The Dragon's Breath and the Grand Colonization
The massive hunk of flesh lay slumped against the cliffside, while winds sweeping in from beyond the wasteland carried thick clouds of dust.
Australia’s characteristically low sky stretched out in a vivid blue that looked ready to pour down at any moment…
The scent of beef charred under the blazing sun hung heavy across the plains.
Yeah. So.
This would actually be a pretty decent view if that thing would just shut the hell up.
Alarm
“Oi oi, three S-rank monsters showed up? For real?! Mingna, I’m gonna go all out and hunt them, you know?!”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
Numbers flashed rapidly above the heads of Kim Hwang-je, the Hunter, and the Artisan.
“So you’re telling me you’ve been dumping bombs on this thing because you couldn’t even handle a damn steak?”
The compatibility with civilization is just terrible.
Kim Hwang-je shuddered with pure indignation.
Your Majesty.
Judging by appearances is a terrible thing!
This fellow also feels satisfied when he washes up in the morning and looks in the mirror, you know.
Please stop with the beef hatred!
What the hell is he even saying…
Where would a mirror even fit?
Still, right beside them stood a cliff that had been turned into pure glass from the sheer volume of bombs that had rained down.
“Your Majesty! The enemy forces are swarming!”
The Artisan shouted.
“Uhyooooo! Mingna! Go all out with everything you’ve got, you know!”
Then, like red juices flowing from perfectly cooked steak, squelching blood monsters poured out in droves.
They had mouths like carnivorous plants and bodies covered in writhing tentacles. The bloody masses charged from every direction.
Maniacal war cries flooded the battlefield.
“I’m first, watashi-chan desu ze!”
“Uhyo! Three of you came all this way? How stupid can you be lololol! You’re totally disqualified as hunters lololol!”
They looked like walking Venus flytraps, but their speech patterns belonged to monsters straight out of hell.
Thousands of mouths spat out thousands of baseless memes as they stomped across the ground like massive woofers pounding out bass.
Sudden nausea surged up his throat.
Mental defense commencing…
Partial defense successful… Rage index rising.
Kim Hwang-je stroked the necklace around his neck.
‘Whew. If I didn’t have this necklace, I might’ve actually gone insane.’
Those things weren’t really speaking. They were jamming the words straight into his mind.
How could a lump of raw meat with no lungs even scream? Otherwise there was no way the sound of “w” could feel this vivid.
“Teleportation is blocked, right?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Short-range movement seems possible, but we cannot jump directly in front of it.”
A damn steak sealing off spatial movement. Kim Hwang-je clicked his tongue.
“No choice then. Time for some proper education with a club.”
Kim Hwang-je gripped the bat tightly.
“Hunter! Mounts!”
“Yes, Your Majesty! Come forth! Hellhounds!”
Three hellhounds popped into existence.
They still had those ugly faces, massive bodies, and intimidating spiked collars around their necks.
But two of them immediately started whimpering the moment they saw Kim Hwang-je, while the third wagged its tail furiously in delight.
“Good boy. You’re the one carrying me. Let’s go! Time to show them the taste of a golden bat!”
Kim Hwang-je mounted the dog that welcomed him, while the Artisan and Hunter each climbed onto their own.
“We’ll charge in close and smash them!”
The only thing he’d learned from watching was Dave’s head-on charge.
Kim Hwang-je fearlessly dashed forward.
The Artisan’s face turned deathly pale as he chased after him, screaming.
“Ahhh! His Majesty is charging toward thousands of beasts! Hunter! Protect him!”
“Uwaaaah! Your Majesty! You must be careful!”
The two of them made a huge racket as they followed.
Of course, Kim Hwang-je was being careful.
The Castle Becomes Me
Sinal Port Wave Summon!
All-weather water spray!
Splaaaaash!
“Kusoooooo!”
“Temeeeeeee!”
It was like a firefighter blasting flames with a high-pressure hose.
Blood monsters were struck by the water jets and sent flying in every direction.
A straight path opened up.
The three hellhounds carrying their riders charged straight down the middle.
But no matter how many blood monsters they knocked aside, it somehow felt like they were just running in circles.
“Your Majesty. That beast is distorting space and blocking teleportation spells! Please grant permission to use the power of the Magic Tower!”
“The construction isn’t finished yet. Can we even use it?”
Falling from this height would be extremely troublesome.
When Kim Hwang-je checked with World Observation, the Magic Tower still wasn’t fully built.
“Yes, Your Majesty. It is incomplete, but we should be able to use it!”
Kim Hwang-je roughly pictured it in his head.
