Chapter 255: Self-Awareness (1)
So, while we were grinding it out in Bilbao, you were just having a date with Ha-neul, huh?
“It wasn’t a date, it was just going to the hospital!”
After the friends returned to La Masia following the victory in the Bilbao match, the dormitory was filled with renewed energy.
Well, Camila, who was being pinned down by Valentina’s two hands, didn’t seem to enjoy this energy much.
“What hospital? Ha-neul was watching it on SNS.”
“Ha-neul! You posted that on SNS?”
Camila glared at me with resentful eyes.
“No, I just posted a photo of eating.”
But posting a photo of eating on SNS was an important task for fan management, so I had no choice. I couldn’t post photos of La Masia’s meals all the time, so I had to manage SNS even when eating out occasionally.
Of course, even I didn’t post about going to the movie theater. It wasn’t the kind of movie worth bragging about having seen together.
“I only ate! I only ate!”
It seemed Camila felt the same way, so she repeated the answer about only eating under Valentina’s interrogation.
Actually, now that I think about it, before the friends arrived, I had been a bit awkward with Camila. On the way back from the movie, the conversations felt slightly interrupted.
Honestly, I thought Camila would remain a pure girl forever, but learning that I knew everything was a bit shocking.
‘Will she get a boyfriend later?’
I thought this relationship would continue forever, but if Camila got a boyfriend, I wouldn’t be able to maintain this relationship, which made me a bit lonely.
If my girlfriend had been close friends with a male friend who stuck to me all day since she was 6-7 years old, I would have been uncomfortable. No, not just uncomfortable, I would have never allowed them to meet.
Still, it was fortunate that nothing like that happened while living in the dormitory. First, it was hard to go out at night, and during the day we had training, so no issue there.
The problem was after leaving the dormitory?
Then, one by one boyfriends would appear, and this relationship might end, which made my heart uneasy.
In this life where I poured everything into football, the place where I could feel at ease was near my friends. If the relationships got cut off one by one, even I would feel some impact. Then, if the kids got transferred, the connection might be completely severed.
‘I have to make sure they don’t get transferred.’
It wasn’t my role to give money to prevent friends from being transferred; that was unacceptable. My role was to build my career by playing my best.
From now on, I would have to work even harder at football.
Even while thinking this, the interrogation of Camila continued.
“Really? You only ate and came back?”
“Haha! Yuri! It’s true! Stop tickling me!”
Seeing Camila not revealing the truth even under Valentina’s bondage and Yuri’s tickling, I thought that the fact that they watched the movie together alone would remain a secret for life.
‘Peaceful.’
Camila, Valentina, and Yuri playing and joking around.
“No, if you didn’t eat anything, what were you doing? Ah, Ha-neul and Kami played soccer or something?”
And while looking at that, Bruna shook her head and said something out of the blue.
Seeing the usual scene made me feel at ease.
“Ha-neul, you didn’t take a player who hadn’t recovered yet to train, did you?”
“No, of course not. Ah, and congratulations on the hat-trick this time, Bruna.”
“Really? You saw it live? Not just the highlight? You were sleeping when I came back yesterday?”
“Eii, when you guys came, I had already slept a lot. And while I was resting comfortably, I didn’t even watch our team’s match?”
“True. So, how was it?”
“It was good. My shots increased a lot. When I first came, I couldn’t shoot as well as you.”
“Eii, it wasn’t that much. And also? Was there nothing lacking?”
“If I just increased my touches a bit more.”
“Touches… Then, while we have some time left, let’s go outside and kick the ball a bit?”
“Okay.”
After going outside with Bruna and exchanging the ball, the kids came out. The five of us playing a one-bounce game with drinks, time passed quickly, and it was time to go to work.
After resting for two days, was my body itchy? Or was the daily life of casually hanging out with friends quite enjoyable?
The way to the training ground seemed fun.
Of course, I decided to think that the reason for this feeling was because it was premonition. Thinking that Ryu Ha-neul, the greatest, finds it fun because of friends felt a bit embarrassing.
‘If my fans from the previous life saw this thought of mine, they would say what nonsense.’
Looking at this, did I feel like I had changed?
In the previous life, thanks to parents who only cared about money, my home environment wasn’t great, and moving between teams meant I had few friends. Well, during the La Masia period, as a young foreigner crossing the sea alone, and seeing the actions of other teammates, I had quite a sense of victimhood like ‘Is this racism?’
Moreover, when I was about to make friends after debuting in the first team, I was sold to Manchester United like a punch, so I couldn’t make friends. And after my skills improved, I maintained a relationship more like superior and subordinate rather than friends.
…Until the day I died.
So, there was no place to relax, so I went crazy having sex everywhere.
But compared to that life, this life feels satisfying.
‘If my physical ability was only as good as in the previous life… Or rather, if I was born as a woman… No, don’t think that.’
Clearly, my physical ability is a bit, no, quite lacking, but even in this world, being born as a man is better than being born as a woman.
Moreover, being born as a man gave me some advantages.
For example, because I was a man, I didn’t experience much racism when going to school, or most people were friendly to me.
