Chapter 25
Chapter 25
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 25
Chapter Title: The Incompetent Minister Wants to Retire
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Among the ranks of the Intelligence Department agents, the Owl unit stood out as being on an entirely different echelon in terms of raw strength.
John, their esteemed leader and the most formidable of them all, was an assassin by profession, yet he was powerful enough to utterly overwhelm an S-rank adventurer in a direct confrontation without even breaking a sweat.
Even such a man as John was now staring blankly at his surroundings with hollow, dazed eyes.
The grim sight of his elite comrades lying in absolute ruins entered his field of vision one by one.
Valdemar was down and defeated.
Alexander was down and defeated.
Christina was down and defeated.
Sergei was down and defeated.
And John himself knew deep down that he wouldn't last much longer either.
"Urk..."
He felt a surging sensation as if he were about to puke.
Muttering something in sheer disbelief, John mustered his last remaining strength to lift his heavy head. With bloodshot eyes, he glared at the man standing stoically before him.
The man was gazing quietly back at him with the same impassive and unreadable eyes as always.
Absolutely no emotions could be deciphered from the depths of those eyes.
There was no trace of mockery, no cold condemnation, no hollow pity, and no false sympathy.
He was simply watching, with terrifying calmness, as the defeated John finally collapsed.
"Minister... you..."
The fragile, fraying thread of consciousness he had been desperately clinging to finally snapped.
Unable even to finish his final words, John faded away into unconsciousness.
In the most absurdly pathetic and humiliating manner imaginable.
"........."
The Minister said absolutely nothing.
—Exactly three hours before the incident occurred.
"Hans Wolf was originally an individual who made significant and renowned contributions to the field of monster research. In other words, if the Oracle organization was trying to utilize him, there is a strong possibility they were after some kind of monster or a creature on par with one."
As she read down the detailed report, Celine cautiously stole a glance at the Minister's reaction.
The ring on the Minister's right thumb, which he habitually stroked every time their reports or deductions were incorrect, had already become a psychological trauma trigger for all of them.
Fortunately, nothing seemed wrong so far—the Minister's hand remained perfectly still.
Still, she whipped herself mentally to maintain her focus and continue the report without letting her guard down.
"Additionally, based on the crucial information you obtained from the capital university, we are currently investigating Mythical Era artifacts to find potential connections."
Putting all the pieces together, the Intelligence Department speculated that the 'Key' artifact might be hidden in a monster's nest or guarded by something as powerful as a guardian beast.
For now, with no other concrete evidence, it remained just a hypothesis, but considering Hans Wolf's dark past, they judged the possibility to be high.
"Finally, we are restoring and analyzing Hans Wolf's research materials recovered from the cave in Nigreo Swamp as much as possible, but we have achieved no results yet."
No results. This meant that despite investing a vast amount of time and effort, they had not found a single thing of value.
A heavy tension filled the silence of the conference room.
Everyone present shut their mouths tightly, waiting for the final judgment to descend.
The Minister rarely ever displayed anger, except in the most extreme and rare cases.
He never resorted to yelling or shouting at his subordinates.
But everyone in the Intelligence Department secretly wished he would just chew them out openly for once.
Because his silent disappointment, devoid of any outward emotional expression or outburst, hurt far more than any physical punishment ever could.
But something about this moment was off.
The Minister was not stroking his ring at all.
As someone began to think this might be a good sign, the Minister finally spoke.
"Good work. Continue the investigation and the tracking without pause."
That settled the matter.
Today was apparently one of those rare, good days that occurred perhaps once a year, if even that often.
Of course, there was a very real and tangible reason why the mood felt so good.
"Minister! The meeting is over, so how about we head over there right now?"
At Christina's cheerful and vibrant shout, the Minister nodded silently, and the tension from moments ago vanished like a lie. The room's atmosphere heated up instantly with excitement.
That's right.
The long-awaited and legendary company dinner had finally arrived.
And it wasn't just anywhere, but at the ultra-exclusive Golden Griffin, a place most people never got to visit even once in their entire lifetime!
"Including those currently on duty, write down the names of anyone out on missions or about to depart. I will take you there next time."
At that display of gentleness utterly unlike his iron-blooded reputation, some agents and staff members even began to tear up from emotion.
And so it officially began.
The Intelligence Department's first grand dinner at the Golden Griffin!
"Waaaaaah!"
"Kuh, krrgh, kraaaah?!"
"Hic, hic, hic."
I am seriously and profoundly confused right now.
I rented out the entire Golden Griffin for this dinner since everyone seemed so eager, but my subordinates are currently bawling their eyes out in public.
One guy was sobbing loudly like a bear cub that had lost its mother in the middle of a bite.
Another was making bizarre noises while drinking and shaking as if he were having a violent fit.
Some ignored the exquisite food altogether, lost in the orchestra's performance, with tears and snot streaming down their faces.
Is it simply because I lack social experience that I don't understand this?
Is a company dinner truly supposed to unfold in this chaotic and emotional mess?
Chaos—yeah, that is definitely the only word for it.
The owls at my table, who were frantically stuffing food into their mouths, almost looked normal by comparison.
"Delicious! Delicious! Delicious! Delicious!"
"Tasty! Tasty! Tasty! Tasty!"
"So good! So good! So good! So good!"
"Eat! Drink! Eat! Drink!"
Relatively speaking, of course.
"You lot, at a prestigious place like this, at least try to mind your table manners..."
