Sophia's Breast Therapy (1)
Meschu's minion, already eliminated early and sitting in the spectator stands, gazed at Yohan in pure admiration.
What an incredible guy!
He himself was the textbook male ideal of Planet Meschu. Twintails that symbolized a man's cuteness. A compact, delicately featured face that was masculine by their standards. Before becoming a minion, his photos had circulated all over the internet. Climbing clubs had even gained fans simply because he belonged to them.
He had never once been dissatisfied with his looks or his style—except, every so often, when he stumbled across a post that was almost certainly written by a man.
Being adored by women was fun, but reading comments from other men always dragged him into sage mode.
Maybe I should change up my style a little?
That was exactly when Meschu had summoned him. His combat power was nothing special, but he possessed a charm that captivated men and women alike—and that was reason enough. Battles terrified him, yet the skill he'd received upon becoming a minion, Swoon, let him freeload his way through most of them. It was especially effective on women. He'd once cast it on a married woman and nearly gotten jumped for his trouble, but somehow he'd wriggled free.
After that, he'd completely abandoned any lingering attachment to the boycrush look—until he watched Yohan fight, and a fierce hunger stirred inside him again.
Cheerleader stared at the powerful man. On Meschu's planet, a man like that would have been a planet-wide superstar.
"Yohan… um… look… I don't really know how to say this, but… don't you think you might need some psychiatric help?"
"Mad Demon. Once the madness has soaked into the marrow of your bones, it is already too late. Why not seek peace of mind and body through meditation and the like?"
"Mad Demon was so cool! I'm gonna make girls later too! Swish! Swish-swish!!"
"Whoosh… whoosh-whoosh…"
Here was a man fretted over by an alpha-female goddess who looked like she'd have men trailing after her even on her own planet, and by a vampire who was the very picture of a strong woman. The children, spitting images of their father, swung their little fists at Yohan's feet with whooshing punches. Cheerleader had always been negative about marriage, but looking at those kids, he suddenly found himself wanting it.
A man that magnificent must have built himself a happy home.
"Grrr!! How could I lose!!!"
He would have loved to keep watching, but an enraged Meschu stormed out of the Colosseum. Back in the Divine Realm alongside him, Cheerleader closed his eyes and burned the image of his idol into his mind.
Even naked, he was incredible.
How much effort must it have taken to forge a body like that? As a fellow man, he was genuinely in awe. Like a boy who'd just fallen for an idol, he catalogued every one of Yohan's achievements—then opened the community boards.
Cheerleader mostly hung out on the humans-only forum. Men from gender-reversed worlds were still scraping the bottom of the rankings, but Cheerleader sat at a lofty forty-first place, which made the superiority complex delicious.
He logged in carefully, scanning for any posts by a human named "Carverworld," and then it hit him.
Yohan fought naked!
Carverworld was the author of "Strip Naked and Fight for Easy Battle Wins," a post that had dominated the community's hot board for a full week. Cheerleader had always assumed Carverworld was a woman. A man, after all, was not supposed to casually bare his skin in front of other women. He'd figured some washed-up female who'd never even seen a man's body before becoming a minion had pulled a filthy stunt—until he saw Yohan and realized how wrong he'd been.
Yohan was Carverworld!
Naked battle was genuinely effective. Hadn't Level-1 Yohan just beaten a Level-2 Mesgaki? Mesgaki was Meschu's proudest, strongest minion—someone who'd fought hundreds of battles and lost fewer than ten. Beating that Mesgaki proved the utility of naked combat. "Utility" was too small a word. It deserved to be called a grand strategy.
Maybe I should shed a little shame myself?
Cheerleader's combat uniform already left his thighs completely bare. He'd covered his upper body diligently out of modesty, but… a graceful shoulder line and a hint of collarbone cleavage were worth considering. And… he would switch his underwear to pretty panties!
I can't be the only one who knows about Yohan.
The way a hardcore fan tries to convert a muggle into a fellow devotee, Cheerleader wanted to spread the gospel of Yohan's greatness. Thanks to Carverworld—thanks to Yohan—he'd already learned how to farm aggro. Getting lured in by a spicy title only to cough blood had been an educational experience.
The title was solid enough. Just text would get him flagged as bait, so he needed proof photos too. Fortunately, Meschu's cheer squad carried cameras—orders to shoot cool highlights and upload them to the community. As a favored minion, Cheerleader had one as well. Sorting through the shots, he selected the so-called A-cut: a single frame that captured both Yohan's magnificence and Mesgaki's disgraceful collapse.
He didn't worry about Meschu finding out. Gods couldn't see their minions' community boards! Even if Meschu somehow learned of it, he'd just assume some sidelined minion who couldn't enter battle had posted it. He would never suspect Cheerleader himself.
"Attach photo… write post… done!"
