Practice Battle (1)

"Goddess."

A slender white finger tapped the floor in irritation. When a goddess sulked, it was a genuine pain in the neck.

I picked up the string telephone from the floor and spoke into the paper cup.

"Goddess Sophia."

"What. You pervert."

"It's not like I chose this skill on purpose. Just talk to me normally already."

"A-and then you'll try to impregnate me too? You're a minion! I'm a goddess!"

Sophia set the string telephone down and crossed her arms over her chest in an X, shielding herself.

Oh, come on. That's crossing a line. How long is she going to stay mad? Were real-life women always this exhausting? One sulk and it was completely unmanageable.

If I had more experience, I could smooth this over — but talking to a woman for the first time since graduation made everything harder. What was I even supposed to do?

Might as well throw something out there.

"I will never use this skill on you, Goddess. I promise."

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Pinky promise. We don't even know how the skill activates yet."

"You mean it?"

Sophia set the string telephone aside. She exhaled, steeled herself with a look of firm resolve, and held out her hand.

"Hurry up and lock pinkies."

"Yes, ma'am."

I hooked my pinky with hers. I'd noticed it when I helped her up earlier, too — her hand was absurdly soft. Soft enough to make me wonder if she was some kind of invertebrate.

"Stamp it, too."

"Of course, of course."

Once our thumbs pressed together as well, Sophia's expression brightened noticeably. She wasn't a little kid — and yet something this trivial was enough to dissolve her anger?

Well, good either way. We were goddess and minion; we couldn't keep locking horns forever.

"By the way, can't you check the skill description in the status window?"

"Ah."

"Ah?"

"I completely forgot..."

You've got to be kidding me. She had a way to check this whole time and just sulked blindly instead?

"Don't look at me like that! I was panicking, okay?! It was an S-class skill, so I had high hopes, and then it was just... Impregnating..."

"Yeah, yeah."

"You're not mad, right?"

Only now seeming to grasp how ridiculous she'd been acting, Sophia peered up at me with those big, round eyes. Her face was genuinely beautiful. And the subtle glimpse of cleavage made me want to forgive her for just about anything.

As payment for forgiveness, could I maybe slip my cock into that cleavage? If I said that out loud, Sophia would flip out again. A shame — I'd have to wait for a better opening.

"Let's just check the skill."

"I'm sorry. That was my fault..."

"If you really feel bad, you could at least hold my hand."

"Your hand? Why your hand?"

"After what just happened, you probably don't want a kiss. So just the hand."

"If I hold your hand, you'll forgive me?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

I took Sophia's hand. Not content with that, I casually pressed my shoulder against hers. The moment skin brushed skin through the thin fabric, she flinched.

"D-do we really need to sit like this...?"

"We have to look at the status window together. Check the skill description for me."

"Fine..."

Sophia tried to act casual as she adjusted the status screen, but she couldn't stop her palm from growing damp.

Just holding hands and she's this conscious of me? Cute. You could tell she had zero experience with men. The goddess was probably a virgin. Which meant that when my wish came true, it'd be the day I broke a goddess's hymen.

I'd better fight hard in these battles. Deflowering a goddess was not something I could pass up.

"Check the skill!"

Impregnating was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a broken skill. Anyone ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠who'd ever played a game about hatching eggs for high-stat offspring — or even anyone who hadn't — could tell this was ridiculously overpowered.

Find women, and every ninety days I could pump out minions like a factory. If I knocked up a dwarf, I could even produce a half-dwarf with craftsmanship talents worth half a billion.

"It's a good skill. And it doesn't impregnate someone just by making eye contact, the way you were worried about."

"Mm. Yeah."

Sophia didn't seem able to focus on the status window. I'd already gotten used to it, but she was still hung up on the hand-holding.

From a guy's perspective, it was an extremely satisfying reaction. When she finally finished reading the skill description and her hand twitched, our fingers naturally interlaced.

"Um... Yohan..."

"Yeah?"

"My hand's getting really sweaty. Can we let go soon?"

"Are you embarrassed?"

"N-no! That's not it! I just feel like we've held on long enough..."

"You're embarrassed."

Sophia couldn't argue and shut her mouth. Seeing her face go bright red only made me want to tease her more.

"You're really cute, Goddess. The cutest girl I've ever seen."

"Stop it..."

"..."

"..."

"Just kill me..."

"Should we keep holding hands?"

