Dad Is Awesome! (4)
Primordial Village turned out to be a far more entertaining place than I'd expected. On my first visit I'd only hit the alleys, the blacksmith, and the hunting grounds, so I hadn't realized just how much there was to enjoy.
"Coconut juice."
"Here."
"Apple candy for Lan-lan-i."
"Here you go."
All I had to do was say the word and Sophia would fetch the snacks on her own. So this was the taste of power…? Lan-lan-i, who'd built a nest in my hair, yanked fistfuls of it in pure delight.
"Mad Demon is the best! Move forward! Eeeek!"
She grabbed my hair like a control stick and shoved it straight ahead. I couldn't see her face, but she had to look adorable.
Every passerby was watching us with the same fond expression. Wait. Was that glaring bastard a beta male?
"Sophia-nim. Isn't that a beta male?"
"What's a beta male?"
"A loser who calls himself an alpha male. The opposite of alpha male is beta male, so that's what I call them."
"If it's the opposite of alpha male, wouldn't that be alpha female?"
"Pffft!"
Cheonsol clamped a hand over her mouth and snickered. The girl who always went hoho with that refined little laugh was doing that? Compared to her usual self, this was full-on rolling-on-the-floor territory.
"When a banana laughs, it's a banana kick."
"I have no idea what thou art saying."
Cheonsol's world didn't have those yellow snacks, so the joke didn't land. My pride wouldn't let me drop it there. I'd have to stockpile dad jokes that would actually work on her.
"Yohan. Are you going to start giving me money soon?"
My faithful errand girl Sophia attempted a rebellion.
"A goddess… talking back?"
"A goddess talking back my ass! Just because you earned a little divinity, you've gotten way too full of yourself! Stop yapping and hand it over!"
Sophia transformed into a mugger on the spot. The way she cocked one hip and thrust out her hand like a schoolyard bully had a weirdly seasoned air to it. Had she shaken kids down when she was little?
No. Her face was flushed bright red, so she was clearly forcing herself through the embarrassment. No way our Sophia-nim had ever been a bully.
If she'd been shaking people down, she wouldn't be living this poor.
"A minion's divinity is the master's divinity!"
"Did you hear that? Looks like that goddess doesn't even give her minion an allowance."
"Oh dear."
A tentacle-shaped god and a skeleton god were talking trash behind her back. Moisture gathered in Sophia's eyes. If I kept this up, she was going to cry.
"Lan-lan-i, you see that? This is Daddy's power."
"Master is clinging to Mad Demon! Mad Demon is cool!"
"Not Mad Demon — Daddy."
"I like Mad Demon!"
Fine, just stop yanking my hair already. Even if I don't have any bald genetic ancestors, I'm still a little worried.
Come to think of it, when I used self-healing, the hair that had burned off regenerated too, right? No need to worry about going shiny-bald.
"I'll give it to you now. But how do I transfer it?"
"Just shake hands and think about giving the divinity."
"Like this?"
Transfer 8,000,000 divinity to Newbie Trainer — Sophia?
It handled everything automatically. Sophia, who'd been looking pleased, read the message and shot me a suspicious glance.
"Um… Yohan? A little less came through than I expected…"
"I need pocket money too. Cheonsol. Hold out your hand."
"Does this lady also receive divinity?"
"Obviously. You've got to have things you want to buy."
"Mad Demon…"
A moved Cheonsol gave me a back hug. Hmm… eighty points. An affectionate back hug, so the emotional satisfaction was high, but the volume left a lot to be desired.
If Sophia hadn't already taught me what massive tits felt like, this would've been a perfect hundred. Shame.
"Your husband is this capable of a man. Praise me more."
"Hoho. It is reassuring to see thee unchanged. But it is fine. The things this lady desires, thou hast already crafted for her. And a man ought to hold the purse strings."
"Cheonsol…"
The eighty-point back hug was hereby upgraded. Her chest might be small, but her heart was richer than anyone's. Wait — Cheonsol's planet was basically a gender-reversed world, wasn't it?
The warmth had cooled a little, but I was still moved. I wished Sophia would take notes.
"Doesn't Lan-lan-i need allowance?"
"Hmm. Ten thousand divinity would be nice."
"Why?"
"I want to eat that!"
Lan-lan-i excitedly pointed at a blood-clot skewer. This insane village wasn't selling blood-clot hangover soup — they were selling actual chunks of congealed blood on sticks.
"It looks truly delicious…"
"Cheonsol?"
"The merchant selling those skewers understands a Vampir's nature far too well. Will Mad Demon not have one as well?"
"Even if blood-clot soup is my favorite hangover cure, that is a hard pass…"
A Vampir and a half-Vampir were staring holes through me, so I was going to have to buy them. I moved however Lan-lan-i tugged my hair and arrived in front of the stall.
"Mad Demon robot! Forward!"
"Whirr. Chicken. Whirr. Chicken."
