Hurnah's Twisted Common Sense
“Hmm... Huh? Yeah?”
What the? What's this?
I just felt something weird and slimy... Was it my imagination?
“Ugh... Maybe it's from riding the horse so long, but my head suddenly hurts. You okay, Maltaris?”
“Yeah. Felt dizzy for a sec, but I'm good now. That's weird.”
We chat idly atop our horses.
The guards spot us and slam their spear butts into the ground to grab our attention.
“Hey! You two! What the hell are you doing up there!”
“Get down now! Don't you know the common sense that a female pussy's head can't be higher than a male lord's?!”
Com... mon sense...? There was such a thing... there was!
““Uh, u-uh... uh!””
Our faces drain of color, turning pale green.
Oh shit! What the hell are we doing!
A female pussy's head must never be higher than a male lord's.
This is common sense even a three-year-old knows!
Violating such obvious common sense—daring to mount a horse as a mere female pussy and look down on a male lord? Unthinkable for any cultured, common-sense person.
“S-Sorry!”
We scramble off the horses and bow deeply in apology.
“Looks like it's your first time here, so we'll let it slide this once.”
“Yeah. Be grateful. If you'd run into meaner guys like us, who knows what they'd do to you.”
Just like the guards said.
But they look like they're holding back laughs... Imagination?
“You're right. We're so lucky to meet such kind people.”
“Alright. Let's do the official entry procedures at the guard post. Follow us.”
We step into the simple wooden guard post.
Inside: a rickety table, a few chairs, some papers—bare bones.
The two guards sit at the table.
“First, a quick rundown on the city. Hurnah places extreme value on common sense and manners. Violate it even a little, and you're in deep shit. Got it?”
“Yes, sir. We'll keep that in mind.”
“Good. You're adventurers here for the Hurnah investigation quest, right? Got any proof, like a quest slip or ID?”
We hand over the Hurnah city investigation quest paper and our IDs, just as instructed.
The guard glances at them, then tosses them into the blazing stove behind him.
Huh? That was my only proof of identity... Oh well. If the guard burned it, it must not have been important.
“Forget whatever you did before coming here, your names, all that. You'll get new identities. We'll make you new IDs.”
Just as I figured—those papers weren't a big deal.
Meanwhile, the guard fetches a magic camera.
“Alright. Get into the wide-legged slutty ahegao proof photo pose.”
“R-Ready...!”
Wide-legged slutty ahegao proof pose.
The name alone didn't ring a bell at first, but suddenly it pops into my head like someone slipped me cheat notes.
Erophna and I hurriedly strip naked.
Then spread our legs 180 degrees to expose our pussy mustaches, bend our knees nearly 90 degrees to prove we have no weapons.
Thrust out our morning star-sized tits to emphasize they're harmless, hands up by our heads making V-signs.
Roll our eyes back as vulgarly and sluttily as possible, stretch our philtrums long, stick out our tongues♡
“Heh, hehbhebeh♡”
How's this♡ Perfect wide-legged slutty ahegao proof photo pose, right♡
“Bebhebeh♡”
Sticking my tongue out long in front of a stranger is kinda embarrassing, but it's 'common sense,' so no choice♡
“Kuhahaha! Pfft! Uwhahahaha!”
“Hahaha! Th-This is hilarious! Jackpot! This is why I can't quit being a guard!”
They burst out laughing out of nowhere.
Worried our poses were off, we distort our faces even more sluttily and stretch our tongues like ant feelers.
“Ahh, perfect. Hold that pose. I'll snap on three? One, two, three!”
““Bbi♡””
'Dick♡'
One of the classic phrases—cheese, smile, dick—as the photo snaps.
-Snap!
The picture comes out adorably perfect.
The guard sticks it on a small rectangular wooden plaque.
Then writes our names beside it.
“Here, we don't care about age, status, adventurer rank, none of that. A female pussy just needs a body pic and a handy name, like a walking, talking onahole.”
Of course. What else does a female need?
“Alright. Inspection's done. Head into the city. You said you're adventurers here to scout Hurnah's internals, right? Hope you succeed. Oh, and as adventurers, see the city lord first.”
“Thank you!”
We wave goodbye to the guards and step out.
“Lucky we got such nice guards.”