"Mm-hmm."

The atmosphere had gotten weird. That fluttery feeling in my chest — was this what popular people called "something going on"? Just holding hands already felt this soft and warm. What would a kiss feel like?

"Goddess."

"W-what?"

I said nothing and locked eyes with her. Staring straight through her, Sophia shyly looked away.

"What is it..."

"Your eyes are really pretty, too. Like gemstones."

I can't believe those cringey lines just came out of my mouth. My grip tightened on reflex, and Sophia twitched like a startled cat.

Whether she liked the compliment or not, my face was reflected in her eyes. Was this a kissing angle or what?

I was slowly closing the distance when a transparent screen popped up between us. Sophia reflexively clicked it, and a beautiful woman with long black hair appeared.

"Sophia!"

"Hyaaak!!"

Sophia recoiled from me in pure shock, then fanned her face furiously to cool the heat.

The beauty narrowed her eyes.

"Did I interrupt something? You were practically glued to some guy just now."

"My minion! He's my minion! We were finalizing a contract!"

"You do contracts pressed up against each other like that? You were holding hands, too."

"A handshake! It was a handshake!"

"Why are you yelling so much? Feeling guilty?"

"Uuuugh..."

Sophia trembled. Looking wronged and desperate for backup, she shot me a pleading glance — but honestly, I wanted to side with the black-haired beauty.

The reactions were too good. I wanted to keep teasing her forever.

"Anyway, Dohoyo. Why'd you call?"

"Changing the subject?"

"Why did you call!"

Sophia was getting angry. She looked awkward about it, like someone who'd never raised her voice in her life. She really was a kind goddess.

"I bought a minion to celebrate coming of age, too. How about a practice battle between us before we fight other trainers?"

"Huh?"

I hadn't known Sophia long, but she was such an open book that I could read her instantly. She was hooked. It was a hard offer to turn down.

"I'm confident."

"Really?"

"Your minion's got some spirit. Evrande. What about you?"

"I'm confident as well."

"Then shall we battle? I'll summon the arena."

"Let's do it!"

The moment Sophia shouted, the world around us transformed. What had been an endless black void became an arena that looked straight out of the Roman Colosseum.

"A human, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠huh?"

Dohoyo was a classic Eastern-style beauty. Her features were distinctly Asian, and so was her chest. In the bust department, our goddess had a crushing victory.

"Your minion's looking at me weird."

"W-what do you mean."

"Whatever. Taking a human as your first minion? Didn't you even read the newbie trainer guide?"

Sophia flinched. The elf standing proudly behind her victorious master looked at me with open smugness.

Like goddess, like minion. Pretty face, small chest. Once I finished the looks assessment, my eyes naturally drifted to her pointed ears.

A real elf. First one I'd ever seen. Being summoned by a goddess hadn't quite felt real — but seeing an elf drove home that I'd left ordinary life behind.

"Insolent human. What are you staring at?"

"Sizing up your opponent is basic warrior instinct. Guess you're not much of a warrior."

Sophia's eyes went round and her mouth opened and closed soundlessly. Reading her lips: Yohan isn't a warrior either... She couldn't even support her own minion, and she was hitting the nail on the head.

Dohoyo let out a small hum of appreciation.

"Ooh. Not bad for a human. At least he won't whine about not wanting to fight. This isn't the kind of talent your eye for talent could've caught — did you use a gacha ticket?"

"So what if I did!"

"Fair enough. With so little divine power, you couldn't afford a good minion. Raise a gacha pull well enough and you can still place decently in the fringe league prelims."

"I'm aiming for the Champions League!"

"With that minion?"

Watching Sophia get pushed around made me angry. She was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠naive and kind, which made teasing her fun — but she was still my goddess. Nobody got to look down on her.

"Starting with the trash talk already? Getting cold feet, maybe?"

The magic word that hit pride where it hurt. Cold feet. An all-purpose provocation that worked on men and women alike.

"W-what? Ha! How arrogant! Evrande! You can win, right?"

"Yes."

"Lady Sophia! We can't lose either!"

"Uh, uhh? W-what am I supposed to do?"

"Cheer for me!"

"Yohan, fighting...?"

Watching Sophia strike an awkward fighting pose filled me with courage. This battle — I absolutely could not lose.

"Alright! Let the battle begin!"

"Yohan? That's supposed to be my line..."

"Begin!"

"Yohaaan..."