Chapter 45
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: Or, Just Do It Like Beasts from the Start
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Or, just do it like beasts from the start.
There, the recollection ended, and holding hands, we returned home.
We passed the shared entrance, the elevator, and the hallway in front of the door, entering the house without a word until that very moment...
"Minah."
"Yeah."
The instant the door closed, we gazed at each other with eyes that could melt one another.
Our pupils trembled with overwhelming excitement.
Our hands, unable to stay still as if refusing to hold back, roamed over each other's shoulders, arms, waists, and then up to our necks.
We pulled each other close.
We devoured each other's lips.
Fiercely craving and desiring one another.
It was just a kiss.
Only our lips and tongues touched, yet a melting sensation wrapped around our entire bodies.
Just a kiss, but it was so incredibly sweet.
So hot.
I wanted to pour this heat out of my body right now.
The more I thought that, the more uncontrollably my feelings for you surged, and I tangled our tongues even more provocatively.
"...Haa."
"...Hngh."
Our hot breaths burst out the moment our lips parted.
I looked into your eyes with half-lidded gaze.
Beautiful.
The fact that you, of all people, were mine—my woman—filled me with boundless affection and happiness.
"I love you."
My heart pounded so wildly it felt suffocating if I didn't express it. I surrendered my body to the desire to pour out all my emotions.
Then I waited.
Because I'm human.
It was absurd, like telling a lion starved for days to wait with meat right in front of it, but I was a rational, intelligent being capable of judgment.
Cherry-like lips. Peach-like hips. Melon-like breasts. Even if I desperately wanted to taste that sweetness right now...
"I... I love you so much, Chaewon."
I'm human.
"Please accept my heart."
In this romantic moment of whispering love, I wondered what expression I was making.
I didn't need a mirror to know my face wasn't romantic at all—it was twisted into a pervert's leer, consumed by base desire.
Ah... I can't hold back anymore.
I stared at you fiercely with greedy eyes that wanted nothing but to devour you.
The arm around your waist slid down slightly to your hips.
I brought my lips close, almost touching.
I blew rough breaths into your mouth.
But then.
"Is this what they mean when they say all men are beasts?"
You lightly pushed my lips away with your finger.
Your playful smile, as if enjoying my frustrated state, was utterly lovable.
"I want to make love with a human."
And overflowing with allure too...
"Mmph—?!"
Suddenly, I thrust my tongue in.
I grabbed your left hand, which struck my shoulder in flustered surprise, and wrapped it tightly around my waist, then stepped forward bit by bit.
Thud— In the blink of an eye, your back hit the wall.
"Pfha...!"
You exhaled, face flushed red.
Was I too rough?
Your breasts heaved with your unsteady breathing, and in my peripheral vision, I saw a thread of saliva dripping.
I snorted at your sharp, reproachful glare.
"Sorry, I'm a beast."
"—."
"Did you think I was different from other guys?"
I turned my head, bringing my lips close to your neck.
Your body twitched, a shallow moan escaping as my hot breath slanted down your nape...
Ignoring it, I bit your neck with my lips.
"...Hnght."
Your hands gripped my shirt hem tighter, unable to bear the ticklishness, and I slowly circled my lips round and round from the spot where I first touched.
This time, I exhaled hot breath from my mouth and slowly pulled my lips away from your neck.
I gently caressed your flushed cheek with the back of my hand and smiled faintly.
"Romance. Romantic ideals. I had those too. Wouldn't a lifelong single guy? I wanted to, but couldn't, so I just fantasized, and that's how certain play fantasies piled up for later."
"...".
"I wanted a super romantic confession. When you said you wanted one during a kiss, I agonized over where and how to make it romantic."
"Hngh...".
"Hey. You're the one who made me like this."
I lightly nibbled your earlobe.
My other hand softly stroked the opposite side.
"You kept tempting me, making me lose control when I wanted to confess purely. And now? You want to make love with a human?"
"...S-stop."
"You turn me into a beast and then act all smug? It's driving me crazy."
The hand teasing your ear seductively slid down, gently tracing your side.
I took your limp hand, pulled it to my chest, creating a little distance.
"I'm doomed to fail at being human. So choose."
I swallowed and flashed a seductive smile.
"Pretend to be refined like a human and then turn beast."
"...".
"Or, just do it like beasts from the start."
I slowly lifted your hand from my chest toward my lips.
"But you're the real beast here, more than me."
