My Only Ally, My Best Companion, My Rin
"Aaaagh!"
Today, too, Lucy woke up with a scream, plagued by nightmares.
Just because she had spoken with a mere luggage carrier didn't mean her situation would change overnight.
Her severed limbs still throbbed with phantom pain, which only intensified whenever she had nightmares.
Ever since the betrayal, the nightmares began the moment she closed her eyes.
Because of this, Lucy fought sleep as hard as she could, only drifting off when she could no longer hold out, only to wake up barely tens of minutes later. This vicious cycle repeated itself endlessly.
Nightmares, sleep deprivation, phantom pain.
But these three were not the only sources of her suffering.
"...Why do I have to cling to a nobody like you to get around?"
"It can't be helped. Please bear with it until your body is restored."
Rin had carefully wrapped Lucy in a swaddling blanket and carried her strapped to his chest.
At first, the straps only went around his shoulders, so with every step he took, Lucy's body would float slightly and bump against him.
"I feel like throwing up."
"I should wrap a strap around my waist as well. How is this?"
"You smell."
"We have to move quickly, so I can't wash every day. How about now? You aren't bumping against me anymore, right?"
"I said you stink!"
She knew she was being unreasonable.
With her nerves frayed by pain and lack of sleep, Lucy found everything about Rin irritating.
"Why are you the one undressing and dressing me?"
"Because it is too difficult for you to do alone, Hero."
"Don't make me laugh! You're just trying to grope my breasts and butt!"
"I am trying to be as careful as possible, but otherwise, I cannot change your clothes."
"Let me do it myself."
"If we do that, we will lose too much time."
While he went days without changing his own clothes to keep moving, he made sure to change Lucy's clothes properly every single day.
"And why are you washing my body?!"
"If you don't wash properly, you will get sick."
"My body is naturally strong, I don't get sick easily!"
"You shouldn't underestimate germs. If your wounds get infected, the situation will spiral out of control. We already have so little time; we cannot afford to lose more."
Again, while he didn't wash himself for days, he made sure to pull water out of the Luggage Carrier's Bag to wash Lucy thoroughly.
"Ngh..."
"Let me wipe you down."
"I don't need it! I said I don't need it!"
The most humiliating and shameful part was that Rin had to clean up after her when she relieved herself.
Only after hesitating and finally pleading with Rin was she able to relieve herself using a makeshift harness he had devised, but afterward, she had no choice but to rely on him.
Rin didn't seem to mind at all, but she absolutely hated being seen in such a state.
Her self-esteem had hit rock bottom, and the lower it sank, the more she lashed out at him.
"The camp is all set up. Please wait here a moment. I will go find something to eat."
"I'm not eating."
"You must eat."
"Do you think I can even swallow anything right now?!"
She had no appetite, but the simple, logical reality that eating meant she would eventually have to relieve herself made her reject meals almost entirely.
With each passing day, her body grew thinner.
When her cheeks hollowed out and her cheekbones began to protrude, Rin did everything he could to find meat, boiling and stirring it into a thin gruel. He would then beg and plead with Lucy, barely managing to coax a few spoonfuls into her.
"I will be back."
"Who knows. Maybe you'll come back, or maybe you'll just run off."
"I will return. I promise."
"I don't need someone like you!"
"I will definitely return."
Lucy knew Rin was devoting himself to her completely.
She knew that his failure to wash or change his clothes was all to avoid leaving her alone for even a moment.
However, food was a different story.
The Luggage Carrier's Bag was merely a massive dimensional storage pocket.
If food was left inside for too long, it would rot.
Furthermore, before the final battle with the Demon God, the luggage carrier had fed the Hero's party to their fill, claiming they needed to maintain their condition. Right before the decisive battle, he had emptied out all their remaining food.
Not that there had been much left to begin with.
Consequently, the food stored in the Luggage Carrier's Bag was already completely depleted.
Whenever Rin went out to forage for food to keep Lucy's strength up, she was left alone like this.
And whenever she was left alone, a wave of guilt toward Rin would wash over her.
She might have become hypersensitive, but her innate nature of caring for her companions hadn't vanished.
Of course, it had only been a short while since she began to view Rin as a companion, but Lucy knew her attitude was wrong.
She knew, yet she couldn't help it.
Betrayed by the companions she had truly trusted, she had fallen into a deep state of misanthropy. Reduced to a limbless cripple, her self-esteem had shattered from being carried around like a piece of luggage.
Whenever she complained of discomfort, Rin did whatever it took to make her comfortable.
Whenever she threw a tantrum, Rin silently endured it.
Whenever she raged, Rin would soothe her, promising that her body could be restored and that he would never give up on her.
Lucy hated herself for wanting to rely on Rin.
