The Hero Who Deserted the Hero's Party
The word yongsa. A valiant person. Especially a term used for a brave soldier. But when most people hear the word “hero,” there’s one image that immediately comes to mind. The human champion who stands against the Demon King in those cliché fantasy comics or movies. The saintly hero who protects humanity alongside his trusty companions—what people call the hero’s party.
“Bullshit.”
Reality isn’t like that at all. If I’d been born and raised in this world, maybe I would’ve wagged my tail like a happy dog at the title of hero. But not me.
“I’m definitely not that guy.”
Every single day was overtime. I barely survived on mixed coffee and Monster energy drinks. Just your average, exhausted Korean salaryman. And then they suddenly hand me a holy sword and tell me to charge into a battlefield? Get the hell out of here.
Fight with a sword against monsters that don’t even exist on Earth? There’s no bigger load of crap than that.
“Hahahahahahaha!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was so absurd that laughter was all that came out. When I first saw a goblin, I actually pissed myself. Small stature, greenish skin. It wasn’t because I was scared. It was because I was sad.
“Hahaha…”
Those little shrimps had bigger dicks than me. How many women had they violated with those things? I was a thirty-year-old virgin who’d never even touched a woman in my entire life!
“Haha… ha… fuck my life.”
This wasn’t laughter from joy. It wasn’t from losing my mind either. And it definitely wasn’t jealousy because the goblin’s cock was way bigger than I’d expected. Honestly, I was scared at first, but the goblins died so easily that they stopped being a problem.
The real reason I was laughing right now was one thing only.
The hero’s party. These bastards who called themselves the hero’s companions pissed me off more than anything else.
“Oh! Taesik, you’re here!”
You’re here? My ass. I’ve been cleaning up the shit you’ve been leaving behind this whole time, you muscle-brained idiot, Ragner. Why the hell would you provoke a hobgoblin? Did you even take the quest? If the guild was paying, sure. But you didn’t, did you? When the other two ran away, you ran with them, right? What, did you think they’d do something for you if you went along? You barbarian moron.
Calling yourself a warrior when you can’t even fight properly? You’re just blinded by women. Fine. Want me to send you straight to Odin’s side like you’ve always wanted?
“…Why are you only coming now?”
“You’re too late!”
Wow.
“…Ha.”
Seriously.
“What? What’s with that sigh?”
Here we go again. I could tell from that look in her eyes. It was about to start. I’d gone along with it once or twice, and now they thought I was their damn slave. Wasn’t there a saying that if you keep giving favors, people start thinking it’s their right? There’s no sentence more dogshit than that. Truly.
“Hehe, why don’t you come massage our shoulders already?”
“I won’t.”
“That dull answer is not to my liking. Are you sulking because we didn’t thank you?”
I’m not.
“Hehe, then should I thank you? Good work, Taesik. Now come over here and massage my shoulders. They’re sore from all that running.”
That’s because your tits are so damn big.
“…Sister, look over here.”
“Hm?”
“…Pay attention to me.”
Ha. This is ridiculous. And it’s fucking pathetic.
At first, I’d been captivated by Lunaris’s signature ash-gray hair and those crimson eyes. I’d also fallen for Fina’s golden eyes filled with holy power and her long black hair that flowed down to her waist. After all, I’d been a virgin for over thirty years. I’d never seen beautiful women from this close before. It was only natural to fall for them.
But that feeling exploded less than a week later. If I ever met my past self who’d been so smitten, I’d punch him right in the face. A week was actually pretty patient, now that I think about it. Wait, has it already been two years?
“This is seriously ridiculous.”
Far from the forest, in an open meadow. They’d pulled out a parasol, lay beneath it blocking the sunlight, and were squealing happily with each other.
…Why the hell are you two acting so peaceful and lovey-dovey by yourselves? I’m the one who fought that D-rank hobgoblin in your place this whole time. I knew you wouldn’t help even if I called you comrades, so I let you run away. What? Why am I only coming now? What’s with that stupid answer? Shouldn’t I get some rest after doing all the work? Who the hell do you think went through all this just to hear a thank you?
It was all so I could go back to Earth. Not because of you people. The king promised that if I killed the Demon King, he’d send me back home. Though at this point, I’m not even sure I want to go back anymore.
There were many reasons I was this angry. The rage that had built up over two years was finally exploding. But the spark that lit the fuse happened thirty minutes ago.
“…This is really fucking dogshit.”
Mage Lunaris and Saintess Fina. You two really have no right to complain about me being pissed.