And so, in days to come, male minions would shudder at the birth of a community tactical nuclear weapon—Me-.
Cheerleader was buried under a mountain of comments and death threats, but he was never permanently banned. The female community moderator simply loved recommended posts too much. Cheerleader, blissfully ignorant of the real reason, just smiled to himself.
Even the admin saw Yohan's charm.
Sophia's room had been upgraded from a goshiwon cubicle to something approaching a studio apartment. The goddess—whose breasts were larger than the giant earth spirit—sat face-to-face with her minion.
"Yohan. Calmly, repeat after me. I will not have sex with men."
"Isn't that obvious? I'm not gay!"
"I will also not cut off a man's genitals and insist he is a woman."
"Sophia!"
Sophia clamped her hands over her ears. Yohan's bellow was so loud it stung.
"Mesgaki was a woman! I simply restored the femininity she had lost!"
Sophia let out a long sigh. Mesgaki had been rather cute. It was understandable that Yohan might have been confused. But he had been, beyond any doubt, a man.
"Let's stay calm and try again. I will not have sex with men."
"I'm not gay, so of course I harbor no desire to have sex with men. And Mesgaki was a woman."
Sophia sighed for what felt like the hundredth time.
This one's not ready yet.
Better to tackle something else first.
"Then let's put it this way. I will not wrap myself in divine power and claim it is Naked Armor."
Having witnessed Yohan's Naked Armor, Sophia still couldn't decide whether to be angry or delighted. Reinforcing the body with divine power was a traditional holy-knight application of the energy. Yohan had combined that tradition with his Iron Man talent and forged an entirely new technique. For a minion who'd only just learned the craft, it was a genuine achievement—something to celebrate.
But naming it Naked Armor is absolutely not allowed!
Sophia had originally only governed the domain of healing. She'd expected it would take a good few centuries before she acquired a new one. But strong results in the Newbie League preseason had given her a gut feeling that a new domain was coming soon.
If I pick up several minor domains, they'll evolve into a shared major domain, so I shouldn't get anything too wildly different.
But what if—just what if—her minion's disposition influenced the new domain, and she ended up with something like [Nudity], [Exhibitionism], or [Perversion]? Or what if Yohan, who would hit Level 2 any day now, actually acquired a skill called Naked Armor?
Sophia was not prepared to live in that reality.
"But Sophia! Naked Armor was a genuinely effective skill!"
"It's not a skill yet. Don't call it a skill—I'm terrified the words will make it real."
Yohan blinked, slightly thrown by the goddess's iron resolve.
"Understood. But Naked Armor is a truly captivating form of holy magic. You know that too, Sophia."
"I do?"
Sophia was genuinely baffled. She, who diligently wore clothes every day—why on earth would she know the charms of Naked Armor? She was not an exhibitionist pervert like Yohan.
"Today your panties were—"
"Stop!!"
Sophia smacked her minion's mouth shut. While Yohan activated Self-Healing to mend his cracked teeth, she hastily hid the panties hanging on the drying rack.
"Okay, okay… o-okay. Don't panic. Stay calm. Just follow what I say."
"Are you all right?"
Yohan was genuinely worried about her. A goddess whose face had gone completely scarlet, tears welling at the corners of her eyes, was absolutely someone to worry about.
"Repeat after me!"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I will not wrap divine power around my naked body and call it Naked Armor."
"I will not wrap… around my naked body… and call it that."
"I will not get naked in front of men."
"But what if a situation forces me to strip? When that robot hit me with its laser, I ended up naked too."
Sophia said nothing. She simply glared. A flinching Yohan parroted her words.
"Good. I'll trust you to keep that promise."
"We're done now, right?"
Yohan started to stand. Sophia promptly shoved him back into his seat.
"We still haven't done the psychological treatment."
"Wasn't that just now the psychological treatment?"
"Absolutely not!"
Sophia was the Goddess of Healing. She did not dress up half-baked nonsense as therapy.
A treatment method designed solely for Yohan—to cure his madness.
Earth's medical knowledge and the wisdom her divine authority poured into her settled into place. From among them, she selected the most suitable approach. She took Yohan's hands in hers and guided them to her chest.
"When a man touches breasts, he forgets his worries and reaches a state of emotional stability. So… this is treatment."
"I understand perfectly."
A grin tugging at his mouth, Yohan began kneading Sophia's breasts. She had permitted her minion's hands more than once already, yet the heat still flooded the body of the Goddess of Fire as if she would never grow used to it.
Even if Yohan did something weird, he still won. This is treatment and a reward.
Sophia repeated the mantra to herself, fighting not to surrender to the flames.
"Sophia. My cock hurts. Please treat this too."
"…Fine."
Yohan had expected her to take him in her mouth. The goddess, however, was bolder than his expectations. She slid his large, hard cock straight between her breasts.
"This is treatment and nothing more… so don't get any other ideas."