Obsessing Over the Porter, Blocked by Past Sins
Waking to the sound of chirping birds, Rin felt a heavy weight pressing down on his chest.
Looking down, he saw Lucy sleeping soundly, breathing softly.
Hard as it was to believe, ever since her panic attack yesterday, Lucy hadn't wanted to be apart from him for even a single second.
"I'm scared when you're not here, Rin."
"I will stay right by your side."
"And being close to you makes me feel safe."
Setting aside the fact that she was the Hero, Rin was naturally cautious about such close physical contact with a woman.
However, considering Lucy had only just regained her sanity after escaping the betrayal of the Hero's party, Rin didn't have the heart to push her away.
There was no need to needlessly agitate her when she was in the most stable state she had been in since her limbs were severed.
Above all, he hadn't expected her to suffer such a severe panic attack during the brief moment he had gone to gather honey.
For Rin, who had assumed she would loathe him to the very end, this was incredibly unexpected.
"Is it the suspension bridge effect?"
My only ally, my best companion, my Rin.
Those were the words Lucy had kept repeating until she fell asleep.
She seemed to have developed a powerful attachment to Rin, who had rescued her from the trauma of betrayal.
Perhaps she had acted so harshly before simply because she wanted to deny those feelings.
Either way, it didn't matter.
As long as Lucy could keep her mental state together, he was more than willing to play along.
Right now, she was clinging to him because of her dire circumstances, but once her severed limbs were fully restored, she would likely revert to her usual cynical self.
Though, he had to admit, that might be a little disappointing.
When Lucy had called him her best companion, Rin had been genuinely happy.
So this was what it felt like to be acknowledged.
Even if he had only extracted those words under extreme circumstances, it still brought him joy.
Perhaps because of that, Rin, who had always been stiff and businesslike, found himself able to offer Lucy a small smile.
Of course, it was merely to reassure her that he wouldn't abandon her.
There was no other meaning behind it.
"Time to wash up."
He gently lifted the sleeping Lucy and laid her down on the bedding.
Stretching his arms, he prepared to head to the spring he had scouted out earlier, but an urgent voice called out from behind him.
"Where are you going?"
"Ah, you're awake."
"Rin, where are you going?"
"I'm going to wash up."
"Can't you stay?"
"It's about time I cleaned myself up."
Rin sniffed his own sleeve.
"And as you always say, I smell."
"Ah..."
She had constantly nagged him about his smell.
But now that he was actually going to wash, she felt a pang of regret.
Though she had hated to admit it until yesterday, Rin's scent brought her a profound sense of relief.
It was proof that he was right there with her.
Besides, it wasn't a bad smell.
It carried the scent of dust and faint sweat—just the natural scent of a human being.
The thought of losing the scent she had buried her nose in all night made Lucy hesitate to let him go.
"I'm coming with you."
"It's safest for you to stay here, though."
"What good is safety if I can't calm down? Besides, you have to wash me anyway, don't you?"
"You have a point."
Rin nodded readily.
Retrieving some basic toiletries from the Luggage Carrier's Bag, Rin wrapped Lucy in a blanket.
"Make sure my face is pressed against your chest."
"Huh? Why is that?"
Because that way, I can smell you while we walk.
Naturally, Lucy kept that thought strictly to herself.
"I just want to sleep a bit more in your arms."
Rin wondered why she could say something like that so easily without a hint of embarrassment.
He smiled softly.
"Come to think of it, you didn't have any nightmares today."
"Oh? You're right! I slept so well."
Surprised by this realization, Lucy noticed that her mind felt remarkably clear.
Was this all thanks to Rin?
Whether it was the suspension bridge effect as Rin suspected, the scales of Lucy's heart were tipping in an increasingly abnormal direction.
For instance...
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah..."
Just looking at Rin's face and his smile made it difficult to control the goofy grin spreading across her lips.
Wrapped in the blanket, she pressed her ear against his chest, just as she wanted.
Thump, thump.
To Lucy, it didn't matter whether the heartbeat echoing in her ear belonged to Rin or herself.
She simply wore a blissful, peaceful expression, wishing they could melt into one.
Now, then.
Since the immediate situation had calmed down,
it was time to look back at what Lucy had done to Rin in the past, and what she would have to regret.
Hopefully, you haven't forgotten that Rin was subjected to all kinds of contempt by the Hero's party until the very day the Demon King was subjugated.
"This is unfair."
"What is?"
Lucy was staring at a tree.
She pouted, having expected to see Rin's bare body as he washed by the spring.
"You see my whole body every time you wash me, Rin."
"I try my best not to look."
"You still touch me, at least."
"I can't wash you without touching you. I'm not a mage, after all."
Of course, being a mage didn't automatically mean one could wash someone without touching them.
To hold a body in place with delicate mana control while manipulating brushes and soap to clean every nook and cranny would require a grand mage on par with or even exceeding Tigria.
"It's still unfair!"
"I doubt you actually want to see my body, and I can't grant a request born out of petty spite."
"But you saw mine!"
"We're going in circles. It's making it hard to wash."
"It's a simple fix if you just let me look."
"Sigh."
Lucy had already tried to turn around and sneak a peek several times, only to be stopped each time. Eventually, she had been wrapped tightly in the blanket and forced to face the tree.
The sound of splashing water behind her only made her more anxious.
"I get anxious when you're out of my sight!"
"But we're talking right now, aren't we?"
"Yeah, I like that part."
"..."
"Rin?"
