Chapter 8
The emperor's dick must be cut off. I have two problems right now. The first is agonizing over whether the original me would have gotten the saintess's support at this point. Her showing up in my territory was probably 100% following the original plotline. Even though there's no way to confirm since Yuran and the saintess don't appear in it, I hadn't changed anything until my past-life memories kicked in after academy graduation. But these holy knights showing up... that was fifty-fifty.
Either she came like in the original, saw my territory, thought it looked like it needed help, and offered support. Or maybe there was no support originally, and I screwed up somehow to make this happen.
My screw-up...
I had no clue. Going to see the saintess and asking about divine power— wasn't that reasonable for a lord? The second part might've been a stretch. Still, even without my past-life memories, there's a good chance pre-transmigration me would've done the same. So, was there some other obvious mistake?
Beats me.
I just didn't want to cause any issues with the saintess, so I held back on sexual harassment. I only enjoyed her with my eyes. She keeps her eyes closed anyway, so no way she noticed.
"Anyway... let's table that for now."
I skip problems without quick answers. On to the second issue.
"Ahem..."
"Hmm..."
Stepping out of my office for a bit, I ran into the holy knights on the first floor. I'd given them empty rooms in the manor, so we'd be stuck together for a while...
Of all four, one had to be that holy knight from back then...
No, even the saintess—the actual victim of my lechery—let it slide, but these knights were glaring at me like I was trash. If she'd made a fuss, fine, but... hah.
...I know. I know the problem's me.
Tch. Not that I couldn't understand. Could a knight serving god really tolerate sexual harassment aimed at the so-called daughter of god? Judging by the awkward vibe, Gaban must've blabbed to all of them.
I racked my brain for a way out, but nothing good came up. I did say those things to the saintess, after all.
Dad wasn't kidding when he told me to watch my mouth before he died.
In this awkward atmosphere, I approached the holy knights. A normal person would've shut up and stayed quiet, but I needed to milk these free high-end laborers for all they were worth.
"Holy knights."
"...What is it?"
"Got a job for you."
I explained the immediate task: a population census for Toypus Earldom. It wouldn't take long if they hustled, since the numbers were low. I'd tried a few days ago, but no one opened their doors. With the saintess's recent visit, holy knights should have an easier time approaching the residents. It was essential for a lord anyway, but right now, it was critical for distributing the supplies they'd brought. The food was all non-perishables, but better safe than sorry.
"...Understood."
They seemed to grasp that part and obeyed without fuss. Even if I'd done shitty stuff in the past and they hated my guts, the pope and saintess had ordered them to follow my lead. No choice but to comply.
Though how long that'll last remains to be seen.
Holy knights were human too—weak to emotions. I could only hope the rift wasn't too deep.
*knock knock.*
"Holy knights from the Church here. Could you open up for a moment?"
Tecus rapped gently on the door that looked ready to crumble. Soon enough, the resident rushed out in a panic.
"H-Holy knight, sir. What brings you here...?"
The territory folk all stuttered like that. But no one was scared—just happy and cautious not to mess up.
"We're here for a quick population census to distribute relief supplies."
"Ah, a-ah..."
The woman's face, lit with joy at those words, suddenly darkened. Tears welled up like they might spill any second.
"Wh-what's wrong?"
"N-no, it's... *sniff*... we're just... one now."
"......"
Tecus and the others were flustered by her sudden tears but kept their cool. Partly thanks to a holy knight's composure, but mostly from experiences on the way here.
"Looks like..."
"Yeah."
Tecus affirmed his colleague's whisper. Cecily had left recently, so the count was low, but deaths had still happened in that time. Mostly frail kids and elders. And families like this burst into tears at the sight of holy knights.
"Thank you for cooperating with the census."
"N-no, thank you for coming. And... please thank the saintess for us. Thanks to her... our son, Patrick, didn't suffer... *sob*..."
"...Yes. I'll make sure to pass it on."
Tecus buried her words in his heart and turned away. If he saw Cecily later, he'd relay this gratitude. Even if it made her sad.
He couldn't hide such a heartbreaking request.
"...I never imagined a place like this existed."
Gaban muttered to Tecus on the way back to the manor. Tecus nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. I've seen warzones and worse, but this is no joke. Everyone's skin-and-bones, covered in sores. And so many lost kids or parents..."
"...You saw it too, right, Captain Tecus? The earl's perfectly healthy."
"...Looked well-fed, yeah."
"That guy...! Why is the saintess helping him of all people...!"
"Enough."
Tecus calmed Gaban's boiling emotions. He didn't disagree—not just him or Gaban, but all the knights felt the same. Yuran La Toypus. No sense of responsibility or ability as a lord. And per Gaban, he'd even made vulgar remarks to the saintess before. Yuran's approval rating among the knights had plummeted through the floor.
