Chapter 46
Translator - Zofu
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* * *
I'm dizzy.
Of course I am.
I press my palm to my forehead.
What the hell is he doing? I can't wrap my head around it. That empty expression. And that look, like he's holding something back, like he's in pain. If your girlfriend hanging out with another guy hurts, isn't getting pissed the normal reaction?
"No, fuck..."
Could it be... that it doesn't hurt?
No. I saw his face. That expression looked like he was genuinely holding back 'pain.' While making that face, like there's nothing he can do...
Nothing he can do?
That makes no sense.
Even if there's nothing you can do. There's a difference between what you can and can't endure.
Is there a man in this world who could endure his girlfriend cheating?
I can say with certainty: no.
Right, Kim Seok-hyun... no.
Anyway, something's wrong.
Really fucking wrong. Like, seriously fucked up. Did those two have a fight? They haven't even been walking home together lately... there's this awkward tension... but that's no reason for someone to end up like that. They were fucking inseparable before, at least until we started at the academy.
A tower built with effort doesn't collapse that easily.
More than that... he knew, didn't he?
That I've been hanging around Lee Ah-rin a lot. He figured it out before I even said anything.
And yet... he didn't show a single sign of caution. Didn't care one bit.
This is dangerous.
If this keeps up... I'll have to keep fucking Lee Ah-rin. Cold sweat runs down my back. I need to find a way out, but the holes are only getting smaller. This can't go on.
First... first, let's head back to class. I turn around and bump into something.
"Found... oops, heh... watch out, puppy."
Standing in front of me is Han Ye-rin.
"What were you doing?"
Then Han Ye-rin links her arm through my left arm.
Wait, what? What the hell is this... the cold sweat won't stop. It's endless. The moment I try to clear my head, weird shit keeps happening. I try to pull my arm away.
"Stay still."
Instead, she presses herself closer.
Her soft, heavy chest touches my arm, then pulls away. Not the slightest bit arousing. Just pure terror. My whole body goes rigid.
"I told you, didn't I? A puppy is..."
Mine forever.
Han Ye-rin grins.
This is insane. I want to run, but Han Ye-rin won't let go. A dead end. A trap I can't escape. This feeling is like...
A dog having its leash snapped on.
"Let's go back to class like this."
Han Ye-rin drags me along.
The slight brush of her chest against my arm gives me goosebumps.
Eyes around us start staring. Noticing this, Han Ye-rin unhooks her arm, but instead—
"Isn't this much better?"
She grabs my hand.
"Why is your hand so sweaty?"
Han Ye-rin slowly interlocks her fingers with mine. If it's sweaty, why not just let go...
"Let's go."
Fuck.
Slowly, I'm dragged back to class.
In the hallway, I see a familiar figure. Kim Seok-hyun... he flinches, face flushed, watches us for a moment, then ducks into the classroom. That expression... he's aroused. I cradle my forehead with my right hand. It's complicated.
Everyone's fucking crazy.
My steps are heavy.
Han Ye-rin gradually presses even closer. Now her chest is completely glued to my arm.
"Don't even think about running away."
Han Ye-rin turns her head and meets my eyes.
"Because from now on, you have to stay by my side."
Han Ye-rin squeezes our interlocked fingers tightly. A warning.
"I told you yesterday, didn't I? To stay away from those two. But you didn't listen at all, puppy."
We arrive at the classroom and sit down side by side.
"You met Lee Ah-rin again today."
Han Ye-rin's face turns slightly cold. I didn't even want to meet her, fuck. This is driving me insane. I'm cornered.
"Why do you keep doing that? You can't keep fighting. Did you... make up or something? Look at me, puppy. I'm just asking out of curiosity. Why do you keep... meeting Lee Ah-rin?"
Han Ye-rin smiles. Her mouth is smiling, but her eyes are like... blocks of ice. Cold.
"Th-that's..."
My mouth goes dry. One wrong word and my girlfriend dies. My eyes dart around. I need to say something quick—
"Never mind."
Han Ye-rin grins.
"I'll take care of it myself."
Wait.
Wait.
Hold on.
"What do you mean?"
Han Ye-rin tilts her head.
No, fuck. My girlfriend's about to die and you're not going crazy? You fucking bitch! My head spins. I need to find a way... I don't know. For now, just say something, anything...