"Divinity, please!"
Our Lan-lan-i using polite speech. She was so cute my heart actually hurt. The pointed-eared, pointed-fanged man running the stall also put on a dad smile.
"Welcome. Your daughter is truly adorable."
"Right? Then two blood-clot skewers…"
Suddenly I remembered a custom from a neighboring country. I'd heard they had a cute tradition of sending little kids on their first errand. Could our Lan-lan-i do it?
I picked her up and set her on top of the stall counter.
Transferred 20,000 divinity to Half-Vampir — Lan-lan-i.
"Mad Demon?"
"Lan-lan-i, buy them yourself."
"Mad Demon is the best!"
She planted a kiss on the back of my hand and excitedly held out her palm.
"Two blood-clot skewers!"
"Use polite speech."
"Please!"
"Hhk!"
Sophia and Cheonsol, who'd been watching with rapt interest, both clutched their hearts. More precisely, Sophia grabbed her tits.
Her mammaries were simply too massive for her hands to reach her heart in a straight line.
"Just a moment, please."
"Okay!"
The stallkeeper grilled two skewers in an instant. But why did each skewer have twice the usual amount of blood clot on it?
"This one's for the cute little Lan-lan-i. This one's for Mom."
"Waaah!"
He'd piled on the free extras because Lan-lan-i was so adorable. Honestly, I would've given her extras too.
Lan-lan-i took the skewers, thought hard for a moment, then held out the one with more meat on it to Cheonsol.
"Lan-lan-i. That one is not thine."
"Mom is big, so she has to eat more!"
"She's too precious. How did a daughter like that come from Yohan?"
I now understood exactly what Sophia-nim thought of me. How rude.
"Lan… Lan-i…"
"I like the small one!"
"This mother is fine without eating much. She can simply drink Mad Demon's blood."
"Then can Lan-lan-i eat the big one?"
She only referred to herself in the third person when she was being cute. Adorable.
"Indeed."
"Waaah! I really love Mom!"
"What about Dad?"
"I really love Mad Demon too!"
Failed to get called Daddy again this time. If I kept at it, it'd stick eventually.
After a fun tour of the village, we returned to the Divine Realm. It was just a single house sitting alone in the divine space, but it felt as warm as coming home.
Home really was the best.
"Haaawn…"
Worn out from the long outing, Lan-lan-i nodded off with a big yawn.
"I'll put her to bed and come back."
"Go ahead."
Once Cheonsol went inside the house, only Sophia and I were left.
"Sophia-nim. Spit it out. Why did you say that about me?"
"Huh? What are you talking about all of a sudden?"
Sophia, who'd been unable to resist diving into the community forums the second we got back, flinched hard.
"What's wrong with my character? She takes after her dad, so of course Lan-lan-i turned out kind."
"Umm. Yohan. Did you maybe injure your conscience?"
A twenty-second-century Korean's conscience is modular. Like a rabbit that walks around with its liver removed, I can attach and detach it whenever I feel like it.
"I even turned down a five-hundred-million-divinity offer and chose Sophia-nim, and you shake me down for money. I'm deeply disappointed."
"Uh, uhhh?"
She clearly hadn't thought that far. Sophia flailed her arms and legs in a panic, and her tits bounced so hard it was genuinely hypnotic.
Good deeds deserve rewards. I needed something bigger than a "good job" stamp.
"That's right. Our Yohan trusted me, and that's why he didn't go to Graham. It was truly moving. Honestly the gap was so big I couldn't have blamed you if you'd left, and yet you still chose me."
"It's nothing. We made a promise, didn't we?"
"Ah."
Sophia's face went pale blue.
"Aaaah?"
"Sophia-nim."
I pulled her into a tight hug so she couldn't run. Warmth and soft breasts settled into my arms. Holding her always felt this good. She even smelled nice, befitting a goddess.
"W-wait, Yohan. It's not that I don't like you, but, you know. M-mentally preparing…"
"You still need to prepare?"
I deployed the classic art of misdirection. I brought my lips right up to her ear as if to kiss it and whispered while kneading her ass.
Squish.
I'd expected it to be soft like the fat of her chest, but it was more elastic than I thought. The moment my hand touched it, she tensed and clenched — and even then it wasn't hard, just springy and yielding.
"Hiiik?"
"Feel that? You made me hard, Sophia-nim."
To completely scramble her brain, I rubbed my stiffened cock against her. Sophia felt it through her thighs and tried to push me away.
But no strength went into her arms, so the attempt failed. Judging by her reaction, even if sex was off the table, other things were still on the menu.
What should I make her do? Better something she could enjoy too, rather than just solving my lust. I had to tear down the wall in her heart before she'd ever say something like, Yohan, want to have sex?
An act that could close the distance between a man and a woman in one stroke… Perfect. Decision made.
"You don't want sex?"
"I'm still a little scared…"
"How about a kiss?"