Pretty Baby Vampir (1)
I sat down beside Sophia to check Lan-lan-i's status window, and Cheonsol crept over carefully and bit into my neck. Sophia nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Yohan! Cheonsol bit you!"
"Didn't you just hear her? She needs my blood to make breast milk. If it means Lan-lan-i can drink, she can take as much of my blood as she wants."
"Mad Demon..."
Lan-lan-i looked up at me, eyes sparkling with pure emotion. A Thumbelina-sized baby staring up with those big, bright eyes was almost unfairly cute.
"Lan-lan-i. Won't you call me Daddy?"
"Not Mad Demon...?"
Lan-lan-i pouted. Cheonsol, still latched on and sucking blood with soft little noises, gave my side a light pinch.
"Of course I'm Mad Demon! But you can still call me Daddy, right?"
"Mad Demon!!"
If that's what she likes, fine... The moment I gave up on one thing, Sophia latched on with another question.
"So sucking blood lets her make breast milk? How did you know that?"
"Cheonsol and I have spent plenty of time together. I asked her ages ago."
"Th-that..."
Sophia's gaze flicked toward the bed, then snapped back in a hurry.
"I see..."
"Why do you look so disappointed?"
Don't tell me Sophia wanted to drink Cheonsol's milk too? Even between women, was a chest that hard to resist?
"Don't worry. Luckily, Cheonsol has two of them."
"What kind of outrageous nonsense is that!"
"You pervert!"
Strange. I'd said it for Sophia's sake, and somehow I was the one getting chewed out. Women's minds were beyond me.
"Kyarr!"
As long as Lan-lan-i was happy, that was enough.
"Let's just look at the status window."
"Mm. Okay."
I pressed myself against her soft arm, and Sophia flushed as she shared the status window.
Name:Lan-lan-i
"Hold on. Why is her name Lan-lan-i?"
"Indeed. It should be 'Lan-lan,' not 'Lan-lan-i.' And that was merely a temporary name in the womb — to mistake it for her true name... Even divine authority can be hard to accept at times."
"Lan-lan-i... not Lan-lan-i?"
"Of course our Lan-lan-i is Lan-lan-i! Drink this mother's milk."
"Waaah! Mommy's the best!"
Cheonsol opened the front of her clothes, and Lan-lan-i latched on with pure delight. Wait — earlier she said she couldn't undress by herself...! And I have a mouth too. I could happily go for some chest-sucking myself.
"Looks like Lan-lan-i likes her name just fine."
"Yeah. Guess we don't need to change it."
"Heh. Such vigor. She nurses well — Lan-lan-i will make a fine Vampir."
Is she even a proper Vampir? I finished checking the rest of the status window.
Race:Half-Vampir
Human mixed with Vampir, so Half. Real creative there.
Level Correction:Stage 1 (Childhood)
"What's this Childhood thing?"
"A long time ago, some insane god used to send little kids into battle just to farm stacks. So they made a separate Childhood stage — you can't put anyone into battle until they reach adulthood."
"What an excellent rule!"
I'd been worried about running into minors in battle. Now I could use Impregnating without a single care in the world.
"Once they pass Childhood and hit the Growth stage, you can train them too! Train them well and they can even level up!"
"Hold on a second."
Childhood and Growth stage. Those words were way too familiar.
"Is there a Mature stage, a Perfect form, an Ultimate form too?"
"No? Once they're adults you don't need any of that, so it ends at Growth stage. Why would you need those?"
"I was worrying over nothing, then."
Lan-lan-i wouldn't be doing any dark evolutions. Time to check what talents she'd inherited.
Iron Man, Blood Seed
"She got two talents! And one of them is Iron Man!"
"She inherited this lady's Blood Seed as well! How truly admirable!"
Cheonsol and I shouted at the same time.
"What's Blood Seed?"
"What exactly is Iron Man?"
"Jji-jji-ppong."
"Jji-jji-ppong? You're spouting nonsense again."
She didn't know that? The Vampir world really was bleak.
"It's Earth language for husband and wife as one body."
"Forgive the misunderstanding. This lady thought you were fondling breasts."
"It's fine. That kind of thing happens."
"What..."
Cheonsol, who knew just enough about Earth culture to be dangerous, shot me a look of pure disbelief. Sophia, hush. The Forest of Dreams. There are some things in this world better left unknown.
Sophia, not entirely dense, shut her mouth, and Cheonsol began her explanation.
"Blood Seed, rendered directly into your tongue, means the Seed of Blood. But do not take the word 'seed' lightly. It is the minimum qualification required to challenge for the position of Cult Leader."
"Oh. Kind of like the old saying that even kings and generals spring from common stock?"
"In our world the Cult Leader is king, so yes — similar. Of course, remaining a mere Blood Seed is not enough. The seed must germinate, sprout, and bloom. Upon blooming, it develops according to one's aptitude into forms such as Blood Flower or Blood Tree. For reference, this lady was born with Blood Flower."
Grand explanation, and I still didn't get it. What was the actual difference? Sensing my confusion, Cheonsol elaborated.
"Blood Seed is the stage of accumulating blood. How much blood one drinks during this period determines the volume of blood one can command at once."
"So you drank a lot of blood as a kid too?"
"Regrettably, this lady was born a commoner's child, and could only accumulate what the villagers pooled together drop by drop. The quality of the blood was poor as well. That is why I require the aid of the skill Absolu granted me simply to handle as much blood as I did in our first battle."
"Then what about Lan-lan-i?"
"What is there to worry about? Is she not already drinking milk fused from your blood and this lady's? The quantity may be small, but it is brimming with vital blood energy — a single feeding can produce an effect equal to dozens of condensed blood essences. And one may also purchase high-ranking minion blood from the Market."
