Dr. Emme (3)
Dr. Emme stared at me with her eyes wide open, her mouth half-agape in what looked like genuine shock. Even for me, who interacted with her more than most, it was a rare sight—something I hadn't seen more than a handful of times in the two years I'd been with this guild.
I cleared my throat a couple of times to snap her out of it. “...Dr. Emme?”
“Uh, huh? Oh, right. Um, where was I? R-right. Yeah, up to the part where Rabbit said the S-rank awakeners pretended to be hypnotized because they liked you. Yeah.”
At my call, she shook off the dazed look, but she was rambling in a way that was totally uncharacteristic. It was such a rare glimpse of her human side that I watched her closely, like I was observing some exotic animal. This has to be because of my joke. Hell, even I'd be stunned if I were in her shoes.
The S-rank awakeners I'd used the fake Hypnosis App on—all but one—were haughty bitches who thought they were the best at everything. And yeah, they pretty much were the best in every way. But treating people inferior to them like slaves or trash? That was straight-up wrong. Those bitches had the personalities of absolute dogshit.
How dogshit? They'd get offended if I called them by name, demanding full names instead. Not satisfied, they'd insist I use full names for other women too, claiming it gave them sexual humiliation just from a lowlife like me using their first name. And they'd casually spit out lines like, “That's why you're nothing special. You're just trash humping women's legs like a dog in heat.”
That level of dogshit. Bitches who treated me as subhuman, less than a horny dog—they liked me? It sounded like nothing but a joke. A really shitty one at that. No wonder even Dr. Emme was floored.
Still reeling from the shock, she muttered under her breath, so quiet I could barely hear. “My god, like stepping on a rat while backing away from a cow, and even half-baked, Rabbit hits the nail on the head. Didn't expect it'd rattle me this bad, losing control of my expressions...”
“Pardon? What was that, Dr. Emme?”
“N-no, nothing, Rabbit. I didn't say a word. Don't worry about it.”
There was no way she hadn't said anything, but I decided to let it slide. Most of her mutterings were beyond my brainpower anyway.
“I see.”
I nodded and glanced at her still-shocked face. But was my joke really that shocking? Wait, was she mistaking it for my serious belief? That would explain her reaction. Misunderstandings like this snowball if not cleared up quick, boomeranging back as karma later. I had no idea what horror it'd bring, but my gut screamed it'd be bad. So, to dispel any potential misconception, I spoke up.
“Anyway, it was just a joke. Don't take it seriously—it'd make things awkward for me.”
“Uh, huh? A joke? R-right, a joke. I knew that. Yeah. No way Rabbit would say something like that in your right mind otherwise.”
She rambled on, but the misunderstanding cleared, and she quickly regained her usual blank expression. Then, with eyes that feigned laziness but burned with unusual fervor, she fixed me with a serious gaze and asked, “So, Rabbit, why do you think the S-rank awakeners pretended to be hypnotized? No jokes this time—tell me.”
After her lame placebo dodge, now she was answering questions with questions. It irked me a bit that she was subtly evading when I'd asked first. Didn't she know not to counter-question?
I furrowed my brow to show my displeasure and grumbled, “I asked first. Why keep dodging?”
“You don't get it yet, Rabbit. When asking this kind of question, you state your own thoughts first. Your unswayed opinion, the answer you've come up with yourself.”
“What does that—”
As I deepened my frown at the cryptic words, she added an explanation while keeping her blank face. “Rabbit. I'm an amazing person. And words from an amazing person carry weight. People's thoughts get influenced the moment they hear me. So for open-ended questions like yours, it's smarter to share your pure opinion first.”
Her unusually kind, doctorly explanation made her point crystal clear. In short: Once you hear my answer, it'll stick in your head and sway you. So spit out your unbiased take first.
“Fair enough. Thanks for explaining.”
“Good. So, what do you think, Rabbit?”
Now fully on board, I could answer without gripe. She wasn't gonna dodge anyway. I pondered for a moment.