“Yeah. They only took the horses and money, gave our clothes back. Even advised us to see the city lord. Good people.”
Passing the post and gate, we enter the sealed city of Hurnah.
-Ohooooo♡ Ohok♡ Ohok♡ Ohogyahaa♡
-Thank you♡ Thank you♡ Thanks for the daily cock meal today♡
-Beolrebeoroboryabebyabibbibya♡
Unlike its infamous rep as a sealed city, Hurnah's interior feels surprisingly peaceful and decent.
Blue skies, beautifully sculpted buildings lining the streets.
Traces of its military past remain, but blend with the colorful architecture into a unique city vibe.
And women getting fucked with legs spread on the streets.
Asses sticking out from alley walls everywhere.
Naked bitches on all fours, leashed and following their owners.
Female pussies treated like street cum-rag trash cans—way better than I expected.
“It's more normal than I thought. No, better than Arje, right?”
“Totally. No idea why this became sealed Hurnah. Anyway, should we follow the guard's advice and see the city lord?”
“But where's city hall? Guess we ask someone. Hey there?”
I approach a guy squatting in an alley side street, smoking.
“Excuse me, sir. Sorry, but we're new adventurers in town. We need to see the city lord—know where he is?”
“Ahn? First-timers? Oh... yeah. Last one was that epic slut, thought no more would come. Didn't expect big-titted adventurers still showing up.”
Wh-What the hell is this guy saying out of nowhere!
“Th-Thanks for the compliment right off the bat... Kinda surprised, but grateful.”
Straight-up praising our tits to strangers. Definitely a nice guy.
“Hmm. I could tell you where city hall is... but with words? See, my crotch is full of leftover cum, kinda tough. If you two drain it with those thick milk tanks...”
“Wh-What?! No way! Emergency mouth-pussy for draining stale cum? Ridiculous!”
“Exactly! That's insane!”
The guy startles at our outburst.
Yelling like this on the street—at a male lord, no less—is a manners violation, but unavoidable.
A male lord offering directions to female pussies, and his price is just a double titjob?!
He's getting ripped off!
But since it's on the table, better wrap it up before he backs out.
“If that's all it takes...”
We unbutton our tops.
Four orphanage-feeding goldmine udders spill into the air.
Flawless jade curves, no blemishes.
Pink nipples shyly peeking, proudly asserting themselves.
We kneel before him, hugging tight to press our tits together.
Four heavy milk launchers merge with a squelch♡, squishing lewdly.
Keep 'em pressed, and they might hit critical mass, turning into a cum-sucking black hole—total titty porn show.
“Whoa! What power!”
““Thank you♡””
Nice guy confirmed.
“Then, no holding back...”
He pulls out his dick, grabs our hair like handles, presses it to the titty onahole collection.
Slides right into the sweaty, pheromone-slicked titty hole♡
-Squishshshsh♡
“Guh, grrr... Wh-What pressure...! Titty presses from both sides tighter than most pussies...! This ain't titjob level...! Next-gen baby juice milker!”
Such embarrassingly high praise.
Erophna's and my faces flush red.
“Grooo! Can't hold back! Think I'd stay still in these slutty double tits?! Here it comes!”
-Squish♡ Pahn♡ Squish♡ Pahn♡
He thrusts wildly, treating the 'indomitable' titty caves like real pussies.
His long, thick womb-plowing love club grinds and stimulates our baby food faucets.
“Hah♡ Hng♡ Ng♡”
“Baby food pots are tickling♡”
“Guh! This hydraulic press is no joke! Tit meat clinging to my dick... ugh...! Could make a guy premature!”
Huh♡ That'd be bad♡ Turning sir's dick into a quick-shot mod♡ Naughty udders♡
“Right♡ Premature execution titty guillotine? That's not an onahole, it's a mass dick-killer weapon♡ Cumming to that would be disaster♡”
“Guh...! Think I'll lose to a mere double paizuri?!”
-Pahpahpahpahpah♡
-Blublublublub♡
After pounding the titty holes to his heart's content, he blissfully unloads in the center of our plump udders.
As our torsos part, stringy♡ gooey♡ cum stretches thick from the squished titty flesh♡
“Hoo... Felt great... City hall's that way.”
We bow in thanks to the male lord and head toward Hurnah's city hall.