"Yes?"
"I like hearing your voice."
"...I see."
"What about you?"
"I'm glad to see you feeling better, Hero."
"Hehehe."
Her mischievous chuckle brought a sense of relief to Rin as well.
He had worried about what to do with zero affection between them, but sincerity had moved heaven, and he had managed to open her heart.
Though she teased him and made stubborn demands—whether in jest or earnest—it was nothing he couldn't handle. Their journey ahead would be much smoother now.
Now that Lucy had regained her senses, they didn't even need to use skill scrolls on the way to the spring; they could rely entirely on her sharp instincts to detect any surrounding presence.
That was the power of the one chosen as the Hero.
"This is unfair."
"What is it now?"
"Rin."
"Yes, Hero."
"See? That's what's unfair."
Lucy sighed and grumbled.
"Why am I the only one calling you by your name?"
"We agreed to use titles within the party like code names..."
"Rin, don't talk about the party. This is about you and me."
Her tone carried a strange, heavy pressure.
Rin didn't know what kind of grand scheme she was plotting, but he found himself in a difficult spot.
"Don't you remember?"
"Remember what?"
"You told me never to call you by your name."
"I did?!"
She had absolutely no memory of that.
No matter how much she searched her memories, nothing came up.
"Did we even talk back then?"
Even as she asked, she realized how pathetic the question sounded.
Something was wrong.
Lucy's intuition sounded an alarm.
Specifically, the way the woman named Luciena Estelle had treated Rin in the past was deeply troubling.
"It was either the second or third day."
"Really?"
"I called you 'Lucy,' and you snapped at me, telling me not to address you so familiarly."
"...Did I?"
"Yes."
"Why would I do that..."
"There was a major battle that day. It was the first time we repelled the demon army's invasion."
She remembered.
It had happened shortly after the Hero's party was formed.
It was their first victory, barely won after everyone fought until they tasted blood in their mouths.
Lucy had been completely disgusted by Rin, who couldn't participate in the battle and was busy just trying to stay alive.
It wasn't just her; the entire party had tacitly agreed to treat the luggage carrier as nothing more than a two-legged pack mule.
"Everyone in the party was exhausted and irritable. I was just being insensitive."
She wanted to deny it, but she lacked the shamelessness to do so.
Her heart sank, turning ice-cold.
She had simply wanted Rin to call her by her name, but her past self had ruined everything.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared blankly at the tree.
Scolding herself for crying when she had no right to, she scrunched up her nose, but a soft sob escaped her lips anyway.
And that sound was more than loud enough to reach Rin's ears.
After a moment of hesitation, Rin quickly finished washing and dried himself off.
He snapped the towel loudly as if to announce his presence, but the sound of her sniffling still cut through the air.
Is it really something to cry about?
He knew she felt guilty, but this seemed a bit excessive.
Still, since she was reflecting on her past cruelty, Rin decided to humor her.
After all, he had always been the one to accommodate others.
"Lady Lucy, it's your turn to wash."
"..."
"Lady Lucy."
"Lucy."
"Yes, Lady Lucy."
"Just call me Lucy. And speak informally to me, Rin."
"...Lucy."
"Yeah, Rin."
"Were you crying?"
"I wasn't!"
He deliberately asked a teasing question to get a rise out of her.
Once he called her by her name and spoke informally, Lucy's sniffling subsided.
When he unwrapped the blanket and gently lifted her, her eyes were already red.
Carrying her into the spring, he soaked a cloth in water and began wiping her face. Lucy closed her eyes, basking in his touch.
"Blow your nose. Go on, blow."
"No!"
With a bit of playful teasing, Lucy quickly reverted to her usual coy self.
When he washed her body, he turned her so her back was facing him, acting with the utmost care.
Although the sensation of her chest and the curves below brushed against his hands, neither Rin nor Lucy made any mention of it.
Once she was clean, Rin began drying her hair with a dry towel. Lucy, who had been quietly staring at him, finally spoke up.
"Rin."
"Yeah?"
"You're so handsome. Why did you always wear a mask?"
"Uh..."
As Rin fell silent with an awkward smile, a sense of dread washed over Lucy once again.
Don't tell me... again?
"When we first met, you told me I was ugly... and that you didn't want to look at any man's face other than Reinhold's..."
"Ah! Aaaaah!!!"
Screaming at the top of her lungs in denial, Lucy finally burst into tears.
"Why on earth did she do that back then?!"
To think she had said she didn't want to look at any man's face other than Morgan Reinhold's.
It was enough to drive her mad.
She felt utterly pathetic.
At the same time, fear gripped her.
Because she remembered how she had fawned over a man like that throughout their entire journey.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
All Lucy could do was weep and beg for forgiveness.
"There, there. It's alright."
Rin pulled Lucy into his arms and patted her back.
Weeping hot tears of regret, Lucy gradually calmed down to the sound of his heartbeat and closed her eyes.
If possible, she wanted Rin to hear her heartbeat too.
She wanted to show him that she no longer despised him.
She wanted to show him that she couldn't live without him anymore.
But with nothing but memories of her wrongdoings, Lucy remained silent and eventually drifted off to sleep.
Before falling asleep, Lucy realized that a sticky, suffocating emotion had taken root in her heart.
It was affection for the man who continued to embrace her despite her terrible sins, coupled with the constant anxiety that he might abandon her at any moment because of those very mistakes.
And so, Lucy's obsession and dependency on Rin began to fester in earnest.