She hated the dependency that reared its head alongside her loneliness, whispering that maybe Rin was different.
She hated how she treated him so poorly even though she couldn't do a single thing without him.
Yet, her useless pride and raw sensitivity kept her stubborn.
No wonder my companions betrayed me.
As she wallowed in her own sorrow, her exhausted mind gave in, and Lucy's eyelids gradually fluttered shut.
"Reinhold!"
Only after wandering for a long time did Lucy finally find her fiancé.
Even in the dead of night, his blonde hair shone dazzlingly under the moonlight.
The blue eyes set within his handsome face were deep and intelligent.
"Lucy."
"The meeting ended late. I don't know why those high-and-mighty nobles talk so much. They never even reach a proper conclusion."
"Perhaps that's why Her Imperial Highness took the lead this time. Thanks to her cutting through all the useless chatter, we managed to finish today."
"Hmph."
Lucy hated it when Reinhold mentioned the Crown Princess.
For some reason, her fiancé always wore a faint smile whenever he thought of Renasien.
That smile was handsome and made her heart flutter, but she instinctively felt it was a kind of smile he never showed to her.
"She must be capable."
"Of course she is. She is the future sun of the Empire. You don't get appointed as the successor without capability."
"That's just because all her siblings died and there was no one else to inherit..."
"Lucy!"
"Fine, fine."
Conversations about Renasien always ended like this.
Reinhold would bring her up, Lucy would make a sarcastic remark out of jealousy, Reinhold would furrow his brow, and Lucy, hating to be disliked by him, would pout sullenly.
"Even so, she wouldn't have been appointed if she lacked the capacity."
"I said I get it."
Lucy walked out onto the terrace, making sure her sulkiness was obvious.
Reinhold would follow her out a moment later to soothe her.
Just like always.
He would have reassured her.
But this time was different.
Crunch!
"Huh...?"
"Luciena Estelle. Rebel. Arrest. Execute."
Tigria appeared on the terrace and severed her arm.
Snap!
"What makes you think you're so special that you can just say whatever the hell you want?"
Arcel tore off Lucy's leg with holy power and monstrous strength.
Whoosh!
"You should have exercised some self-restraint. Though it seems it is already too late."
An arrow flew first, followed by Nydrian, who scolded her.
"Reinhold!!! Save me!!!"
She cried out desperately.
She cried out again and again.
By now, Lucy knew.
That it was all useless.
She couldn't understand why she kept calling for Reinhold.
Even though nothing but hatred remained in her heart for him.
It must be habit.
A terribly bad habit.
"Now that the Demon God has fallen, the only threat to the Empire is you. Luciena Estelle."
Crunch!
Reinhold crushed her remaining arm with his shield, severing it.
As her limbs were helplessly torn away, Lucy thought:
Ah, the order of the people is right, but the parts they're tearing off are wrong.
She had repeated this nightmare so many times that she had memorized it all.
As she laughed at the absurdity of it, her severed left arm drifted over to her.
"Look at this bitch laughing. Hey, did you think I was useless from the start?"
"What do you mean..."
"I mean, now that the Demon God is gone, you aren't needed anymore."
Then, her right leg chimed in.
"No, no. She herself became useless, which is why her companions abandoned her."
"Wait, if she's the one who became useless, why did they tear us off?"
"Who knows."
Her right arm added to the conversation.
"They must have hated her that much."
Finally, her left leg grumbled.
"Well, she didn't even treat the guy who actually took care of her like a human being. She just ignored him all the time."
"Took care of her? Who?"
"The luggage carrier."
"Ah, him."
Her severed limbs whispered among themselves.
The nightmare had never gone like this before.
Usually, after the betrayal, the luggage carrier would appear, hold her, and fall from a dizzying height, and she would wake up from the sensation of falling.
But in this dream, the luggage carrier was nowhere to be seen.
"Luggage carrier!"
"Wow, is she seriously only looking for him now?"
"Right? She never called for him before."
"Why? Is it weird that the guy who always came on his own isn't showing up?"
"You're the weird one. Why did you take it for granted that he would come?"
"Exactly."
"Is he precious now that he's gone?"
"Is he precious now that he's vanished, just like us?"
"Then why did you treat him like that?"
"Treat him well before he really disappears."
The limbs spoke in unison.
"He's your only ally."
"Aaaagh!!"
She screamed.
"Haa... haa...!"
She opened her eyes.
There was no one.
Only the soft bedding and the crackling campfire remained.
"Luggage carrier...!"
It was the first time.
Whether in a dream or in reality, it was the first time she had called for the luggage carrier instead of Reinhold.
But no answer came.
"Luggage carrier!!!!"
Is he gone? Did he leave? Because I was mean to him?
