Chapter 11
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 11
Chapter Title: Ah, Why Can't iPhones Record Calls?
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Ah, why can't iPhones record calls?
That's what the stormy years of youth are like.
Emotions that won't bend to your will, even though they're yours.
Wanting even a scrap of attention, you'd spout nonsense, pick fights to show off to your friends, or exploit others to craft a "nice guy" image.
Back then, you don't know how to face your feelings head-on, so mistakes happen all the time.
I was an idol trainee.
It wasn't publicly announced, and I never said it out loud myself, but school being the tight-knit little world it is, pretty much everyone had a vague idea.
The moment you dream of becoming an idol, every move you make has to be careful.
You have to be ready to smile brightly at any second, avoid making enemies, and not screw up even the smallest things.
Luckily, I was surrounded by good people, and I wasn't the type to get hurt by much, so I never faced any real backlash.
If anything, the grueling practice sessions at the company—pushing me to my limits—were harder and more stressful for me.
And the one who always absorbed that stress for me was Yumin.
+++
"You already know what the issue is, right?"
Juhwan Brother downed his strong Americano like it was water.
He set down the tablet, stroked his chin beard with his hand, leaned toward me, and let out a deep sigh.
I met his gaze with a smile.
"You'd say the same even if you watched the unedited version. You know I didn't touch anything."
"You're designing variety-show moments into your daily life and adding ad-lib subtitles at key points to maximize them. Right? That's why your vlogs get way more views than the other members'. This one especially nailed those points."
That's the problem.
He laced his fingers together and stared at me intently.
His already dark circles looked even heavier today—not just my imagination.
"Chaewon. You know what category this falls into, don't you?"
"...I do."
"And you're still going to upload it?"
His words came out clipped, laced with suspicion—like he was asking if I was serious.
Juhwan Brother's instincts are razor-sharp.
His knack for spotting exactly what the public wants is so spot-on that getting his approval basically means the public's approval.
He'd given me the highest praise possible for a vlog.
But this vlog was by Ever's Han Chaewon.
It's a girl group thing.
"Yes. I'm uploading it."
What girl group in the world would upload a date vlog?
+++
Was his expression really like that...?
I muttered, chin resting on my hand.
"Are you filming this?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm filming."
Warm eyes full of affection, a gentle smile.
A kind voice, thoughtful actions.
That was definitely the Kang Yumin I knew.
And the person sitting across from him, eating the food he'd served me, was definitely me.
So why did everything about you on the screen feel so strangely unfamiliar?
"Back in elementary school, here, eat this. The sauce is tangy—you'll love it."
"Whoa, this is so good! Amazing. Minah, try this too!"
Even at the restaurant where we'd gone for a slightly late lunch.
"Minah, come here. There's a squirrel!"
"Squirrels could be anywhere, why the fuss? ...So, is it cute?"
Even at the temple where no one recognized me, and I was thrilled.
"Whoaaa~ The sea~."
"You still have energy to run? You're insane."
Even by the beach, where the sunset sparkled like stardust across the sky.
You were looking at me like I was the cutest thing ever.
I wasn't any different.
+++
"World Tour's coming up soon. No need to stir up noise."
"If it ends as just noise, I'd be lucky."
"And you're still uploading it?"
"That's me and Yumin. No matter what anyone says, I can't deny our relationship."
Haa—.
Juhwan Brother sighed in frustration.
I breathed in deeply instead.
"You're not dating."
I spat it out short and sharp.
"He sees me as a friend."
+++
That age when you're hypersensitive about romance.
In puberty, if a boy and girl hang out together, everyone assumes they're dating—100%.
They asked so much that I heard "Are you two dating?" way more often than "Are you training to be an idol?"
I just shrugged it off.
Both Yumin and I were kinda famous at school for various reasons.
As I've said a million times, it was our stormy youth, and two famous kids being childhood friends was prime gossip fodder.
Did we look like that?
Yumin was never expressive or talkative, so he didn't react at all to the dating rumors.
I got so used to hearing it that I figured it was natural for people to misunderstand.
Plus, as a trainee managing my image, the whole idea of "liking" or "dating" felt pretty distant.
So the way people saw us as lovers was intriguing, but we were too familiar with each other for that intrigue to take root.
Yeah, "us" felt more natural than "you" and "me."
Being called Kang Yumin and Han Chaewon felt less right than being lumped together as "childhood friends."
Back then, we were...
At least I was in the stormy throes of youth.
+++
"That's not the point."
"Nothing's more important than the truth."
"Chaewon, you know better. Uploading this won't do you any good."
"Oppa. I'm uploading it."
