The Safest Bed in the World

The sun had set, and twilight was settling over the mountains. In a dim, shadowy corner behind the stronghold's warehouse, a man was breathing hard. It was Reno, a low-ranking member of the bandit group. He kept glancing around nervously before pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and unfolding it. It was something he'd secretly swiped yesterday from among the corpses of the assassins that had been rolling around in the courtyard.

"Hehe, this is insane... How much is all this? My eyes aren't playing tricks on me, right?"

The paper held a portrait of Veronica, glowing faintly with magical light. Below it was a sum that made Reno's heart pound like it was about to burst.

"A hundred platinum coins...! I thought I'd spend my whole life digging in the dirt, catching cabbage worms, and die an old nobody. But here's my one-shot ticket to the big time!"

A vicious, greedy madness flashed in Reno's eyes. To him, Rodin was nothing more than a 'lucky farmer who happened to be pretty strong.' ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Compared to the power of the imperial family and the value of a hundred platinum coins, the boss of some remote mountain stronghold looked smaller than an ant under his foot.

"Reno! What the hell are you doing over there? The boss says get over here and get ready to work the fields!"

When Gil's voice rang out from a distance, Reno quickly crumpled the paper and shoved it away.

"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming! My stomach was just acting up a bit!"

Even as he answered, Reno sneered inwardly. Fields, my ass... If I just hand over that woman, I'll own land anywhere in the empire. That idiot boss has a treasure right next to him and he's still out there looking for cabbages. This is my chance to snatch it for myself.

In his head, he'd already drawn up the perfect(?) plan: sneak Veronica a sleeping drug tonight and slip out of the stronghold. "Just wait for me, hundred platinum coins! I'm coming! Tonight's my last night as a bandit!"

The night in the stronghold was quiet. But for Veronica, that silence only amplified her fear. She lay on the hard wooden bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. During the day she had stood tall as the chief administrator, firmly seizing control, but once left alone in the dark room, the memories of betrayal from the imperial palace rose like ghosts to torment her.

When the knights who swore to protect me turned their blades against me... those cold eyes...

Veronica shivered and pulled the blanket higher. That was when it happened.

Click.

The sound of a poorly oiled door handle turning very carefully. Veronica's heart nearly stopped. In the darkness, the door opened, and a black shadow slipped into the room.

"Who—!"

Before she could scream, the shadow lunged forward and clamped a rough hand over her mouth. It was Reno. He held a rope and wore a lecherous smile as he pinned her down.

"Princess, if you come quietly, I won't have to hurt you. Your bounty is pretty high, you know?"

"Mmph! Mmmph—!"

Veronica struggled desperately. Tears poured down her face. Another betrayal. The self-loathing for having forgotten this was a bandit den, and a terror worse than death, took hold of her.

"Rodin... Mister Rodin! Please save me!"

The desperate cry that slipped between his fingers made Reno cackle with laughter.

"It's no use. That bear-like boss of mine sleeps like the dead. You could carry him off and he wouldn't notice. And who do you think you're trusting in a place like this? This is a bandit stronghold!"

"Do you... even know who I am? Aren't you afraid of the empire's wrath?!"

"The empire put a bounty on your head to kill you! What nonsense are you spouting? A hundred platinum coins will change my fate. Why would I care about the empire? Now shut up and open your mouth!"

Reno roughly grabbed Veronica's chin to force a gag into her mouth. In the hopeless darkness, Veronica closed her eyes. The fear of being dragged back into that cold prison—or beneath an icy blade—threatened to swallow her whole.

At the same moment, in the next room over.

Rodin had just barely been about to fall asleep. The shock of his cabbage field being turned into a wasteland yesterday had left his nerves on edge, and now he kept hearing what sounded like a rat scratching around next door, along with muffled noises.

"...Ugh, seriously. I just want to sleep."

Rodin pulled the blanket over his head, but the continuing "mmph mmph!" sounds and the rough sounds of a struggle pushed his patience to its limit. He dragged his heavy body up. Even walking to the door, crossing the hallway, and opening the next room's door felt as bothersome as climbing Everest right now.

"Hey, I told you not to disturb my sleep."

Rodin casually threw a punch toward the wall beside the bed.

BAAAAAANG—!

With a deafening roar that could burst eardrums, the thick stone wall shattered like a sheet of paper. Through the thick cloud of dust, Rodin appeared, scratching his messy hair.

"Hiiik! B-Boss?! Why are you coming out of the wall?!"

Reno, who had been holding the rope, fell backward in terror. Rodin scanned the room with sleepy eyes. He saw Veronica, just about to be tied up with rope, and Reno's face gleaming with greed.

"It was too bothersome to go all the way to the door... But what exactly are you doing to my 'precious ledger'?"

"Ledger?! Boss, this woman has a bounty of a hundred platinum coins! If we just sell her, we won't have to farm for the rest of our—!"

"Will those hundred platinum coins write up my cabbage farming plan for next year?"

