Chapter 23
Chapter 23
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: The Runaway Elf
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Though I had been preoccupied lately with the relentless pursuit of Oracle, the Intelligence Department's multifaceted work obviously did not end with that single objective.
At its core, we systematically collected and synthesized information from every corner of the world to monitor the shifting geopolitical situation and global trends, while simultaneously handling a wide spectrum of tasks including VIP protection and high-stakes assassinations.
Dealing with political defectors seeking refuge within the Empire was one such critical duty.
In one of the specialized rooms set aside within the Intelligence Department's secure facilities...
A woman with elegantly pointed ears, unlike those of any human, opened her mouth to speak with a remarkably calm and dignified demeanor.
"My name is Jessica Blightroy. I am a proud member of the great elves, a guardian of the sacred forest, a friend to all animals, and a trusted confidante of the flowers. For grave political reasons, I wish to defect to the Empire."
An Elf.
Though the world was teeming with diverse subraces, elves were the only ones who evoked an inexplicable and profound air of mystery by their very name alone.
With their signature pointed ears and lifespans that were incomparably longer than those of humans, they were notoriously prideful among the various subraces.
They might appear arrogant and aloof at first glance, but their exceptional magical power ensured that no other race dared to underestimate them.
And now, such a high-ranking elf was formally requesting political asylum.
Given how easily such a situation could escalate into a massive interspecies incident, even the Intelligence Department had no choice but to dispatch the Minister himself rather than a regular agent.
With his usual impassive and unreadable gaze, the Minister listened to Jessica Blightroy's grand demand before offering his response.
"Your mother must be deeply worried about you. Go home."
She is here yet again.
She used to show up every two or three years, but lately, her visits have increased to once a year.
This pattern has persisted ever since I visited the elf kingdom as the Empire's official envoy.
At this point, I was beginning to suspect she was coming all this way just to mess with my sanity.
"No. I firmly request asylum for significant political reasons."
"I understand the urge to use that fancy new term you've recently learned, but it is not meant for trivial things like not getting the side dish you wanted at breakfast or your parents cutting your monthly allowance."
Jessica's face scrunched up in an instant, as if she were deeply offended by my blunt words.
"What are you saying, Erwin? I am not some petulant child."
"Then what exactly is the problem this time?"
And please, do not call me by my first name so casually.
"...I had a fundamental disagreement with Mother."
"Regarding what?"
"My future career path."
"And what exactly did you want to do?"
Jessica pondered the question carefully, as if she were choosing her words with precision, before finally speaking.
"I wanted to become a guardian who protects our family's ancestral home from the various dangers currently spreading across the world."
"So, basically, you want to be a NEET."
In other words: a job quitter, a non-seeker, an employment dropout, a purely economically inactive person, a home security guard, a hikikomori, and so on.
For some reason, this description did not feel like someone else's problem. I truly hoped that feeling was just a figment of my imagination.
"I am only 170 years old. I am far too young to be standing at such a crossroads in my life."
"A human would have lived and died twice over by that age."
Why was I wasting my precious day off—the rare, golden kind—having this inane and pointless conversation with this idiot elf?
Doubt crept into my mind anew, but I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop her.
The idiot elf standing before me was undoubtedly an idiot, but she was also the Elf Queen's one and only child.
Considering the elves' biological tendency not to have many children, that meant this fool would inevitably be the next Elf Queen.
I declare it here and now.
The elves are absolutely doomed.
"Hmm."
"What is it now?"
"One minor correction. I thought about it, and my birthday hasn't officially passed yet. I am only 169."
And what does that change?
"How do you even manage to sneak in here every single time anyway?"
Every time word leaked out that you had arrived, the confidence of the Imperial Knights, the palace guards, and my own subordinates plummeted to zero.
Unaware or perhaps entirely uncaring of that fact, Jessica straightened her back with a dignified and haughty expression.
"I am an elf. I did not sneak in. I simply walked in."
That is impressive, in a way.
"Anyway, your request for asylum is denied."
"I formally request a retrial of my case."
"Denied. Just go home."
Please just go home. I have housework piled up, and there is a book I have been wanting to read for ages.
Despite my desperate wish, Jessica declared her stance firmly.
"No."
In any normal, sensible case, if an asylum seeker tried to remain after their denial, we would simply deport them immediately.
But she was an elf—and not just any elf, but the queen's only daughter.
I did not even want to imagine the political fallout from forcibly deporting her, nor was I entirely sure it was even physically possible.
Reluctant as I was to admit it, this idiot elf was a genius in magic on par with my sister Angela.
"Fine. We will prepare a secure room in the Intelligence Department. Stay there until you decide to go back."
"I say no to that too. Like last time, I shall stay at Erwin's house."
Please, anything but that.
Last time, the 'minor incident' resulting from you clashing with Angela forced me to move to a whole new residence.
I really liked my current place, so I wanted to refuse, but I had no real choice in the matter anyway.
"How long do you plan to stay this time?"
"You might be sad to hear it, Erwin, but I cannot stay for long. I lied to my school saying I'd be out for a few days for a report investigation, so factoring in travel time, I have to leave the capital in about two days."
