Dr. Emme's Placebo Farce
Ecchum? What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? I barely swallowed the curses rising in my throat, stuck out my tongue, winked with my left eye, and stared blankly at Dr. Emme, who was tapping her fist against her head.
With her tiny body and the oversized doctor's coat whose sleeves flapped loosely around her—thanks to her being cooped up in this room all the time—Dr. Emme had skin as white as snow and embodied every element of pure cuteness. But no matter how perfectly those elements came together, her rotten, dead-fish eyes ruined it all. They were overly mature for her small frame, so mature they'd gone rotten. That was the vibe.
About twenty seconds passed in complete silence, without a twitch or a sound from either of us. Finally realizing her pathetic attempt at aegyo wasn't working, Dr. Emme wiped the expression off her face and reverted to her usual languid demeanor.
"Doesn't work, huh. Looks like our little Rabbit is pretty pissed."
"I'm not yours or anyone's Rabbit. But yeah, I'm pissed as hell."
"Hmm... really? I see. An angry Rabbit is cute too, and I'd love to keep watching, but if I push it, you might lose all affection for me and hop away for good. So, playtime's over."
She murmured those unnecessary words in her drowsy voice without projecting them outward, then fixed her half-rotten eyes straight on me and smiled faintly.
"So, what does my Rabbit want to hear from me? An angry Rabbit is cute, but not one pissed at me. I'll answer anything."
Still wearing that subtle smile, Dr. Emme asked. Despite her petite frame, she was a full-grown adult—rumor had it her age had one more digit than mine, and as a genius doctor, that actually seemed plausible. Otherwise, how else could she flash that smile oozing with worldly gravitas so naturally?
Acknowledging the rumors about her age rang true, I tossed out the question I'd prepared.
"Why the hell did you pull this prank? What do you gain from giving me a fake hypnosis app like that?!"
Thinking she'd just been toying with me made my temper flare again, raising my voice. I already had a hunch about her answer, so frustration made me grit my teeth.
The Dr. Emme I knew couldn't stick with any single subject for long. Why? Because she was a genius. An unparalleled, once-in-a-millennium genius no one could touch. Standing before her, nothing lasted; everything got dissected and understood by that brain of hers. That's why she was always bored out of her mind.
"I wonder if an S-rank gate will pop out of nowhere." She'd casually drop horrifying lines like that, drowning in ennui.
And then I showed up before her—an F-rank awakener bundled as a bonus with entry into a massive guild, thanks to my amazing childhood friend. Having seen extraordinary people daily, she took an interest in utterly worthless me and started calling me to her lab.
A year and a half later, fed up with the S-rank tyrants above me, I seriously consulted her about quitting. She nodded and handed me the hypnosis app. Leaning in like it was top secret, she whispered in my ear:
"Rabbit, use this app and you won't need to run. Trust me?"
Back then, those words felt like a lifeline from the heavens. She'd spotted my potential and awakened it; she was the second person I trusted most in Liar's Trap. I grinned brightly, repeating my thanks over and over.
Looking back, it was probably just an experiment for her. Seeing her amusing pet creature about to slip away from her sight must've felt vaguely regrettable, so she whipped up a fake hypnosis app on the spot and handed it over.
But stupid me took that fake app, used it on the S-ranks... and it worked. For her, that might've been a fortunate turn...
...Huh?
...Wait a sec. Then why did it work all this time? The app's fake. She said so herself.
My thoughts looped back, and suddenly I was right where I started: "Why did the hypnosis app work until now?" I'd forgotten amid the betrayal, but the fake app itself wasn't the real issue. The real bombshell was that the S-ranks had played along for half a year.
Why? They had zero reason to humor me. Hell, they were dying to crush me, so if some loser shoved a ridiculous "hypnosis app" at them and ordered embarrassing shit, they'd have folded me in half on the spot, right?
I replayed every hypnosis I'd cast on the S-ranks over the past six months. At first, with my ethics holding me back and no adaptation to the app, I only gave tame orders—but that lasted two weeks. After, I went wild like an untethered colt, issuing commands that would've shattered bonds even with close friends.
But those weren't real hypnosis. Just a phone screen flashing purple and pink lights alternately, while they obeyed my absurd commands.
Why the hell did they do that? It made no sense.
The people I'd "hypnotized"—save one—had treated me like trash or a slave. They ignored me as baseline, picked fights when bored, and in worst cases, wrecked my body under the guise of "training." Demons in human skin who hated my guts.
So why had those bitches pretended to be hypnotized by a fake app?
My brain couldn't crack it. As I groaned in thought, Dr. Emme cautiously gauged my mood, then opened her mouth to answer the question I'd asked and forgotten.
"Rabbit. The reason I gave you that fake hypnosis app..."
"Yeah, you'd know, right? You know everything. Why did they play along for half a year?"
"Huh? Aren't you curious why I gave you the fake app anymore?"
"Nah, I'm over it. I get the gist."
Why she'd given it to me wasn't crucial now. Probably something dry like, "I figured I'd toss it to my pet Rabbit bolting from the pen—take it or leave it, no skin off my back."
I could predict her response perfectly, so it held no interest. What mattered was why those monster women had pretended.
Cut off mid-answer to my first question, Dr. Emme—uncharacteristically—clicked her tongue in mild annoyance. Even an emotionally arid genius like her hated interruptions. Fair enough; she loathed even hearing her name from others. Me cutting her off? Bound to piss her off. Penthouse owner or not, I was nothing compared to her.
Reaffirming that obvious fact, I debated apologizing. No, wait—she didn't apologize for the fake app. Fine, neither would I.
Decision made, I glanced at her. She glared with even rottener eyes than usual and snapped curtly.
"I dunno what you think you 'get,' but your reason and mine are probably miles apart. I'd love to correct that delusion in your tiny brain, but it'd be too much info, so I'll let it slide this once."
"Uh, yeah... thanks."
No clue what delusion she meant, but since she was letting it go, I mumbled gratitude and dipped my head slightly. She muttered, "Not thrilled, but this side of Rabbit is refreshingly cute," then parted her small lips to counter-question.
"Hmmm... So, why do you think the S-ranks obeyed your hypnosis?"
"Uh, yeah. Why? Those bitches who get itchy just seeing me... er, ladies."
"Placebo effect, obviously."
"Placebo effect...!"
She meant the phenomenon where faking a real pill improves symptoms via psychology...!
"That actually sounds plausible... like hell it does! What kinda nonsense is that? Even from you, that's crossing the line."
I nearly bought her casual delivery, but no way. Who in their right mind sees a fake app flashing colors and thinks, "Oh, hypnosis! Gotta obey Paster from now on!" and self-hypnotizes? And all the S-ranks? Absurd.
"Might as well say they're hardcore masochists who secretly adore me, pretending to be hypnotized to follow orders! Haha!"
Her placebo claim was such bullshit, it fueled my ridiculous joke. But for some reason, hearing it, Dr. Emme clamped her mouth shut, eyes wide, frozen like I'd nailed her.
...What?