surged through him. Tears streamed from his eyes.
At the same moment, two sacred obsidian griffons descended from the sky.
“Kiiirurururu!”
They clamped down on the beef from both sides with their obsidian talons. The griffons frowned and pecked wildly at the meat with their beaks. What they called “pecking” looked more like hammering boulders with a pickaxe.
The steak thrashed in the air, wrestling against the divine beasts, but how could a piece of meat defeat eagles in the sky?
“Your Majesty, in the open sky your power and that creature’s stand in perfect superiority and inferiority! Push it down!”
“Nngh…!”
Kim Hwang-je endured the pain of claws digging into his stomach. Thanks to his effort the griffons beat their massive wings and dragged the steak toward the Ruby Salon.
The endless shockwaves bursting from the struggling meat blasted the clouds from the sky above the castle and shattered pieces of the griffons’ talons.
There was no way the citizens of Adel Kingdom could miss such a spectacle.
***
“What in the world is that!”
The booming voice that shook the audience chamber naturally belonged to King Dave.
“A lump of monster flesh is falling from the sky! Does no one know what it is?!”
The ministers kept their mouths firmly shut. In truth, Dave hadn’t expected a proper answer.
This was the first time he had been this shocked since Gemini had loaded the imperial treasury’s gold into a catapult and fired it.
That incident had been understandable—the hunter had scavenged the gold from filth—but a steak strike?
“Your Highness, please calm yourself! Those two griffons are holding the meat from both sides. Is this not a Bestowal rather than an attack?”
The one who finally calmed the agitated Dave was Teacher Rabanus. The other ministers gazed at him with admiration for his masterful control of the king, worthy of the Minister of Internal Affairs.
“Moreover, look, Your Highness. The silhouette of ‘His Majesty’ shines in the sky. This is clearly done by His Majesty’s will. It must be a Bestowal.”
Dave bit his lip but chose not to argue. No one wanted to speak about that silhouette floating in the sky.
Yet he, too, desperately hoped this was something related to the Emperor rather than an enemy assault, so he nodded at Rabanus’s words.
Just then, Kim Hwang-je’s roar echoed from the heavens again.
“Unicorn’s Stab!”
A tremendous sound rang out, followed by screams. Dave and the ministers all looked up.
The silhouette of Kim Hwang-je covering the sky was poking his own belly furiously with two fingers. The struggling meat had already shattered both griffons’ obsidian talons.
Soon the two griffons faded away. In their place appeared two unicorns summoned by Kim Hwang-je.
“Unicorn, arriving! Puuuuuuu!”
“Puuuuuuu!”
The unicorns shouted loud enough to be heard throughout Adel Castle. Their horns blazed with brilliant rainbow light.
“Horn Charge!”
The two unicorns skewered the giant steak with their horns and flew at terrifying speed. They looked like falling silver tracer rounds.
Before Dave could even react, they drove the meat straight into the Ruby Salon.
BOOOOOOOM!
A cloud of dust erupted, swallowing the Ruby Salon and the entire Adel Kingdom. Only the black shadow of the Ruby Salon remained faintly visible inside the haze.
The meat had been skewered like a giant barbecue kebab.
“Cough! Cough!”
Dave and the ministers kept coughing as dust poured through the open windows.
Dave rose quickly and moved to the window. Had the city been half-destroyed?
But what flew into his arms from beyond the window were Gemini and Park Su-ah.
“Kyaaaaah!”
“Ugh!”
Using swordsmanship techniques, Dave spun the pair—who were about to crash into him at high speed—and set them gently on the floor.
Then Gemini, suddenly regaining her senses, shouted.
“Your Highness! Your Highness!”
“…Stop whining like a child and speak clearly.”
Gemini and Su-ah stood up, busily brushing off the thick layer of dust.
Gemini clenched both fists in front of her chest like a choir member and cried out.
“The experiment was a success!”
“…Success? Experiment?”
What now? He swallowed the words.