Still, Tecus stayed objective.
"The saintess wants to help the territory's people, not the earl. It must've tugged at her heart too much to just leave."
"...You're right. I spoke out of turn."
"Like it or not, we follow the earl's orders. That's the pope and saintess's will. But."
Yeah. They could obey the earl. But.
"If it's not for the people here, refuse it."
"...Yes, sir."
"And don't get too attached to this place."
"Pardon...?"
Tecus's words—help the people, but don't get emotionally invested. Gaban and the others looked puzzled.
"Even if we help, we can't change it. That's... just reality. Because..."
Gaban fell silent at Tecus's follow-up. It was a tragedy rooted in cold fact.
While the holy knights were out on census duty, I tinkered with my divine power.
-Kyuuuung...
Not just pulling it out around my body—I wrapped it around myself too. The amount was small, so only one arm for now, but the results were shocking. Just like Cecily wrote on that paper: my strength increased!
"Whoa, is this me...?"
I muttered at the desk shattered into pieces. The rickety old thing—tortured by fire orbs one too many times—finally gave out. Perfect for testing power buffs. So I threw a punch. Carefully, in case the floor cracked.
-Boom!
Not earth-shattering. Nothing like the knights' or Arthur's flashy feats. But.
Original me couldn't have smashed a desk in one go. Doing it now meant I'd grown. And it happened because my divine power had increased a bit.
"Weird. I didn't pray to your god or believe, so why'd it grow?"
-Kyuuung, kyuuuung...
I kneaded the slightly bigger Kyu-ing like slime. (For the record, that's the name I just gave it—after its constant kyuuung, kyuu noises. Pretty spot-on, if I do say so. Though it seemed pissed.)
What could it do? I'm the owner raising this pet bug. Name's my call. Seeing it grow made it feel real, so I named it.
"Kyu-ing."
-Kyuuuuing...
"Say kyuuung."
-Kyuuuung!
"Anyway, check this out. Reply from the imperial family."
A small golden paper envelope on the windowsill, replacing the broken desk. Sealed in the middle with imperial wax. It'd arrived silently—who knows when. Probably delivered by one of their messenger birds.
"Is this real gold? It sparkles."
The envelope had gold decorative patterns. Imperial family might actually use real gold. Worth keeping—and selling if it was.
-Crack.
-Snap.
I broke the wax and hurriedly checked the contents.
"......"
The content was brutally short. Nothing like the pope's long-winded letter—no polite fluff at all.
Denied.
This shitty novel world even had hanja. Setting's a mess. My own name's Yuran—"soft orchid," meant to grow gracefully or whatever. Hate that already. But seeing the imperial family use it in this curt, dismissive reply? Infuriating.
"......"
Before the saintess left, I'd made one last request.
You look tired. Rest up before you go.
She looked sleep-deprived, but...
I can't stay forever—I'm a saintess. And the North is...
She refused firmly, but I caught the hesitation. Couldn't hold her, though. Getting more entangled would've been bad—I knew that.
Instead, I did something original Yuran never would've: closed my eyes and asked.
Could you deliver this to the imperial family? If not, no biggie...
...Sure. I'll pass it on.
Thanks.
Hope it helps.
Me too.
I'd asked her to deliver my petition. Dug up academy etiquette I'd mostly forgotten. Tossed my pride out the window. Desperation... and knowing the reality all too well. I couldn't fix this alone. So I'd begged: Save these people, please.
She'd delivered it, and today's reply was the imperial no. I knew it'd be rejected. Knew the imperial family wouldn't help. Toypus Earldom is imperial territory—granted to our earl line. And they'd abandoned it long ago.
Meaning: to them, it might as well not exist. Population's pathetically low compared to other earldoms. Barely qualifies—couple villages glued together.
So I'd hoped against hope: our numbers are under 20% of normal earldoms, so help us evacuate to outside the desert.
And yeah, rejection was expected. Monster hordes make group travel impossible. Paths safe for small groups rile them up for big ones. We'd have to split the residents—costs time and money. If it were just that, the empire might've approved despite losses. But nope—the North's a mess right now. No manpower to spare for the monster-free west.
And the residents couldn't leave on their own. Even healthy adults take days. No way with the sick, kids, elders.
If it were easy, they'd have bailed ages ago.
"......"
-Kyuuung.
"What, comforting me?"
-Kyuuuung...
"It's fine, it's fine. Knew it'd be a no. I'll hustle solo... and milk these holy knights while I can."
I smiled at Kyu-ing. But inside...
The emperor's got all those hotties, huh. Fuck, gotta cut off the emperor's dick.
Chop it off so he can't roll with them. Or seduce his girls and make him cry while jerking off in defeat. Yeah, that'd do.