It was fine that Lunaris detected the presence. It was fine that Fina put up a barrier. But that wasn’t the problem!
“Why the hell did you only cast the barrier on the two of you and leave me out?!”
Am I being bullied? Are you treating me like some country bumpkin from another world? Even so, I still went into that cave alone, covered in goblin blood, pretending to be one of them. I fooled their sense of smell and fought an entire horde of hobgoblins by myself. I didn’t have any wounds, but I felt incredibly dirty.
Do you know what it’s like when the stench of filth and rotting corpses assaults your nose? That moment alone felt like meeting Odin waiting for me in the halls of Valhalla. But that wasn’t even the real issue. This exact pattern had repeated for two whole years ever since I came to this world!
“You ran away from mere hobgoblins?”
“…Ugh. They just looked so hideous, what was I supposed to do?”
“…I agree.”
“Haha! Taesik. I didn’t run away! I just didn’t want to get blood on my hands!”
That’s exactly the problem. Ragner, you’re at least a little better. You actually fight sometimes. The problem is that you turn around the moment those two start making out with each other, you perverted bastard.
There’s a saying: trash is eternal trash. Even if you recycle a tin can, the label doesn’t disappear. Even if you paint over it and use it as a flowerpot, you’re just covering it up. The essence never changes.
“…I’m so sick of this.”
In the end, when we fought the Demon King’s army commander, only Ragner and I actually battled. That idiot Ragner got distracted by the Lust Commander Lilith and her huge chest. The moment I stabbed the holy sword into Lilith’s breasts, he flipped out and charged at me. Even for a barbarian, there’s no bigger idiot than him. Seriously. Going crazy over women. Maybe it’s just the culture of his tribe. I don’t care and I don’t want to know. The only problem was that he attacked me.
CRACK!
“Idiot.”
It should’ve ended with a punch. After living together for over two years, does he still not understand the difference in our strength?
“…I miss it.”
And I’m scared. Do you know how terrifying it is when a salaryman starts missing his corporate life? This is it! I’m genuinely terrified right now. I miss getting my head bashed in by my boss while working on projects more than living here.
“…I miss you, Hyung Jihun.”
I missed Hyung Jihun so much—the one who would buy me coffee and pat my back even when I made mistakes. Just once more—wait, maybe not that line. Still, he was way better than these three. At least he was more competent than me. No, I’m sure it’s not even a matter of competence.
Mage Lunaris is the daughter of the Magic Tower Master. No one knows more about magic than her. Saintess Fina was chosen by the gods this generation. Her divine power must be the strongest. Ragner is the greatest warrior of the Tigar tribe. He could grab an enemy’s arms and rip them in half just by spreading them apart.
So why the hell are they like this to me?
My patience had run out. Two years was already enduring a lot. Even if we killed the Demon King, it would be far more efficient to go with others. Or I could go alone. At least I couldn’t travel with these people anymore.
Look at them—I clearly killed the army commander, yet they’re secretly rummaging behind the Throne of Lust. Those bitches are blinded by greed. I’m the one fighting hardest for this world, yet they’re just using me to fulfill their own desires.
Everyone has desires. But there’s a limit. These women don’t have any. The seat of the Lust Commander is empty, and these three would fit right in. The title “demon” really suited them perfectly.
“No…”
Thinking about it, this wasn’t a good idea. Fighting them wouldn’t be bad, but facing their faces would make me want to vomit. I’d endured a lot. This was the moment my patience finally hit rock bottom. The patience of a Korean salaryman from Company K, forged under the constant nagging of superiors, had finally run dry. That alone deserved praise.
You three are the army commanders. No—you’re the Demon King! If your goal was to piss me off, you get a perfect score. You might even have more talent for that than magic, combat, or blessings.
For a brief moment, the thought I’d had last night flashed through my mind.
…Yeah. What could you even do without me?
I was already planning to leave this country soon anyway. Just imagining how flustered they’d be made me grin. What should I do? This is too good! My happiness circuit is spinning at full speed.
Honestly, the Demon King doesn’t even seem interested in invading. If these three decide to go catch the Demon King by themselves…
“Kya!”
There’s nothing more satisfying. They’re volunteering to die—what could be better? And if they somehow survive, they’d be killing the Demon King in my place. It’s a win-win.
Maybe it was time to make a decision. My patience was gone, and I was sick of enduring. I didn’t even understand why I had to travel with these kinds of people.
…Did I really need to overthink this?
“Ah. Whatever. I’m just gonna bounce.”
That night, the hero Kim Taesik deserted the hero’s party.