“Yes! It was all thanks to His Majesty generously allowing us to build the beautiful Magic Tower however we wished. Thanks to that, we created the ultimate Ruby Caliber!”
“…Wait. What did you just say?”
Gemini stood by the window, spreading both arms in a proud, elegant, and thoroughly theatrical gesture. Following the motion, Dave realized she was pointing at the dust-shrouded Magic Tower visible beyond the window.
“So… that thing… is a sword?”
“Indeed! It is a majestic ruby treasured sword worthy of His Majesty!”
“What…”
As the dust gradually cleared, a brilliant flash forced Dave to shade his eyes.
With the construction wrapping torn away, what appeared was truly a sword of ruby.
And skewered upon that sword… the steak was sizzling, slowly cooking.
“I see…”
Dave could no longer tell whether the kingdom he was looking at was the one he knew. He sat back down on the throne and performed a dry face-wash.
Realizing that wasn’t enough, Su-ah soon handed him a cool wet towel. Dave thanked her with his eyes, pressed the towel to his burning forehead, and spoke.
“Then… that is His Majesty’s Bestowal, and that ruby treasured sword… is currently…”
“Yes, Your Majesty. It has become a skewer for grilling meat.”
Dave couldn’t bring himself to smack the proud-looking Gemini on the head in front of the ministers. Instead, after wiping his face once more with the towel, he gave an order to Rabanus beside him.
“Teacher Rabanus. Are there not elves living beneath that Magic Tower?”
“…Ah, yes, Your Highness. The elf autonomous district is located there…”
“They must be screaming at the sight of the dripping juices by now. Royal Guard, go rescue the elves.”
“As you command, Your Highness!”
When Dave watched from the window after sending the guards, he saw that most of the screams were indeed coming from the elves. They fled toward the castle, shrieking at the fragrant smoke and juices dripping from the sizzling meat.
The ordinary citizens, on the other hand, gathered with tremendous anticipation, eager to see what this new Bestowal might be.
“Ooooh, His Majesty has bestowed meat upon us!”
“Long live His Imperial Majesty! Long live!”
Cheers from the excited crowd spread throughout all of Adel Castle at the sight of the giant piece of meat.
“Hohoho—!”
Seeing their reaction, Gemini planted both hands on her waist and laughed triumphantly. Dave realized that if he waited any longer he would miss his chance, so he immediately delivered a solid knuckle to the top of her head.
***
“…”
Back in his main body.
Kim Hwang-je looked down at his stomach. Or more precisely, at the tower and chunk of meat protruding bulbously from his belly.
Of course, in that other world a “real ruby tower” had a “real steak” stuck on it, but from Kim Hwang-je’s perspective it was simply a meat club made of his own flesh.
“Would you kindly explain why something that looks like my precious parts is attached to my stomach?”
Grind, grind.
The sound of teeth grinding echoed. The artisan chose his words with extreme care, knowing one mistake could send him straight to hell.
“O great first emperor of the great Kim Hwang-je Empire, His Majesty Emperor Kim Hwang-je.”
“…”
“This is the Magic Tower. It is exceedingly beautiful to behold and was created with a magnificent spell…”
“How long exactly do I have to keep this thing attached?”
“Y-Your Majesty? You intend to remove it?!”
Instead of answering, Kim Hwang-je selected Nax in World Observation and purchased Breath. Then he fired.
“Kuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Struck by the breath, the artisan flew off into the far distance and crashed. Of course, the artisan wouldn’t die from something like that. He simply lay there trembling, eyes spinning.
Kim Hwang-je wiped the vomit-flavored breath from the corner of his mouth.
“Hunter. Apply Arbocil to our hardworking artisan… and tell him to explain things first next time.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Understood.”
Previously the artisan had used the hunter as a meat shield against Nax’s breath. The hunter danced with joy at finally repaying that old grudge and rushed over to the artisan.
Kim Hwang-je let out a long sigh, raised his head, and looked around.
The place was a mess, but…
They had won again.
And the loot was “meat.”