"Then can I eat the lobster on John's plate while keeping my manners?"
"Do not touch it! He might actually kill you for that!"
Table manners as I understand them certainly do not include the act of murder.
"Hehe, it is not quite like back then, but this is actually pretty fun too, Minister."
Even Celine, her cheeks flushed a bright pink from the alcohol, was smiling at me.
Well, if they are truly enjoying themselves, I suppose that is what matters most?
"By the way, I've been thinking since that time in the Holy Kingdom—Minister, you are surprisingly good with your liquor, aren't you?"
At Sergei's somewhat out-of-left-field comment, the owls and those sitting nearby nodded in immediate agreement.
"Yeah. You've been drinking steadily all night, but your face looks perfectly fine."
"Do you not ever get drunk?"
"......I really want to see you drunk."
"......Me too."
"......I am curious."
"......For real."
Huh, the mood in here is getting quite weird all of a sudden.
Why are these guys sneaking over to me with fresh liquor bottles in their hands?
"Minister. How about a drinking contest on a grand night like this?"
"It is better if we do not."
"Ooh! A direct challenge from the Minister himself!"
No, that was not a challenge. I specifically said don't do it. Why on earth would you suggest something as pointless as a drinking contest?
"Awesome! Hey! Everyone listen up! There's a drinking contest with the Minister! Challengers gather over here!"
Do not do it. Do not gather them here.
"The winner gets one wish granted by the Minister himself!"
I never said anything of the sort.
"For real?! I am in, even if it actually kills me!"
Do not waste your resolve like that on something this trivial.
This won't do. They barely listen when they are sober, but while drunk, they've lost all sense of self-control.
"Count me in too!"
"Me! Me too!"
"I shall join as well...!"
With Christina, Celine, Lisana, the owls, and a few others, they've set up a proper showdown. There is no backing out now.
Fine then. It is time to show them the truth.
The reason why there is a famous imperial proverb: "Never drink with a Barrmut."
Rumors spread quickly that the Intelligence Department had challenged their own Minister to a drinking contest during dinner. The Emperor muttered "madmen" under his breath and summoned Erwin to the audience chamber.
"Not as your Emperor, but as a father to an only child, I have a request for you."
"To me, those two things are exactly the same."
"Just listen quietly for a moment."
Even after clearing everyone from the room, the Emperor glanced around warily before whispering to Erwin.
The only problem? The throne was fairly elevated above where Erwin stood.
"My apologies, Majesty, but if you speak that softly from up there, I cannot hear a word."
"......I want to know."
"Sorry, what exactly do you want to know?"
"Ah, I want to know about Ellis's friends."
At the Emperor's visibly irritated words, Erwin blinked in confusion before replying carefully.
"Why not just ask her about it directly?"
"If I could actually get a straight answer that way, I wouldn't have called you here."
That is a fair point.
"Shall I deploy my agents to investigate the matter?"
"That was my initial plan... but if Ellis finds out, what do you think she would do?"
"She would likely shudder in perfectly normal horror."
"Mm. So that option is out of the question."
Under the Emperor's piercing and desperate gaze, Erwin felt a very bad premonition.
"I cannot do this."
"I haven't even given the order yet."
"As of this very moment, I resign as Intelligence Minister."
"Request denied."
"I am being entirely serious."
"I don't care. I am the Emperor."
Blocking all possible avenues of escape, the Emperor issued a solemn edict to the Intelligence Minister.
"Erwin Barrmut. I hereby appoint you as a special one-day lecturer at the capital school. Go there and observe the students. While you're at it, check that odd vibe my daughter has been giving off lately... make sure no weird bug has latched onto her."
Anyone could tell the second part of that order was the real point of the mission.
"Got it? Do it subtly, very subtly. Like casual chit-chat, no big deal at all. I am begging you—never let on that I was the one who sent you."
Erwin thought to himself that the Emperor really needed a reality check.
"Majesty. The princess turns fifteen this year. As a parent, you may not want to admit it, but at that age, interest in the opposite sex naturally spikes. She might already have one or two boyfriends..."
"Ughhh! I don't want to hear it! I am not listening! Shut up!"
Watching the Emperor plug his ears like a petulant child, Erwin let out a sigh.
"Should I check on the crown prince's friends as well?"
"There is no need for that."
"No need?"
"No need at all."
So be it then.
This is extremely bad.
Really bad, in every conceivable way.
If I'd had even a single day to prepare, I could've rummaged through the archives for safe info and faked my way through as a one-day lecturer or whatever.
But His Majesty said go right now.
So here I am, racking my brain desperately in the middle of this bumpy carriage ride.
But I have no answers.
Because I know absolutely nothing!
I need something to pretend to teach! What am I supposed to do with zero actual knowledge?!
In the end, I had no ideas by the time of arrival, so I figured worst case, I'd show off that traditional folk dance from my teens as I stepped off the carriage.
That's the moment I sensed something was off.
Was the capital school's magical barrier always this visibly thick and heavy?
"H-How! How the hell did you know?!"
As I tilted my head in confusion, someone suddenly appeared.
Huh? What? Is that a school guard?
"Impossible! There is no way! Eighteen years! I have spent eighteen whole years here for this exact moment!"
Eighteen years as a school guard? That is an impressive tenure.
As I was admiring that fact, the shouting middle-aged man suddenly reached toward me.
Wait a minute, why is there actual fire coming from his hand?
"Answer me! How did you spot it, Minister?!"
"........."
It seems he knows who I am.