"Th-that... do you know Han Seok-ho?"
"Han Seok-ho?"
I meet Han Ye-rin's eyes.
"It's just... they had a fight, and since I have a girlfriend, she asked me how to 'make up.' That's all. Really. Nothing else."
Han Ye-rin nods.
"So either way, you made up with Lee Ah-rin? If you're asking about something like that, your relationship must be good again... practically friends?"
No, fuck, that's not it. I shake my head. My heart pounds like crazy. I can't think straight.
"F-friends? No way. After fighting like that. I just have a lot of dating experience, so she asked! Fuck, and..."
"And?"
"Lee Ah-rin is, like, super into Han Seok-ho. I mean, she really, really likes him. So she dragged me along 'forcefully' to get feedback on how to reconcile."
"'Forcefully'? Does that work?"
Who the fuck says that?
I barely swallow the curse rising in my throat. The bitch who's fucking someone else is running her mouth about being forced.
"As you know, Lee Ah-rin has a fiery personality."
"Right. She's definitely bold."
"With that personality, she's a devoted girlfriend. But she already asked everyone around her for solutions. Nothing worked. I'm the only one left. You get the gist?"
"Hmm... I can guess."
Han Ye-rin nods. It's all lies and bullshit. But I have to do this.
"She threatened me. Showed me a photo on her phone."
"A photo? What photo?"
I act. An act trembling with shame.
"It's a very... perfectly timed photo. Of me 'harassing' another girl."
"Interesting. But 'perfectly timed'?"
As if that's interesting. Fucking bitch.
"I just bumped into a girl on the bus. But she showed me that photo and said... if I don't give her feedback right now, she'll attach all kinds of disgusting stories to it and spread it online."
My body trembles with fake rage. The threat was real. But the result... fuck, it worked. I'm going insane.
"Hmm... that kind of play... no, who would even believe..."
Han Ye-rin meets my eyes.
"But if it were you now... it's definitely possible."
Since you're good with public opinion.
Han Ye-rin nods.
"But the reason she'd go that far... they fought badly, right?"
This is the clincher.
"They did. But it wasn't just with me, was it? She also fought with the boyfriend she cherishes most, the one she wants to marry. If she can find a clue just by talking to me, she'd run and ask. That's how much she loves him."
We lock eyes.
"But Lee Ah-rin has a strong pride, doesn't she?"
"She does."
"That's why she resorts to threats. She doesn't want to be the first to back down after such a big fight."
"Oh..."
Han Ye-rin rests her chin on her hand. Please...!
"I understand. So all this time, Lee Ah-rin dragging you around was..."
"Because it's embarrassing to ask openly where people can see. She asks in deserted places."
"Unexpectedly naive. I thought she'd just ask around casually with that personality."
"That's why she's a devoted girlfriend."
"Then... the conversation you were having with Han Seok-ho earlier was..."
"I was persuading him. They had a huge fight... it wasn't easy."
"Hmm... got it. I understand."
Han Ye-rin nods seriously.
She believes this? Phew... I thought I was dead. Han Ye-rin probably won't go around asking if it's true. Lee Ah-rin doesn't have many friends anyway... not bad. I take out a handkerchief and wipe my forehead.
"Wait."
Han Ye-rin's voice turns cold again.
With a creak, my stiff neck turns to the side.
"That handkerchief."
Ah.
Fuck.
Seriously.
"Give it to me."
I fucked up. With trembling hands, I hand the handkerchief to Han Ye-rin.
"I've been wondering. Who exactly... is the owner of this handkerchief."
Our eyes meet. Han Ye-rin's eyes slightly, but surely, lose their light. She puts the handkerchief in her pocket.
"I need to know now, puppy. This handkerchief..."
Whose is it?
I know instinctively. If I answer, someone dies.
"Tell me. Quickly."
My legs tremble and my teeth grind, clack-clack-clack.
No. No matter what lie I tell, there's no one who can handle Han Ye-rin. No, wait. There is one.
The person who bought me this handkerchief.
Slowly, I open my mouth.
"Han Seol-ah."
I'll just tell the truth.
"...What?"
Han Ye-rin's face contorts with confusion.
Now I... don't know anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy. If I lie, an innocent person dies. That's something... I absolutely cannot handle. Like those two missing boys. They'd just disappear.
