Somehow My Luck Seemed Too Good (1)
“Haaah... You're really the best... Take whatever gear you want...♡ Just give me another round next time we meet.”
“Sure thing, Leon...♡”
“Yaaawn... Suddenly feel drained... I'm gonna crash now, so pick something decent and go...”
[+100 GP]
[Copying Leon Breli's 'Smelting'.]
With that, Leon started snoring away.
Alright, time to legally loot a blacksmith shop for once?
I wandered the display racks like I was shopping at a mall.
Sex with Leon had been a total win for me on every level. Not just the points—I'd scored a bunch of gear in lieu of payment, too.
And I even snagged a 'Smelting' skill. That'll come in handy later.
First off, my Strength stat had shot up way beyond before, so it was time to ditch the leather armor. I deserved something sturdy and solid now.
Being the guild's attached smithy, the place was overflowing with all sorts of stuff. Tiny daggers to massive siege weapons...
Leon had told me to grab whatever, but... she still looked like the top smith around. Was it really okay to just take shit?
What to pick... I toyed with snagging a full plate armor worth hundreds of gold coins, but I wasn't that shameless. Plus, could I even carry the damn thing?
[Chain Mail Armor: Suggested Retail 10 gold]
Yeah, this chain mail it is.
A suit woven from interlocking chains, great against slashing attacks. Heavier than leather, sure, but it guaranteed solid defense.
Still pricey as hell, but whatever. This much was fine, right? Honestly, after tasting my body, she owed me at least this.
I pulled the chain mail off the rack and tried it on. The tight weave wasn't comfy, but it was lighter than expected—perfect for running around in.
Defense sorted. Now for a weapon.
The shortsword had served me well, but it sucked against distant enemies. If only I could fire sword beams or something...
For now, maybe grab a bow as a sidearm?
No way... hell no!!
Bows were for parasites and wimps! No way it fit a real man like me. Men had to swing close-range weapons, even if it killed them.
I yanked my eyes off the bows and scanned elsewhere. There had to be other options for hitting far-off foes.
As I prowled the smithy hunting for the perfect piece, I finally spotted it: something that clicked perfectly.
[Tomahawk: Suggested Retail 50 silver]
[Can also be thrown.]
Whoa, fuck, that's badass.
Sleek blade, black body... and throwable to boot. Was this even a medieval weapon? It looked weirdly modern.
Whatever, just grab it—it's got style!!
The moment I saw the tomahawk, practical Baek Sejun vanished. Who gives a shit about utility with something this cool in front of you? Fuck practicality.
Truth was, I didn't need to overthink gear anyway. I had Han Seyoung as my trusty bus.
Perfect. This tomahawk's my main now.
Time to hit the guild and snag a quest.
For an F-rank like me, it had to be doable but promotable. Like, soloing something low-ranks couldn't handle—fast track to promotion, right?
Mulling that over, I left the smithy and headed into the guild, straight to the quest board.
As I pondered options, one stood out. Dusty, so probably old...
I stood on tiptoes to read it closely.
[Wild Kobold Pack Extermination]
[Five kobolds have appeared in the northeast forest, frequently attacking passersby. We're terrified they'll raid the nearby village and hurt the kids. Thus, we submit this request to the Adventurer's Guild. Minimum: Five D-rank adventurers or equivalent.]
[Reward: 30 silver]
Kobolds? They pay more than goblin den clears for just five?
I got about 12 silver for the goblin nest...
Were kobolds that dangerous?
Should ask Seyoung—my bus driver—when she shows.
I ripped the quest off the wall and showed the guild receptionist. She looked flustered.
“Hold on. You're going solo? Aren't you F-rank?”
“Yeah, solo. Any reason I can't?”
“Sigh... Fine. Come straight back after—no showering.”
“Huh?”
She narrowed her eyes and muttered. They hadn't cared when I cleared the goblin nest...
Was this chick into that fetish? Getting off on seeing rationality crumble? Gross.
As I froze, she stamped and handed me the quest paper quick.
-Grrrrowl
Turning, my stomach growled.
Gotta eat first. Skipped breakfast—my spine's practically glued to my belly...
Sigh... But I hate wasting cash. Sure, I had three silver from goblins plus a bit from arrival, but I needed that for something else.
Hmm...
I glanced around. Six people eating at the guild cafeteria besides me. Four women adventurers in armor and gear. If I stuck to my type, one guy left.
No choice—this is training too...!
That day, I got a bowl of noodles and 100 points.
***
After filling up on noodles and playing with the guild's cheese-colored cat, it was time to meet Han Seyoung.
I donned the chain mail, grabbed my tomahawk and shield, and headed out front.
“Yo, you showed.”
She leaned against the wall like it was no big deal.
What the fuck? How'd she beat me here? I never left the guild area—teleport?
“Was I late?”
“Nah, just got here myself.”
She snatched my quest paper and scanned it.
“You're fucking insane.”
“Huh?”
“Taking a five-kobold hunt? As an F-rank nobody?”
“W-wait, what're you saying? How dangerous can they be...”
“Ugh...”
Were kobolds such a big deal? I tilted my head, and she sighed deeply.
“They're midget-sized like you, dumber than goblins, but their strength's on another level. Plus, those sharp claws and teeth are loaded with deadly bacteria—one scratch and you're dead that day.”
“Eeeek...!”
Sounded horrifying from the description alone... No way I could win now. But I had my A-rank bus...!
“Oh yeah, didn't say—you're fighting too.”
What?
“Wait, hold up! That's not the deal!”
“It is. Think they'll buy you showing up squeaky clean? 'This punk rode the bus after dick service,' right?”
“Th-then I can just smear your kills on me and fake it!”
Seyoung lit another cig. Blue smoke curled skyward.
“Nope. Receptionists are pros—they'll spot if you actually fought from your gear and weapons. Especially a tough quest for an F-rank like you.”
“No way...”
So the no-shower rule wasn't her kink—it was for the strict inspection...
Nooo... My beautiful plan's crumbling... I was gonna corrupt her bit by bit on the bus ride!!
“Wait!!! Kobolds are dangerous, right?! I could... die!”
“Yeah, dangerous. But it's fine—I've got you. I'll save you right before you croak... probably.”
“Ugh...”
Should've ordered steak instead of noodles... Who knew my last meal might be crappy ramen strands.
“Alright, let's go.”
“Wait—you're going unequipped?”
“Why bother?”
She scooped up a big rock. Crack—veins bulged on her hand, and it crumbled to sand instantly.
Gotta tell her no handjobs during sex later.
“At my level, gear's optional. 'Just' five kobolds? That's a stroll in the park.”
“You said they were dangerous earlier.”
“For you. To me, they're less than a snack.”
“Fuck, must be nice being OP! You think it's chill saying that when I might die?”
“Eh... maybe a bit much?”
Yeah. Must be nice being strong. Meanwhile, I'm heading to die against her "snacks."
Should've grabbed the bow and ditched the tomahawk if I'd known it'd be this rough...
“We'll wrap by lunch tomorrow.”
Oblivious to my pain, Seyoung grinned and headed northeast. I trailed her like a lamb to slaughter.
My luck sucks... and it's fucking awful.