I am not sad at all. Not even in the slightest.
Two days.
That might be manageable without accidentally running into anyone I know.
"Hide those ears of yours with magic."
"I know what to do."
With a casual flick of her hand, Jessica traced invisible letters in the air, and her ears shifted into a human shape.
Well, technically it was just an illusion created via magic, so they had not really changed at all.
"Let's go."
"On the way, I want to stop by the central market. And the bookstore, the cafe, the theater, and the high-end restaurants."
Why are all the women around me such persistent freeloaders?
I truly had no idea.
Erwin is such a strange and enigmatic person.
The very day we first met, he had looked my mother in the eye and told her something unexpected.
He claimed that any exchange between elves and humans was still far too premature.
He had come as an envoy from the vast and powerful Empire, yet he left after saying just that, wanting nothing else from us.
Later, I asked Mother what he meant by those words, but her explanation simply did not make any sense to me.
After that, the thought stuck with me like a splinter.
Why exactly couldn't elves interact freely with humans?
So today, I had come to the capital seeking those elusive answers.
"Erwin. That smoked duck looks incredibly interesting. I want to research how it differs from traditional elven smoking methods."
"Aren't animals supposed to be your friends?"
"They are indeed friends. And friends are delicious."
Seemingly convinced by that logic, Erwin bought the smoked duck without offering a retort.
Nom nom.
"I honestly cannot tell the difference."
"That is too bad."
"Then I need to try another variety."
"Too bad."
"Who exactly is 'too bad'?"
"Me."
Sometimes Erwin says things that are incredibly hard to understand.
The more time I spend in his company, the less I feel I truly get him.
It's fun, though.
It is so much fun that it's infuriating how fast the time passes.
So why exactly can we not interact?
I asked him directly last time, but he simply refused to answer.
"Don't you eat anything, Erwin?"
"I'm already full."
I see. This must be that romantic thing where just watching a 'precious person' eat fills one up with satisfaction.
I must be incredibly precious to Erwin.
He never acts annoyed no matter how often I drop by uninvited, and he grants almost every request unless it's truly impossible.
Even across different races, the ways of showing deep affection are remarkably similar.
It's a given that Erwin likes me—a ton, almost like he's going crazy for me.
But there is one persistently annoying thing.
Erwin is surprisingly popular.
"Ah, big brother! ...As expected, you've been caught in the web of another filthy spider."
Who are you calling a spider, you venomous viper?
This woman who shows up every single time I visit the capital is Erwin's little sister.
A true pervert who boldly claims to love her own brother despite being his biological sister.
Last time, I tried clearing her out for Erwin's sake, but this pervert is ridiculously and suspiciously strong.
For a mere human to match me—unrivaled even in the elf kingdom—it's highly suspicious.
"Do not worry, big brother. Angela will take care of her right away."
She's annoying, but I suppose we're on the same page regarding clearing the competition.
But before she could act, Erwin wedged himself between us.
"I am currently working."
"W-Work...?"
The pervert's eyes blinked rapidly in confusion.
I could almost hear the rusted gears turning in her head.
"Aha, if it's work, then it can't be helped! I understand! Angela will hold back for now! But you have to make it up to me 'next time' for sure, big brother!"
She's a pervert and a complete idiot to boot.
"Working" was obviously just an excuse to brush her off, yet she bought it wholesale and backed down pathetically easy.
Still, that "make it up to me" part nagged at me.
Erwin is so dutiful that he'll probably indulge even a twisted sister like her.
"............"
Suddenly, I felt a wave of irritation wash over me.
Why do I have to worry about these things?
For a brief moment, the urge to knock Erwin out like I did last time and drag him back to the elf kingdom surged through me.
But I won't.
Last time, the knights, the imperial troops, and those owl-masked guys with scary auras chased us like madmen, causing huge trouble.
Erwin scolded me afterward too.
The Emperor even formally protested, so Mother chewed me out endlessly, forcing me to promise never to do it again.
Thinking back, that was a very bad promise to make.
Someday, at least once more...
"Erwin."
"What now."
"Have you ever thought about living in the elf kingdom permanently?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"No means no."
So why?
I know he likes me.
He likes me so much he's probably going crazy inside.
He likes me to death.
Why?
Truly, everything about Erwin is completely incomprehensible to me.
Angry, I begged to skip the theater and the bookstore and head straight back to his house.
But the very moment we entered Erwin's home, I sensed something off.
"Erwin, was someone else here today?"
"Subordinates or acquaintances drop by sometimes. So what of it?"
Erwin, being no mage, obviously wouldn't notice.
The lingering mana residue in the house was incredibly thick.
Like a dog in heat marking every available corner.
As I meticulously cleaned the mana traces for Erwin's sake, a thought hit me.
That pervert sister of his wouldn't stay quiet if she saw this.
Yet the lack of any trace of her mana meant she hadn't been here yet today.
It was my victory.
"Grow up already."
Night fell, and Erwin, who had yielded the bed to me, headed to the living room.
I was a bit miffed that he did nothing, but since I wanted to wait until marriage, I'd endure it for now.
Buried in Erwin's scent, I fell asleep in no time at all.