"Urgh..."
We were already broke, and now another money sink had appeared. The poverty goddess let out a groan. When we both looked at her, she forced a bright face.
"It's fine! For our Lan-lan-i, I'll buy any blood she needs!"
"Then what about phoenix blood? It's excellent for building fire resistance."
"That's a bit expensive... Sorry..."
"No, I was being greedy."
"Uuurgh..."
If this were a game and I were the commentator, I'd have bellowed it with gusto. That's so Sophia! She's beyond saving!
"Let's check skills too..."
"This lady is also curious about the detailed effects of Iron Man. I had my guesses from watching Mad Demon, but now it is Lan-lan-i's talent as well."
"Well, uh. It's hard to explain, but basically you're a lot tougher, stronger, don't tire easily, a sturdy body with a healthy mind living in it — you know, that kind of thing."
"Meaning high physical durability and anti-magic resistance, superior bodily capabilities compared to those without the talent, a robust mental barrier, and reduced mental consumption so that magic and skills can be used without fatigue?"
"Exactly! Cheonsol, you're so smart!"
Was Sophia actually the dumb one here? Swap the goddess and the minion and I wouldn't have a word of complaint.
Belatedly realizing she knew less than her own minion, Sophia wordlessly enlarged the skill window. Even she must have been embarrassed. I decided not to tease her and just move on.
Self-Healing (A)
Rapid Growth (S)
"Two skills. I know Self-Healing, but what's Rapid Growth?"
"It's a Childhood-exclusive skill, and it's S-rank! So that's why she was born so fast! It gives a growth correction — she'll grow quickly, and her chances of acquiring talents and skills will be way higher! But it disappears once she becomes an adult."
"So effectively she only has Self-Healing."
"She received a broken skill and you're fretting over that? Frankly, without that skill, this lady would very likely have won our battle."
She wasn't wrong. She was so right I wanted to hit her, but Lan-lan-i was still nursing, so I held back. Beating up Mom in front of the baby was bad for family education.
Why? Kids raised in unhappy homes tend to go sideways. Looking at how cute Lan-lan-i was, she was guaranteed to grow into a beauty — and I did not want to hear things like "I hate Daddy! I'm running away!"
At the very least I wanted to hear "I want to marry Daddy!"
"This lady considers it fortunate she has even one skill. Polish the Blood Seed and skills will increase. So all we need do is raise Lan-lan-i well."
"Right! During Childhood and Growth stage, the skill acquisition rate is high!"
"Nice."
May Lan-lan-i grow up fast and become an excellent minion.
"Buuurp."
Watching her pull away from a pink nipple and burp, though... when was she going to grow up? Wait, had she gotten a little bigger?
"Cheonsol. Hasn't Lan-lan-i gotten bigger than before? She was definitely thumb-sized earlier, but now she's bigger than two fingers put together."
"She drank milk — of course she has. She's still far too small. She will keep growing until she matches her physical age."
"That's a relief."
If she'd stayed that size forever, my conscience would have been in trouble. I hoped she'd grow up soon.
I kept that thought to myself, knowing Cheonsol and Sophia would look at me with pure contempt if I said it out loud — but Cheonsol's sharp eyes pinned me anyway.
"What are you thinking?"
"Just that Lan-lan-i is really cute."
"Good. This lady thought you were coveting the milk Lan-lan-i is drinking."
"Well, that is a little tempting."
Cheonsol, who had been patting Lan-lan-i's back, hastily pulled her top back on. Come on — it was made from my blood anyway, so why be so stingy? If there's any left, just give it to me.
"Haaawn."
"Is our Lan-lan-i sleepy?"
"Mm-mm."
"Heh. How adorable. Sleep in this mother's arms."
"Mad Demon..."
Cheonsol's eyelids trembled with pure shock.
"Do you dislike this mother's embrace?"
"Like Mommy... like Mad Demon too..."
"Do you like Mother more, or Mad Demon more?"
"Mm..."
"Stop bullying the kid and hand her over."
Already pulling the "Mommy or Daddy" routine. What a hopeless doting parent. Cheonsol handed Lan-lan-i over with extreme reluctance.
"Heehee. Like Mad Demon. Warm."
"Never has this lady so bitterly resented being a Vampir. How unjust."
"Don't get so worked up over that. You've been holding her this whole time, so of course she wanted a turn in Daddy's arms too."
"There is reason in that."
"Haaawn..."
Lan-lan-i yawned and drifted off, breathing soft and even. A tiny baby wriggling in the palm of my hand was so cute and precious. So this was how daughter-obsessed fathers were born.
I made the vow again. There was no way I was handing a daughter this adorable over to some random punk. Cheonsol and I were gazing at Lan-lan-i's sleeping face when Sophia suddenly blurted something out of nowhere.
"Lan-lan-i's been born, but Al-al-i still hasn't. I wonder if Dohoyo's egg has hatched yet?"
"What an excellent idea! Let's contact Dohoyo right away!"
"Huh?! Why?"
Obviously because I wanted to see Evrande after all this time. Honestly, minions should get community access rights too. We'd had sex and she'd even given birth — and I still couldn't so much as see her face or talk to her.
Saying I wanted to see another woman in front of Cheonsol was a bad look, so I cooked up a plausible excuse.
"Obviously because I want to show off Lan-lan-i."
"Oh, right! I'll contact Dohoyo right now!"
Persuasion this easy... Was she going to get scammed somewhere? Nothing for it. Educating a goddess was a minion's job. I'd keep teasing her often and build up her resistance.