And the reason was that I also acted in a way not to be too closed off with others. If I hadn’t managed my image to debut as a man, people wouldn’t have been friendly to me, so being born as a man in this world was also an advantage.
‘…Thinking about it, I had help from my friends too.’
If when I was young, the lowest level Camila and Valentina had pushed me, a man, and bullied me, I wouldn’t have been able to manage my image perfectly, so I should thank the kids.
As they say, a nail pulled out in one go.
“Thank you.”
I gave a thank you to Valentina sitting next to me.
“Eh? Suddenly what nonsense are you saying.”
“Just, thank you for playing well.”
“…Did something happen with Kami?”
“You say nonsense? Why is Kami here?”
“No, because you suddenly did something you don’t usually do.”
Valentina, who had a personality like a chaebol or something, was embarrassed by my sudden thank you, so her face turned red. Seeing that, I recalled the red cheeks of Camila that I saw in the dark theater.
And below that, the scene I saw by lowering my eyes.
Thinking about that, my eyes unconsciously went down. And even though she was wearing a sports bra, Valentina’s chest was visible, showing presence. Embarrassed, I looked down again, and there were Valentina’s snow-white thighs.
No, even though it’s Spain’s winter, why do these guys always wear uniform bottoms?
Well, I couldn’t say anything because I was dressed the same, but I felt a bit resentful towards the friends who had high body temperature.
“Tsk, look at your face turning red. You said it, but you’re embarrassed too?”
“Ah, no?”
“What? Then do you have a fever?”
Valentina’s hand suddenly touched my forehead. A cool feeling spread through my body. Since Valentina didn’t have cold hands, it meant my forehead was quite hot.
“Really hot? So I was talking nonsense.”
“No, idiot.”
No matter how much it was a hand, no matter how much it was Valentina, the feeling that blood might rush if I kept touching a woman made me curse at Valentina and flick her hand away from my forehead.
‘If I stand here, there’s no answer.’
Soon we would arrive at the training ground, suddenly standing? Then, unlike the excuse I made at the movie theater about waiting to see the credits, I couldn’t make any excuse.
“I’m sorry for worrying about you.”
Valentina spat out rough curses like usual at my action. Well, it wasn’t particularly unpleasant. We were real ‘close friends’ who exchanged curses with each other.
But the fact that I had a moment of lust towards this ‘close friend’ made my face even hotter.
“…Are you really not feeling well?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
I had only tried to say thank you, but with my cold tone, an awkward atmosphere settled between us.
‘…Did I say it too coldly?’
While I was worrying, Valentina took out her phone from her pocket. When she sat next to me, Valentina, who had never seen a phone before, took out the phone, and for a moment thought she should apologize even now,
“Hey. Did you see this? In the last match, Chloe scored a goal, it’s insane?”
Valentina played a video and asked as if something happened. Clearly, it was to cheer me up.
‘…She’s more adult than me?’
When did that kid grow up? Well, she was taller than me from the beginning.
Seeing Valentina, who was more mature than me who lived 30 more years, I felt a bit self-deprecating.
‘Yeah, in the previous life, I was more like an asshole who acted on impulse rather than being an adult.’
I reflected on myself like that, but I didn’t apologize to Valentina. If I apologized seriously here, the usual atmosphere that Valentina had worked hard to create would be broken.
“…Chloe? The league?”
“Yeah. It was scored in the league, the bicycle kick is crazy. Watch it.”
A fantastic bicycle kick scored by Liverpool’s attacker Chloe played on Valentina’s phone. Of course, I, who watches only football videos all day, couldn’t have not seen that goal, but to match the atmosphere, I acted like I saw it for the first time.
“Wow, this is really legendary? How did she move like that?”
Valentina chuckled at my fuss.
“Today, this is it. Tina, watch well during training. I’ll follow it perfectly.”
“Today’s recovery training, so I probably won’t do shooting training?”
“Well, you can do it after.”
“…You showed it for nothing.”
After talking in the usual atmosphere again, the bus arrived.
And Valentina sitting in the aisle seat stood up. The pants tucked between her thighs and the chair showed Valentina’s snow-white and firm thighs. Valentina, unfazed, adjusted her pants with her fingers, but the sudden sight of bare skin made blood rush to the lower part again.
‘…Fuck.’
Before Valentina turned her head, I quickly took emergency measures and stood up from my seat.
‘Why am I suddenly like this?’
I had seen scenes like this many times while training, so it shouldn’t have been a problem.
But my body felt like it suddenly escaped my control.
No, it wasn’t sudden. More precisely, after going to the movie with Camila. More accurately, after seeing the scene where that thing inside Camila’s clothes slowly hardened.
When I was young, that is, when I was an elementary school student not long after birth, I couldn’t resist my sexual desire and pretended to sleep with Angela and touched Angela’s breasts a few times, but as I grew, my sexual desire almost disappeared due to hormonal influence, but that day’s experience made me strange.
‘…It was fucked up.’
Thinking such thoughts towards my friends… No, since I’ve known them for a long time, maybe it’s more embarrassing?
I couldn’t be sure of anything, but what was certain was that my condition was strange lately.