After her placebo bullshit, I'd tossed out my own lame joke, but a highly plausible answer had flashed through my mind. Among what I could think of, it was the most likely by far. Dr. Emme would probably call it spot-on or damn close. The more I thought, the more it fit. Yeah, no normal person would imagine it, but those psycho bitches obsessed with burying me? Totally plausible.
Thoughts sorted, I flashed a confident smile at her and opened my mouth. “Dr. Emme, this is the only answer that makes sense to me. You'll be shocked too. Once you hear it, you won't even need to share yours. Why? Because it's the truth!”
“...Gulp.”
Tensing at my confidence, she swallowed dryly. I was seeing a lot of her human side today.
“W-well then, out with it, Rabbit.”
Her breath ragged from tension, she urged me on. Still smirking confidently, I dropped the perfect truth.
“The reason those women pretended to fall for that ridiculous fake Hypnosis App is...”
“R-right...?”
“To pull a MeToo on me!”
“......What?”
“Camping out for over half a year just to bury a nobody like me? Not normal. But with their level of insanity, I know it's possible. They plotted to socially assassinate me via MeToo—has to be!”
No matter how good I was at running, nowhere to run means no escape. Knowing that, those bitches who despised me figured physically offing me was too much hassle. Instead, leveraging their ultra-rare S-rank status, they'd expose “embarrassing” things I supposedly did to them, nuking my social life.
To bury me for sure, all the female S-rank awakeners of Liar's Trap banded together, conspiring to fake the hypnosis. Overkill? Sure, but those psychos? They'd do it. And I knew it better than anyone in the guild.
Hearing my perfect answer, Dr. Emme went even more slack-jawed than at my joke, staring blankly. Pointing at her like a prosecutor cornering a criminal, I pressed, “And! If this perfect truth is right, then you, Dr. Emme, who gave me the fake app, are an accomplice.”
“What.”
She flinched at “accomplice,” body trembling. Looked like she feared her guilt being exposed. I could grill her now, make her confess, then rage with betrayal. Tempting.
But I'd received too much from her. So, I gave her a chance, like she'd done for me. Watching her scramble for a way to dent my logic and escape sin, I tossed her a lifeline.
“Dr. Emme, but I don't think you truly backstabbed me. They blackmailed you, right? Those bitches.”
If she agreed here, it'd confirm they faked it to socially kill me. I'd been at 99.9% sure, 0.1% doubt. Her “yes” would make it “Holy shit, it was real!”
Heart pounding, I awaited her words. Her pupils shook as she stammered, “Uh, wha? Blackmail...? Y-yeah, Rabbit. They blackmailed me. Said they'd trash my life's work in the lab if I didn't comply.”
She hesitated on my lifeline but grabbed it quick, her genius brain seeing it as her salvation. Grabbing it meant she was full of shit. Those crazy bitches... they really did it. Goosebumps everywhere.
But first, sort this mess. She grabbed the rope—I'd pull her up. Smiling at her rotten eyes screaming “relief,” I launched awkward acting. “As expected...! Devils in human skin. Blackmailing powerless you, dirtying your hands...!”
My stiff voice, face, and tone made it godawful theater, but it was just for show. As long as the lab CCTV caught it.
“Phew, got it, Dr. Emme. You're on my side.”
“Huh? Y-yeah, Rabbit. Always have been. Duh.”
She took my extended hand, and just like that, I had a solid ally in Dr. Emme. Weaker than the S-rank psychos gunning to socially murder me, but way better than nothing.
“Ha, what the hell makes Rabbit think like this? Impressive... in every way...”
She muttered softly, smiling hollowly. I spoke up. “Then, Dr. Emme, I'll gather allies to fight those bitches trying to socially bury me. Cheer me on.”
“Huh? Y-yeah, go ahead. Today's Rabbit was pretty good.”
Exhausted from the whirlwind, she waved me off weakly. I bowed and left the lab.
Stepping out of the guild building, I walked the night streets, pondering next moves. Yeah. At least I knew first—they're out to get me. Time to prep full-force against social annihilation.
And I texted the one female S-rank awakener in Liar's Trap who treated me like a human.