It wasn’t a finished product yet, but a tower resembling a jeweled staff was glowing.
They had literally built the entire tower out of jewels and sharpened it like a skewer.
“The Magic Tower… what exactly are you planning to do?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Please do not be alarmed. It may sting just a little.”
Wait a second?
This bastard?
Rumble.
It felt like gas was moving inside Kim Hwang-je’s stomach. His belly trembled violently.
Then suddenly, Gemini’s voice rang out from within his gut.
“I can hear you!”
“Oh my god!”
Kim Hwang-je’s eyes widened into perfect circles.
Anyone would be horrified if a woman’s voice suddenly came from inside their stomach.
But the Artisan simply looked at Kim Hwang-je’s belly as if this were perfectly normal and continued the conversation.
“Then let’s do that.”
“Understood!”
Wait, that? What the hell is ‘that’?
And don’t shout from inside my stomach!
Kim Hwang-je was completely flustered by the wriggling sensation inside his belly.
“Your Majesty, this is the ultimate secret technique we prepared through the Magic Tower in order to reveal Your Majesty’s magnificent glory.”
“…Ultimate what now?”
This is dangerous.
The moment a mage starts talking about ‘ultimate’ techniques, warning bells go off.
“Behold, Your Majesty! This is the Grande-Colony that embodies Your Majesty’s glory!”
Despite Kim Hwang-je’s silent screams, something—something—was definitely happening.
His stomach twitched and the area around his navel bulged outward.
Then it began to tremble violently.
It was a sight so unbelievable that even seeing it with his own eyes didn’t help.
The terror that something alien might burst out of his stomach caused sweat to pour down his body like rain.
Kim Hwang-je shouted at the top of his lungs.
“Stop! Stop! Stop it right nowwww!”
“What?! Your Majesty, this is the perfect solution!”
“Shut up! Whatever you’re trying to do, don’t! No, explain it first before you do anything!”
“Y-Your Majesty…”
The Artisan looked like he was about to cry, but Kim Hwang-je resolutely ignored him.
The Hunter clicked his tongue beside them, completely dumbfounded.
“Tsk tsk… Your Majesty. Mages are all crazy bastards. If you just let them do whatever they want, it always ends badly.”
“What?!”
The Artisan glared at the Hunter, but could only lower his gaze in front of Kim Hwang-je’s stare.
Instead, Kim Hwang-je looked up and used World Observation to scan the plains.
There, he saw Nax diligently spreading fertilizer from a cart.
When he pressed down on her head through the status window, Nax jerked her head upward.
“Nax! Breath attack!”
When she looked up, an indistinct silhouette of Kim Hwang-je’s face hovered over the hazy horizon—or rather, across the distant sky.
“Ughhhhh?!”
Startled, Nax trembled so hard that fertilizer scattered everywhere.
“No! Your Majesty! Why are you there?!”
“Don’t be surprised. Just shoot a breath attack this way. You’ll get paid.”
“What? Paid?”
It was Kim Hwang-je’s first time buying technology from a vassal state, so he felt a bit awkward.
Besides, wasn’t this the stuff of dreams?
A person breathing fire from their mouth!
Without bothering to check Nax’s reaction any further, Kim Hwang-je pressed down on her through World Observation and purchased the breath attack.
Green Dragon Nax
Breath: 1.9 billion won
Your Majesty!
Please be careful when purchasing a green dragon’s breath!
The meat may become extremely well-marinated and vivid!
Oh, and Your Majesty—your throat is also made of meat. Please do not forget that!
Of course, acting like a man,
Kim Hwang-je completely ignored the warning window and fired the beam.
“That’s right, you piece of meat. Let’s marinate you today!”
The moment Kim Hwang-je pressed the [Purchase] button,
His stomach churned strangely, and something surged up his throat.
The feeling of something filling his entire mouth!
It was exactly like the desperate feeling last night when he had run to the bathroom, flung open the door, and yanked up the toilet seat after running himself to exhaustion.
“Guuueeeeeeeeck!”
When Nax used it, it was a beautiful acidic breath.
But that came from a dragon’s air sac, not the esophagus.
Naturally, the breath fired from Kim Hwang-je’s mouth—which lacked such an organ—was…
Indeed a beam of vomit.
“Uwaaah, Your Majesty!”
“Oh no, Your Majesty!”
While his two subordinates recoiled in horror, the breath attack tore through every blood monster in front of the running Kim Hwang-je and shot skyward.
A storm of blood erupted, then instantly dissolved in the acid and boiled up into green vapor.