Then, the choice I have to make is only one.
Once again, losing a friend.
There's no other way.
My chest hurts. I feel like I'm going insane. My heart pounds out of rhythm from the pain. I hold back tears that threaten to spill.
If Lee Ah-rin left on her own before. This time.
I have to push my friend away myself.
It's painfully insane. Insanely painful. Insanely... insanely difficult.
"...Got it."
I'm sorry.
Seol-ah.
"Don't meet her anymore."
This is the end.
* * *
I see Seol-ah in front of me.
Seol-ah approaches me.
I.
Run away.
I'm sorry.
It's already lunchtime. I can't stand eating in the cafeteria. I sit on a bench and tear open a bread bag.
Once again.
I'm alone.
I knock my head against the pain.
Heavy sighs pour out without stopping. Even when I think it might be a dream, I don't wake up.
My throat tightens and the bread won't go down properly. As I sit there—
"Huff, hoo..."
A pure white light bursts and spreads beside me. Where the light passes—
"Why... are you running away..."
Seol-ah is there. Instinctively, I try to run, rising from my seat.
"Don't... run away..."
Seol-ah grabs me. She forces me to sit back down.
"We're friends... why are you running away...?"
Seol-ah meets my eyes. A slightly teary expression. That look weakens my resolve.
"Th-that... there's a reason."
I avert my gaze. Seol-ah slowly sits beside me.
"What... happened...?"
Seol-ah pats my thigh. I slowly nod.
"Tell me? I'm still your friend..."
I shake my head left and right.
I can't tell her. One wrong move and my girlfriend dies. One mistake is enough. Seol-ah slightly furrows her brow.
"I... saw..."
I lower my head and meet Seol-ah's eyes.
"Han Ye-rin dragging you... to class..."
She saw that? I avert my eyes in panic.
"What's going on... with you and Han Ye-rin...?"
I lower my head.
"Tae-ho..."
Seol-ah gently grasps my chin, forcing me to turn. Our eyes meet.
"I know... that Han Ye-rin keeps bothering you..."
"She bothered you again...? By Han Ye-rin. But because of that... avoiding your friend... seemed strange..."
"Usually when things are hard, you go to them... so I kept wondering why you were avoiding me..."
"Ah... I realized... Han Ye-rin ordered you... told you not to come near me..."
"She's such a... bitch, isn't she...? She calls you puppy... but treats you like an actual dog..."
"Don't be too upset... I'm still your friend..."
Han Seol-ah slowly pats my back. Like an idiot, tears keep threatening to fall.
"I'll... figure something out..."
...Huh?
"See you later..."
Han Seol-ah disappears in front of my eyes, wrapped in light.
What? She'll figure something out?
* * *
I return to class.
Han Ye-rin smiles at me, grinning.
That fucking bitch.
When I sit down, Han Ye-rin meets my eyes.
"Did you eat well?"
Han Ye-rin slowly moves closer to me. I can see it. That burning possessiveness. I'm really going to lose my mind—
BANG—!
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
With a loud noise, the classroom door opens. And—
"Han Ye-rin... where are you..."
Seol-ah walks out.
Wait.
Huh?
"Ah... found you."
Seol-ah flies through the air. In an instant, she appears in front of me and Han Ye-rin.
"My friend...
stop bothering him..."
With slightly cold eyes, she looks at Han Ye-rin. I turn my head to look at Han Ye-rin—her confusion is obvious.
"...Are you kidding?"
Han Ye-rin's legs tremble slightly. I can see her being consumed by fear. What the hell is happening...
"Th-that's..."
"Don't make excuses."
Seol-ah glares at Han Ye-rin. Han Ye-rin's shoulders automatically shrink.
"I'm... I'm sorry..."
"'Sorry'?"
Seol-ah's expression turns cold.
"I knew you'd say that... I didn't know..."
Seol-ah turns her gaze to meet mine. And then—
"Let's go..."
She grabs my wrist.
My strength drains. My heart keeps pounding. Seol-ah pulls me to the front of the door. She turns her head to the side.
"This is the last thing I'll say..."
"Don't mess with my friend..."
"I don't know about... fighting your group..."
"But I can at least... break an arm..."
Seol-ah grabs my wrist.
And starts running down the hallway.
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