I lifted one corner of my mouth and lightly kissed the back of your hand.
—Swipe.
The hand I held moved to the zipper of my hoodie.
"...I was trying to gloss over it, keep some routine."
The zipper slid down without hesitation.
Thud—.
"Until that moon shows again, you're taking responsibility."
Our lips met as your two hands slipped inside my outer layer.
I removed one of your clothes too.
+++
"Minah, the sun's about to rise."
After that passionate time, the sky nearing 5 a.m. began to take on a blue hue.
We watched it from the living room, wrapped in each other's arms.
"Wow, Yumin, you look a total mess now that I see you."
"...You're wiped out too?"
As dawn broke and we could leisurely see each other's faces, we playfully critiqued them.
But when our eyes met, only smiles came, so I wrapped my arms more gently around your waist.
"So?"
"Huh?"
"What happened after that?"
Your disjointed question made me think for a moment before understanding.
You were asking about the days after high school finals—what emotions carried me through.
"...Well, after that, it's pretty much what you know. Until becoming a college student, I diligently went around with you."
"Hospital, gym, and Pyeongchang, right?"
"Then around when I was going to school, I got busy and couldn't meet, but when my break finally came, you went back to work."
"...That's when it started. Us messaging every day."
The daily life we'd taken for granted.
Realizing the huge reason behind it, you smiled tenderly and bowed your head lightly.
Your expression faintly visible through the window was dark.
"Wow, I'm so oblivious? I didn't realize and said stuff to you like..."
"You don't read people well. You were so innocent."
"How did you even endure it...?"
"Endure what? Of course I liked you."
"...".
"I thought I shouldn't like you. That I didn't deserve to. But feelings don't work that way. If I hadn't truly liked you even for a moment, I probably couldn't have held on."
I stroked your head and gently turned your body to face me.
"You're worrying needlessly again, aren't you?"
"...".
"Want me to guess, or will you tell me?"
Your eyes avoided mine.
I softly stroked your hair repeatedly, infusing reassurance, and kept a gentle smile even if you wouldn't look.
"...We reached this point so painfully— what if we break up too easily?"
You shared the anxiety in my arms.
"Overseas tour from December this year to next. We're both so busy already. What if we just drift apart like nothing?"
"...".
"I'm so happy and content right now. That's why it's scarier. I can't guarantee we'll be like this tomorrow, the day after, or far in the future. I hate that."
Your body trembled slightly in my embrace.
It wasn't cold, even at dawn.
Your cold was long gone.
"I know you love me so much, but I hate myself for worrying anyway, so..."
Anxiety and depression—even overcome, for those who've suffered severe depression, darkness sometimes surges unbidden.
Fear that this happiness might vanish like a bubble.
Fear that the day comes when this love feels unearned.
Like a false cough from unseen dust, the "what if" strikes suddenly.
Even so.
"We'll change eventually too."
You and I already knew how to overcome this pain.
"Fate'—countless lovers have said that pretty word, only to end as bitter exes. Countless loves start hot and end ice-cold. We won't be different."
"...".
"But there's one thing different between us and those ordinary people. Know what it is?"
You shook your head after deep thought, saying you didn't know.
I smiled and hugged you.
"We've shown all our good and bad sides—beautiful feelings, ugly ones—and we still like and trust each other."
"—."
"No matter what side of you shows up, I know I can love you."
I lightly kissed your cheek.
I gently rubbed the spot my lips touched with my thumb and gazed deeply into your eyes.
"I've prepared for love for 15 years. Preview, review, error notebook. Did it to the point of boredom."
"...".
"I guarantee it—you're so simple and steadfast, no new sides will surprise me. Even if they do, I won't mind. You know I went to a good school."
I bent my knees slightly to match your eye level.
Your dazed, disbelieving eyes.
Your blank expression made me laugh involuntarily.
"I'll show you the test and answers—just memorize."
"...What if I still get it wrong?"
"I'll mark it correct and move on. But you have to write the error notebook."
"—."
"Hate studying? Let's make it a game. Raid boss called 'Arrogant Love' for two—ready to clear it. I'm geared up; just need you."
I closed my eyes slightly, smiled, and paused before your lips.
One second. Two. Three.
Feeling our heartbeats echo in the silence, I waited for you.
"...I'll be raid leader. No complaints?"
I chuckled at the feel of your lips.
"Whatever you want."
And so, the long kiss———.