But before the entire Urulu region could be covered in green smoke, the breath struck the steak directly.
Kwaaaaaang!
“Kusooooooo! Take it easy, you bastard!”
As expected, the reaction was as intense as the heat.
The acid and steak met, producing violent heat and smoke.
Kuuuung!
He didn’t know what kind of reaction it was, but the sound of explosions and oil splattering rang out loudly.
Wow. The technology from that other world really is on another level.
This is completely different from ordinary thermal pressure bombs. Completely different.
This is the breath of a dragon—a mystical lifeform that wields the very essence of magic!
“Urrrrgh!”
After shooting the breath so refreshingly, a massive burp rose up.
Kim Hwang-je wiped his face with his shirt while smelling the terrible sour stench. The sleeves of his T-shirt had completely melted and dripped down.
“Ugh, now I understand why they said not to raise plant types!”
It felt like he had been running and vomiting nonstop for two days straight.
The Hunter was watching him with an admiring gaze.
“Your Majesty, that was incredible. I always think this. There is no one who fights as filthily as Your Majesty.”
“Just the first verse. Only the first verse.”
“Understood, Your Majesty. Puhuhu!”
Kim Hwang-je answered.
“Uwaaaaaaaaah!”
At the sudden wailing, Kim Hwang-je looked to his left.
The Artisan was crying his eyes out.
Well, of course. The emperor he served had just vomited a beam from his mouth to slaughter monsters. How could he possibly be happy?
Sobbing, the Artisan slapped the hellhound’s back.
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Ah, how could this be! Your Majesty! How could you! Ahh, this subject has failed you! Uwaaaaaah! I must die! I must die! How could Your Majesty act like some common street thug—uwaaaaaaaaah!”
The one on the left was subtly insulting him while crying, while the one on the right was clutching the hellhound’s fur and stifling laughter.
If someone were watching from afar, these three would surely be labeled the handsome one, the weird one, and the crazy one.
Of course, Kim Hwang-je firmly believed he was the handsome one.
“Ugh… I need to get a light-type dragon.”
That would at least look cool.
But anyway, the breath had been excellent.
Seeing the steak writhing in agony felt incredibly satisfying.
“How’s that, you trash? This is a dragon’s bre—”
“For real! So cool! I got a dragon power! My cells are throbbing!”
“What? What?”
“Thank you! I’m also going all out with power! Human-kun!”
The steak’s tension seemed to have skyrocketed. Its raw flesh bulged and trembled wildly as massive horns and wings suddenly sprouted from its body.
The horns gleamed with a dull metallic luster like they were made of titanium, while the wings were covered in tattered membranes like those of a dead dragon.
Yet the flap of those wings carried the powerful roar of a great peng.
The Artisan wiped away his tears and faithfully explained.
“Your Majesty! The demonic beast has been marinated in the power of a dragon! The form of the heavenly cow… has partially recovered!”
Hey, you eunuch bastard!
Is that what ‘marinated’ means?!
Boom!
When it flapped its wings, the shockwave alone caused the ruins of Urulu to collapse.
And the massive horned steak soared into the air.
“Uwaah! It’s a flying steak!”
“Uhyooooo!”
Just looking at its size, an apartment building being skewered by those horns as it flew toward them was terrifying.
At that moment, the Artisan suddenly began performing a grand ritual from atop his hellhound!
“No, not you too! Everyone’s doing grand rituals!”
It was enough to make the Hunter gasp in shock.
The Artisan began bowing and pleading in an extremely bizarre manner that even Mongol cavalrymen would never perform.
“Your Majestyyyy! Please forgive this servant! I cannot bear to watch any longer. Please take pity on this foolish one and… please grant permission! Allow us to use the great magic that Lady Gemini and I created for Your Majesty!”
“Ugh…”
He had vomited to fire the breath, yet the effect had been mediocre.
There was no justification left to refuse.
Seeing Kim Hwang-je’s silence as an opportunity, the Artisan shouted again.
“Your Majestyyyyy! Please have mercyyyyyy!”
“Fine… do it.”
“Understood, Your Majesty. I shall now begin the secret technique, Grande Colony—‘Castle Extraction’!”
Riiiiip!
Creeeeeak!
Kim Hwang-je’s abdominal skin writhed as the top of the Magic Tower burst out from his stomach!
“Uwaaaaaack!”
While Kim Hwang-je screamed and stared down at his belly, the steak descended from the sky straight toward him.
“O world! Become one!”
In the middle of that chaotic mess, the Artisan finally completed the grand incantation!
“[Castle, devour our enemies!]”