I'm Not Cute
After tasting an all-time-high hit of dopamine yesterday, I was now, how to put this—
"It's been a while since our last comeback, so we want to try something different this time. The concept is cute and innocent, with a high-teen feel. What do you think?"
"Ohoh, atashi is in favor!"
"I don't mind."
"Pfft, Jimin Unnie doesn't seem to like it though?"
"……."
I was in a seriously foul mood.
At the moment, I was sitting in a conference room at RM Entertainment. Think of it as a preview meeting — they were walking the members through HYPE's upcoming concept, the one we'd be rolling out in a few months. That was why every member and the producer had been gathered here.
"Jimin, you don't like this concept…?"
"No. I love it. Haha."
"You sure you like it?"
"I like it. I like it. Innocent cute is great."
"Ehh, Ming-chan just sounded like Sparky-chan."
I did not like it.
If I had to summarize HYPE's concept up to this point, it would be: Wow! Girl crush! Wow! That metallic edge! That was it. That was us.
But—
"Ugh."
HYPE's new concept this time was cute and innocent. All fluttery and wafting powdery perfume, piling on the cute acts at every turn. That kind of concept.
Of course, if they told me to do it, I could do it. I'd done plenty of concepts like that during monthly evaluations, and it wasn't like I was in any position to boss the producer around anyway…!
I just didn't wanna. Waaah.
I hated that kind of stuff. Cool was better. Metallic edge, we were so good together. Girl crush, we were so good together… ugh.
"Alright, that's it for the meeting. Oh, and everyone, please think of one signature pose in advance. A cute one. Got it?"
"Haii~"
"Okay."
"Got it~"
"…Okay."
The fact that signature poses were even coming up meant they were really going with a cute concept. So during the highlight, you'd just wink all fresh and sunny and act cute and whatever. That kind of thing.
I seriously hated this. GRAAAAAAH.
"Ugh…."
"Pffthh, Unnie doesn't like the concept, does she?"
After the producer left the conference room, the maknae, Yena, called out to me from the side, clearly teasing.
"Well, if the higher-ups say so, we just have to do it. While we're at it, wanna try your signature pose now?"
"You do it."
"Why? I'll watch for you. I'm good at this kind of thing, you know."
"……."
I was slightly tempted. Yena was pretty well-known even within the group for being the cute one — which meant she was good at acting cute. Hmm. Rather than stressing over it at home, maybe I should get some feedback here.
"Ahem."
I gave my neck a light roll, then puffed out my cheeks just a little. I poked one cheek with a finger and put on a sad expression, like I was sulking. Going for a slightly "I'm mad at you" kind of vibe.
"Ppu."
"Pwahahaha! Wow, that was sooooo awkward. Unnie, you really suck at acting cute."
"……."
Should I just kill this brat. I also wanted to kill whoever invented cute-and-innocent.
"Jimin."
"What is it, Unnie?"
While I was still glaring at Yena, Seohae approached me this time. She came over, and then—
"I'm hugging you."
"Huh?"
She suddenly wrapped her arms around me. Seohae's soft chest settled over the top of my head.
"I have to go shoot a commercial in a bit."
"Busy, huh. But what does that have to do with this…?"
"Pre-charging my energy."
"Get off."
"Okay."
Seohae peeled herself off me without a fuss and strode right out. Truly the most unreadable woman in HYPE. What the hell.
"Unnie, I have a schedule too, so I should get going…."
"Just go."
"……."
"…Fine. I'll hug you."
"Kyaa~"
Yena hugged me too, then left the conference room.
Wait a second. If you were just going to leave after that, why did you tell me to try the signature pose? You only had me try it to make fun of me? What the heeeeell.
"Being the leader is so hard. So hard. Sigh."
"Ming-chan. Hug atashi too."
"No."
"Hidoi!"
In the end, only Haruka and I were left in the conference room. I was about to just go home and start a stream when Haruka struck up a conversation, and I paused.
"Ming-chan, you don't like this concept?"
"Honestly, it's not a concept I like."
"Hmm~ that so? But you'd still be good at it."
"Good at what. Cute is my counter, if anything."
That was actually true. Was it because I had memories of my past life, so I instinctively rejected that kind of thing? I didn't really know the reason, but among the members, the one with the lowest kawaii-power was definitely me.
Plus, last time when I asked the viewers which member they liked, hadn't I seen a chat that said Jimin isn't cute so she's whatever~? In other words, even Jimin — blessed with a multi-talented gender-swapped body — couldn't pull off acting cute. Well, I probably shouldn't be good at this too. If I were too perfect, the other members would get overshadowed.
"Sigh."
"Ming-chan, there's that cocky look again."
"I was not looking cocky."
"You were so, and now you're lying… pffthh."
But Ming-chan. Haruka tacked that on, then leaned her body against the desk. She looked up at me and opened her mouth.
"You pile on the aegyo like crazy on stream, so why do you say you can't do it here?"
"……."
My expression froze instantly. My face burning up was a bonus.
"W-when did I? When did I ever do aegyo on stream!?"
"Playing dumb~ kawaii."
"Hey! Are you gonna answer me properly or what!?"
"Kyaaaa~ Ming-chan's being rough~"
I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. Did that finally make her feel like answering? Haruka looked at me with a playful grin.
"……."
"Well? Nothing to say, right? If you've got nothing to say, hug me."
She held both hands out toward me.
This was… uh. This. Uh… hmm. …I genuinely had nothing to say.
I just hugged her.
"I concede…."
"Mmm~ you smell nice. Ming-chan, wanna marry atashi?"
"No."
"Uso."
Shame washed over me. This brat had been watching my entire stream. No — I'd known from the start that she'd been watching. But once you became conscious that someone you knew was watching, it got hard to focus on the stream, so I'd just ignored it and streamed anyway. I never thought it'd lead to a disaster like this.
Uugh… this was sooooo embarrassing.
"Could you perhaps forget about that."
"Muri muri. That's something you couldn't forget even if you tried. Oh, while we're at it, can you do the Bocchi~ Bocchi~ thing just once?"
"I beg of you, please don't."
"Pffthhh, okay. I'll stop teasing."
Haruka slipped out of my arms and continued.
"But you're so cute on stream, so why aren't you like that in real life? I'm actually curious about this."
"I-I don't know either."
Why was I like this, though. If someone told me to act cute in real life, it genuinely felt like my hands and feet were twisting in cringe… so why? Was it because I felt at ease the moment I went live? Or because it was just too fun and exciting? Ah, shit, I really didn't know.
I decided not to voice any of that out loud. I had a feeling that if I told Haruka, I'd get teased to death.
"I don't know what it is, but maybe if you just think of it as being on stream during the next comeback? I feel like you'd do well then."
"…I'll take senpai's advice to heart."
"Ahem. That's right, that's right. Oh, need any more advice?"
"Yes."
"Hmhmm~ I'll tell you if we shower together today!"
"Get lost."
"Hidoi!"
After a round of enjoyable conversation, it was about time for each of us to head home.
"Let's go. We've been in the conference room too long."
"Mm-hmm. Ah, Ming-chan."
"What."
"Um…."
Haruka called out to me, then hesitated over her words. She fidgeted with her fingers, glancing at my face. Hmm. That was the face she made when she wanted to ask for something.
After a long stretch of hesitation, Haruka carefully opened her mouth.
"C-can I come on Ming-chan's stream one more time?"
"……."
…Called it. It was a favor. And an absolutely, completely, utterly ridiculous one at that.