No, that can't be.
No matter how badly I treated him, he was the one who stayed by my side.
"Luggage carrier!!!!!!!!!!"
He really wasn't coming.
Following her hoarse, raspy cry, a chilling silence licked at her.
She couldn't breathe.
She was terrified.
Finally, she realized.
How grateful she should have been for his presence.
He was not someone to be taken for granted.
He was not someone she should have treated so poorly.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I was wrong... Please come back..."
Falling into a panic, Lucy began to tremble and beg for forgiveness.
"I haven't even said thank you yet... at least hear that before you go... please... so come back...!"
She felt so miserable.
She didn't know why.
She was just utterly miserable.
"You abandoned me...! Even you abandoned me!"
Her unusually sharp mind jumped to its own conclusion, forcing Lucy to accept it.
"Did you leave because I was mean to you? Is that it?"
Strangely, the moment she realized she had lost him, tears welled up in her previously dry eyes.
They were hot, painful tears.
"I shouldn't have done that... I was wrong...! I... I...! *Sob*... *hic*... *waaaah*...!"
Her beautiful face distorted as tears streamed down.
She no longer had hands to wipe away these tears.
She no longer had legs to run away out of shame.
Ah, I really am all alone.
"Waaaaah!!!!"
As she wailed in sorrow,
"I'm back."
A pair of strong arms lifted her small body.
His hand held a soft cloth, gently wiping away her tears.
His legs firmly supported his body as he held her.
"You had a nightmare."
As he held her close and patted her back, Lucy let out a tearful sigh.
"I'm sorry. I ended up later than expected."
"Liar! You abandoned me and only came back!"
"I did not."
"You left, and then you felt sorry for me and came back!"
"I did not."
"Then... why were you late...?"
Her suppressed tears burst forth once more.
Unreasonably, Lucy felt a deep sense of sorrow.
"Why did you leave me alone for so long...?"
"Because of this."
What Rin held up to show her was a honeycomb.
Wrapping up the honeycomb dripping with honey, Rin apologized to Lucy.
"Since you have trouble eating, I thought honey might be better. It took some time to find it. I'm sorry. I won't leave you alone for long again."
"...It's just honey."
Lucy hated herself for letting harsh words slip out, contrary to what she felt inside.
"I heard that if you only eat honey, you rarely need to use the restroom."
"..."
"I got it hoping it would help."
"Why... why are you so good to me?"
Her tears wouldn't stop.
Because they were tears born from her frozen heart melting at Rin's consideration and hardships, they could not be easily stopped.
"The world will soon need you."
"Why?"
"Because you are the Hero."
"Then... if the world didn't need me anymore after the Demon God was killed, you would have abandoned me just like those bastards did."
"No, I would have saved you just the same."
"...Why?"
I shouldn't hope.
But it's impossible.
My heart has already grown warm.
Lucy tried to convince herself that a cold answer would return.
To her, Rin replied honestly.
"Because I, too, have been abandoned before."
His arms tightened around her.
She pressed closer into his chest, breathing in his scent.
The scent she had claimed to hate, but which had actually brought her no small amount of comfort.
"Being left alone is a truly terrifying and sad thing. To be left all by yourself to bear that emptiness when you didn't even do anything terribly wrong... it's far too cruel."
"...They said they tried to kill me because I did so many things wrong."
"I can't say you did absolutely nothing wrong, but they screwed up far too much themselves to judge you. Whenever you got angry at the nobles on our behalf, I felt vindicated too."
"You're the only one who says that."
"I was simply the one who said it to you, Hero."
"And you were the only one who saved me, too."
"I suppose so."
Ashamed of her tears, she closed her eyes, and the sound of Rin's heartbeat reached her ears.
Listening to the steady, rhythmic beat, Lucy felt herself calming down.
She realized she was finally ready to accept her situation and her feelings for Rin.
"What is your name?"
"You can just call me the luggage carrier."
"I can't do that."
So, she decided to express her feelings.
"You are my only ally."
She didn't know if it would go well, but she was going to try anyway.
"Only you are my best companion."
Clank.
Lucy flinched.
Just now, she had heard something foreign coming from his chest, not his heartbeat.
It was a metallic sound, like chains dragging.
At the same time,
"Ah."
He let out a breath.
Startled, she opened her eyes and saw,
"Rin. It's Rin. My family name is Lee. Since I'm a commoner, it's Lee Rin."
A small, but bright and warm smile.
His gentle eyes curved softly as he looked down at Lucy.
"Rin."
Lucy repeated the luggage carrier's name.
"My only ally, my best companion... my Rin."
Lucy offered a bright smile back to the smiling man.
"Thank you for saving me, Rin."
However, she could not stop the tears that flowed through her smile.