Rodin's voice dropped low. The air around them suddenly grew thin, and an absolute pressure crushed Reno's entire body.

"Will that pile of money calculate my fertilizer mixing ratios? Will it tell me when to water the cabbages tomorrow morning?!"

"N-No, that's not—"

"Get lost. Anyone who touches my fields or my people doesn't even get to be fertilizer. It'd contaminate the soil. It's straight-up annihilation."

Rodin grabbed Reno by the scruff of his neck like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a piece of luggage and casually tossed him through the hole he'd just punched in the wall.

"Aaaaaaaaagh—!"

Leaving behind Reno's scream as he flew all the way to the end of the hallway, Rodin shrugged as if the whole thing was a nuisance.

The dust slowly settled. Veronica was curled up in the corner of the bed, trembling violently. The cool, collected imperial princess who had been calculating ledgers just moments ago was nowhere ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to be seen. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Rodin let out a sigh and approached her.

"It's over. What are you shaking so much for? You'll ruin the ledger."

"...I was scared. I really, truly thought I was being dragged back to that hell again..."

Veronica's voice was wet with tears. Rodin roughly scratched his head with a calloused hand. For a man who had never once tried to comfort someone, the current situation was incredibly awkward.

"Who's going to drag you off with me here? You're my chief administrator."

At Rodin's blunt, offhand remark, Veronica lifted her head.

"As long as I don't allow it, not a single head of cabbage gets taken from here. Same goes for you. So stop crying. It's bothersome."

"Thank you... truly. If it weren't for you, I would have..."

"Enough! I'm going to deduct the cost of the broken wall from your salary, just so you know. My precious construction materials budget took a hit."

"...You're talking about money even in a situation like this? You really are a person with neither blood nor tears."

Veronica let out a small, incredulous laugh. But in her eyes, the terror from before was slowly being replaced by a strange sense of relief directed at Rodin.

A short while later, in Rodin's room.

Once everything was settled, Rodin lay down in his bed again. But sleep wouldn't come. The wall was completely blown open, so every little sound and presence from the next room felt far too clear.

That was when a shadow flickered through the broken wall. Veronica, clutching a pillow tightly to her chest, was hesitantly entering Rodin's room.

"Hey, Princess. Why are you barging into someone else's room without permission?"

"...The wall is broken, so wind is coming in. It's too cold."

"Then use a blanket. And I'll fix the wall tomorrow, so just go back to sleep."

"It's not the cold that's the problem... I'm too scared to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I keep thinking about that rope."

Veronica sat down on the edge of Rodin's bed. Rodin sat up, looking utterly fed up.

"Ugh, seriously... So what do you want me to do about it? Sleep on the floor or something?"

"I won't do anything weird. Just... just let me sleep next to you. Your side is the safest place in the world, after all."

"Hey! Aren't you an imperial princess? Where did your imperial pride go?"

"Survival comes before pride! And where in the entire continent could be safer than the side of the empire's strongest former Mercenary King?"

Without waiting for an answer, Veronica slipped right into the inner side of Rodin's bed. A sweet lavender scent tickled his nose.

"Haa... Do whatever you want. But don't cross the line. I'm sensitive, so I might accidentally hit you in my sleep."

"Yes! Thank you, Mister Rodin. Oh my, your arm is much firmer than I expected? It's like a log."

Veronica said, lightly grabbing his arm.

"Shut up. I'm turning off the light."

Rodin grumbled and extinguished the lamp. In the darkness, only the sound of their breathing quietly overlapped.

When the bluish light of dawn began to illuminate the stronghold, Rodin woke up to a strange, heavy pressure on his chest.

"...Hm?"

He looked down to find that Veronica had completely burrowed into his arms at some point, using his arm as a pillow. She had her face buried in his chest, breathing evenly like a cat having the most peaceful dream in the world.

"I told you not to cross the line... and you went ahead and launched a full-scale invasion."

Rodin was about to push her away, but stopped when he saw her brow slightly furrowed in her sleep. Thinking about how much she must have suffered in the imperial palace to cling to him so desperately even in a bandit den, a strange sense of pity rose in him.

"Well, it is warm. I'll just think of you as a human heater."

Rodin closed his eyes again, looking annoyed.

At the same time, Dagan and Gil, who had come early in the morning to report, witnessed the scene through the broken wall.

"Hey, Gil... Am I dreaming right now? Those two over there..."

"He smashed through the wall just to share a room? As expected of our boss! His stamina is on another level if he can break walls like that at night!"

"Shhh! Keep your voice down! If he hears us, we'll all become fertilizer for real! Let's get ready to serve Sister-in-law first!"

The two bandits backed away with their hands clamped over their mouths in awe. In their heads, the legend of 'The Boss's Hot Wall-Breaking Romance' was already being completed.

Rodin twitching slightly in his sleep, and Veronica sleeping deeply with a happy smile in his arms. That was how the morning in the stronghold dawned—accompanied by a massive misunderstanding.