"If you keep this up, the CEO will—"
"PD-nim would ask too. But I have no reason to feel ashamed."
"—."
"That's me, that's Yumin, and that's us."
I'm not that kid anymore.
"I know what you're worried about, oppa. You're concerned I'll get hurt over this."
I won't ignore my feelings, even if I mess up.
"It's exactly what it looks like."
I'd made up my mind.
"I like him."
+++
I'd decided it while jotting in my diary.
No getting sentimental—just edit it cleanly.
Our 15 years together wouldn't vanish over one confession if I just buried my feelings. Simple as that.
Of course, it'd be tough.
The memories we made after three years apart were the starting point, and the members had chimed in too.
Like Yumin might like me back.
Even with my heart in turmoil from all that, I kept murmuring affirmations and hit play on the footage.
My planned edit points, plus ones I hadn't noticed.
I didn't take my eyes off the two-hour footage for a second, squeezing out every bit of fun...
And I was certain.
Editing the vlog would take barely two hours.
Not because pasting anywhere would work or it'd turn out as planned.
I was worried it'd barely hit 15 minutes, let alone 20.
Every moment was you.
The footage flowed and paused with you.
Whenever I appeared even a little, the camera swung back to you.
Like a lover desperate to capture every glimpse of their beloved...
Even though it was Ever's Han Chaewon's vlog, you filled it without a gap.
When I saw you—who hated showing your face and wanted to live quietly—smiling at the camera, I finally got what the members meant.
Hearing my laughter from off-screen while filming you like that, I finally understood my real feelings.
You liked me.
And I liked you even more than I thought.
We'd been playing at being childhood friends.
Since "that day at nineteen."
+++
"...Coming from you, I got nothing left to say."
Juhwan Brother chuckled and bowed his head.
I couldn't make out his mutter, but it sounded like a lament.
"...Haa. Man, when I first saw you, you were such a cute kid. Now look at you, all grown up."
He exhaled loudly enough to fill the office, then snapped his head up to look at me.
"Sorry, Chaewon. I was being nosy."
"...Oppa?"
"Yeah. Like you said, I worried you'd get hurt. Especially since you're so famous and influential."
"......"
"But think about it—you're in your sixth year in this industry. Still young, sure, but a veteran who's shining everywhere on air."
Juhwan Brother stood, popped an empty cup into the coffee machine.
As the coffee brewed, the rich caffeine aroma filled the office again.
"Whether I know you like this or not, I'm a Han Chaewon fan. And fans support their star's choices."
"Am I someone you can trust with a choice like this?"
"No need to ask twice. Just don't quit showbiz. I wanna see you around for a long time."
He sat back down smoothly, met my eyes, and grinned...
"Hope the romance works out."
He scratched the back of his head to hide his embarrassment and chugged the scalding coffee without a second thought.
+++
Getting used to something means growing numb to it.
But that doesn't make it inevitable.
So even as childhood friends, we can't take being mistaken for lovers as normal.
So what did we miss?
For the role-play of childhood friends, what did we choose to numb ourselves to? What made you hide your heart, and...
How do I go back for what I left behind on "that day at nineteen"?
It'll take time to realize.
You might leave before time allows.
So from now on, I have just one thing to do.
Love you without regrets.
+++
"Hello?"
My voice didn't tremble, I hope.
Right now, I wanted to sound casual, so ignoring it was my best bet.
-...Hello?
Your voice, after who knows how many weeks.
"Whatcha doing?"
-Just at home.
"What're you doing at home, then."
-...You gonna make me say it twice? I'm at home.
Your unchanged tone—draining the energy out of anyone—felt comforting after so long.
-If you're gonna talk nonsense, I'm hanging up.
"My vlog goes up tomorrow."
-......
"That's why I called."
-......Got it.
"Yeah. Tomorrow."
I repeated myself, dragging out the awkward chat.
It's been ages.
I wanted to talk longer, even just one more word.
I pondered what to say.
-...No words? I'm hanging up then—
"I like you, Yumin."
I said words no childhood friend ever would.
No more scripted lines.
"I like you. Do you like me?"
-...You drunk?
"Shut up and answer. Yes or no—super simple question, Mr. Pretentious."
-Can't grasp the intent yet. Why ask this outta nowhere? You filming?
"Loser guy special. Dodging the question."
-...First call in forever, and you piss me off.
A clear fake laugh came through the phone.
I pictured you clicking your tongue, deep in thought...
-I like you, friend. Happy now?
You answered reluctantly.
"Yup! I like you too, friend~!"
-So explain what's going on—
Click. I hung up.
I imagined you staring blankly at the black screen.
"Ah, why can't iPhones record calls."
Pfft— I burst out laughing.